CPII, During A Sleep Deprived Game Of Scrabble: I Hope You Choke On [partners] Uvula

CPII, during a sleep deprived game of scrabble: “I hope you choke on [partner’s] uvula”

Me, loopy af at 5am, thinking about it: “how the FUCK do I do that?”

CPII: “You THOUGHT ABOUT IT?”

Me: “[partner] why are ALL of the trays in the lobby?”

Partner: “don’t look at me look at Nate!”

Me, turning to Nate with a stack load of trays: “well, NATE?”

Nate: “in my defense [partner] was the one working the front counter—“

Partner: “darling you haven’t even clocked in yet…”

J’s mom: “Martial arguments off the clock lovebirds”

Me, looking at my partner: “she call us LoooOooOve birds :} ”

Partner: “Darling don’t ever draw out the word lovebirds like that again 🫥”

Me, under my breathe: “I’m gonna kiss you”

Partner: “what was that?”

Me: “nothing :)” [skipping away to go clock in]

Me: “I can’t scroll to the beginning fast enough!!”

Ghostie, looking away: “beginning of your smut?”

Me: “no, text messages from when [partner] and I met”

Ghostie: “same thing-“

Me: “Contrary to popular belief I don’t sext, Ghostie.”

Something I’ll never forget is when my partner and I first started dating; Ghostie and I came by after her shift was over (she closes where we work) and while sitting in the backseat with her my tics begin to do their thing. One of my not so common tics is kind of like an arm flinging type thing. It’s not too violent of anything but you deff don’t wanna be next to me when it happens. She had known I had tics before we started dating, but wasn’t all too well versed about it.

She holds my hand and goes “you can control it I believe in you” in the most encouraging voice ever. Before I I can respond my arm responds for me and flings out to my side. Ghostie and I are laughing because my partner was trying (and failing) to hold my hand before realizing “oh, never mind” 🤣🤣🤣

“You walk quietly,” she says, not looking up from her phone.

“I had never noticed it before. It’s just habit I guess.” I shrug, not expecting her observation.

“It’s not a bad thing, I just noticed you don’t make a lot of noise when you walk. I didn’t hear you coming from the kitchen.” She takes a handful of pretzels from the bowl in my hands.

I knew I walked quietly, I just hadn’t ever noticed myself doing it without thinking before. I learned very quickly very young how to go unnoticed. Some of it was because I was up to general mischief as a little kid; some of it was because I remember how angry my parents would be if I got up in the middle of the night for a sip of water and I creaked the wrong floorboard. Now that I’m older and don’t really worry about either of those things. I don’t think about them often.

I learned which types of flooring made the loudest noises, where the creaks in the floorboards were, where the tiles echoed the loudest in the house. I learned to walk on my toes with my heels off the ground, like I was wearing invisible high-heels. I learned when exactly my dad stopped playing video games at night and when my mother would leave the living room for the night. I learned to be a silent walker not because I wanted to, but because I felt like my only option was to stay under my parent’s radar at all times.

I still was silently, without noticing it.

“It’s not my fault you sleep all fucking day, I didn’t know you were asleep. A text would have been nice, you know. You slept for 12 hours straight. In what world do you need that much sleep?”

You’re right, let me just [sleep texts you I won’t be awake until 3 pm]

I sleep because if I’m not awake I’m dreaming of a kinder place without having to hurt anyone.