The Weeping Cherry Blossom

The weeping cherry blossom

Eddie Alette x GN Reader Hanahaki AU

[ Eddie belongs to @xoxoalette ]

CW- Angst, Mentions of blood, gore, death, and insinuation of murder. And slightly ooc Eddie :3 word count- 1607

This was absurd. And this was getting out of hand.

Eddie Alette tried to regulate his breathing, focusing on the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. To calm his traitorous heart that seemed to have a mind of its own around you. Surely, you weren’t so ignorant right? Surely, you must hear the persistent crunch of his jaw clenching and unclenching. How had you not noticed the crease between his brows that he bore like the first cracks on his fine statuesque face?

The lecture today seemed to stretch. The professor’s voice was nothing but a distant echo buried under the tidal wave of your cloying presence beside him. The cold late winter breeze hurtled in through a window nearby and kissed your skin, making the dusting of pink on your cheeks more prominent and Eddie felt the firm jolt of something deep within his chest settle its roots.

A choke…a cough…and a loud desperate swallow of air, made him sit up straighter in alarm and swear under his breath. Clutching a hand to his mouth, he resisted the urge to hurl when he tasted the vanilla and oranges on the flirty breeze that had sifted through your locks and attacked his senses.

He could feel it coming. It fluttered in his throat like dread, bile and the sickening sweetness that enveloped each pore on his body, slowly smothering him with every gulp of air he heaved.

Unable to take it anymore, he hurriedly rose from his seat.The legs of the chair scraped roughly on the ground, before it hit the floor with a loud clatter. He had to escape now or else everyone would know. Even worse, you would know, and he simply wouldn't have it.

Your eyes and several others’ snapped towards the silver haired man who was frantically shoving his belongings in his backpack as if possessed.

“Mr.Alette, any problems?” the professor inquired brusquely.

“Yes” he spat, mismatched eyes flitting to yours and holding them captive as he conveyed a multitude of things he hated about you, through his withering glare alone. 

With some effort, he broke eye contact and looked towards the lecturer who grew impatient, the longer this interruption lasted, “I’m feeling woozy. Suffocated” he muttered and you rolled your eyes at the barely concealed jab at your expense.

“Alright you're excused” the old professor waved a hand dismissing Eddie and jumped back where he had left off. 

Yet your attention was stolen. Your gaze never broke its silent vigil of the man whom you were partnered with for an assignment. The man who never hid his distaste with your general presence.

The man who intrigued yet irritated you to no ends. 

‘Would it kill him to smile sometimes?’ you mused, lips pursed as you watched him leave.

Little did you know, if Eddie ever let that first bloom of a loving smile touch his lips, he would not be the only one dying that day.

* * *

Weeks. It had been weeks since that unfateful day, when you were partnered with him by the professor for the assignment. He had hemmed and hawed but still somehow managed to tolerate your presence just fine until that evening.

If he could pinpoint the exact second where it all went downhill, he would sell his soul to go back in time and end this right then and there. 

End you.

It would be easier wouldn't it? Perhaps it would be better than lying in a mess of his own blood. Congealed with sakura petals that clung to his bare chest, a pathetic evidence of his love for you.

Love. The term tasted bitter on his tongue, and it disgusted him to feel his chest ache each time you were around. What was it about you that made him want to cherish yet obliterate every memory he held of you?

It was a hard thing for Eddie to come to terms with the first time it happened. His mismatched eyes had squinted and burned holes into the X-ray his doctor had handed him after running all the necessary tests.

“You’re dying Mr.Alette” he had stated bluntly, “It's a rare condition, not incurable but still painful” the wizened man had looked at Eddie with such pity that he wanted to do nothing but to hunt you down and show you, just how much he loved you at that moment.

The thought had tickled his fancy and taken up his imagination on several occasions between slow hours at work. More so than he liked to admit. Would you scream, cry or silently take the pain he would inflict on you? 

Would you then understand the way his lungs burned each time the flowery blooms surged up his throat and took an ounce of his life with them? Will you sympathize with the way his heart contracted within its cage and begged to be held by you?

Will you…would you…then love him back?

Eddie sank further into his bed, his snowy lashes fluttered gently as he stared absently at the ceiling of his room, haunted by these incessant questions rattling in his mind.

Autumn had fallen for the cold caress of winter and winter soon melted for the new blush of spring, yet the raging war between his mind and heart never seemed to find its victor.

On some days he hated you. With a vile pettiness for not loving him back. And on others he loved you so passionately that he happily wanted to wilt away as the tree of your love bloomed and spread its branches within his chest. 

* * *

Summer was soon approaching and Eddie was at his limits. The episodes had increased tenfold making him weaker than ever.

So as he sat crouching beside the tub in his bathroom, body trembling with the amount of blood and petals he had hurled, a bitter laugh escaped him. The cruel reality of his feelings surged like wild tears to his glinting eyes and threatened to choke him with the beautiful pain again.

He bit back a sigh and rested his head on the cold tiled wall. The air sneaked in from underneath the door and cooled the beads of sweat rolling down his head and chest. 

With a shaky grip on his phone, and a finality about him Eddie dialed a number.

* * *

Warm sunlight filtered through the gaps between the shades lining the window of the hospital room. Eddie’s hair was splayed upon the pillow like a silver halo. Beautiful eyes blinked slowly as they adjusted to the brightness in the room.

He could hear the faint murmur of a conversation between his sister and the doctor as they discussed when he was to be discharged.

His body was spry. He felt lighter than ever, yet something weighed heavy on his subconscious mind. That gnawing feeling of forgetting something important, made it difficult for him to rest well. 

He knew that he was sick. Remembered that he had undergone surgery. But there seemed to be a gaping hole in his memories surrounding his illness.

 No matter the amount of times he pestered Diva about his memory loss, she would evasively change the subject. Or would parrot the doctor and tell him that this was normal and he was experiencing the side effects of his treatment.

He didn't notice the way she quietly slid a polaroid into her purse, safely tucking it away from his sight. For Diva simply didn't have the heart to tell him about the way they had to pry the picture from his fingers, as he was rushed into surgery.

About how she had found him, unconscious on his bathroom floor. The way he had desperately tried to remember you. Or the fact that his last call to you had gone straight to voicemail.

She had half a mind to find a secluded corner and burn that little picture to smoke. To wipe away the evening that had almost made her lose her brother. Later, Maybe when she had less pressing matters to attend to.

* * *

The summer break seemed like it would go on forever. Diva sighed as she rolled around in her bed, finding a comfortable position until she finally settled on her stomach. She continued flipping through her photo albums, occasionally pausing to coo and marvel at some silly or goofy pictures that caught her attention. The loud whirr of the lawn mower alerted her of Eddie’s presence outside in the garden.

Her brother had gone back to his normal, strict routine and jobs. He had taken more of them to fill the dent left behind by his surgery on his bank account. 

She hummed under her breath, until her fingers paused and her eyes found a polaroid with the bottom corner singed. A small smile tugged at her pouty lips as she thumbed along the edge of the photo.

It was a picture of Eddie. His eyes shone with amusement and a rare sweet grin adorned his lips as he looked upon your sleeping form on the table, seated next to him. 

You had come over for your assignment. And halfway through the evening, ended up dozing, clutching the ends of Eddie’s hoodie in your grasp, like a vice. Although stoic around you most times, Diva had caught her brother, watching you softly as you curled up in sleep, unaware.

She wasn't able to resist then, when she had sneakily captured the moment on her camera. And she wasn't able to entirely burn the picture, knowing that even though his memories of you were now gone, Eddie had still loved you. Loved you enough to throw his life away.

“The realization slowly seeps in, that no matter how hard we try, it’s always the flaws that they pay heed to. Somehow you can’t explain your feelings verbally, and somehow they don’t ever try to see past you.

Cause even after all the efforts to put it out, the heart still cowers and stays hidden within—Heavy with all the unsaid guilts, and a love unreached.”

"Autumnal Eternal"

"Walking down the pavement old,

more often I mused of the smile you wore.

Of the myriad of emotions you hid untold;

like a lost poem, imprinted on your soul.

Its words a fine day, I wish could learn;

For its forgotton rhyme had a beauty and yearn.

To burn on my memory and reflect on the heart;

like a folded away letter, from a lover miles apart.

The way your hand brushed 'gainst mine;

like a feather-kissed touch of the fleeting time.

The wind took me as our fingers entwined,

to a land of memories that outlasted time.

Yet here again on the pavement old;

I think of our story that was left untold.

Of the warm days and fall and cold,

and of the words I still retold.

I loved you then and I love you more;

For I left my heart to rest with you,

To beat with yours forevermore."

Since it’s Christmas, I had this fic floating around in my mind for sometime. So here’s [Redacted]’s Christmas Miracle. A little Christmas present for my fellow 14 days with you enthusiasts ^^

(This wonderful visual novel and characters belong to -@14dayswithyou )

[Redacted] x GN Reader

Word count- 1541 words

[Redacted]’s Christmas Miracle

It was Christmas Eve. The chilling air danced around [Redacted’s] form, biting and nipping at his exposed nose and ears. All his piercings felt cold on his face, numbing it in a way he liked.

He trudged towards the downtown bar, inconspicuously following a raucous group of friends from a safe distance. He didn’t have a hard time blending with the shadows, for he believed he had quite a forgettable appearance.

Sighing, he dumped a paper bag filled with contact lenses, hair extensions, and bar equipment into his black bag. He had lost count of the numerous personalities he had perfected and put on in the past few months.

[y/n]’s tastes kept changing as they went through phases, and he went along with their every preference, trying to fit into their fantasies and become someone that Angel noticed. [Redacted] would go to the ends of the earth for his Angel but the last personality was sure a pain to master.

It was during one of the multiple video chats with Moth earlier this month when [y/n] mentioned that they had recently developed a taste for cool and mysterious bartenders who were specifically, ‘brown-eyed, had slightly long dark hair, and performed cool tricks with cocktail-shakers’

Hence the brown lenses and the hair extensions. But [Redacted] winced when he remembered the endless nights spent trying to master the cocktail shaker tricks. All that effort and his Angel didn’t even notice him, save for a small polite ‘thank you’ that he knew they reserved for strangers.

He felt a little disheartened that this personality failed too. Nothing lately had been enough to grab [y/n]’s attention and he was itching to get closer to his Angel. To somehow be a part of their perfect little circle that he was always a spectator of.

He continued his slow pace, training his eyes on the only person that mattered in that group of friends. Or ‘fiends’ as [Redacted] liked to call them. Although he loved [y/n] unconditionally, sometimes he cannot help but question their taste in the people they chose to surround themselves with.

[Redacted] cursed fluently under his breath, “Why that handsy little piece of…” and balled his fists at his sides when he saw Teo playfully slap [y/n]’s bum, suddenly regretting not having brought his trusty sledgehammer together.

As they walked further down the street, it gradually became crowded with last-minute shoppers. For a short moment, [Redacted] ran into a big family walking towards the diner across the street. He lost sight of Angel and their friends, but due to his tall height towering over all the people, he lost no time as he spotted them in the gaggle of people.

A cold and wet sensation fluttered on his eyelids. One of the kids yelled, annoyingly tugging at his father’s coat, “Look! Look! Dad it’s snowinggggg” the kid said in a sing-song voice. [Redacted] looked up at the dark sky in wonder, “Oh, it’s snowing alright!” he murmured as if noticing his surroundings for the first time.

The atmosphere put a damper on [Redacted]’s already souring mood. He was not a holiday person, and these joyous festivities felt increasingly nauseating as he walked further down the street.

[Redacted] turned a corner, tailing Angel and their friends. A man dressed as Santa intercepted his silent vigil, grating on his nerves. Dangling a tiny candy-cane keychain, he spoke in that phony signature Santa voice, “Ho Ho Ho boy here, take this keychain for a dollar and make a wish…your little donation will help several homeless children.” the man demanded, eyeing him expectantly.

[Redacted]’s azure eyes volleyed between Angel and this darned man who seemed like he would not leave anytime soon.

Exasperated, he reached into his pocket and placed a dollar on the man’s outstretched palm—with more force than necessary—snatching the keychain from his grasp. He stuffed it deep into his jeans pocket and began moving towards the bar.

“Make a wish boy. Believe in the Christmas Miracle !” The phony Santa called after him. [Redacted] rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Miracle…as if”

The fact [Redacted] did not believe in miracles would be the understatement of the century. But he didn't know why...he foolishly wanted to believe in them...If only for today. Especially when his ocean eyes longingly traced the outline of Angel with their friends through the glass window from outside. They were sitting cozily inside a booth in the dimly lit bar.

He rubbed his hands together and pulled the hood of his hoodie on his head as he stood there in cold weather. The gentle snow covered his broad shoulders the longer he spent time outside. [Redacted] watched Angel’s antics with amusement, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

The clock was soon approaching midnight. Everyone geared up to welcome Christmas. Angel’s antics became wilder by the second as they slowly went from tipsy to a more drunken state. [Redacted]’s insides itched with anxiety. His protective tendencies flared watching [y/n] twirl around the expanse of the bar. Their friends only laughed at the sight, and Teo even had the gall to record them calling Angel a "terrible lightweight"

'Note to self-corrupt Teo's phone later', he mused with a cold smirk.[Redacted] heaved a frustrated sigh and resignedly decided to go inside and keep a closer watch. But just as he stepped inside the bar, a zooming figure crashed forcefully into his chest, knocking all air out of him.

With mild surprise, [Redacted] realized that it was [y/n] who had bumped into him. Tensed and a little shocked, [Redacted] steadied his little Angel with strong arms, and to his utter disbelief, [y/n] peered up at him, craning their neck at [Redacted]’s towering form.

[Redacted] was dumbstruck. His mind went blank as [y/n], his little adorable Angel, gave him a rare genuine smile. Although [Redacted] knew that his Angel was drunk, his heart still beat a mile a minute as he gawked at that beautiful little smile. His mind zeroed in on the fact that this smile was directed towards him. Not some personality that he had put on, but it was HIM, that they looked at like this.

He hung his head a little, feeling a bit self-conscious. But then his heart almost stopped, his breath hitched in his throat when Angel leaned in closer and traced the snake-bite piercings adorning his face, “These are pretty" they slurred in a cute voice.

“So, do you want to do it?” Angel asked, breaking [Redacted] out of his trance.

“D-Do w-what?” [Redacted] stammered his throat suddenly very dry.

“Oh we’ll have to do it…or else we’ll get bad luck.” [y/n] hiccupped, then yanked [Redacted] by the strings of his hoodie, winding them around their fingers as they pulled him in, mere inches apart from their face.

Reading the slightly alarmed expression on [Redacted]’s face, [y/n] chuckled as they whispered, teasing him a little, “I’m talking about the mistletoe silly..” they winked. And [Redacted] finally noticed the mistletoe hanging above their heads.

“WHOOP DRUNK [y/n] IS THE BEST [y/n] !!!!” Teo cheered in the background as Jae and Leon created a loud ruckus.

“YESS DARL SNOG HIM SENSELESS” Leon yelled too, sloshing around his beer on the table as he egged [y/n] on.

Gaining sudden confidence from all the cheering, Angel smirked smugly before they stood on their tippy toes and leaned in, kissing [Redacted] square on the mouth.

‘Am I dead? Is this what heaven feels like?’ [Redacted] wondered as [y/n]’s breath enveloped his senses. He could taste pineapples and coconuts on their breath.

‘So they had Piñacoladas’ he smiled.

But then his eyes widened when he felt [y/n] slip their tongue into his mouth. It was as if all coherence fled him when he closed his eyes. Giving in to indulgence, he gripped Angel by their waist, pulling them closer. A palm splayed at their back protectively, supporting them as another hand snaked around the nape of their neck, gaining traction as he angled them into a deeper kiss.

A minute passed and Angel broke the kiss in need of air, earning a low whine from [Redacted]. Their chest heaved in tandem. Angel's flushed face smiled at him before they whispered, “Wow…that was my first"

Angel pecked on [Redacted]’s lips one last time and retracted themselves from him. [Redacted]'s hands lingered on their shoulders a beat too long. He balked at the information dropped on him. ‘So it was their first kiss too? But they have always been so popular…’ he thought, marveling at his Angel with a starstruck expression.

The slow din of voices gradually came back, jolting [Redacted] out of this little moment. Angel's friends approached them and whisked them away as [Redacted] swiftly pulled his hood down, shielding his face.

“See you around..” Angel trailed off, waving their fingers at [Redacted], stepping outside into the chilly night air.

For the first time in forever, a big goofy smile broke onto [Redacted]’s face as he stood in the afterglow of that first kiss. It was beautiful and nothing like he had ever imagined. He pushed his hands deep inside his jeans pockets and began following the group when his fingers curled around the candy-cane keychain resting inside.

A mysterious smile bloomed across his face as he wondered, ‘Sometimes miracles do exist’. Trudging along the snowy road, watching his Angel from afar, the atmosphere didn't feel so gloomy anymore

“What we could’ve been”

It's still not out of my system. Whenever my train of thought is off track, I find it dangerously close to the off-limits section in my mind. Why do I have to torture myself so much? It's as if I'm secretly a masochist and I start wandering through painful territory, knowing full well that what's about to come, is going to give my feelings a huge blow.

Nevertheless, I keep pushing my boundaries, stretching them to the ultimate breaking point every time I delve into the sea of faded moments.

It's a poison I willingly take a sip of and each drop never fails to impress me. I slowly die inside every time I look at you. Your love, your dimpled smile, the way you flicked your hair to the side and slyly smirked at me every time you caught me staring. And I'm undone. The wicked tears betray me and the dull pang in my chest reminds me of the mistake—of the sin I commit every time I go hunting for our repressed memories. It pushes and pulls, hums and throbs, in hypnotizing rhythms and I succumb.

I succumb to the wants of my heart. I am a fiend for this emotion you evoke in me. An addict of the pain it brings me. And I thrive off of the sadness that stabs across my chest, struggling to escape. Because it's when I feel these emotions, all the voices, moments, and memories playing like a trance in my mind, I know it was real. That I did not make it all up. That every fight, every tear, and every embrace we shared was real. And the seamless pain is a beautiful reminder of it all. Of the messy, toxic, passionate love we shared. And even if regret is the only feeling left in my heart, I would never take it back. I would never change anything between us, even if it meant, I'd be nursing and nurturing the wounds you dealt me, for the rest of my life. All because I am in love with the past—with the simple idea of what we had and what we could've been.

Prism

If I were to give a color to my emotions they would be white. Blindingly white. The all consuming white, that holds the green of envy, the blue of sadness and the red of anger. The pink of my love hides shyly under the black of my fears. They lay dormant under the plainness of white. Yet the only one capable of bringing them out is you. Holding the prism of my heart in your hands. And watching me break apart like a rainbow in your palm.