Witcher Lambert - Tumblr Posts

I’m playing dream daddy and I just got to the part where your dad argues with another dad to show who has the top kid, and I just gotta say, I’m digging the idea of Geralt shaping off Ciri with proud dad vibes.

I know in their universe, they really can’t just show Ciri off because uh. well, you get my point, but I really can’t get it out of my head that maybe one day while traveling, Jaskier and Ciri pull Geralt and roach over to a field right outside of town, other kids are picking flowers and are pretty scattered out, and they all are picking flowers. Ciri only brought Jaskier along for extra hands. Geralt watches as the two scout for nice flowers, enjoying his time. “Is that your kid?”

Geralt’s never been scared before, and knew the person was there, but it startled him when the man pointed at Ciri, a wanted child. Geralt straightened up and looked at the man. He was tiny, old and frail, nowhere near a Knight. He’s hunched over a little with a balding head and long white beard. The more shocking thing about him is he was completely calm.

“I remember when I first had my daughter,” he begins, and Geralt can’t help but feel... curious in a way. No, he doesn’t like sitting through stories, but if someone were on the outside of the village looking them, it really just looked like the man was talking to himself. “She was the light of my life, y’know. Always wanted a son, but after seeing her, I knew she was all I needed. Hah, now I got a grandchild.”

Geralt looks down at the mans hands that now cross over his chest and raises both eyebrows. He didn’t know Ciri when she was little, but connecting with her over the time they had together? He turns and faces the two who have began to count their flowers.

The old man stands there in silence for a moment more before leaning a little closer. “Y’know, my daughter has more flowers than yours.” Geralt pauses, before looking at the old man, who is oddly wearing the face of smug. Geralt squints slightly at the old man, before turning to Ciri and Jaskier and carefully counting. Why was he doing this? He doesn’t know ask someone else. “And she’s also good with not dropping all the flowers.”

It doesn’t help that while geralt was counting, Ciri totally drops one and doesn’t notice. Okay old man, if this is how it’s gonna be. He brings roach to the side, who has happily been feasting like a king (yeah I know she’s a ladie), he walks over to Ciri and Jaskier, carefully plucking flowers on the way. He looked for the best ones, no bent no broken flower for his surprise daughter. He looks up at the two as they stare at him with wide, happy eyes and straightens up. “With six pairs of hands, we should get even more than with just four.”

Later after Geralt, Jaskier and Ciri did he realize that maybe that old man was trying to get them closer or whatever.

So I’m a big fan of transformers, the movies are amazing, the action is killer, I hyper-fixate every time I watch the movies.

So I brought you all hear for an au idea, Transformers and the Witcher. At first? I thought of Optimus Prime being like Vesemir, and the rest like the wolves. Be hella cool. But hear me out okay?

Geralt is the guy who contacts the first Atuobots, and her name is Roach. I do want to stick to Optimus Prime being like Vesemir because I think that would be really cool.

Maybe some backstory is Geralt, Eskel and Lambert run a car shop, all three end up meeting Roach. We also get to meet Scorpion who takes Eskel’s side, and then Storm, who’s stubborn enough to take Lambert.

I do want Yennefer, Ciri and Jaskier to be there. Yennefer is a federal Agent who works with the Autobots, getting top secret files to the next big guy, her and Geralt had a fling a while back but decided to keep it friendly. Ciri is Geralt’s goddaughter, who stays with Geralt, Eskel and Lambert along with Roach, Scorpian and Storm, trust me they all swore to keep that kid safe no mater what. Jaskier? Jaskier is Yennefer’s partner. New and young, good with words and good with getting them into situations Yennefer wants.

Jaskier’s first meeting with Geralt, his brothers and the transformers, goes pleasently well. Scorpian loves him, he’s funny, Storm doesn’t like him and Roach doesn’t seem to care. What they don’t know, and soon figure out, is that Jaskier first found Prime and that even though Prime drives mostly himself, he has a soft spot for Jaskier. It’s funny because when they first meet, Jaskier pats the hood and smiles, saying “he likes to be called Vesemir” Geralt, Eskel and Lambert have a new appreciation towards Jaksier, the cars opinions doesn’t change but Roach learns to warm up to him.

During this time, Jaskier and Geralt warm up to each other nicely ;) dates and possibly a little more, but they are absolutely badass working together with the Autobots. I think it’s a silly but cute idea, and I’m absolutely going to forever think about this idea.

Imagining Geralt and Jaskier playing that egg game going around is really fucking funny to me. Not only does it get on both of their nerves, but I think they’d also be extremely competitive.

Jaskier is a little drunk, having a few bottles with Geralt will do that to you, and calls over the Witcher for a game, showing him a simple brown egg in his right hand, and a mug he took a while ago from some shitty inn. What he got was a slowly interested Witcher who sat down silently, as if to say ‘go on.’

Jaskier tells him the rules, how you lay the egg down, put the mug over it, and then slap your hand on top of the cup. Geralt thought it was strange, maybe some rich boy game Jaskier did when he was but a wee lad, and decided to give in. Once they started, it was just them tapping the top of the mug. It was stupid, Geralt was about ready to stop, until Jaskier picked up the cup.

Listen, Geralt likes planning. He’d say he’s considerably “neat”, he just didn’t like last minute things, it makes him feel rushed, and unprepared. So when he came down on that poor little innocent egg with his bear (no it’s not misspelled) fucking palm, he pauses there. Blank. Frozen where he sat. Jaskier cackling is not helping his situation.

Betrayed by the very bard who was brave enough to sidekick a Witcher, Geralt nodded, bringing his hand up and flinging yolk at Jaskier, who was still laughing. Geralt learned the game pretty fast after that, and it ended with Geralt 15, Jaskier 11.

I would also like to think that they bring that game back to Kaer Morhen, Eskel caught on quicker than Geralt, Lambert always got pissy about it, and Vesemir was just as determined as his pups.

Along with the other au’s and headcanons I talk about on here, Wolf Geralt is pretty up there, or really animal transformations but that’s for another day. What I’m kinda gonna go off is this series which is about Geralt getting cursed and when his medallion comes off he becomes a wolf, very lovely series please go check it out and hand out kudos to the writer.

Anyways, my headcanons tonight are about wolf Geralt and how hilarious it would be. I always see funny dog videos uhhh everywhere, and I love to think like “that’s him. That’s Geralt as a wolf” because it’s hilarious and only him as a brooding man would do that in a wolf form.

Here, picture Jaskier and Geralt walking, both on either side of roach when they pass a field that’s open, and Geralt stops roach and Jaskier stops a few steps ahead because uhh, why would Geralt stop? He looks back to see the Witcher staring at the field with determination before whipping around and staring him dead in the eye. Jaskier questions before being handed a medallion and soon seeing this giant white wolf zoom into the field. The field is long enough so the wolf has to hop, and Jaskier is laughing and watching as Geralt has his fun.

Or like Wolf Geralt getting the zoomies? It takes place mostly at Kaer Morhen, where Geralt can relax and his brothers actually play with him in this wolf form. Him and Lambert are playing around, rolling around on each other before Geralt hops up and shoots off. Lambert is laughing hard he’s breathless, Eskel and Jaskier just walked in and in question before they see the White Wolf barreling his way through the hallway only to snap back around and race off. Jaskier starts to laugh and Eskel totally cheers him on which only makes him last longer. (Don’t even get me started on the poop zoomies)

Now I have a dog of my own, he’s adorable but he can be sassy as hell, idk if other dogs do this, but mine will give me serious side eye action and when laying out, will kick his back legs on whoever they land on, and it’s funny to think of Geralt doing that too. Him stretching out in the giant pile they all made by a fire one night, and his back legs end up on Jaskier and while stretching out he just kicks the shit out of Jaskier who’s trying to sleep and when Jaskier tries to stop, he earns a groan from the wolf and serious side eye business. Jaskier says he totally stinks of attitude and puppy breath but gets kicked again.

One last one for the road, but the dogs (mainly huskeys) who yell and don’t really bark? Geralt. Totally. When Jaskier is trying to get onto Geralt for spilling something zooming around, Geralt starts to yell, and doesn’t stop. Everyone hates it, because he’s loud and knows it. But they totally get him back for it. See, when it first started, Eskel had enough and let out one of the fake howls you do to get a puppy to do that cute “awoooo” sound, and it gets Geralt to stop and do the head tilt before immediately joining in. Eskel, Lambert, Jaskier and Vesemir find it funny as hell, but Geralt says he hates it because he can’t really control it.

I was trying to sweeten this piece by explains my thought process first, but I thought I should just be honest with you guys. I think Jaskier is a giant Witcher nerd.

Let me explain why I think so, and it’s because that young, fresh pubescent boy who named himself Jaskier looked at this spooky and scary Witcher and said you. you are the chosen one. And followed that rat around for what, twenty something years? Like I understand some people can pick up something that’s old and dusty and just get on with it, but I also think that you should have some knowledge of what you’re getting into.

Jaskier sees Geralt sitting in the bar and Its immediate that he knows this man is a Witcher. He tries getting the man to talk to him, to maybe say he’s a Witcher but when that doesn’t work, he points it out and well, the guy doesn’t disagree.

Explaining more of my point, is that Witchers (mainly Geralt) were hated, because of how they did things, they were mutated, and Geralt with the blaviken thing, so why does this tiny boy come up to him and then stick to him like glue, y’know? Jaskier totally did his research, and totally knew what Witchers were. He knew almost (<-key word) exactly what he was getting into when he stuck to Geralt, and after the Elven accident, he has a better understand of what’s gonna go down with his life next to this man, and fixes some of his beliefs on Witchers.

I think it’s also a reason why he wants to make Geralt famous, because when he first studied them, maybe (most) facts were wrong about Witchers, so he wants people to understand them better than what they had before. All in all, I think Jaskier knows exactly who Geralt is, has been trying to reach out to the other Witchers that roam the rock, and is actually pretty excited about learning more about Witchers.

I want to make more headcanons for Eskel because uhh he’s my favourite out of the bunch. Like, all the other characters are amazing, but look at Eskel, such a sweet handsome man.

Anyways, I come and bring headcanons that I’ve thought about for him, and the first I wanna discuss is that he knows piano. Do I know if pianos exist in the Witcher universe? No. Does that stop me? Of course not. Piano is difficult at first to learn but I think since he had a few years on his plate, might as well make it interesting. I’d like to think that he thinks Piano is a very nice sound, and is attracted to when it’s being played. No one thinks such a roughed up looking Witcher would plop down and become Beethoven yet here we are. I’d also like to think that after Jaskier finds this out, he writes music for Eskel, and shows him the music. Maybe with little sight reading, Eskel can play the piece within just a few hours of having the sheet music, and it totally makes Jaskier cry, and perhaps they play together as lute and piano.

As someone who doesn’t like the rain (ahem me), I think he’s one of the few that really like it, and I mean really likes it. A storm is rolling in and Geralt and Jaskier happen to be in the same village Eskel is in, they get a room all together for the night, and while sleeping, Jaskier wakes up from nothing and notices it’s raining. From one human to another, he doesn’t like it, the rain gives him a cold, but when he realizes Eskel isn’t in the room and indeed outside just sitting in the rain, he isn’t much bothered by it and wraps a blanket tight around himself. He’ll join Eskel, as long as there’s something to stand under so he doesn’t get rained on, but from what he’s gathered, when it rains Eskel sits and soaks. Long after their little nights sitting in the rain, Eskel tells Jaskier the rain washes out the bad in his head, drenching the words and thoughts permanently carved into him. He feels at peace, and Jaskier respects that.

Last, but not least, I think his favourite season is autumn. Like he gets this kind of childish joy when he knows autumn is coming. He doesn’t know why, but he loves it. He loved the leafs changing colours, the cool breezes on rather sunny days, the closer autumn is the more he gets excited and meets up with another Witcher. Maybe he says it’s because of the crunching leafs under him when he walks, or maybe he says it’s because it’s closer to winter and closer to when he can go to his home in the mountains and spend time with his not-so-family family, or maybe it’s Maybelline, that’s up for you to decide.

If anyone’s got anymore ideas, feel free to add. I love this man, he deserves nice things.

more on my lab rat au:

so geralt was the first success for his specific testing ability. and that was to be a bio-weapon. he's mutated, he was forced into experiments without consent, and all geralt knows is that he hurts and that he can't feel and that his brothers and father figure is right outside this isolated room that he cannot escape from.

geralt uses swords and magick just like the other witchers, but geralt is... better for lack of better words. he's stronger and he has more energy, and he's the Best out of all of them.

which is why the creator sent him into further testing, pumping him with even more chemicals and making him suffer every damn day. soon, his hair turns snowy white and scars remain permanent on his face and chest. his teeth become sharper and more inhumane.

so they have to put a... mask - a muzzle of sorts (think of those techy masks that cover basically half of your face including your nose) since he began to lash out and become more wolf-like.

they tried to take it off of him to let him breathe, but two caretakers suffered immensely from burns and deep cuts. they didn't survive. so geralt has to wear that mask permanently, only having it open for him to eat.

once a month.

they starve him, never having him eat too much, never letting him get strong enough to break his encloser.

lambert, eskel, and vesemir all try to talk to him, but it's no use since the walls are too thick. it soon becomes common to hear the wails and howls of the wolves because of their lost brother.

geralt and lambert were very close, like an older brother with a younger one. they stuck close, comforted each other when there were night terrors, etc. eskel was geralt's best friend and brother as well. vesemir was a father figure and always took care of his pups.

they were all angry when geralt got taken, but lambert was fucking furious.

because how dare they take away his best friend? his brother? his family?

they had to muzzle lambert for a while as well.

then jaskier comes along, one of the best scientists around yet a dorky one filled with personality. most hated him. the creator found him intriguing. so he let him roam.

this man loves music (something uncommon in the apocalyptic world) and plays it whenever he can. he plays an old instrument, a lute, and he sings constantly. even when he's working.

the other scientists despise it, but they don't bring it up since he's, well, the best.

then, jaskier meets vesemir, lambert, and eskel. they immediately see something different in this adult man, something brighter. a light in the darkness, if you must. eskel asks questions, vesemir comments and tells him stories, lambert watches and stays quiet.

he had another outburst. the muzzle is back on, restricting his speaking ability but not restricting his breathing or snarling.

but he doesn't snarl as jaskier's eyes widen in horror, and he doesn't back up when his hands hesitantly come up. he doesn't trust him, but there's something different about him.

the mask clicks off.

silence as it drops.

then

"thank you"

and jaskier gives him a sympathetic smile, weaves his hand through his hair and lets his head drop against lambert's.

soon after, jaskier discovers the room where they keep geralt. he discovers how he's the only other person who can open it without permission. he discovers the wolfish man curled up in a corner, whimpering at the sound of his approach before jumping up with a snarl behind that mask.

the snarl falls when geralt sees jaskier.

they stare.

one thought flits through their minds

who are you

I saw this post this morning and I can’t stop thinking about it so I do hope you don’t mind me adding to this.

Okay, let’s start with Triss, because yes. Her obliterating threats like that with plants and trees is fucking awesome to think about (sorry not sorry but hot too). Not only can she do that but maybe if her anger is starting to really show and simmer into a boil, the plants around her start to grow rapidly. Not too fast, but it’s pretty noticeable. Let’s say her and yen are sparking up conversation with some young mages, who are just a load of pricks. Triss, being ticked off by something they do/say, starts to quiet down and a mean frown makes home on her face, but also the plants around them start to grow, and Yen being mindful and not really paying attention to the youth, decides that maybe it’s time for these ass bags to get the hell out of there before Triss does something about it. It’s just lovely to think of Triss getting mad and she’s standing in a field or a brick road with weeds and plants growing in between and they just grow slowly as her magic is slowly overtaken by anger.

Eskel, my sweet man, is probably one hell of a fighter. Sure I love to think of him as smart and well thought out, but when I say “one hell of a fighter” I mean he just doesn’t really think and starts acting without the thought process. He’s very in the moment with his anger. If this man is pissed off, he’s probably grab the thing closes to him and wham the shit out of whatever is pissing him off. Chair? Yep. Scorpions saddle? Most likely. You name it, he probably used it to knock a man out. A bonus is since I like to think that him and Jaskier are cool and close friends do to the love of poetry, I wouldn’t doubt he once or twice grabbed the bards lute to beat a man. I think that shows how in the moment he is with his anger, don’t think just get rid of the problem. Another side note is maybe he doesn’t get to angry easily and really feeds off other people’s annoyance and anger? Some clown going off in the square and people hate it? Eskel to the rescue, let him just grab something real close.

For Vesemir, I think this man (being the oldest Witcher left) would be fucking dangerous if he was angered. It would be very hard for someone or something to get onto his nerves, let alone made him feel angry towards it. He’s got a lot of years under his belt, he’s made peace with himself, and I think that’s scary about him. Unlike Eskel who’s in the moment, Lambert and Geralt always being in the mood to fight, Vesemir is a calm man who’s already planned out how to take you out the moment he sees you. He does not loose character, and he’ll tell you how you’ve made him angry, tell you how he’s going to take care of the problem. The boys haven’t seen him truly angry, but I feel they all have a secret promise to not fuck with Vesemir if he seems or smells the slightest of upset.

I see your feral Jaskiers, Geralt’s, Yennfers, and Lamberts (that’s just his personality...). And I completely support them.

But might I ask,

WHERE ARE MY FERAL TRISSES, ESKELS, AND VESEMIRS?!

I WANT TRISS TO KILL A MAN BY GROWING A FUCKING TREE INSIDE HIM UNTIL HE FUCKING B U R S T S!!! GIVE THIS GIRL A S WO R D. LET HER SWING IT AROUND AND FIGHT SOMEONE!!! CRUSH SOMEONES BONES INTO DUST!!!

I WANT MORE ALZUR’S LEGACY ESKEL FUCKING KILLING A MAN WITH A CHAIR!!! I WANT THIS MAN TO STOP BEING NICE AND GO FUCKING APE SHIT!!! BREAK SOMEONES ARM WITH JUST HIS GRIP. DESTROY SOME ASSHOLES FACE WITH HIS FISTS!!!

I WANT VESEMIR SNAPPING AND DESTROYING AN ENTIRE TROOP THATS AFTER HIS SON AND GRANDDAUGHTER!!! I WANT THIS MAN TO GO G O D MODE!!

I see your feral Jaskiers, Geralts, Yennfers, and Lamberts. And I love them. But now I raise you, “I am tired of being nice. I do just wanna go ape shit.” Squad, Triss, Eskel, and Vesemir.

The thought of Geralt playing hide n seek with kids obliterates me. I come bringing stories of Geralt playing with town kids.

Let’s start off with the beginner, hide n seek. No one would ever play hide n seek with a Witcher because they can use all five sense to find you. But do kids know that? Picture this, Geralt walking into town, Roach walking next to him eyes on the stables at the end of the town’s road, and from the side, Geralt can see a group of small kids next to one of the tents open in the market. He knows better than to march right up to them and say hi, or to wave his huge hand at them, so he simply steps forwards and continues on. He made a few stops at a few tents to get some apples for roach, other items along the way to the stables and kept seeing the same kids but hiding. Were they scared of him? He didn’t smell any fear... once it clicks into his dense head, he smiles a little and walks on with Roach. Now when he sees the kids, he acts like he doesn’t, lifting his chin high or talking to roach quietly. Once to the stables, and Roach finally getting time to relax, he spots the kids hiding next to the stable, inching ever so closely. So he turns his back and makes a thinking face, finger tapping on his chin as he stared up at the sky with fake questions. After a moment of standing there, the kids hop out and all attempt to startle the Witcher, who hums and turns to the kids. They were all kinda bummed out they didn’t get to scare the Witcher, but Geralt gave them apples he got earlier.

I think the drawing is when he slowly getting to be more well known, and at first Jaskier thinks it’s for him. I think they’re in a town about to leave when a little girl comes running up to them, no words, just a paper she’s holding above her head. Geralt turns to her and is a bit worried she could trip, but Jaskier smiles and kneels down to her. Except she doesn’t go to Jaskier, she goes straight to Geralt, hopping at his feet and insisting he take the paper, it’s important. Geralt looks at Jaskier, who is stunned but amused and waves a little hand at him, then he takes the paper carefully from the girl. It’s a little drawing, clearly made by this little girl, of him and his sword. He looks mad, but is smiling and Geralt can’t help but feel his slow Witcher heart jump with excitement. He kneels down next to her, who is watching him closely, and holds up the picture next to himself, and smiles. “I think it’s an exact portrait, what wonderful art.” The little girl beams. Jaskier is so warmed by this, and years late he still sees the doodle every once in a while.

I think it get real wild when they call him for a game of Tag, or maybe some teens start to race him and his horse down the road on afternoon. Geralt being just, soft and kid friendly is my cup of tea.

Geralt of Rivia can, has, and will cut a bad man's head clean off his neck with one swing of his sword but he'll also play hide and seek with kids and keep the drawings kids he's helped give to him like they're treasures, and honestly that's so sexy of him.

A beautiful snuggle pile of my favorite Witchers that I commissioned. They just look so relaxed.

Art by @xxxandrac on Twitter

Jaskier shows Lambert it’s okay to be passionate about something…

An easel sat on the shores of the lake near Kaer Morhen. Jaskier spotted it for the first time while on a romantic boat cruise with Geralt; the Witcher did all the rowing and Jaskier lounged back opposite with his lute across his lap, but that was beside the point. The easel sat at the very bottom of a steep path, with a small chest at its side, which probably contained the mystery artist’s equipment.

Jaskier made a mental note to investigate further.

When the snows cleared towards the end of the season, the beautiful, mist-wreathed views of the Blue Mountains from Geralt’s bedroom window reminded Jaskier of a painting, which in turn reminded him of his mystery artist. One afternoon, he set off on foot. When he reached the top of the path, he looked down the slope and saw someone he really didn’t expect to.

It was Lambert.

The youngest wolf of Kaer Morhen stood with a palette in one hand and brush in the other. A leather case sat unfolded on top of the chest containing more tools of his trade; scalpels, brushes and other miscellaneous items. He was currently measuring up a perspective of something in the distance.

“Lambert!” Jaskier stood downwind, so called out to let the Witcher know of his presence. He really didn’t expect Lambert to swirl ‘round, wide-eyed, and then immediately throw his tools in the lake. Not only that, but his left hand twisted into the Sign for Igni and he set his entire piece of art on fire. The bard sprinted down the path—no mean feat, he wasn’t exactly a spiritely youth anymore—and kicked the easel into the lake.

Too late. The painting was ruined. Jaskier pulled the canvas out of the wet mud, and looked at it forlornly. “Lambert, why—?”

Lambert shook. His fists clenched. “If you tell anyone, I’ll kill you.” The Witcher looked genuinely distressed; his teeth gritted, eyes wild. Rather than engage with Jaskier any further, he snatched up his bags and stormed away. Geralt warned Jaskier of the potential for drowners, foglets and water hags in the area, so the bard didn’t tarry.

After a little bit of prodding, some moonshine and a game of Gwent, Lambert finally opened up. He was… embarrassed. Worried. He thought that if the others found out they’d take the piss and if there was one thing he couldn’t deal with—there were quite a few, but Jaskier wasn’t brave enough to point that out—then it was someone ripping into him about a private passion. It was his. No one else’s. Something he could enjoy outside the bullshit of the Path. But it was very un-Lambert. It was gentle, and peaceful, and everything the Path wasn’t, and—he just didn’t want anyone to find out, alright?

Despite giving assurances that Eskel and Geralt really wouldn’t tease him about something he was passionate about—and deep down, the prickly wolf knew this to be true—Jaskier didn’t push Lambert to reveal his secret. Instead, he decided to support his Witcher quietly. For the following solstice Jaskier bought Lambert a present. A set of watercolours. The winter after that, he bought him a new drawing pad and some charcoal. They never talked about it and Jaskier never saw the products of his gifts. It didn’t matter. He was showing Lambert that it was good and healthy to have something just for yourself.

Until the fourth winter.

Lambert approached quietly, tentatively, and placed a small square wrapped in brown paper beside Jaskier while he was basking in the fading winter sun. He left without a word. The bard set his lute aside and picked up his gift. The paper and twine fell away to reveal a beautiful watercolour; a small, full-bodied portrait of himself sat within a buttercup that took up the rest of the background. His miniature self was singing, happy and bright, with the gorgeous yellow shades reflecting the joy of a bard’s heart in full flight.

Lambert had signed it at the bottom, with a very small ‘thank you’ scrawled beneath.

The small watercolour became one of Jaskier’s most beloved possessions.

I wanna talk more about wolf Geralt because honestly? He’s been on my mind lately. These are just more random things I’ve been thinking about so I hope you guys like.

Geralt has a favourite blanket. This blanket isn’t his own furs he has in his nice comfortable room, nuh uh, this blanket is from Lambert’s room. When Geralt is in his wolf form, this man trots his way to Lambert’s room and if the young Witcher isn’t in his room, Geralt takes the pleasure of rubbing and rolling on the blanket. If Lambert is in his room, Gearlt hops onto the bed, and with lightening speed, grabs the blanket between his teeth and fucking guns it. Gearlt will and has played tug of war with Lambert because it’s his fuckin blanket, Geralt give it back— if Lambert let’s Gearlt win, maybe after a day of intense training or running the walls of the keep, Gearlt sets it in the large living area and by the fire, and will rub and roll on it with his smug wolf face.

Another thing is Geralt doesn’t mind goats while human, because he isn’t ground level with them, but as a wolf he cannot stand them for more than a few minutes. Eskel doesn’t let him near most of his goats he’s collected because a) he still doesn’t know if Geralt has more wolf like instincts when it comes to prey animals and b) his goats would be scared of Geralt anyways. But, Lil’ Bleater isn’t scared of Gearlt, either the goat knows it’s him or the goat thinks it owns Kaer Morhen. Lil’ Bleater will hop around Geralt, hop on him only to bounce off of him, bleep at him and just do everything around Geralt and he hates it. The goat doesn’t back off from the growls too much, so Geralt has given to barking at the goat, who will freeze up, fall over, and then run off and hide normally wherever Eskel is. Idk, I just thought this was kind of a funny idea, like if Geralt was being annoying, Eskel would bust out Lil’ Bleater and he’d get a taste of his own medicine.

Another bit, is when Lambert or Vesemir are in the kitchen preparing food, wolf Geralt comes into the kitchen area and instead of begging, he’ll just watch. He doesn’t sit in the walk way though, too many times hashis poor tail been stepped on, so he’ll sit behind the counter top they use to cut the meat on. Geralt is just big and tall enough for just his eyes to peek over the top of the counter, and watch. Jaskier once walked in on the scene and still teased him about it to this day, Eskel likes to give him small strips of meat if he catches him, but he doesn’t bag around Vesemir or Lambert, he knows better. Geralt admits sometime later he just likes to watch them work, it’s very hypnotizing.

Okay okay, last one. I won’t go too much into this one, but have you seen those dogs who hold things in their mouths and do the little happy skipping with their feet? Look me in the eyes and tell me that’s not Geralt. I do understand that he’s not always like that, but maybe if Jaskier is sad or someone gives him how own steak, he totally does his little happy dance. Lambert calls it tapping toes, Eskel can’t stop laughing, and Jaskier will dance with him. Vesemir is just amused he’s so expressive when in this form.

Would the wolf Witchers have different areas they get sensory overloads? Like, does that make sense? Their senses are enhance to be more powerful so certain things would be more intense for the others, let me explain how I’m thinking this.

I want to start with Geralt, because he’s the first I can think of. Honestly? I think his sense of smell is incredibly strong. Even though he has extra mutations and stuff and it is probably different, I think his sense of smell is overpowering even for him. It could be used for hunting and tracking down missing pets or people, but I also think he just smells so much when stepping into a village or town, and it’s kind of too much? First meeting Jaskier, I think he recoiled from him because it was just so intense and made his nose burn, but after few words and many reactions, I think Jaskier settles down the fragrance and goes for something that is so settle to him it’s not even there but Geralt kinda really enjoys it? Sure he still doesn’t like to enter town most of the time because of the disgusting smells, but maybe Jaskier gives him a small cloth with the nice smell.

I don’t think much on Lambert just because I kinda don’t relate to his humour or personality but I’m learning to open up about him, and I like the headcanon people have of him cooking, and being excellent at it. I think his sensitive sense is taste. A lot of things just don’t sit with him, it tastes disgusting. Watching mothers lick a cloth to wipe dirt from their child’s face makes him feel creepy’s and crawly’s, he hates it. Maybe he doesn’t eat much of other peoples cooking because of it, but when he makes it, he knows what to do with it and it doesn’t effect him as bad. Maybe it’s more of a texture thing the longer I think of it. I’d also like to think that he’s the only one who cooks in Kaer Morhen because the other wolfs understand it, and his cooking is the best.

I thought hard and long on Eskel but I think I wanna go with hearing. I wouldn’t say it’s worse or better than the other Witchers, it’s just the first to really really get to him. Towns and villages are hard for him at times because the blacksmith working can be too much, town folk talking can be too much, farm animals and so on. Maybe around Kaer Morhen, if a loud creature is out around the property of the Keep, he’ll hunch his shoulders up and cover his ears, but outside the Keep I think maybe he has some wax plugs he puts in. If those don’t work well, which I’m thinking they don’t most of the time, he probably sits with his hands overs his ears for a while, gather himself. I think maybe Geralt, Jaskier and Vesemir give him books from time to time just to settle in silence, focus on the words and fuzz everything out.

Finally, I wanna get to Vesemir himself. Not gonna lie, touch. I don’t think this man likes any kind of touch he doesn’t allow or hasn’t done it first. As in like, if he doesn’t hold his hand out for a handshake, don’t grab his hand for him and shake it. He hates it. Don’t pat him on the shoulder, don’t touch his elbow, no hugs unless he goes for it first. I think the pups know this, but when he firsts meets Jaskier, I think he would get stressed out completely cause this man is all talk and touch. With the pups instructions not to, Jaskier wouldn’t do it anymore of course, but Vesemir was very put off with Jaskier at first. I’d also like to bring up the idea that maybe Vesemir just always wears gloves, could be his armour gauntlets or just a tight pair of leather gloves, makes him feel like he’s not touching anything, only the glove is. As a person who is sensitive to touching most times, I get the stress of it and I think the gloves would be, not only interesting, but a weight lifting. You aren’t touching it, the glove is.

Possibly some more???

- after Jaskier says that Geralt is his very best friend one night while drunk, Eskel and Lambert joke by acting like drunk Jaskier and call Geralt their very best friend.

- during training, when ‘slow motion’ is yelled, they will do super slow training, can be running or sword training. They had to change it because before it was randomly going slow, but the boys got hurt too many times.

- Jaskier came up with a game of staring back at people when playing, since sometimes the boys would just sit and watch him play, so if he catches one of them, he stares back while continuing to sing. The longest gaze he’s held is with Geralt, Eskel and Lambert kinda stopped trying.

- when Vesemir is talking, repeat what he says in an encouraging way, so if he wants chores done, Lambert or Jaskier will repeat him very enthusiastically. Goal is to either get Vesemir mad, or to get him pumped up too.

- Jaskier will baby voice some of the boys, when they’re talking randomly one afternoon, he starts to talk to Eskel like a mother would a babe, and all the boys love it.

- all of them like to grab a random inanimate object and carry it around, calling it names. They once found Lambert in the kitchen with an old battle axe he found, its name for that evening was Jamie.

- when Vesemir gets into one of the boys, they find stuff to disguise with. Very often does one at Kaer Morhen see Vesemir getting onto the lads and Lambert and Eskel using Geralt’s hair as a moustache.

- scavenger hunt, Jaskier and Vesemir made this together because somedays the boys are just so bored. One of them will hide things either inside the Keep because it’s snowing, or outside right before it gets bad. They also make riddles together. Eskel is fantastic at the riddles, Geralt is in the lead with finding things first, and Lambert is the fastest to turn in saying he’s found stuff.

Geralt is worried about bringing Jaskier to Kaer Morhen, cause Geralt acts like an entirely different person when he's around his brothers.

Geralt thinks that Jaskier sees him a serious man, with a secret soft side. But when Geralt's around his brothers... All hell break loose. Here's what Jaskier sees when he stays at the Witchers' keep for the winter:

- Geralt and his brothers get drunk. A lot. It usually results with one of them running around the keep, naked.

- They have ridiculous games like telling about the most brutal contract you've ever had, but replace the words "my sword" with "my dick".

- Playing strip gwent. Outside. In the middle of the coldest night of the winter.

- Planking while the others pile things up on you. Whoever manages to hold the least of things, does the others' laundry for a week.

- "Put as much stuff as you can on Vesemir, without him noticing".

- "Who can make the bard blush first without being rude" (this game is new and Geralt HATES it).

- Randomly yelling "BRUXA" in the middle of the day and all of them need to do a handstand as fast as they can. Whoever loses, does the dishes. Jaskier is still surprised how Geralt never loses at this.

- "Reply to Vesemir only in questions".

- Tell Vesemir that you fell in love with someone. And then describe your horse, without making him realize that you're talking about a horse. When Geralt attempts this, Vesemir gives him a small smile and looks at Jaskier. "Geralt sure thinks fondly of you". Eskel and Lambert spit out their soup, bursting in laughter.

- Wear one of Vesemir's shirts for as long as you can, without him noticing. Lambert always wins this one.

- Replace the lyrics to one of Jaskier's songs with the most ridiculous ones you can. Jaskier hates this game at first, but eventually he starts suggesting lines himself. One time Jaskier sings a wrong line from their game during a performance a Geralt almost chokes on his ale.

- "How many times a day Geralt smiles at Jaskier while the bard's looking away?" (Eskel and Lambert LOVE this one).

- "Who can embarrass Geralt more with a ridiculous childhood story".

- Answer "Lambert" to every one of Vesemir's questions.

- Ask Vesemir with a serious face why didn't he tell you that you were adopted.

- Teach your brother's horse to respond to a different name. Lambert is furious when Geralt teaches his horse to respond to "Aiden". "Now you can surely say that you're riding Aide-" Geralt doesn't get to finish as Lambert tackles him to the ground.

- And of course, succeed in tackling you brother randomly to the ground. They keep score.

Not only does Jaskier love these games and this new, goofy side of Geralt. He also participates in a lot of them.

And to Geralt's horror and his brothers sheer amusement, the bard's winning.

I’ve made some more wolf geralt headcanons, would you like some wolf geralt headcanons? Here, have some wolf geralt headcanons you poor children.

I do think someone gives him a toy. I don’t think it’s from one of his brothers or Jaskier, but it’s from a little girl who was taught that he was the white wolf, not the butcher and wanted to give him something so he’s protected too. Him as normal adores the fuck out of the toy, but his wolf form has an obsession with it. The first time the wolf brothers see it, Geralt has been whining up a storm, shifting from side to side with nervousness while Jaskier gets the toy. If the toy isn’t by his side most of the winter, everyone’s going to hear him whine until it’s found.

Geralt blends in really well with the snow, so when it’s just beginning to snow, him, Eskel and Lambert race outside to play hide n seek. Geralt does it because it’s fun and tires him out, for Eskel and Lambert it helps with their hunting skills, mostly like smell and sight. It’s really funny to see Geralt lay down completely to try and camouflage in the snow, with his golden eyes shining so bright.

Geralt nannies the fuck out of Ciri when she comes along. She is now apart of the pack, she must be protected!! He followed her around everywhere, being there for support if she needed to lean on something, pulling her out of the way when the other wolves, +bard, are trying to get things done. If they’re somewhere and Geralt has a sudden feeling of danger, he’ll do everything is wolf self can to get Ciri out of there and safely somewhere else. Ciri is also the only one who can bribe Geralt into doing tricks.

If he’s tired after a long day of training, he’ll shift into his wolf form sometimes, and wherever he is at whatever time, he’s going to lay down and stay there. Jaskier jokes about him being a lap wolf, it’s all fun n games until Geralt turns into this huge fluffy white wolf and crushes your legs with pure hunting muscles. Eskel only likes it’s when he’s had a bad night, Geralt always sticks with him after a bad night. He’s with Lambert most of the nights, poor baby wolf so sensitive to the cold keep. When he’s not with either of them, he’s with Jaskier laying his head on his stomach and Jaskier petting his head. He sings for him and massages his ears, and in return Geralt keeps Jaskier warm and licks his face when Jaskier is joking with him.

Last one, but when Geralt gets excited over something, his tail wags like no tomorrow and doesn’t care what he’s hitting with it. If it’s a body part, better hope it can stand it. But if it’s a hard object, like a door or a counter corner and it has that steady beat to it, Jaskier totally makes up a song on the spot to the beat of Geralt’s tail.

I hope that was enjoyable, if you want to add anything I’d love to see it!!

Vesemir: Why does it smell like a hay pin in here?

Eskel: what? It’s not so baaaaaaad.

Vesemir: ....

Eskel: ...

Vesemir: for goat’s sake’s, that’s enough.

Geralt: here we goat again.

Lambert: you’ve goat to be kidding me.

Eskel: oh my god..

Jaskier: shit just goat serious.

The wolf boys best sleeping positions cause I’m tired.

Lambert loves to be cuddles from behind, little spoon this one is. When him and the other wolf ding dongs cuddle together in front of the fire during winter he makes sure to get the edge by the fire because Eskel n Geralt like to cuddle together sometimes, plus it feels like he’s protected by the other two (which he will never ever tell them). When Jaskier comes along, they love to cuddle together and hold one another. If Jaskier wakes up one night to pee, Lamber will sleepily cling to him to try and get him back down. In the morning he won’t admit it, but if another one saw him cling, he owns up to it proudly.

Eskel totally spreads all out, maximum comfort is in star fish position. I also bet this man kicks in his sleep. He doesn’t mean to, but if ones too close and he can’t spread out, better be prepared to be shoved. Now he if he’s cuddling someone before he falls asleep, he won’t spread out like normal and will sleep like the mountain he is. I bet he also likes to squeeze between Lambert and Geralt, the middle is always the warmest to him.

Geralt, I bet likes to sleep on his back, and who ever cuddles into his sides will be locked into cuddling with him. Normally when cuddling, either by the fire or on his huge ass bed, you’ll find him asleep on his back with Jaskier n Eskel cuddling against his sides, protected by his arms. If Lambert joins, Jaskier likes to take Geralt’s chest.

I can’t forget Vesemir, just because he’s old ain’t mean he likes a good nap with his pups. I bet you’d find him on his own bed, which would probably be just a wee bit smaller than the other boys, curled up and tuckered out after a hunt for winters food, with the boys cuddled and surrounding him just like how he watches over the wolf boys when they lay out under the hearth.

not sure if you also follow marvel, but seeing as MCU *also* has a conjunction event, what would happen if the Witchers wound up on their earth (or anywhere else in the MCU for that matter?)

This is a good question!! Ngl, when I first saw this, I thought of Yennefer meeting Black Widow and kinda got really excited about that idea, but also Yen meeting Scarlet Witch is something too.

My mind wonders to Lambert second, and no I don’t really understand yet how his character is/works, like his personality, so not much comes to mind instead or maybe Rocket, or Loki. I personally feel like he’d make good jokes with Rocket, and I’m not totally 100% sure why Loki??? It’s probably because I kinda see his relationship with Geralt seem like how Thor and Loki are? oddly?? Like one of them is totally furious kitty, while the other one is like “he’s adopted guys”.

Along with Thor, Geralt also likes to talk to Hawkeye, purely because I once heard Geralt likes crossbows, he may also like Captain America because wasn’t he like, pumped with a super-solider serum ??? and then brought to a strange modern arc in the future at sometime ??? they probably help each other out with adjusting, also Steve saying Geralt isn’t a monster and helping him is kinda really soft to think about.

oh buddy do I have Eskel hc’s for you, I totally want to think he gets along well with Doctor Strange, magic???? it’s not realistic, because poor boy couldn’t comprehend, but this is fiction. I also bet he likes Bucky, cause he likes his hair (and cool arm).

okay, Jaskier. My first thought was Spiderman? but you gotta remember Jaskier isn’t young no more, he’s like 40, spidy is baby. it is a cool idea though. So I kept thinking, and I like the idea of him and Ironman getting along, both having a sharp tongue, I bet they can talk and talk for hours.

for Ciri, I really like her and Captain Marvel to get along, oh my gosh, I think it’s a click right at the beginning. Ciri does get fly rides, and!! I also think she’d get along with The Hulk, she’s curious, he’s willing to answer questions.

for Vesemir? I totally think he sits back with Odin, Vesemir is just surprised to see this. I do think they’d do old people things together. 

Thank you for smiting!! I hope this satisfies you!! If you want to add more, or debunk ideas, I’d love to hear.

A question for Papa Vesemir, how do you get your pups to calm down after a year on the Path? They must be stressed when they come back. (Also I love you)

Vesemir: *Chuckles* I’m flattered. And, yes, you’re right. The pups don’t usually come home in good spirits. It’s a hard life, out there on the path. Food’s always scarce and your pay’s not always given in full when you’ve finished off a contract. That makes it difficult to buy supplies for potions, which in turn can lead to improperly patched wounds. Their clothes and armor are torn and hanging off them all by the time Winter rolls around, and the things the three of them see on their travels are things that a human’s imagination couldn’t stand to conjure on its own. Everything takes a toll, but I try my best to make their time here in the Winter as restful as possible.

Feeding them all’s the most important thing. Gotta make sure the pantries are stocked full before the pups arrive. That’s where a majority of my own coin goes. I don’t take many jobs anymore but when I do head out for a hunt, I make sure the payment’s worth it. King Bran of Skellige handed over enough gold to last us all three Winters once, after I cleared a pod of sirens off his shores. Most of it went to food. My boys come home starved from the path, their ribs sticking out sometimes...I don’t like it one bit. That’s why I make sure and feed them all plenty once they’re home. The first few nights at the keep, we have more to eat than usual. That helps to at least settle their aching bellies.

I tend to all of their wounds as well, once they come back home. Like I said before, they run out of coin and it gets hard to buy supplies for potions. Luckily, here at Kaer Morhen I’ve got the lab, a greenhouse, and everything in my study. Plenty of medicine and bandages and sterile tools for stitching. I can’t tell you how many times one of them’s come back with a fever, holdin onto an opened wound that’s been oozing out infection for who knows how long. Healing them is usually a simple task but getting them to hold still while I fix whatever’s ailing them, now that’s a different story. Especially if it’s Lambert. I don’t normally condone his drinking habit but a little bit of booze helps to settle him enough for me to patch him up.

Scratches and bites aren’t the only hurts they all bring back, however. The wounds in the mind are the hardest ones to treat. I do what I can, but nothing of that sort can really be cured entirely. There’s brews to help at least, and I keep enough made for each one of my pups. Different potions work for different witchers, of course. I can’t give Geralt the same brew I give to Lambert for nightmares. It wouldn’t work if I did, and If I gave Geralt’s to Eskel, it would only make his worse. 

The only other thing I can give my boys is my love. I talk to them whenever they need that and listen when they just need me to hear them. Sometimes one or two or all of them will slip into my room at night after a nightmare. They’ll either make themselves a spot on the floor to stay the rest of the night or make themselves comfortable on the open side of my bed. Eskel’s told me it just makes him feel like he’s safer. I assume that’s the case with Geralt and Lambert as well, and that’s fine by me. They’re always welcome to stay with me if they need to...Lullabies help to settle them back down at times like that, after they’ve had a dream bad enough to send them running to me. Lambert likes to have his back rubbed too. That’s always helps him back to sleep.

A lot of folk would have you believe that Witchers don’t give hugs but that’s a lie. I hug my sons every day. They’re my sons. I want them to know that I love them.

So like am I one of the few who thinks of Eskel as the older sibling kind?👀 Like he’s got so much big brother energy it’s so crazy, let me tell you about the things I’ve thought of for it.

Geralt’s been feeling kind of down during the winter months, sulks here and there, spreading the scent of sadness. Maybe he misses his bard, no one knows because he won’t talk about it. Now think Eskel in the keeps library looking for books he’s read over and over before, and Geralt comes in after doing his chores and walks over to him and just leans against him. Eskel knew it was gonna happen sooner or later, hums, and picks out one of Geralt’s favourite books. He gets the wolf to sit next to the fire with him. By supper time, Lambert finds them laying next to the hearth with Eskel reading out loud and Geralt sleeping with his hair being played with.

With Lambert It’s different, no I don’t think Lambert’s the one to just sit there in silence, I think he bottles it up and gets angry easier. Mixing Eskel into the situation, i bet he’s a lot more daring than Geralt would be, more likely to chunk Lambert off the roof of Kaer Morhen, or tackle him out of nowhere. Not saying Geralt wouldn’t do it, but I feel as if Eskel can tell when Lambert’s gonna pop a lot quicker. This also goes with jokes, name calling, snarky remarks thrown at each other.

Now with Jaskier, I can totally see him and Eskel just reciting old poems written by dead poets. Maybe one night while Eskel is helping cook, and by that I mean he’s just making sure the stew was stirred, Jaskier comes marching in and whips out this poem that Eskel hasn’t heard in a while, but it’s the very poem Jaskier used to express he’s angry. Eskel would reply back with some poem he remembers back on, and they just go back and forth like that. Sometimes it’s just a couple of poems, but the longest they gone was almost four days.

Yes I want to add Vesemir into this, I saw some headcanons about Vesemir and Eskel having a close relationship as father & son and I love it so much. Man, when Lambert or Geralt ruffles Vesemir’s feathers a little too much, I love to think of Vesemir going out to the training grounds and doing drill over drill over drill, and Eskel comes to join him. Sometimes they talk, other times they just fall into sync. Maybe after Vesemir cooks Eskel his favourite soup because he appreciates him being there.

This can also be seen as big, middle or little sibling but I just think he radiates big brother energy so much.