Partner: Darling I Probably Smell Like Sweat And Grease, You Dont Have To Hug Me

Partner: “Darling i probably smell like sweat and grease, you don’t have to hug me”

Me, squeezing her tighter and kissing her forehead: “🥺 but I didn’t get to see you hardly at all today, I missed you”

Me: [walks out of the bathroom, noting a void of smoke]

> smells it like a goddamn idiot

> "who's vape cloud? It’s so thick-"

> realizes it's not a regular vape

"that's not a vape it's WEED"

(While CPII was playing Yakuza 4 and discovered a dead body)

Ghostie: “Do you know what the Yakuza do?!”

Me: “Do not engage the autistic man in his gay-ass hyperfixiation, you will not win that fight”

CPII: *Obscure giggling*

“You walk quietly,” she says, not looking up from her phone.

“I had never noticed it before. It’s just habit I guess.” I shrug, not expecting her observation.

“It’s not a bad thing, I just noticed you don’t make a lot of noise when you walk. I didn’t hear you coming from the kitchen.” She takes a handful of pretzels from the bowl in my hands.

I knew I walked quietly, I just hadn’t ever noticed myself doing it without thinking before. I learned very quickly very young how to go unnoticed. Some of it was because I was up to general mischief as a little kid; some of it was because I remember how angry my parents would be if I got up in the middle of the night for a sip of water and I creaked the wrong floorboard. Now that I’m older and don’t really worry about either of those things. I don’t think about them often.

I learned which types of flooring made the loudest noises, where the creaks in the floorboards were, where the tiles echoed the loudest in the house. I learned to walk on my toes with my heels off the ground, like I was wearing invisible high-heels. I learned when exactly my dad stopped playing video games at night and when my mother would leave the living room for the night. I learned to be a silent walker not because I wanted to, but because I felt like my only option was to stay under my parent’s radar at all times.

I still was silently, without noticing it.

Me, watching a cutscene of ichiban getting out of jail: “where’s the scruff?”

CPII: “his scruff is gone”

Me, panicking for Ichiban: “HE’S SCRUFFLESS?!”

CPII, during a sleep deprived game of scrabble: “I hope you choke on [partner’s] uvula”

Me, loopy af at 5am, thinking about it: “how the FUCK do I do that?”

CPII: “You THOUGHT ABOUT IT?”