Im Gone - Tumblr Posts

Approximately 24 hours out from discovery and I can talk about it a little. There were two things I felt in particular that I was ashamed of:

Jealousy - this lasted for no more than 5 seconds, but it was still the first one I felt. Can you really hate someone if you're jealous of the person they're with, however fleeting that emotion is?

Doubt in my own experience - it hits so subtly, but like a freight train at the same time. If she likes him and wants to marry him, he can't be that bad, right? Was everything I felt and experienced real? Or was it al in my head? Did I invent it all to justify being a bad person?

It's been seven years, and I still don't trust my own brain.

He's getting married to someone I am about 3 or 4 degrees of separation from (depending on your definition).

It's not a full spiral, but there's definitely some things I need to talk to my therapist about. Some emotions that ranged from mild and controlled to shameful.

But generally, I think I'm doing ok. I'm currently eating my feelings at nearly 3am, but I've had worse nights.

HOW DARE YOU DO THIS /pos

Changed.

"The more things change, the more they stay the same" Les Guêpes (1849) by Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr

Not his war horse dressed on the Duchess reins to show that even after the change the horse still acts the same, that still under the red eyes still lives the same good friend that Marius knew, that even changed he's still the same after all, don't touch me-

I’m so sorry I just called Jade Jade Floyd. Like Floyd is his last name. im a fake twst fan im gone

For the february filth fest!! I have some ideass<3

#cnc, breeding with Jungkook

#daddy's pet Or roleplay with seongcheol

Also I love your posts 🦾😭

FEBRUARY FILTH FEST | 💭 cheol + daddy's pet ! (MIX OF A LIL TRACK 10=hate fucking + TRACK 21=overstimulation) - (MDNI !!)

— ‧₊˚ — ♟️ : "all the jewelry that's your fucking leash, i can always pull you back on.” ??

notes. AAAAH thank you for reading my shit, asking and the sweet cmt <3<3 is it febuary yet? No. Do i wanna let anon down? No. Is it rly fawking fun? Yeah, so it's coming out today. 😝 if you're looking for more pet play with cheol: GOOD GIRL I TRAINED YOU TO BE. by me, is perfect for it 2!!

warnings/includes. (NSFW) mean dom! seungcheol x f! reader, hints at reader using cheol for money + trying to run away from him ? (i needed a reason to get him REAL mad sooo), spanking, degrading, overstimulation, unprotected sex, a drabble so we're skipping RIGHT to it

"it's okay, i love you even though you're fucking greedy," the tone grunted out almost mocking, thick cock ramming in and out of you, veiny big hands occasionally landing on your reddened ass, "i love you even though you wanna take everything from me"

slowing down for just a minute like studying your messed up face, "that's right, i'm buying out your pussy" till speeding up once more, pounding into you furiously, "you don't think i know exactly what country you think of running of to? you don't think i have people, ready to catch you and return you to your rightful place, sitting right on my lap?"

whenever you tried looking away from his demanding gaze (which was definitely trying to eat you alive), he'd force you to look at him, making you feel pathetic, incredibly small + irrelevant - "why couldn't you just be my good pet? no, you had to be fucking greedy, you could've just asked me, i could've given you the fucking money cause you now what? it doesn't fucking matter to me"

you didn't know if you even heard him anymore, the sounds of wet fast pounding echoiching through your ears and brain as your own body betrayed you, pushing itself forward, yearning almost like aching to him which he'd just meanly laugh at, "it's okay, y'know tommorow when your legs don't work, when you can't even fucking walk, y'know who's gonna be taking care of you? cause you don't know what to do without my damn instructions, don't you?"

it was an endless cycle, of loads and loads of cum, to the point where you could feel it everywhere on your body and him riding out every orgasm, shamelessly continuing after, the flesh on your ass feeling so sensitive and raw that it almost hurt.

"all the jewelry that's your fucking leash, i can always pull you back on cause you're my pet, you need me to feed you, take care of you, fuckin-" he cut of himself groaning when your pussy clenched around him out of sheer response, "breed you, you fucking need me"

HAN JOO WON HAS REALLY BEEN OUT HERE ACCUSING LEE DONG SHIK OF KILLING HIS SISTER WHEN [redacted][redacted][redacted][redacted] AND [redacted][redacted]

BRUH OH MY–

Honestly? Can't even be mad at Moon-jo... cause I mean...if someone looked at me like this:

I'd also become their tool for murder

DID THIS JUST HAPPEN???? DID THIS SERIOUSLY JUSR FÜCKING HAPPEN???

I AM UNABKE TO FUNCTION. LIKE AT ALL.

ME RN: 😧😧

Fuckin' school starts back again tomorrow 😭 I am not mentally prepared for this- Although,on the upside,I get I see my friends again! They are the reason I haven't currently disintegrated so I don't need to go to school. I'm gonna pass away- I have yet to physically prepare either,and I also will need to do the second phase of an art program test. I can't fuckin draw on paper anymore. Those skills deteriorated while my digital skill increased. Help-

I CAN’T B R E A T H E LOOK AT HOTSHOT, DO YOU S E E THAT DRESS AND LIPSTICK, I’M- 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

KIM SEOKJIN └ BTS WORLD TOUR ’LOVE YOURSELF: SPEAK YOURSELF’

[brain in blender] ↳favourite jimin looks (12/∞) (cr. @/jung-koook)

+ one more because why not

🔥🔥🔥

MASTERPIECE (2023)

MISAMO

SO IT HAS FINALLY COME TO THIS!

The episode I have been working up to for 5 years…. Y’all aren’t ready like I was back then. So enjoy? >:’3

Embarrassed Xiumin staring meme;

hopefully no one has done this yet.

not to set feminism back 40 years but maybe manspreading ISNT that bad

@mooninjstin

so I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my female presenting nipples…

Rain or Shine Cafe (Teaser)

Ⱄ pairing: kwon soonyoung x f!reader Ⱄ wordcount: ~10k or less (this teaser: 2.6k) Ⱄ genre: fluff, cafe coworkers au, suggestive

Ⱄ reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated ♡! tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, and they help writers like me to get better reach. thank you!

Ⱄ summary: with no umbrella in hand on a rainy day, you felt like your life couldn’t get any worse. losing your glasses while it’s pouring cats and dogs, well maybe your life really was the worst. thankfully a faceless stranger was there to pick up your glasses and hand you his umbrella. you weren’t able to ever thank him for his act of kindness, but the sweet memory stays with you for awhile. soonyoung was in need of a new job and on the first day of his interview he stumbles across a blind stranger with no umbrella, and no glasses. he didn’t think too much about the stranger then, not until his first day of work at Rain or Shine Cafe.

Ⱄ tags/warnings: cafe coworkers!soonyoung and reader, dancer!soonyoung, reader wears glasses, set in vancouver canada, they develop feelings quickly, reader is a little type a, mentions of other svt members, mentions of alcohol, hoshi tiger agenda is very present (more tags when the actual fic is posted)

Ⱄ note: this is a teaser for my fic for the @svthub world tour collab!! thank you to the admins who are sosoosoooo creative because i love this concept sm!! i hope you all look forward to this fic because i adore their little love story sm ♡. if you want to be tagged when the fic is posted please leave a comment or send me an ask! (ps: teaser is not that edited so sorry in advanced) - see you soonest, anna ♡.

Today was one of those days. The birds don’t sing at your wake, the sun doesn’t shine as bright. You weren’t sure what had been the catalyst to such a terrible day; maybe it was forgetting your umbrella, or losing your glasses under the gloomy sky, or the rain that pitter-pattered against the pavement and mocked your misfortune.

It wasn’t until a faceless stranger entered your blurred field of vision, offering their umbrella and picking up your glasses. Before you could even thank them for their help, they whisked away so quickly it was like they were a figment of your imagination. 

That small kind gesture had stuck with you for days, wondering if you would ever be able to meet them again. You desperately wished you were able to see what they looked like, but from the softness of their voice, to their gentle touch, you had a feeling that their personality is just the same. 

˚∗˖⁺⑅ ˖⁺⑅˖◛

Working a shift at Rain or Shine Cafe is always the highlight of your day, especially after spending so many hectic hours at your university. The cafe was always serene, the customers were kind, and you liked how calming it would get once the Vancouver rain started to pour in. The droplets hitting the glass windows in a rhythmic pattern that could probably put you to sleep if you allow. 

Rain or shine cafe was like your little safe haven from the busy city and university town. Working the evenings while your boss, Seokmin, would cover the mornings. It definitely was a little bit complicated with only the two of you, but you didn’t mind. You liked being the only person during your shift, it meant that you were practically your own boss. 

It wasn’t until the day that Seokmin decided it was time for a new hire, your safe space seemingly turned upside down. 

“Y/n, I’ve hired a new person, you’ll have to train them okay?” Seokmin informs you the moment you clock in. 

Giving him a defeated sigh, you knew it was time for a new coworker to join you. Although you hate the idea, you felt bad at how hard Seokmin works in the mornings, and on the rare occasions when you’re sick, evenings as well. 

“I don’t know Seokmin… are you sure I should be the one training them?” your tone wavers, if anything the owner would be able to do a better job than you at the training the new hire. 

“What! You’ll do great, you’re my best employee after all,” he gives you a reassuring pat on your shoulder. 

With furrowed brows, your eyes bore holes into his back as he heads back to his office. 

“I’m your only employee!” you shout back while he can still hear you. 

The idea of having to train a new person after spending so much time finding your own rhythm while working at the cafe doesn’t particularly thrill you. With many many prayers to the universe, you just hope they aren’t a pain in the ass to deal with. 

˚∗˖⁺⑅ ˖⁺⑅˖◛

Soonyoung wasn’t sure what to expect on his first day, and he was especially nervous because he’s never worked at a cafe before. Although his coordination is great when it comes to dancing, he isn’t so confident in his coffee making skills. 

The moment he walked through the door, he saw your face shining against the afternoon sun, his heart beating so fast he thought he might have to go to the doctor for a serious case of heart palpitations. He can’t help but curse at himself silently, knowing that he was going to be extra nervous because of his extremely pretty coworker. 

As he approaches you he starts to feel a sense of familiarity bubbling at the bottom of his stomach. Wondering if he’s seen you around before, but he quickly scratches that idea knowing that there's millions of people living in the Greater Vancouver area. 

Clearing his throat he tries to get your attention as you delicately refill the pastry shelf with almond croissants and bagels. Your eyes turn towards the figure in front of the counter, assuming it’s another student from the university wanting to order. 

“U-uh hi,” Soonyoung blurts out, his pillowy cheeks turning red under your gaze. 

“Hi, what can I get for you?” you ask him, trying to ignore the awkwardness between you two. 

“Oh! I-I’m not here to order, I’m the new hire?” He tries to explain, but you can tell he feels a little unsure about being here at the cafe. 

“Oh. Soonyoung right?” 

“Yeah, that’s me, but uh- you can call me Hoshi,” he chuckles, scratching the back of his head. 

The words ‘play it cool’ keep repeating in his mind as he continues to talk to you, not wanting to make a bad first impression with his gorgeous new coworker. 

“Ah, I see, Hoshi,” you say apprehensively while nodding your head, yeah i’m not calling him that, you think to yourself. 

Seokmin told you that the new hire would be coming in for his first shift today, but he didn’t mention anything other than that. 

From first glance Soonyoung wasn’t the type of person you expected Seokmin to hire. His dark clothing, bright blond hair and piercings along his ears didn’t scream “barista”. The aura around him screamed men’s fashion influencer just from the way he dresses. Although his clothes were casual you could tell there was still thought put into his outfit, from the baggy dark wash jeans to his graphic tee and earrings. 

“How about you come around the counter and clock in so we can get started,” you add as you finish placing the pastries into the display shelf. 

Scratching the back of his head he walks over only to hover behind you, a meek expression washes over his face. 

You turn to him with a quizzical eyebrow, not sure as to why he’s just standing there like a lost child in a supermarket. 

“H-how exactly do you clock in?” Soonyoung mumbles while twiddling his thumbs. 

“Seokmin didn’t show you where to clock in?” You question him. 

There was a part of you that has a feeling that you might have to teach him every little thing around the cafe. When Seokmin told you the new hire was coming in today, you were hoping that they would at least have a little bit of background knowledge. 

“U-uh no he pretty much hired me on the spot and told me to come in today,” he mutters, feeling a little embarrassed by your judgement, “this is actually my first job ever.” 

“Ever?” 

“Yeah, so I’m not sure why he even hired me, but I needed a job so I didn’t turn it down,” he continues, the blush on his soft cheeks becoming more apparent. 

You sigh deeply, this shift is going to feel a lot longer than you initially thought. Knowing it’s his first job means that you’ll have to train him a little slower. As you walk to show him where to clock in you silently pray that he’s a fast learner. 

Soonyoung can tell that you’re not excited to train him, and he feels bad that he doesn’t have the experience to be good at his job right away. But he’s determined to learn quickly, not wanting to disappoint you or Seokmin. 

He spent most of his time in university being able to pay for his expenses from his dance scholarship and the little money he was given from his parents, but unfortunately it wasn’t enough to fund his trip for him and his dance troupe’s upcoming competition. 

They had entered a national competition taking place in Seattle and although the commute is only a two hour road trip, there were so many other fees that he couldn’t afford unless he found a way to earn money. Plus if he wanted to fund both his dance trip and tiger collection, it was either he get a job near his school or he would have to resort to selling feet pics online. But getting a job at the cafe seemed like the safer and more logical option. 

“Well now that you’ve clocked in, this is your apron and the tag that Seokmin made you,” you inform him while handing him his things. 

Soonyoung doesn’t say a word, only nodding while listening to you explain how everything works at the cafe. 

“First we need you to learn all the drinks that we serve,” you explain, pushing the double doors that lead back to the main room of the building. 

“Okay, I can do that, it can’t be that hard right?”  Hoshi shrugs, trying his best to act nonchalant to mask his nervousness. 

…

“Wait-No! That’s wrong,” your voice raises in panic as you watch Soonyoung put a fresh shot of espresso into the plastic to-go cup. 

Freezing, his eyes go wide as his mouth forms an ‘O’ shape as you start to scramble with panic. The plastic starting to shrivel from the heat of the coffee. 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know it would melt!” he exclaims, pouring the contents into the sink. 

It had been an hour of teaching Soonyoung how to make the drinks that were on the cafe menu, and he had somehow made a mistake every single step of the way. Thankfully today is a slower day in the cafe, allowing Soonyoung to observe your routine on serving customers. 

“It’s fine, how about we take a break and I'll show you how to use the oven to heat the pastries,” you sigh with defeat. 

Soonyoung’s face drops a little because he knows that he’s disappointed you. He wishes that he was good at his job the same way he is with dancing but his naturally good coordination and reflexes can only take him so far. 

“If a customer asks for a pastry they can have the option for them to be toasted in the oven, you just need to use the tongs and place them onto the rack,” you explain, demonstrating the steps that you would usually take, “then you don’t want to set the timer for more than twenty seconds or it’ll burn.” 

Soonyoung nods along, trying to follow your instructions closely, but he can’t help get distracted by your features. Your hair tied up, glasses perched on your nose as you try to concentrate. He knows that it’s important to pay attention but he can’t help but feel attracted to you. There was a certain familiarity to you that he couldn’t seem to pinpoint. He hasn’t felt like this about someone he just met ever, and it’s not helping that you’re the one teaching him how to do his job properly. 

If he could stare at you during his whole shift instead of actually working, he would. 

“Does everything make sense so far?” you pull him out of his thoughts, staring at him expectantly. 

“Yeah, the pastry stuff seems like the most simple thing so far,” he comments, watching you put the croissant into a bag to eat after you’re off work. 

“How about we go back to making more test drinks? Just so you can get the hang of it,” you offer, wanting him to get more practice just in case it’s a busy day the next time he comes in for a shift. 

“Sure, you’re a great teacher by the way, I’m just new to all this,” he comforts you. 

“Thanks, and don’t worry too much, you’ll get better with time,” you pat his shoulder. 

You give him a smile of gratitude. The past few hours had you doubting your knowledge, patience, and teaching skills all at the same time. But his words of reassurance make you feel him warm inside. 

The way Soonyoung’s cheeks puff as he smiles makes you giggle. There was something about his soft features that makes him so endearing, which makes you feel a little bad for raising your voice at him earlier while he was trying to learn. 

Sure, he’s not the smartest when it comes to working at a cafe, but you have faith that he’ll be able to learn as time goes by. From the looks of it, Soonyoung seems determined to do better, that or he’s faking it. Either way, you owe it to Seokmin to show him everything you know.

Ⱄ a/n: i hope you enjoyed the teaser!! lmk what you think :)

liev: april 2018 / december 2019