I Was Trying To Sweeten This Piece By Explains My Thought Process First, But I Thought I Should Just

I was trying to sweeten this piece by explains my thought process first, but I thought I should just be honest with you guys. I think Jaskier is a giant Witcher nerd.

Let me explain why I think so, and it’s because that young, fresh pubescent boy who named himself Jaskier looked at this spooky and scary Witcher and said you. you are the chosen one. And followed that rat around for what, twenty something years? Like I understand some people can pick up something that’s old and dusty and just get on with it, but I also think that you should have some knowledge of what you’re getting into.

Jaskier sees Geralt sitting in the bar and Its immediate that he knows this man is a Witcher. He tries getting the man to talk to him, to maybe say he’s a Witcher but when that doesn’t work, he points it out and well, the guy doesn’t disagree.

Explaining more of my point, is that Witchers (mainly Geralt) were hated, because of how they did things, they were mutated, and Geralt with the blaviken thing, so why does this tiny boy come up to him and then stick to him like glue, y’know? Jaskier totally did his research, and totally knew what Witchers were. He knew almost (<-key word) exactly what he was getting into when he stuck to Geralt, and after the Elven accident, he has a better understand of what’s gonna go down with his life next to this man, and fixes some of his beliefs on Witchers.

I think it’s also a reason why he wants to make Geralt famous, because when he first studied them, maybe (most) facts were wrong about Witchers, so he wants people to understand them better than what they had before. All in all, I think Jaskier knows exactly who Geralt is, has been trying to reach out to the other Witchers that roam the rock, and is actually pretty excited about learning more about Witchers.

so i'm bored and a biochemist and decided to tackle the "witchers can smell arousal" thing lmao

"but but but! it would just smell like sex!" No! Boring. I imagine this to be like cadaver dogs able to pick out cadaverine specifically and not just smelling death

so I decided that it would be the amino acid l-citrulline. this is a naturally occuring amino acid that DOES act on arousal in humans- both in creating physical changes (like directing bloodflow) and neurochemically (ie emotionally... though to a lesser effect than other neurochemicals involved in sex)

"But what does l-citrulline smell like" you may find yourself asking! don't know! I'm a measly human and cannot smell a chemical

HOWEVER considering witchers aren't like trained to identify specific chemical scents, they wouldn't know either! "so how is this helpful" you're asking yourself!

L-citrulline is found in high quantities in watermelon. (the latin name for watermelon is where l-citrulline get's it's name!) So the witchers would smell arousal and smell watermelon and therefore associate the two with each other

TL;DR arousal would smell like watermelon to witchers

I was trying to sweeten this piece by explains my thought process first, but I thought I should just be honest with you guys. I think Jaskier is a giant Witcher nerd.

Let me explain why I think so, and it’s because that young, fresh pubescent boy who named himself Jaskier looked at this spooky and scary Witcher and said you. you are the chosen one. And followed that rat around for what, twenty something years? Like I understand some people can pick up something that’s old and dusty and just get on with it, but I also think that you should have some knowledge of what you’re getting into.

Jaskier sees Geralt sitting in the bar and Its immediate that he knows this man is a Witcher. He tries getting the man to talk to him, to maybe say he’s a Witcher but when that doesn’t work, he points it out and well, the guy doesn’t disagree.

Explaining more of my point, is that Witchers (mainly Geralt) were hated, because of how they did things, they were mutated, and Geralt with the blaviken thing, so why does this tiny boy come up to him and then stick to him like glue, y’know? Jaskier totally did his research, and totally knew what Witchers were. He knew almost (<-key word) exactly what he was getting into when he stuck to Geralt, and after the Elven accident, he has a better understand of what’s gonna go down with his life next to this man, and fixes some of his beliefs on Witchers.

I think it’s also a reason why he wants to make Geralt famous, because when he first studied them, maybe (most) facts were wrong about Witchers, so he wants people to understand them better than what they had before. All in all, I think Jaskier knows exactly who Geralt is, has been trying to reach out to the other Witchers that roam the rock, and is actually pretty excited about learning more about Witchers.

It’s called fashion, look it up. 

So I’m a big fan of transformers, the movies are amazing, the action is killer, I hyper-fixate every time I watch the movies.

So I brought you all hear for an au idea, Transformers and the Witcher. At first? I thought of Optimus Prime being like Vesemir, and the rest like the wolves. Be hella cool. But hear me out okay?

Geralt is the guy who contacts the first Atuobots, and her name is Roach. I do want to stick to Optimus Prime being like Vesemir because I think that would be really cool.

Maybe some backstory is Geralt, Eskel and Lambert run a car shop, all three end up meeting Roach. We also get to meet Scorpion who takes Eskel’s side, and then Storm, who’s stubborn enough to take Lambert.

I do want Yennefer, Ciri and Jaskier to be there. Yennefer is a federal Agent who works with the Autobots, getting top secret files to the next big guy, her and Geralt had a fling a while back but decided to keep it friendly. Ciri is Geralt’s goddaughter, who stays with Geralt, Eskel and Lambert along with Roach, Scorpian and Storm, trust me they all swore to keep that kid safe no mater what. Jaskier? Jaskier is Yennefer’s partner. New and young, good with words and good with getting them into situations Yennefer wants.

Jaskier’s first meeting with Geralt, his brothers and the transformers, goes pleasently well. Scorpian loves him, he’s funny, Storm doesn’t like him and Roach doesn’t seem to care. What they don’t know, and soon figure out, is that Jaskier first found Prime and that even though Prime drives mostly himself, he has a soft spot for Jaskier. It’s funny because when they first meet, Jaskier pats the hood and smiles, saying “he likes to be called Vesemir” Geralt, Eskel and Lambert have a new appreciation towards Jaksier, the cars opinions doesn’t change but Roach learns to warm up to him.

During this time, Jaskier and Geralt warm up to each other nicely ;) dates and possibly a little more, but they are absolutely badass working together with the Autobots. I think it’s a silly but cute idea, and I’m absolutely going to forever think about this idea.

Modern AU where Geralt is ex FBI and runs a true crime podcast with his overly exuberant and terribly dark humored husband Jaskier with expert guest forensic pathologist Yennefer and the occasional appearance from his brother Eskel who is 100% a believer in aliens and government cover ups.

They once recorded the conversations at Thanksgiving dinner and just posted it unedited.

Fans want to hear more from Vessimir, but only on the topic of how pretentious Geralt was as a child.

No one knew Jask and Geralt were married til season 5 when Jask says 'babe' (which is common bc he's just constantly over affectionate) and Geralt responds with 'darling' and the fans go buck wild.

They post a little 5 minute montage of wedding photos/clips in response to all the questions with the caption "no shit Sherlock?" Bc Geralt thought it was obvious.

They actually end up solving a cold case one time and Lambert is SO annoyed with the attention they're getting and the smug looks Jaskier gives him.

Meet and greets get wild. All the booze. They go WAY over time on any and all panels bc they're just so into it and Geralt wants to hear all the theories regardless of how stupid they are bc "its important in any investigation to think outside the box"

Geralt throwing Jask over his shoulder when he gets too excited (and angry) over a suspect in that one cold case he cannot stop thinking about.

Valdo runs a podcast himself that started true crime but morphed into roasting Jask and trying to prove their theories wrong. He doesn't upload for three months when they solved the cold case.

Geralt has a rant at least once every couple episodes on proper crime scene and evidence collecting procedure. He's sick of these lazy deputie's and officer's shit.

Jaskier cries often. Our boy is empathetic af and fans start sending kleenexes to the studio they record in. Pretty soon they have to tell people to stop bc there's just too many. They donate them to shelters and preschools.

They are asked for merch so they do tshirts and tank tops with images of blue latex gloves, evidence bags, and long tweezers with the text "don't be fucking lazy" and there's a couple different versions with names of shitty coroners (Fami Malik anyone?) or cops that threw entire cases by fucking up the chain of evidence.

Guys I could go on forever.