it's my drama. appreciate my flaws & learn from my mistakes. it's okay to cry your heart out but don't forget that there's always a second chance. be strong but don't forget to be yourself. you can be wild and carefree but don't forget to be serious at times. oh remember to laugh too! life is amazing and unfair at the same time... deal with it even if it's not the reality that you wanted!
300 posts
Minsan Sinasabi Ko Na Lang Sa Sarili Ko Na Strong Akong Tao At Malalampasan Ko Ito. Kaya Lang Minsan
minsan sinasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko na strong akong tao at malalampasan ko ito. kaya lang minsan di na umeepekto eh. ganun ata talaga.
walang taong strong pag dating sa taong pinakakamahal mo lalo na kung siya ang mundo mo and he/she means everything to you.
More Posts from Iamkakasince1991
Day46 of this battle: i am all alone now.
She left me. She left me. She left me. It is so unfair! I wish everything did not happened. It is all too much. I do not know if i can still make it because the only person who loves me left me. I will never get to see her, talk to her, hug her, kiss her. She didn't me a chance to let her know how much i love her. She left me. I wasn't able to tell her that i miss her so much and that i really love her. I wasn't able to see her for the last time. I wasn't to say my sorry. She left me. I am so afraid right now. I do not know what i should do now. I only want to be with her. I wanna go to Philippines right now. I want to bring stop the time andgo back to the past when we were still together. Unlike now, there is nothing left for me. She left me. I still have a lot of things to tell her. I still have plans i want to do to make her happy. I still want to see her, hear her laugh or even yell at me, talk to her before we sleep, eat her food, feel how much she loves me. But i don't think it is still possible. She left me now. I am alone now. We lost her battle. I am so angry at myself for not being there for her until the last time. I am so useless. I hate myself for not doing anything for her. What's the use of crying if i can't see her anymore?! What is the meaning of living this life when the reason is already gone? Tell me what i should do after this. What should i do when she left me already???
Day 21 of this battle: the diagnosis.
The traitor, cancer, is my enemy. Stage 4 of colon cancer. Why???? Why does this have to happen to Umpe?? She doesn't deserve this! She doesn't need to suffer because all her life she gave up everything until nothing is left for her self. Why is God being so unfair to her? Why does God kept giving her challenges? She doesn't need them. Umpe does not deserve it. Nobody does! What will happen now? Every seconds, i feel like i am running out of time to spend with her. Me being a thousand miles away from Umpe kills me. I wish I am next to her. I want to be there for her. I want to take care of her. I don't want to lose more chances of being with her. I want to spend more memories with her. I have to be there for her. We will win this battle. We have to. And i will make sure of it.
the phone call after i got the news
as much as i want to be happy i wasn't able to control my emotions during those short minutes of call. my mom told me beforehand not to cry so i kept telling myself not to cry. i prolly had some sobs escape from me, tears kept flowing good thing she can't see them, some sniffing were heard but thank God she didn't ask about it. i was not strong enough to face her, to face this battle but at least i tried my best to get into that front. during that short call, she said she's feeling better. much better than last week. we talked about her health and how she is doing. i can't help myself not to worry coz i am not beside her. i kept telling her to take her meds and things i know will help her. we also talked about the fiesta going on today and she said it is different from before. she said 'hindi na masaya kagaya ng dati' and i replied, ' kasi wala ako jan'. She said 'oo nga'. Oh God i was really gonna cry at that moment buti na lang my mom sat beside me. Sniff lang ako ng sniff. Trying hard to held back those tears. Towards the end of our call, she said she'll tell my cousins to go on skype later so she can see us & vice versa. Idk if i'll be excited to let her see how devastated i am right now. But one thing is for sure, i can't wait to see her smile for me later. Hopefully, walang iiyak mamaya. I love you Umpe and i will always do. Please be healthy! I want to see you smiling & hear you laughing or telling stories. Take care, Umpe ko.
Day31 of this battle: Mom is flying!
It has been almost a month now. I have no news about Umpe for a week now. I believe I chose not to ask too because I was afraid to know what is really going on. I busied myself with my homework and helping mom packed her things. I guess it was a breather for me too. But now i feel guilty. I wanna call and ask how she's doing. I wanna hear that she's doing a lot better now though i know it is not like that... Good thing my mom is on her way to Batangas now. This gives me a sigh of relief and makes me worry less for Umpe's condition. I know mommy's gonna do everything for her. I believe my mommy. I bet she's currently up in the clouds somewhere above the Pacific Ocean... I can't help but to get excited for her. She's finally going to see everyone after four long years. She will finally get to hug UMPE!!! I wonder if mommy's as excited as I am... How i wish i was next to her so i can hold her hand and tell her to be strong and it will be okay. I know this trip will cause a lot of tears and hurtful memories not only to mommy but also to UMPE. I believe mommy is going to break the news to her so she can get the surgery to remove the big lump on her colon. I wish UMPE will be okay and will allow mommy to help her through this battle. I hope she'll decide to fight and win over this. I am just giving it all up to GOD and praying He will stay by their side all the time, provide them the strength they'll be needing and a miracle for UMPE to stay healthy and happy again. Mommy, please make Umpe happy when you get there. Pleasw hug her for me to let her know how much i love her and i miss her. Please give Umpe a great memory she deserves. Lastly, please take good care of her while you are there... I love you both! *kisses*
Day 43 of this battle: i'm praying for her fast recovery.
I just got the news that Umpe had her surgery. Now, i know why i was feeling so uneasy last night. I just hope everything went well for her and sana she'll have a fast recovery. Ninang Carol told me she had a fever last night. Nanginginig pa nga daw ang Umpe eh. Hay kelan kaya aayos ang lahat? She does not deserve all of this! Sana Umpe is doing and feeling better na. I trust my mom and i believe they are doing all their best to make Umpe feel better amd comfortable. Sana. Sana. God, Kayo na po bahala magpagaling sa Umpe. Huwag nyo po sya hahayaang magsuffer. Pabilisin nyo po ang recovery nya. Let her know na mahal na mahal ko sya. And i would really love to be by her side right now. Paramdam nyo po sa Umpe na nag-woworry ako sa knya pra magpagaling agad sya. Paramdam nyo din po sa knya na gusto ko tlga xang gumaling agad at makita ulit sya na healthy. Mahal na mahal ko po ang Umpe. Gusto ko lng nman po eh ung makabubuti sa knya. God, heal her agad and kunh may sakit man syang nararamdaman ipasa nyo na lang po sa akin ng mabawasan ung suffering nya. God, kayo muna po bahala sa Umpe ko ha. Umpe, pagaling ka kaagad! Palakas ka and be healthy! Mahal na mahal kita! Magkikita din tayo.