Lambert - Tumblr Posts
Here’s my @thewitchersecretsanta gift for @pressedinthepages :D!!
Thank you so much for your patience, dear Erica! I was so lucky to be assigned you, having seen you in my own notifications before :’> and since I saw you had previously reblogged some of my Geskel comics, I decided to draw one for you as well! You wanted to have something fluffy and nice, and “if that’s my jam”, a bit of smut. Clearly there’s no smut here //D! But I tried to incorporate the idea of potential smut in the fictional future, hohoho.
I hope you had a splendid time celebrating if you celebrated any kind of holiday, and I wish you all the best for the new year!!!
Jaskier: damn boy you make my heart skip a bleat😔
Eskel: :( that’s not good for your health
Jaskier: do you like cuddling? Me too, we should do it together sometime on my bed.😉
Eskel: aww Jask, I wish I could but I can’t today
Jaskier: why 😭😭 what could possibly be more important than cuddling with the best bard?
Eskel: it’s Lil Bleater’s birthday
At one point Jaskier would probably start sexting the witchers... but for cuddles. Like
Jaskier: Hey handsome ❤️
Lambert: wtf
Jaskier: Wachu doing tonight? 🥺
Lambert: are you drunk??
Jaskier: *sends picture of his bed*
Lambert: jaskier wtf im married!?
Jaskier: 🤭😜 Bring Aiden with you
Jaskier: We could...
Jaskier: cuddle 😉
Lambert: ...
Jaskier: PLEASE!! 🥺🥺 Geralt is on a hunt and I'm lonely!!
And all witchers agree that it's freaking weird, but they still come over anyways.
A goat walks into a Bar
This is my Witcher Secret Santa gift for the @thewitchersecretsanta event, my fic is for @martianapplecrumble I hope you enjoy and Happy New Year! <3
A Goat Walks Into A Bar
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Y’know, I would love to hear some of your headcanons you have on Eskel(+everyone else), I also want to hear nicknames people may have for them too, because nicknames are awesome.
Gimme your thoughts >:)
Lambert and Eskel
Colored version of a sketch I made last year =)
Nicknames?
For Eskel: Care Bear, Big Guy, Amber Eyes, The Mattress, The Nice One, The Favourite, Bootlicker
For Geralt: Fluffykins, Pretty Boy, Snowball, Princess, Geralt "King of Bad Choices" of Rivia.
Lambert: The Best Witcher.
-- From Lambert
Yeah, the best at being a little bitch.
— from Eskel
How Netflix production is probably going rn—
This is for @maythefandomsbwithu btw. I’m thinking of this headcanon for modern Geralt/Jaskier, and Jask is taking new adhd medication, and if you know anything about it, it’s either going to work or it will not work. A hit or miss kinda thing. Anywho, after a while of being on schedule, an everyday thing, Geralt begins to notice... things.
Jaskier has stopped humming and singing around the house. Everybody gets busy yeah, but while cooking, or cleaning, or bouncing around, or work, it’s silent. That’s just the first thing.
Next, Jaskier’s movements have slowen to a stop. His back is curled in on himself, he sits to himself, his step are gentle, he never bounces around Geralt anymore..
And after Jaskier’s lost of appetite and not coming out of his room, Geralt begins to just slightly panic. When he goes inside, he always just sees a sad burrito Jaskier and every time he tries to get him to talk, to play something, he gives tired eyes back instead of those bright ones Geralt has fallen in love with.
It was hard, trying to find out what it was and stay steady. Geralt got Jaskier to eat with a little bit of stubbornness and stern talking, but getting him to leave the room without carrying him out was a hard one. He had talked to everybody too, Eskel and Lambert came over once a week with groceries, Ciri also came over for game nights and sleepovers. Even Yen and Triss dropped by, and gave him a plant. He remembers Triss talking to Jaskier who was curled up, telling him “not only will you take care of it, but it will take care of you”. That was a hard day.
When Jaskier’s next appointment came around, Geralt had written down questions to ask. Both he and Jaskier sat together through it, Geralt holding his hand to calm his own nerve, thumbs sliding over knuckles on a hand that would barely clench back. Luckily, the doctor explained it could be a side effect of the new medication, and that they would be willing to change out the prescription. Geralt gives Jaskier side eyes, because it wasn’t his choose, but that limp hand in his tightened, just a little bit.
After two weeks of slowly coming off the meds and starting the new one, both Jaskier and Geralt enjoyed a night out together, seeing and counting how many dogs they saw with little coats on, and feeding ducks too.
Oh my gosh, Vesemir being shorter than his sons but being happy about it because they are very strong and healthy Wolf boys ❤️ I wonder if he ever measured them against the doorframe and still has all of the marks labeled with their names and ages. Something to remind him of how small they used to be and how much they’ve grown. Also yes he’s shorter than his boys but he can still lift them all with no problem probably XD
What a wonderful idea, the wolf boys as kids use to race him to said doorframe. Lambert always stood on his toes, and Geralt and Eskel had a competition on who would grow taller.
Vesemir being shorter than them doesn’t change anything, he very easily picks up his boys. He can use it to have fun or use it against them, thinking of Vesemir going after one of the boys legs and either they’re laughing or never expected the world to turn so fast.
Picture this, a casual gathering with geralt and all of his friends, dancing, music, food, alcohol, gambling, the whole shebang.
Geralt and Yen are dancing casually, sorta just basking in the environment. Yen looks at Geralt- hes staring at something over her shoulder, she turns around-
BAM Eskel and Lambert going HAM in the middle of the dance floor.
Are they dancing with eachother or are they trying to outdance the other? No one knows, all anyone knows is that they're using their witcher stamina to the fullest, busting out the most extra dance moves anyone had ever seen
Anon, I hope you know that this made me choke on my spicy chicken and rice. I’ve been giggling and drawing this for the past hour—
I’m currently without power in this Texas snow storm, and very bored. So let’s make ideas together!!
Either anything you can think of for whoever character, or here’s a prompt we can go off of! Let’s have it be a road trip au with Geralt, Lambert, Jaskier and Eskel. Let’s figure out what they do for jobs and where they go, road stories to tell and laugh at, moments in storms, times were one won’t talk to another and the other two awkwardly have to fill the silence. I’m down to hear anything!
So there are things Eskel won’t do due to morals right? And things he will do to easy everyone’s nerves, what are somethings Eskel will do but knows he’s not suppose to? An example is like, Eskel isn’t suppose to disturb Lambs afternoon nap because he knows LB will be cranky for the rest of the day but that doesn’t stop his ass from causing reckless behaviour. Thoughts?
As nice and sweet and ethical as Eskel is, he’s still a petty bitch. If he wants to get back at this lil greasy fucking bitch boy, he’ll do it nO hesitation.
[chaos ensues]
Eskel’s the only one who packed enough snacks. He’s also driving, because it’s his truck and no one drives his truck but him. Lambert lost the rock-paper-scissors for shotgun so he’s in the back. With the snacks. Eskel hears a crunch and starts YELLING but he can’t DO anything bc they have to make time and can’t stop the car for him to beat up the motherfucker in the back eating all his chips.
Lambert: *starts to eat Eskel snacks*
Eskel: that better not be my can of Pringle’s
Lambert: *chews faster*
I honestly think that doesn’t hold him back, he’d probably get whoever’s in the passenger seat to hold the wheel for a second while he beats Lambert’s ass in the back seat. Should’ve listened to Eskel’s warning when they started the ride, and if he’s really hungry, he can have this knuckle sandwich Eskel’s got waiting for him.
😌 💕 i feel so loved, thank youu
and might I say, you have a Very Big Brain
also 👉👈 Im sorry for the weird ask format bc uh somehow I deleted the original draft but was able to screenshot the ask bc.. long story, ANYWAYS
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A/N: this will be slightly divergent from my previous baby!Lamb fics. (But only because I briefly mentioned Geralt in my last one)
A/N 2.0: im gonna start doing page breaks for my fics bc it’ll be easier organization
• General
• Fluff
• Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt
• Wolf Pup Shenanigans
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I’m working on a longer fic at the moment but I needed a break so here’s some soft comfort
summary: Eskel and Geralt discover that Lambert likes to wear dresses, modern au
—
All the brothers had keys to each other’s apartments. It was common practice to pop over every so often to share a beer, buy takeout, and watch shitty B movies, especially when one of them was having a bad day. That was how Geralt and Eskel found themselves at Lambert’s door. Aiden’s car was missing; he was probably still at work which meant that Lambert was home alone, probably sulking. The garage, more specifically his manager, had been a right asshole all week but today’s behavior led to the brothers getting an angry text that just read “I’M QUITTING” before Lambert stopped answering his phone. They knew he wouldn’t quit; he loved the garage, loved his customers, and he had a soft spot for it since it was where he first met Aiden when the man had crashed his bike and needed repairs. Lambert wouldn’t leave, but he would be in a foul mood all night if they let him to it. Of course it was time to intervene.
Eskel unlocked the door and they let themselves in. They’d brought beer for Eskel and Lambert, rum for Geralt (who was famously quoted as saying beer tasted like “feet” when he was drunk, something they never let him live down). Geralt had a variety of Lambert’s favorite chinese food with him, and as they set everything down on the coffee table they heard scurrying from the bathroom. Like someone frantically running from one room to the next.
“Lambert? Get your ass out here, we’re having fun tonight!” Geralt called. The man emerged a moment later wrapped in a robe.
“Why are you wearing Aiden’s robe?” Eskel questioned.
“Cold,” Lambert sniffed. Both men arched an eyebrow at him; while it was true that Lambert always seemed to have trouble keeping himself warm, it was a blisteringly hot day and his AC was, for the third time that summer, broken.
“Suuuure,” Geralt clicked his tongue. “Whatcha wearing under that robe?”
“Nothing!” Lambert almost looked angry, but they knew him well enough to see the embarrassment barely hidden beneath the surface.
“C’mon Lambert, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not that bad.”
Lambert seemed to consider that for a moment, hands twitching around the waist of the robe. “Okay…but if you laugh I swear to fuck I will end you both!”
His brothers nodded, and a second later Lambert dropped the robe dramatically to the ground, with more confidence than he seemed to be feeling. If they were expecting something ridiculous, they were only mildly disappointed to find that that wasn’t the case. Lambert stood before them in a mid-thigh length dress, black lace overlapping creamy satin fabric. The dress was form-fitting, scope-necked, and the slightly looser sleeves fell off his shoulders, softening the muscles there.
“It was a joke,” he said quickly. “Aiden wanted to film one of those ridiculous tik-tack thingies and I needed to make sure it fit.” Both men knew that he was lying, but they figured they’d bring him along slowly.
“If this is Aiden’s idea of a joke, he may need to rethink his design. I don’t see a joke in front of me,” Eskel smiled softly.
“Actually,” Lambert muttered, looking guilty. “It…it wasn’t Aiden’s idea. I, um…”
“You like it,” Geralt finished helpfully. “And you should. Looks good on you.”
Lambert visibly relaxed, body releasing all of that built up tension. “So you don’t mind then? That I- that I like this sort of thing?”
“Of course not.” Eskel started rummaging through one of the bags and pulled out a beer. “Come on, these are getting cold. Join us!”
Hesitantly Lambert grabbed the beer, popped the cap and took a few big gulps. His brothers started to unpack the food, making no attempt to ogle him or question why he wasn’t going to remove the dress. So he just didn’t. He sat next to them, dress and all, and put on The Velocipastor.
happy maslenitsa!
commissions are open
Hi, I was wondering if you had any tips about writing Lambert? I have a story idea I want to write but I'm worried about not getting his character right. I really love the way you write him.
Hi, Anon. I’ll do my best to break down some of my main thoughts on Lambert. I’d like to write a disclaimer first: everyone is entitled to their interpretations of characters. No two people read a text or consume media in the same way, so these are my personal reflections based on the evidence I’ve seen.
TW: canonical child abuse; personal headcanons based on interpretation of media you may disagree with. Spoilers for games and books.
TLDR: Lambert is a prickly asshole with a heart. That heart is loyal and wants a place to belong (a literal place, or with a person), but said heart is covered in scars and open wounds from how the world has treated it. His main defence mechanism is sarcasm. He has a complex relationship with both Vesemir and Kaer Morhen. He will step up to defend those he loves without a second thought. He shows affection by teasing/rudeness/insults; this is generally on a scale of brutal to gentle with no real logic or predictability (and he expects it back). ‘Lambert, Lambert, what a prick’ = aww, Geralt loves me.
Lambert is a man that suffers from trauma and has never had a chance to heal from it. His prickliness isn’t unfounded.
“Along the way all the differences between Geralt and his younger comrade were exposed in sharp contrast. Sparks flew between them more than once, and biting commentary and barbed remarks were the order of the day. Geralt tolerated Lambert's prickliness with admirable stoicism, for he knew that the younger witcher's famous sarcasm served only to cover his many deeply-felt, never-healed wounds.” - Journal Entry, Witcher 3.
This was my initial framework for Lambert. Lambert was abused physically by his father and witnessed the abuse of his mother. His formative years taught him that people are cruel and not to be trusted. Just when he thought he was free - his father fell into a nest of Nekkers - he was then seized by witchers and made to suffer more. So, not only are people cruel, but life is cruel too.
I always write him with a certain level of cynicism/pessimism. If you expect life to fuck you over, then you’ll never be disappointed when it inevitably does. - Rawr.
If you choose the right dialogue options, you learn that he returned to exact his revenge upon being released from Kaer Morhen (Geralt doesn’t ask for any details).
There are other facets to his personality that can originate from his background: he doesn’t trust easily, he plays the class clown because it’s a way for him to feel like he belongs without showing weakness/his heart (e.g. the hat), and...
His view of the world can seem a bit ‘black and white’. He doesn’t share Geralt’s hero complex and can come across as callous.
During ‘No Place Like Home’, the witchers discuss contracts. Lambert talks about a contract where he was hired to kill a monster that was attacking freight. It ended up being a forest troll chilling in a forest and bandits attacking the wagons. He killed the bandits and the troll (sentient and relatively intelligent). Why? He needed the coin to survive and that’s what he got hired for.
He’s also quick to resort to killing, i.e. the people involved (even if not directly) with Aiden’s murder (perhaps forgivable), and the mountain trolls on the way to the Circle of Elements (less forgivable). He clearly views being a witcher more like mercenary work than a ‘knightly’ calling with rules and morals.
I believe his views on ‘witcher neutrality’ would be quite complex. I don’t think Lambert would have hesitated in killing Stregobor (”The sorcerer did what, Renfri? Let’s fuck him up”), but I also don’t think he would have had qualms killing the Sylvan outright. It was his contract, after all.
Just because he’s an asshole, doesn’t mean he’ll tolerate injustice/other people being dickheads. He will make sure you pay for your fuckery. He doesn't suffer fools.
I love this about Lambert. He will call people out on their bullshit and, if he can, they will be punished. I’ve pulled out my two favourite examples.
Yennefer was an asshole when she arrived at Kaer Morhen, so he messed with her telescope by planting some crates of dimeritium bombs nearby.
[The gadget beeps like crazy near a crate stack.]
Geralt: Ahh. There you are. Disturbance is coming from there. What's in these crates?
Vesemir: Dimeritium bombs. Lambert made 'em.
Geralt: No wonder the megascope doesn't work. All right, gotta get 'em outta here.
This was confirmed by Yennefer when Geralt returned.
Geralt: You know... Lambert’s not exactly an expert on megascopes, so...
Yennefer: Please. Lambert is mean, not stupid.
He calls Triss out on her arrogance in Blood of Elves when she spends her stay treating the witchers as incompetent and belittling their meagre contributions to the world. Notably, he often calls Triss by her second name, ‘Merigold’, an indication of his disdain.
“Me, too,” Lambert grimaced. “And it’s not surprising—it’s a popular saying of late. It’s what kings say when it turns out that a modicum of brains is necessary to rule after all. It’s what merchants say when greed and stupidity have led them to bankruptcy. It’s what wizards say when they start to lose their influence on politics or income. And the person they’re speaking to should expect some sort of proposal straight away. So cut the introduction short, Triss, and present us with your proposition.” Blood of Elves, pg. 110.
His sense of justice is swift and brutal. He, of course, seeks vengeance for Aiden’s death in ‘Follow the Thread’, which we all know intimately well. Also, notably, he punishes some bandits using Axii.
Lambert shows affection with teasing/insults, and he enjoys it when it’s returned. However, he’s also capable of more ‘traditional’ affection, and it’s genuine. He is doggedly loyal to those he loves - Aiden, Ciri, Geralt and Eskel, particularly.
The young witcher is quarrelsome and has a biting tongue, though at times he uses rudeness to express his fondness for someone. - Price of Neutrality, Premium Module.
He’s a sarcastic guy. He’s also rude and abrasive, but he treats everyone equally. I like his relationship with Ciri the most (although I’ve seen a lot of people interpret this less generously), but I think @childoffantasy summarised my thoughts more concisely than I: he’s the fun uncle that will be a bit of a dick, tease you, but actually talk to you, not just awkwardly ask you how school is and shuffle off. He genuinely cares for Ciri (he's the one who corrects her table manners, tries to tell Triss that she’s just another orphan of war and thus not of interest to the Chapter).
“You’re a girl. Girls don’t have brains.”
“Lambert! If Triss heard that!”
“If ifs and ands were pots and pans. All right, that’s enough. Come down. We’ll take a break.”
“I’m not tired!”
“But I am. I said, a break. Come down from the comb.”
“Turning a somersault?”
“What do you think? Like a hen off its roost? Go on, jump. Don’t be afraid, I’m here for you.”
“Haaaa!”
“Nice. Very good - for a girl. You can take off the blindfold now.”
He stepped up to fight for Ciri against the Wild Hunt without question (expecting to die; we see him brewing his ‘farewell feast’ before we head off to the Circle of Elements).
While drinking with Geralt, Lambert calls him a blowhard but tells him he’d go to hell and back for him. He means it.
Other fun things:
I love the headcanon that Lambert likes to dress up, and he finds it hot when others do too.
He is intelligent. Like, really intelligent (enough to earn Yennefer’s respect). I always have him as good with the more scientific part of being a witcher; bombs, alchemy. It’s fun to think that he improved some of the decoction and potion formulae.
Linked to the above, Lambert has to survive as a witcher through his wits and skill. He’s not twice-grassed like Geralt, or gifted with Signs like Eskel. He is competent, hardworking, cunning and intelligent. With thanks to @cassandrasartworld.
He likes animals, but he has issues with getting attached to things because nothing’s permanent and life is cruel.
He uses bombs to fish, because he’s just so feckin’ extra.
Common Pitfalls:
[Disclaimer: these are things I dislike seeing/have done in the past and developed beyond, but I must reiterate - write characters how you want/view them; it is your story].
Writing him as just an asshole. This doesn’t really show appreciation for the reasons why Lambert is the way he is nor the nuance behind the way he interacts with different people.
Too much swearing. I’m guilty of this, and sometimes it’s fun to write! But don’t lose his intelligence amongst the ‘fucks’. He is a clever fucking bloke, alright?
Twink No. 2. At the moment, I see him filling the gap for Jaskier in some stories and encounters, which is disappointing. Always ask: can I replace this character with someone else and would the interaction be the same? If the answer’s yes, then review the scene.
It’s nice to soften characters right up, but sometimes it’s more challenging/rewarding if the character isn’t soft. If he makes a shit decision, or he’s a bit abhorrent. Soft!Bert is really nice, but morally dubious Bert is also very fun.
I hope this has been helpful. It’s by no means exhaustive, but these are the things I’ve hashed out as I’ve developed my understanding of the character. There are some great Lambert writers out there, and I have to thank the Cake Shop and all attached personages for helping me grow as a writer. I’m always looking to ‘write characters better’, so you’ll probably see my characterisation continue to change and evolve.
Also, it’s okay for Lambert to ‘grow as a person’ in your story. If you’re going to write something where the lad can do a bit of healing? Of course he’s going to be subtly different.
Good luck, Anon! Please feel free to tag me when you’re done.
An addition: this thread contains lots of amazing thoughts from a huge variety of writers. It’s well worth looking through all the reblogs and comments.
Adult Eskel still sometimes bunking with Papa Ves after a nightmare
I don’t think we talk about the wolfs getting nightmares enough. Which is reasonable, nightmares suck and normally you’d just turn the pillow over to the cold side and snuggle right back in, but for the boys? They’ve been through a lot, a Witcher’s life is not easy peasy. Not even just the life they live as a witcher, the time before trails? I don’t think that was a good time either.
Nightmares after experiencing a traumatic event is way more common. I think at after coming home to KM, all these events and regrets and decisions come back up, most of the nights there Eskel is probably in Vesemir’s room, along with the others too I’m sure.
I also think that instead of being able to just, go right back to sleep, they all talk. Papa Ves would talk about his favourite things they all use to do, like Eskel use to welcome new boys home as soon as meeting them, greeting them with rocks that match their eyes, getting cool sticks and carving their initials in it before throwing it as far as they can. Lamb was probably really quite as first and would poke and tug people’s pant leg to get things and no one could say no to him, Geralt would go around with a small blanket around his shoulders playing “hero”, the good stuff to remember.
I’m not a furry BUT… I just think they should kiss. Who doesn’t love a homoerotic relationship with their god!!!
