This Is My Submission For That Tiktok Series On Theories To How Jaskier Hasn't Aged

This is my submission for that tiktok series on theories to how Jaskier hasn't aged

Prompt 89

Geralt might be a fool. He confides in Jaskier one night about how he doesn't know how to court someone, and the normal ways of "courting" don't seem like things he can do and/or the one he wants to court would enjoy. The issue is that Jaskier is the one he wants to court, and he's asking Jaskier. Jaskier tells a story of one time a man tried courting him. The man loved to bake, it was his passion, and he baked many treats and loaves for Jaskier. Cakes and tarts and cookies and bread in Jaskier's favorite flavors, sometimes even in the shapes of music notes or hearts. Including Jaskier in on it all meant so much to Jaskier, and he said if he were to ever truly be courted one day, he'd want something similar. Jaskier loved the man sharing his passions with Jaskier. Incorporating Jaskier into the man's day-to-day life and interests was heartwarming and it showed off how they were ready and willing to compromise to add the bard into their life. He hopes that if Geralt begins courting him, Geralt will just include him on things Geralt likes and is passionate about. Like horses or sketching monsters or something. A ride in he forest, or drawing monsters together would be quite lovely! Unfortunately, Geralt got hung up on the 'baking' part of the story and is just sure that the way to Jaskier's heart is to bake him treats. The only issue is that Geralt SUCKS at baking. His brownies are more likely to kill Jaskier than do anything else. Those cookies are burned into bricks, and he doesn't even know what that is on the counter.

Prompt 88

Geralt and Jaskier are both SLOSHED. Jaskier very drunkenly reveals he's in love with Geralt. Geralt smiles and gives him a lil kiss, with a soft "me too". Geralt wakes up hungover and is just SURE Jaskier shared a secret with him last night and he can't fucking remember what it is. For the life of him, he can't. It was something big and meaningful, he's sure, so why can't he fucking remember what it was!? Jaskier wakes up hungover and is just SURE he shared a secret to Geralt last night, but which fucking one?

Prompt 87

Geralt has learned in his many years on the path, that he can't smile like other people. Humans have been disgusted or more often than not afraid of his smile. So he doesn't smile. But Jaskier looks to him one day with a sigh and asks "Why don't you ever smile at me?" and it flicks a switch in his brain. He starts practicing whenever he has a reflection he can see, but he can't get it to look right. Certainly not as pretty or approachable as Jaskier's smile. It always looks like a snarl. A baring of fanged teeth. An uncomfortable grimace. The more he tries to have a nice smile, the more he's sure it's impossible, and the more sure he is that Jaskier should never see it. He'd be so disappointed, Geralt thinks.

Prompt 86

In a modern world, Geralt houses Roach in a public stable. They treat her well when he's out, she enjoys it. It's all good. Until the stables call him one day to tell him Roach is acting weird. He's already racing back to his beloved horse when they call back to let him know it's because she's missing her boyfriend. Huh? Her what? Apparently she's been really attached to this stallion named "Pegasus" recently. Really? His baby girl is in love with a 'Pegasus'? Geralt is minutes away from tearing his hair out. A week later, Geralt is getting her out of her stall, when he glances over and sees Pegasus. He can tell it's Pegasus by the way Roach is acting, but also because of the ridiculous tack he's wearing. All bright colors and special embroideries and fucking sequins. He doesn't know what he expected from the person who owns Pegasus. He was tied between a preteen girl and a woman too old to still ride. When he bumps into a man dressed in an outrageously yellow outfit, with rainbow nail polish, and stupidly cute hair, he admits he was a little shocked. Not by it being a man in a horrific outfit, nonono, by the man in a horrific outfit being attractive. "Oh! Are you the owner of Roach? I hear they're great friends!" Fuck. He and his daughter have the same type in men.

Prompt 82

You may be asking yourself after a night with no prompts, @geraskierfanficprompts, did you die? And the answer is, no, I only half-died (as in slept. For like 16 hours. I do not think I am well.) BUT ANYWHO LETS GOOOO Geralt is captured by Nilfgard, or whatever VOTW you want, it's up to whoever writes it, as always my dears, but without changes to the prompt, it would make most sense post-mountain Nilfgaard <3 Geralt knows Yennefer is expecting him back sooner, and because he didn't make it back in time, he knows damn well that Yennefer is currently tracking him down and will get him out. He just has to endure. He just has to wait it out. No matter what they say or do to Geralt however, he's not budging on any information. They remark that they have a way to get him to talk. Doesn't matter what they do. He just has to endure. He just has to wait it out. But then they shove in another person in chains, and when the person looks up, Geralt feels his heart drop to his stomach. "Jaskier.." "..Geralt." His hair is longer, and he's grown some stubble. He holds himself with much less confidence, and his eyes look weary and tired. They force Jaskier into a chair in front of Geralt, and Geralt can't even think of the implications he's so happy to see his bard, alive and well. ... Well-ish, he supposes. "Feel like sharing anything now, Witcher?" One asks, and Geralt suddenly comes back to reality, realizing their plan. Before he can even say anything, Jaskier laughs. A full-bellied, proper cackle, even throwing his head back for a moment. "As if! You truly made asses of yourselves! Geralt couldn't care less about me!" They grip Jaskier's hair and tug his head back. "Shut up, before we do it for you." "If you kill me, You'll only be doing both Geralt and me a favor." Jaskier says with a smile, and the man growls and sinks a knife into Jaskier's shoulder. "He's bluffing!" the man yells. Jaskier lets out a horrible little pained gasp at the knife, and his head falls forward as he starts to tear up. "I don't care if there's nothing of the bard left when you finish, as long as you get the butcher fucking talking!" Geralt is panicking. Not that anyone could tell. The rules were to endure. To wait. Yennefer can get him out. But sweet, poor, innocent Jaskier is about to be brutalized the more Geralt doesn't say. Even if he could endure, if he could wait, knowing deep down if he does nothing that it's safer for them, that they'll be saved, he knows he won't be able to. Because it's his Jaskier. He finally found him again, and his bard truly, genuinely believes Geralt would feel nothing but joy upon the minstrel's death. Geralt needs to get his bard out NOW, and he needs to make it all okay again. He needs to tell his Bard everything, he needs to apologize, he needs to kiss him, he needs to smell him happy and content again, he needs- The man stabs a knife into Jaskier's arm, making Jaskier shriek in agony. He needs to kill some people.