Lowering Defenses

Lowering Defenses

In the ruins of trust, walls rise tall,

Each betrayal a brick, each one a call.

Layer upon layer, they tower high,

A fortress of pain against the sky.

Each brick laid with sorrow's hand,

A testament to where I stand.

For every trust betrayed, a wound so deep,

Leaving scars that never sleep.

With each betrayal, the walls grow thick,

A shield against love's cruel trick.

But oh, the weight, the burden they bear,

As I hide behind walls of despair.

For in the darkness, I find my solace,

Protected from love's relentless malice.

But with every brick, a piece of me dies,

As I surrender to betrayal's cries.

Yet still, a whisper, a flicker of light,

Beckons me from the depths of night.

For though trust may falter, hope remains,

To tear down walls and break free from chains.

So I'll gather the strength to face the pain,

To tear down walls built in vain.

For though trust may be fragile, it's worth the cost,

To rebuild the bridges that betrayal has lost.

As we mature, we not only grow older, but we also grow wiser, stronger, and more resilient— transforming life's challenges into stepping stones towards our true potential.

Sanctuary Lost

“Go to church,” they said. “It will be fun,” they said. Well, guess what? I went for a while, and what a circus it turned out to be: creepy men practically stalking me, others desperate to marry me after a mere hello, abusive individuals, and a complete disregard for boundaries. Instead of making genuine connections, I found myself surrounded by people with malicious intentions. The women, who were supposed to be my friends, were quick to judge and ostracize me for simply wanting to look “pretty.” The constant gossip and rumors were suffocating. I'm tired of being around hypocrites. My faith in God remains solid, but the church environment is a breeding ground for toxicity. I want no part of it. I'll worship on my own terms, away from the drama and toxicity of those four walls.

As a child, I always felt different. While my peers reveled in the simplicity of childhood, I found myself lost in the maze of my own thoughts. Each day brought with it a new puzzle to unravel, a new mystery to ponder. Little did I know, I was on the cusp of discovering my true nature as both an overthinker and a philosopher.

It began innocently enough, with simple questions that danced on the edges of my consciousness. Why is the sky blue? What lies beyond the stars? But as I delved deeper into the recesses of my mind, I found myself grappling with questions far beyond the scope of my years.

It was on a crisp autumn day, with the leaves crunching beneath my feet, that I first realized the extent of my overactive mind. While my classmates laughed and played, I sat beneath the shade of an old oak tree, lost in thought. Questions swirled around me like leaves caught in a whirlwind—questions about existence and the meaning of life.

As I grew older, my thirst for understanding intensified. I grappled with existential questions that seemed to have no answers. What is reality? Is there a God? Does free will truly exist, or are we all merely pawns in a cosmic game of chance? These questions consumed me, driving me to the brink of madness in my search for understanding. While my peers were content to accept the world at face value, I dared to challenge the status quo, to push the boundaries of what was deemed possible.

My fascination with the mysteries of the universe deepened. My mind became a garden of ideas, each one more vibrant and complex than the last. I basked in the beauty of thought, exploring the depths of philosophy with the innocence of a child and the curiosity of a sage. While others spent their days in pursuit of temporary pleasures, I sought something deeper, something more profound.

At first, I reveled in the challenge, relishing the opportunity to unravel the mysteries that lay hidden beneath the surface of reality. But as time passed, I began to feel the weight of my own thoughts bearing down upon me like a burden too heavy to bear. What if I was wrong? What if I never found the answers I sought?

Unfortunately, with the gift of insight came the burden of overthinking. I became acutely aware of the fragility of existence, the ephemeral nature of time, and the vastness of the unknown. Doubt crept into my mind like a thief in the night, casting shadows upon even the brightest of ideas. Every thought became a rabbit hole, leading me deeper and deeper into the recesses of my own mind.

Nonetheless, I never lost sight of the wisdom I had gained in my youth. For even as the world changed around me, I remained steadfast in my quest for understanding, knowing that in the end, it is not the answers themselves that matter, but the questions we dare to ask.

And so, I continue to journey through life, a philosopher in search of truth amidst the ever-shifting sands of existence. For though the path may be long and the road ahead uncertain, I walk forward with a sense of purpose, knowing that in the pursuit of knowledge lies the true essence of what it means to be human.

Loving deeply is both a gift and a burden. I desire to reciprocate the way you treat me, but my love for you prevents me from ever hurting you in that way.

From Siren to Self-Discovery

Once upon a time, amidst the stormy waves of heartbreak, there was a woman whose pain transformed her into a siren, luring unsuspecting men with her captivating charm only to leave devastation in her wake. She reveled in the power she held over them, feeding on their affection as compensation for her own wounds.

But deep within her tempestuous heart, a flicker of remorse lingered. Each shattered heart she left behind weighed heavily on her soul, a reminder of the pain she had once endured herself. In the echo of her haunting melodies, she heard the cries of those she had ensnared, their brokenness mirroring her own.

One fateful night, as she stood upon the rocky shores, her siren's call pierced the silence of the sea. Yet, this time, something was different. Among the cacophony of crashing waves, a voice reached her, not with adoration, but with understanding.

A lone sailor, weathered by the storms of life, approached her, his gaze unwavering. He spoke not of desire, but of empathy, sharing his own tale of heartache and healing. In his words, she found a reflection of her own journey, a glimmer of hope amidst the wreckage of her past.

With each passing day, the siren's song grew quieter, drowned out by the warmth of genuine connection. She embarked on a voyage of self-discovery, learning to navigate the turbulent seas of her emotions with grace and resilience. No longer content to drown others in her sorrow, she sought redemption in building healthy, nurturing relationships.

And so, the once-mighty siren transformed into a beam of light, guiding others through the darkness with her newfound wisdom. Though the scars of her past remained, they served as a testament to her strength and resilience. For in embracing her own vulnerability, she discovered the true power of love – not as a weapon of destruction, but as a force of healing and renewal.