Jason : *Talking About His Kill Count*

Jason : *Talking about his kill count*

Bruce : *Thinks Damian’s kill count is the highest*

Dick : *Thinks Jason’s kill count is the highest*

*Tim and Damian looking at each other from across the room*

Tim and Damian : …

Damian : *murmurs* Fuck

Dick : WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

Damian : I SAID FUCK

Tim : Where are you going?

Jason : Hell most likely

Dick : *Horrified*

Damian : Snort*

Everyone : Tim is the blasé child.

Tim : What they don’t know can’t hurt them.

*Cue Tim saying Batman doesn’t have friends, blowing up Ra’s bases, hiring a rando person to act as his uncle, clone his bestie, etc, etc”

Everyone : *Oblivious*

I wasn’t too sure about Barbara but alas—

Anyways, when I saw the ‘Is god’ section I knew I had to put Alfred.

Also— Dick is talking about a different god, ofc. That’s his emotional support gramps.

Tim : You Dumbass!

Dick : I didn’t t screw up that much!

Tim : The GCPD is hunting you down, you did screw up that much.

Tim : We’re dead, and if we don’t die here, Bruce and Alfred are going to kill us.