PSA - I Don't Know Why I Am Surprised I Have To Say This.

PSA - I don't know why I am surprised I have to say this.

If you are here getting your jollies to my trauma, you are on the wrong blog. This is not a power dynamic kink or an excercise in sub/dom. This is not sexy, and if you are in any way aroused by anything I'm writing you are not welcome here.

I try not to yuck people's yums, but i have absolutely no respect for nonconsensual or exploitative use of my experiences. Particularly some of the shittiest moments of my life.

Clear off, creeps.

Amazing.

He’s calling again.

My trainer, who I should probably just refer to as my friend, asked me during our last session what it would take for me to get police involvement.

She made me set a boundary.  So here it is, and you can all call me on it:

If he shows up somewhere I’m at again and I have even a hint that it’s anything other than a wild coincidence, I’ll be pursuing a restraining order through the family court system.

It’ll be 16 weeks no contact on Wednesday.

Update : John and Jane are no longer together. I know because I do their taxes.

He said this to me while he had me pinned to the bed by my throat and his knee in my my stomach. It was after he had shaken and thrown me onto the bed. He had spitscreamed in my face that I was a useless cunt because I was not making enough money.

He idolized John and Jane's relationship mostly, I think, because Jane bought John a few neat gifts.

Rumour has it John did try to keep Jane in line in the same way I was. And Jane found an outlet similar to mine to deal.

I saw her yesterday. I wanted to say something. I didn't.

“What? You think John* hasn’t ever had to keep Jane* in line? You think I’m the only one who does this?”

* a couples friend of ours. Names changed.

Scraps

This has been sitting in my drafts for 4 months.

I was going to post it because it made me feel vindicated at the time. He would have just come home from a vacation with another woman.  The one where I paid approximately 65% of the costs.  

Clearly there was literally trouble in paradise, and the satisfaction that he was "gushing” about me and not her was immense.  Something prevented me from hitting post on it though.

Fast forward through the subsequent months of bullshit I have endured and I can see through all the backhanded compliments.

He just wanted to soften me up enough to agree to come fuck and do his dishes.  

I have my group therapy intake tonight. I'm feeling sick.