Changes - Joel Miller Imagine [The Last Of Us]

Changes - Joel Miller Imagine [The Last of Us]

Title: Changes

Pairing: Joel Miller X Reader

Word Count: 2,158 words

Warning(s): gunfire, murder, awkwardness, abandonment

Summary: [Episode 6] (Y/n) thought that Joel and them were finally making some steps forward in their relationship... in a few ways. If only progress didn't run the constant risk of going backward.

Author's Note: I have a friend that asked if I had written The Last of Us fanfiction... I am adding to the collection for their sake... totally not my own.

PART TWO HERE

PART THREE HERE

----------------------

Working with Joel was strange.

There were these times when he was completely closed off. Gruff and abrasive. Acted like he had never smiled a day in his life. I would affectionately call him Oscar to Grouch at those times. In my head. The last time I said that one out loud, I'm pretty sure he had to use all of his self-restraint to keep himself from shooting me.

But there were other times when the shell cracked. He would smile at me. He would actually participate in my admittedly stupid banter. He was sweeter. Not a lot, but enough for both of us to relax.

I sometimes thought that I clung to those "other times" a little too tightly.

That was why I stuck around him for so long. Those looks behind the curtain were enough to get my attention. I held onto them as much as possible. It was like holding a burning candle and watching the flame dim until you could find another match.

I tried to believe that I wasn't seeing things that weren't there.

But that would have been too easy.

I had to face the possibility that there was nothing there between us.

That realization came like a slap in the face.

We had gotten a truck and supplies from Bill and Frank's compound. The three of us were hidden away in the woods, far away from the road.

Ellie was asleep.

I was sitting next to Joel. I had always had trouble sleeping, even before the apocalypse. The constant threat to my life didn't help.

"You should rest."

"Don't tell the chronic insomniac to sleep," I replied. "It's like telling a psychopath that they're a psychopath."

I looked over just in time to watch his eyebrows furrow. "What?"

"It's very upsetting," I explained.

"Right," he mumbled. "I will never get how your mind works."

"Keeps me interesting," I shrugged.

I leaned my elbows on my knees as I watched Ellie a bit longer. I took a deep breath.

"It feels weird how protective I feel over her," I said quietly. "It hasn't been all that long, yet I feel like I'd burn the world down to keep her safe."

Joel hummed in response.

"You are so talkative," I mumbled. "It's one of your best qualities."

"I've been saying that for years," he replied sarcastically. I scoffed.

"I think you're obsessed with the gruff, mysterious reputation you have going on."

"I would've changed it if I could," he explained. "Damn thing made it so you're stuck to my side, why would I choose to hold onto it?"

"Oh, hush, I've grown on you."

"Like a tumor."

I chuckled at the sarcastic response. "Asshole."

"Keeping up the reputation."

I rolled my eyes as I turned my head to look at him. He looked at me.

Maybe it was the silence. Or the loneliness of the whole thing. Or some stress spilling over into the current moment. Maybe it was just something about the woods. Something around us made me braver for just a few moments.

And those few moments were all I needed to push myself over and pressed my lips to his.

It was nothing more than a peck before he pulled away from me. Abrupt and sudden. Like a scared animal.

I felt a sliver of pain slide through my heart as I turned my attention away from him, looking straight forward.

"(Y/n)," Joel said.

I didn't respond. I felt dizzy from my own stupidity.

"Me and you... we're two people that happen to do jobs together," he muttered after a while.

I nodded, trying to ignore the embarrassment that wanted to come out as projectile vomit right about now.

"That's it-"

"I got it," I cut him off. "I... I'm sorry."

He cleared his throat. "You should-"

"Get some rest. Yeah."

There it was. That shell.

I should have just grown accustomed to it.

We continued on like nothing had happened. It was all work. Nothing more than that. We just needed to get all of the work done.

I held onto that as we drove off the next morning.

It was easier to focus on Ellie than it was to think about Joel.

She was a smart kid. Smart and resourceful and brave. She was ready to kick ass at the drop of a hat. I admired her. Maybe that was part of why I was so protective of her.

It was especially easy to ignore my embarrassment when the chaos broke out around us in Kansas City.

The truck crashed through some old store. The gunfire followed soon after. We had gotten Ellie some hole in the wall. Safety.

The silence after the gunfire was almost scarier than the sound of the shots. It was the adrenaline. The fear meeting caution. It was like a closed soda bottle getting shaken up.

I heard the door slam open before I saw anything move. A guy tried to pin Joel to the ground.

Shooting him was the easy part.

Getting my hands to stop shaking after was the worst. I let out a loud sigh.

I heard Ellie climbing out of the wall to check on us.

"You alright," I asked her. She nodded. I took another deep breath.

Joel had pulled himself off the ground by then. He was just staring at me with this shocked look on his face.

"What about you," I asked.

"I'm good," he nodded. "Thanks."

"We'd be kinda screwed if I let you die," I replied. "Just doing the right thing."

There was a long pause as the tense air seemed to dissipate. I barely managed to drag my eyes from Joel.

"Head back in there," I told Ellie. "Look for a door for us to get through."

She nodded.

It wasn't until she was gone that I turned to Joel again. "You sure you're okay? You got a... look."

There was no response from him.

"Joel?"

"Ellie, turn around," Joel said, still looking at me. I glanced back at the wall, chuckling a bit at her little face poking out.

"Why," she asked.

"Just do it," he muttered.

I heard the dirt and gravel shift under her feet as she grumbled and spun around on her heels.

I raised an eyebrow at Joel. "What is it?"

He grabbed my arm and pulled me forward. I stumbled a bit as he awkwardly kissed me. I grinned against his lips as I balanced myself and kissed him back.

I pulled back first. I smiled before stepping away a bit. I saw a grin pulling at his lips as I did.

"You can turn around, Ellie," I chuckled.

"Did you guys kiss," she asked as she did, popping her head out again.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I shrugged as I walked over to her. "No idea at all."

"You're full of shit!"

"Am I? Joel, am I?"

He shook his head. "Not at all."

Ellie looked between Joel and me. She finally scoffed and rolled her eyes.

It felt like something had changed. Shifted.

And I liked it. I really, really liked it.

After the heartbreak in Kansas City, I expected that shell to build itself up again.

Joel wasn't romantic. I knew that much. But I found enough comfort in how his hand touched my back. It was barely there, but it was enough. I offered him a sad grin.

Three months.

Three months after that change initially happened.

We developed some patterns.

We found ourselves in a camp. A commune of survivors that made a life for themselves. A new beginning. It gave me a moment of pause. A small shimmer of hope that I felt silly entertaining.

Ellie and I ended up following Maria around while Joel caught up with his brother. It was nice. Knowing that he found him again.

We were put up in some house to shower and change. It was in amazing condition. Unfair, honestly.

I stuck next to Ellie as much as I could.

We snuck out of the movie they were playing that night. She was reading from some old diary. I was looking at the old photos and posters. It was a museum. A perfectly preserved image of the past.

Joel walked in a while later.

He stood in the middle of the room. Tense. I stepped over to him. I didn't want to cross any lines, but my brain was yelling at me to grab his hand or touch his face or something. Do something to bring him back down to earth.

I stood halfway between him and Ellie.

"Why are you here," Ellie asked from her seat.

"I came here to talk to you."

"No, why are you still here," she corrected. "If you're gonna ditch me, ditch me."

"No one's ditching you," I shook my head, looking at her for a moment before turning my attention toward Joel. The guilt was etched into his face. "Isn't that right, Joel?"

"I heard him," she spoke up. "Talking to his brother while you were focused on the lights and shit. 'I have to leave her. You have to take her.'"

I clenched my jaw. "Goddammit, Joel."

"I stood up for you today because I thought..."

Ellie trailing off broke my heart.

"I made this decision for your own good," Joel spoke up. "You'll be way better off with Tommy."

"You didn't think to talk to me about this," I asked.

He ignored me, "He knows the area better than I do-"

"Do you give a shit about me or not," Ellie slammed the diary down as she snapped at him.

"Of course, I do."

I looked down and let them argue.

I knew where I would be at the end of all of this. The only question was whether or not Joel was going to join me.

"Then, what are you so afraid of?" she stepped closer as she spoke. "I'm not her, y'know?"

I tensed.

"Maria told us about Sarah and-"

"Don't," Joel stopped her. "Don't say another word."

"I'm sorry about your daughter, Joel," Ellie walked closer to him. "But I've lost people too."

"You have no idea what loss is."

"Everybody I have cared for has either died or left me. Everybody, fucking except for you!"

I barely moved forward as she went to shove Joel backward. He didn't flinch.

"So don't tell me that I'd be safer with somebody else because the truth is I would just be more scared."

I touched her arm.

"You're right," Joel said. "You're not my daughter. And I sure as hell ain't your dad. Now, come dawn, we're going our separate ways."

"Joel," I muttered, following him out. He slammed the door shut. "Let's talk about this. Because that should have happened long before you made this choice."

"There's nothing to talk about," he replied.

I scoffed.

"Be ready to go in the morning."

"Joel, no."

"Our job's done."

"She's terrified," I said. "We're probably the most stable things that she's had in years. I'm not gonna abandon her. She's a kid-"

"She's not a kid, she's cargo. This was a job and now the job is done. Let's go."

"You're gonna look me in the eye and tell me that you actually still think that?"

"What did you expect to change?"

I froze.

The last thing I wanted to do in that moment was cry in front of him. But I couldn't help the burning behind my eyes. After all that had happened... all we had been through... the kisses... I thought that it was safe to assume that things were different now. That something had shifted in his mind.

"Have a safe trip, Joel," I muttered, blinking away any tears that tried to fight their way out.

"(Y/n), come on-"

"Job's done, right," I asked. "And nothing's changed?"

He paused.

"You said it before... we are just two people that sometimes do jobs together. Well, the job's done so you don't have to worry about me being 'stuck to your side all the time' anymore. You can finally get rid of me. Go do whatever the hell you want. I am going to make sure that kid isn't completely abandoned."

"(Y/n)-"

"Have a safe fucking trip, Joel!"

I walked back inside and slammed the door shut behind me.

I looked over at Ellie, who was standing in the middle of the room with tears in her eyes. It broke my heart. Damn near shattered the thing.

I stepped forward and yanked her into a hug. "I'm not going anywhere, got it?"

She hugged me back.

"I am not leaving you," I repeated, finally feeling the tears fall as my voice became shaky. "I'm going to stay right here and keep you safe. For as damn long as I can. Got it?"

She nodded against my shoulder.

"We're gonna figure this out, kid."

I just hoped that time would prove that I wasn't lying to her.

----------------------

Author's Note: I know it takes him all of like a minute to turn his ass around, but I needed the dramatic cut off. Let me have this one.

----------------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

It was super hard to pick just 10!!!

I'm stretched out on your grave- Kate Rusby

I'm a wanted man - Royal Deluxe

Wonderful Life - Smith and Burrows

What he wrote - Laura Marling

Do I want know - Arctic Monkeys

Is this desire - PJ Harvey

St.James Infirmary Blues - TheWhite Stripes

Nick cave and the bad seeds: ⬇️

Brother, my Cup is Empty

Abattoir Blues

Beat the devil's tattoo ----------------------------------------------------

K, It's the 10th anniversary of Peaky on 12 Sept and I must know, what are the top 10 songs you associate with Peaky Blinders?

Oh Lee @zablife I love this!!! What a beautiful way to blend the 2 things I talk about most on here: music and Peaky! However, it was so hard to pick just 10 - I hope you don’t mind my 2 honorable mentions at the bottom!!

Ok so of course I could have just added 10 songs from the soundtrack that I obviously associate with the show since that’s where I was exposed to them…but I decided to dig a little deeper, look through my playlists, and pick out some songs that make my mind go to the show whenever I listen to them. So without further ado, here’s my 10 (+2) songs — I’ve added links to the songs if you’d like to listen to them:

1. Grandfather Collar by Liam St. John

I just had to include this song because, for me, there’s no better song where every single lyric reminds me of Tommy and his energy.

2. Backbone by KALEO

This one immediately makes me think of the Shelby Brothers in the war — so much so that I just had to make a moodboard based off of it.

3. Brother Run Fast by KALEO

Ok so there’s a few KALEO songs that I can add on here, but I’ll leave it to 2 for the sake of the others haha … this one also has that almost haunting tone to it - definitely makes me think of the brothers.

4. Heavy by The Glorious Sons

The lyrics of the song are pretty self explanatory as to why I’ve associated it with the show. I mean: “it never paid to be merciful” , “I’ll put you down if the group’s what you need” and the opening lyric “come heavy or don’t come at all” are shining examples of why.

5. Heaven Loves A Fire by LAOUD

I like the vibes of this one - they’re rather haunting and I can honestly see it playing over some of the scenes … it also makes me think of Arthur and the struggles he faces throughout the series.

6. Sleeping On the Blacktop by Colter Wall

Another song that’s just got the same vibes as Peaky. A few of Colter Wall’s do — @moral-terpitude wrote an amazing piece with The Devil Wears A Suit and Tie … this one can be another candidate to play over the montages we all love.

7. Work Song by Hozier

I couldn’t make the list without a Hozier song on it … I have a few in my playlist, but I chose this one because of the vibes it gives off. Everyone knows it, everyone loves it - I think it fits the show perfectly.

8. Grim by The Blue Stones

I just found this song/band recently and have been vibing with it. I think a lot of the lyrics match the Shelby Brothers and the whole song has these kind of ‘f-you’ vibes that are prevalent in the series…again, another montage candidate??

9. Make It Rain by Ed Sheeran

Kinda like Heaven Loves A Fire - the vibes are just haunting and the lyrics are pugnent…I think it could either many of the characters.

10. Song of A Dead Man by Taylor John Williams

This is another song that holds strong Tommy vibes — it’s also just overall haunting in its tone and some of its lyrics.

Honorable Mentions:

1. Dipped In Bleach by Liam St. John

This is another artist whose discography lends well to the show … a lot of the songs he has are gritty and the topics he includes really relate well with Peaky.

2. Makin’ It by Bishop Gunn

This is a bit of a lighter song, but I definitely find myself thinking of the Shelby brothers while listening to it - again, mostly Arthur … the lyric “if hells where I’m heading, then I’m making good time” resonates with all of them, I think.

———

Ahh this was so fun, Lee!! I hope you liked my choices!! Like I said - I can go on and on about music — if you’ve made it down this far, thank you for reading!! I’d love for you to share the songs you associate with Peaky Blinders too…I’m ALWAYS looking for new songs!!

Serve & Protect

Summary: You moved to the small quiet town of Hawkins after transferring from the NYPD and reunite with your old partner, Jim Hopper. However, Hawkins isn't as quiet as it seems, and your past follows you there.

Pairing: Jim Hopper x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Major Trigger Warning- mentions of past SA, violence, guns, language.

Previous Chapter

Chapter 13- if this is goodbye...

"After Sara I had to get away." Hopper suddenly started to say breaking the silence.

You remained curled up against his side, your face buried against his chest while he held you.

"I had to get away from that place. Had to outrun those memories, I guess." He continued to say quietly. "I mean, why do you think I ended up back in this shithole town?"

You didn't respond, but he didn't expect you to either. Your tears had long ago dried, but he kept holding you. And for the first time in a long time, you felt safe. You felt safe in his arms.

"What I'm trying to say is... I understand why you came to Hawkins to get away from that. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you when your past followed you here."

You tilted your head up towards him, but he was staring straight ahead looking anywhere but at you.

"It's not your job to protect me, Hop."

"Yeah, it is." He argued, sparing a quick glance down at you showing off the tears still shimmering in his eyes. "You're my Deputy. I'm responsible for you, but above all that, you're my best friend and I made a promise to not let that asshole hurt you again, and I failed."

"Hopper-"

"I should have protected you." His voice was heavy with shame, the same way his guilt weighed down upon his shoulders. He wiped his eyes with his free hand and let out a deep shaky breath before resting his head back against the brick wall.

Neither of you said anything for a few minutes after that. You didn't want to move out of Hoppers arms, and he clearly didn't want to let you go either, but you both knew that you had to go back inside and deal with this whole opening gate in Hawkins that Alexei knew about.

"Is it safe to come out?" Murray's voice suddenly shouted in the distance.

Hopper glanced down at you in his arms before looking in the direction of the man's voice.

"Yeah." He shouted back and a few seconds later Murray walked around the corner with two glasses of clear liquid.

"Figured you'd both could use a drink. Vodka?"

Hopper took one of the glasses without a word and skulled the mouthful of alcohol before you unwrapped yourself from around his side and took the other glass which Murray handed over with a gentle smile.

You nodded your thanks and down the drink welcoming the familiar burn of vodka.

"There's more inside if you guys are ready to come back in? Alexei has more details to share." Murray explained, turning on his heels and walking back towards the front door.

A few minutes later you were back on Murray's couch with another shot of Vodka while Alexei and Murray explained things in more details, including how to shut the opening gate.

Hopper re-laid all the information back to Doctor Owens... well, it was the phone number Owens had given him for emergencies and it wasn't Owens that answered. But Hopper told the person everything and requested military backup at Starcourt Mall. Whether the person on the phone believed everything he had just said is one thing and whether or not he passes it on to Doctor Owens was an entirely different thing.

"I should call Joyce and tell her what's going on." Hopper suddenly said, reaching for the phone on the table once again.

"What? Why?" You asked in confusion watching he grab the phone already dialling her number that he knew by heart.

"She's involved in this. She should know what's happening."

"No, you should keep this phone line open for when Owens calls." You argued not understanding the urgency for Joyce to know these details.

What was Joyce going to do? Was she going to go to Starcourt and take down the Russians by herself? Hell no.

"It will only take a minute." Hopper dismissed.

"Whatever." You huffed walking back to the kitchen and stealing another mouthful of Murray's vodka.

"Trouble in paradise?" Murray asked, raising his eyebrows as he motioned between you and Hopper.

"Don't know what you're talking about." You responded, screwing the cap back on the bottle.

Murray opened his mouth to argue but then Hopper walked into the kitchen, and he quickly shut his mouth.

"C'mon, we're heading back to Hawkins." He announced catching you by surprise.

"Why?" You asked in confusion because weren't you meant to wait by the phone for Doctor Owens to call?

"The kids are at the 4th of July festival and that is a stone's throw from Starcourt."

Good enough for you.

"Let's go then." You said, snapping into action.

You were back on the road within a few minutes. Murray and Alexei squished together in the back seat of the car while Hopper drove. The sun was beginning to set along the horizon, and it would be dark by the time you got back to Hawkins, but if the kids were at that festival, you had to find them.

-

Murray and Alexei remained in the car when you got to the festival. Hopper instructing them to go over the plans while you and him looked for the kids.

It turned out that finding the kids at this packed festival was like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

"Hey, isn't that Karen Wheeler? Mikes mother?" You asked, pointing to the blonde woman who was entering one of the amusement rides.

"Yeah, let's see if she knows where the kids are." Hopper said, already heading straight over to the ride.

You weren't entirely sure what the ride was, but you flashed your Hawkins PD badge at the man by the gate who instantly let you and Hopper through without question. You stepped inside the large UFO shaped ride to find Karen inside with a bunch of other people.

"Karen Wheeler?" You called out, walking over to her.

The woman turned around at your voice and frowned a little in confusion when she saw you.

"Uh, what can I do for you Officer?"

"Have you seen the kids anywhere? The-the what do they call themselves? The party?" You asked causing the confusion to spread across her face even more.

"No, I-I haven't seen them. I don't think they're here yet. Why? Oh, God, what did Mike do now? Is he in trouble?" She asked sighing with a shake of her head.

"You three, up against the wall!" The lady by some kind of console in the centre of the ride ordered.

"They're not in trouble. But where are they?" Hopper clarified ignoring the other lady.

"Oh my gosh, I can hardly keep track these days. Uh, they were at, uh... Dustin's, then Lucas's, Max's... you know how it is, summer!"

You were about to ask further questions but then the ride door suddenly closed.

Oh, that ain't good.

"Last warning, you two. Up against the wall!" The worker by the control panel instructed.

"Hold the ride!" Hopper shouted back, but the woman shook her head.

"On your life, Magnum."

She pulled the lever on the control in front of her and the ride suddenly began to spin. Hopper quickly planted his back against one of the padded walls before he grabbed your hand and pulled you beside him.

Your back hit the padded wall just as the ride began to spin faster, and faster, and faster. You tilted your head up towards Hopper who met your gaze and squeezed your hand ever so slightly for silent comfort as the ride kept spinning rapidly.

Neither of you said anything nor did you release each other's hands as the ride continued to spin before eventually slowing down and coming to a stop a few minutes later.

"Hate is not a strong enough word for that ride." You muttered, Hopper still holding your hand as you walked out the UFO shaped hell ride.

Hopper snorted softly in amusement but didn't get a chance to respond.

"Jim! Jim! Y/N!" Murray's voice suddenly shouted, and you looked up to find him waving frantically in the distance at the two of you. "They got Alexei, Jim! Alexei! They got Alexei, Jim!"

Sudden dread filled your stomach. They got Alexei? Who the fuck was they?

"We gotta go." Hopper suddenly warned and just by the tone of voice alone, you knew it was bad.

You quickly looked up to find Hopper staring at someone off to the left and you followed his line of sight and spotted the terminator guy from earlier marching through the crowd towards you.

Ah, shit.

"We gotta go. Now."

Hopper's hand tightened around your own as he took off running in the opposite direction pulling you with him as you ran. However, you didn't get too far before you spotted another rough looking guy up ahead who seemed to be concealing something in his jacket.

Yeah, that was definitely a gun. Why bother hiding it like that if it's that obvious?

"Chief, there's another." You said, nodding in that other man's direction.

"Shit." Hopper cursed under his breath before diverting left, his hand still grasping yours tightly as you ran through the crowd and around food stalls. The people around you were completely oblivious to the Russian soldiers walking amongst them. They had no idea that anything was happening while you and Hopper ran for your lives.

More soldiers kept appearing at every turn and you very quickly realised that there was no way the two of you could outrun them, and Hopper seemed to realise that too. He came to a sudden halt in the middle of the crowd and let go of your hand before pulling out the car keys from his pocket and holding them out to you.

"Find Murray, get the car, bring it around back." He ordered, shoving the keys into your palm when you didn't take them.

"What- no. Hop, I'm not leaving you here. There's like six Russians with AK's walking around." You argued, grabbing his hand to stop him from running off.

"I can draw them away and give you time to get to the car. Now, go!"

"No! This feels like a goodbye. I am not leaving you here to die!" You snapped, angry tears rising in your eyes.

You have been through too much to lose Hopper. After everything that's happened you could not lose him. No way.

"Goodbye is always implied in this line of work. I guess I usually just put it out my mind. Maybe I shouldn't do that anymore." He began to say lifting his hand and cupping the side of your face with a gentle smile. "But if this is goodbye then..."

Hopper trailed off as he leant forward and captured your lips with his kissing you gently. Your body froze in absolute shock but only for a second before you lifted your hand and grabbed the back of his neck pulling him closer to deepen the kiss.

A moment later Hopper pulled away, resting his forehead against yours as he breathed heavily, "I just had to do that once before I die."

"You are not dying." You stated sternly, biting your now swollen lip.

He nodded against your head, "then meet me around the back with a car."

"Hop-"

"Do you trust me?" He asked, his beautiful blue eyes locking with yours.

"Always."

"Then go." He responded glancing over his shoulder at the terminator guy who was getting closer through the crowd before focusing back on you. "Run, Y/N!"

Every muscle in your body was screaming at you not to go, but instead, you nodded and reluctantly sprinted off in the opposite direction while you heard Hopper behind you shouting at the Russians, luring them to him.

Jesus Christ, Jim. You better know what you're doing.

You doubled back to where you had last seen Murray and to your relief, he must have spotted you running around the festival like a headless chicken standing out in your uniform because he was shouting your name.

Following Murray through the crowded festival he led you around the back of a food stall and your heart shattered when you saw Alexei's lifeless body slumped down against the back wall.

Alexei, no.

You skidded to your knees beside him and tilted his head up from his chin knowing that position would be blocking his airways, but he was unresponsive and that's when you saw the bullet wound through his chest.

"No." You whispered to yourself shaking your head in denial.

"I-I just left for a minute... for a corn dog. A stupid corn dog." Murray was saying from somewhere behind you, his voice sounding as sad as you felt.

You pressed your hand against the still bleeding wound and pressed your fingers of the other against his neck trying to locate a pulse but there was nothing.

Alexei was dead.

"We need to go." You declared standing up and looking down at your blood-stained hand before taking in a deep breath. "We need to get to the car and meet Hopper around the back. Now."

Murray stared at you for a moment before glancing down at Alexei's dead body and he simply nodded. For the first time in as long as you've known him, Murray didn't have anything to say, so you nodded for him to follow and took off running in the direction of the parking lot, leaving Alexei's body behind.

Somehow you ran into Joyce Byers on your way to the parking lot. She was the one who had told Hopper that the kids were here, and she came here to find them, but was unable to.

A few minutes later you, Murray and Joyce were in the car speeding the car down the backroad behind the festival barely looking at where you were driving while you scanned the area for Hopper.

"Where is he?" Murray questioned.

"I don't know! Keep looking, I'll do another lap." You said once you reached the end of the festival.

Spinning the wheel, you turned the car around 180 degrees and sped back down the road you were just on until Hopper suddenly sprinted out from behind the back of one of the amusement rides.

"There!" Murray shouted the exact moment you saw him.

Slamming on the brakes, the car came to a rapid halt in the middle of the dirt road. Hopper ran over and jumped into the backseat not bothering to open the door of the convertible, and you took off down the road in the opposite direction of the festival.

"Alexei?" Hopper asked, glancing between you and Murray before looking over at Joyce in surprise at her presence.

You shook your head silently and Hopper's expression dropped before a Russian suddenly started speaking through the walkie talkie that he was holding.

"Hey, translate." Hopper instructed handing a walkie talkie to Murray.

Murray took the walkie without a word, and you realised that Hopper must have gotten it from one of the soldiers. Did that mean the terminator guy was finally dead? God, you hoped so.

The person kept speaking in Russian through the walkie but whatever they were saying, Murray clearly didn't like.

"What is it?" You asked hesitantly, glancing over at him before focusing back on the road as you drove.

"The kids are at the mall." Murray began to inform before he glanced over his shoulder at Hopper and Joyce. "The Russians are closing in on them."

"Not on my watch." You declared putting your foot down on the gas as you spun the car around in the direction of Starcourt Mall. 

-

Next Chapter

MASTERLIST pinned to profile

Ma'am please bestow upon me your amazing smut writing ways! 😩Your smut scenes are always top tier and I'm so jealous! I feel like all of my smut writing ends up turning out sounding the same.

Awwwh Lau 🥹🥹 Thank you babe, that’s so sweet of you - you’re so kind to me ♥️

And I was going to joke that I have no idea how I do it (and that is true to an extent - lots of it just happens in the moment!) but real talk, writing smut is one of the things I find MOST difficult in writing. It’s so time consuming to get it right, or it is for me anyway!

But here’s how I try and approach it… apologies I’m chatty and this got a bit long but I hope it’s useful to you and others!

Alex’s Guide To Writing Smut

Understand the context

1. What’s the vibe? Why are they having sex?

Is it angry/angsty/longing/needy/soft/sweet/something else I can’t think of right now? How are the characters arriving into the smut, because it totally shapes how you think about the tone of the scene and how the actual act will play out. Angry rough fucking is not the same as soft, we just woke up and I need you again sex. And that doesn’t need a tonne of exposition to set out in the story but you, the author, need to know where it’s coming from.

2. What’s their relationship?

Like above, sex between people who have been together for ages is different from sex with someone new(ish). Of course you can still surprise each other in a long term relationship but new relationships are all about discovery. And this affects how they communicate during the act itself, and how comfortable they might be together (as well as in voicing likes and dislikes). Also, a one night stand won’t be the same as a pairing who are a couple, and not all of those are born equal - is it a one night of fun or is that we only have one night, because we shouldn’t/can’t do this, but I love you? Those bring very different energies!

Creating scenes that feel ‘real’

4. Limbs logistics

This is the stuff that takes me the longest because I’m a weirdo and I like to be able to properly picture who and what’s where at any given moment! Do think about whether it’s physically possible for his hand to be there if it was just somewhere entirely different. And don’t be afraid to have a little fun with it if your setting allows a bit of real life challenges. Getting stuck or whatever and giggling about it is so human and relatable and will add realism.

3. Use ALL the senses.

Obviously this is an important tip for writing generally but if you want to build a sensory picture and create intimacy it’s extra important in smut writing. Smut writing isn’t just describing where all the limbs and appendages go - if you want it to be immersive you need to go beyond that and explore how the characters FEEL and what else they are experiencing:

- Smells in particular are especially evocative and unique. They stir up emotions and or create a sense of safety.

- Think about how you describe the different kinds of touches (again, all relates to knowing your context). Not just stimulation touch but how they hold each other, breath on skin etc. Are they gentle or rough. And most importantly, how does it feel - both touching and being touched.

- Don’t forget about taste - you don’t have to major on it if it gives you the ick but it’s part of the sexual experience so don’t forget to consider how it might be useful to include.

- Sound allows you to convey emotion with and without dialogue. How does their voice sound? When you’re pressed together can you actually feel the sound? You can use this to show progress too as they get closer to climax. (That feels so wrong to write in a non-smut scene context!)

5. Choice of positions/ sexual acts

My personal preference is starting with foreplay cos I enjoy writing the build up, but sometimes (back to context again!) that doesn’t make sense for your pairing. Deciding what they actually do during the smut scene totally depends on all the stuff in the section above. For example, are they short on time? Do they have all night? Is it the only night they might ever have and so they want to do everything you can think of? All of these will affect what kind of sex they have and the kind of energy they bring to it.

I rarely sit down and plot this out (but I’m not a plotter anyway so that’s just me) - I write what feels right in the moment because I’ve focussed my effort on knowing WHY these two particular people are having sex. Allow the context to guide what feels natural and have fun with it.

6. Dialogue

I used to write with hardly dialogue during smut because it made me uncomfortable trying to squeeze it in, but I’ve got better at it as I’ve written more. So I think you have to do what feels right for you, as the writer. But also, once again, you need to know what your characters would do. Are they talkers? Is one of them noisy but the other is the silent type? Does one have a filthy mouth that makes the other weak and they like to use that against them? Do you want to include a praise kink or someone who gets off on being humiliated (don’t forget AFTER CARE!). All of that affects what kind of dialogue you might have.

Personally I still tend to keep it quite limited (writing Emmett and the whole ‘having to be quiet’ is my fav kink of the moment!). Instead, I focus more on the senses side of things, and let them get a bit lost in the pleasure inside their own heads. And instead of external dialogue, I often opt for more internal chat about how the other person and what they’re doing makes them feel. And how they feel is influenced by, you guessed it, the context!

What to do when it all feels a bit too ‘samey’

So to Lauren’s original ask about scenes feeling overly similar - especially when you’re working with the same set of characters in a long running series. I have this all the time, especially with my Lockdown series because those two are just feral for each other! To tackle getting stuck in a rut, here’s what I think about:

Surprise, surprise, it’s all about CONTEXT again!

Ok yes, you only have so many sexual acts and positions to work with. And not everyone wants to write all the kinks in the land, I know I don’t! But what is different every time is why your couple is having sex - what’s led to/inspired that moment and how are they coming into the scene. So I refer you back to the very first section - understand the scenario and mood you’re trying to create. You can stack the different acts however you like but the energy and emphasis and emotion your characters bring to that should inherently make it feel different each time.

If you want a real life example, check out the smut scenes in this mini series - they fuck in every chapter but each time the context and how the characters come into the scene is different, so (I hope!) the smut reads differently.

And finally

Do not underestimate the power of a little humour! Real life sex can be funny. It’s intimate and, lots of the time, with someone you are (or want to be) very close to. They are moments of physical and emotional connection. Let the people be people. Don’t make it all perfect all the time. Life isn’t like that! 🤍

Other useful resources

How to write smut by @youneedsomeprompts

Smut terminology study

Useful smut language/sound descriptors

Really good guide to smut terms

☕️ Found this helpful? Why not buy me a coffee? - Ko-Fi

Awesomely cute dividers by @firefly-graphics

SO MUCH TO LOSE MASTERLIST - ONGOING

So Much to Lose - ONGOING

For readers 18+ only please!

summary:

Newly settled into Jackson city and forced to go on patrols with the miserable Joel Miller sets off a chain of events and encounters that have you questioning everything, including your own heart.note: Featuring Dark!Joel

story trailer

note: the gal in this is just a stand in, because the Reader is YOU in it.

Chapter 1 : Patrols

Chapter 2: The Doe

Chapter 3: You Make the Rules, Remember?

Chapter 4: Early Riser

Chapter 5: You still want this?

Chapter 6: Trapped Inside

Chapter 7: Spoiled

Chapter 8: Shoulder to Shoulder

Chapter 9: Repairs

Chapter 10: Rancher Street

Chapter 11: Snow

Chapter 12: Town Meeting

Chapter 13: Family Dinner

Chapter 14: Coffee Flavored Kisses

Chapter 15: Going Quiet

Chapter 16 : Will you tell me?

Chapter 17 : Pockets of Beauty - coming January 2025

Chapter 18: Useless

Chapter 19: Footprints in the snow

Chapter 20 - Looking Forward

Chapter 21 - Epilogue

EXTRAS

"Chapter 7 Joel" by @loveIvyxxx

Story MoodBoard by @angelbabysblog

Joel Miller Moodboard by @angelbabysblog

SMTL meme

&. 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  an  assortment  of  smut  /  nsfw  implied  dialogue  prompts  with  not  so  explicit  language.  feel  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ i’ve been thinking about you all day. ❜

❛ you can kiss me, you know. ❜

❛ how badly do you want me? ❜

❛ i can’t get enough of you. ❜

❛ i’ve never done something like this before. ❜

❛ i like being close to you. you’re warm. ❜

❛ you look good like this. ❜

❛ you look like you were jealous. ❜

❛ i’m not jealous. ❜

❛ shh. there’s people in the other room. ❜

❛ say you want me, and i’m yours. ❜ 

❛ i won’t bite. unless you’re into that sort of thing. ❜

❛ i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know. ❜

❛ would you like to go somewhere a little more private? ❜

❛ i’ll take care of you. ❜

❛ there’s so many things i wanna do to you. ❜

❛ take off your clothes. ❜

❛ i’m going to ruin you. ❜

❛ show me how much you missed me. ❜

❛ is this okay? ❜

❛ you know you love me. ❜

❛ i want you to feel good. ❜

❛ i want this. ❜

❛ come back to bed. ❜

❛ you’re such a tease. ❜

❛ want me to model these for you? ❜

❛ we have to make this quick. ❜

❛ what are you looking at? ❜

❛ it’s hot when you talk back. ❜

❛ you don’t have to be gentle. i won’t break. ❜

❛ don’t you know what you’re doing to me? ❜

❛ i really want to kiss you right now. ❜

❛ it’s okay, you can touch me. ❜

❛ this is a one time thing. ❜

❛ you know where to find me. ❜

❛ did i say you could stop? ❜

❛ you’re soaked. let me grab you a towel. ❜

❛ i want to see you. ❜

❛ are you wearing my shirt? ❜

❛ no ones here. we can be as loud as we want. ❜

❛ you look good with my hands around your throat. ❜

❛ i’ll be good, i promise. ❜

❛ you’re really good at that. ❜

❛ shut up and kiss me already. ❜

❛ you better watch your fucking mouth. ❜

❛ don’t mind me. just enjoying the view. ❜

❛ tell me what you want. ❜

❛ you can be rough. i can take it. ❜

❛ and where do you think you’re going? ❜

❛ if you called just to get off on my voice, i’m hanging up. ❜

❛ i shouldn’t allow myself to get this close to you. ❜

❛ what if i hurt you? ❜

❛ you won’t hurt me. ❜