What Did You Mean In Your Ghost Post When You Said Wouldnt Be The First Time A Dream Wasnt A Dream?

What did you mean in your ghost post when you said “wouldn’t be the first time a dream wasn’t a dream”?

Girl you be having visions or something??

(can you do one for me because bitch, I need help 😂)

Also I am so sorry for your loss, especially with the anniversary coming up. That must have made the holidays hard the last few years 😔

I’m at peace with it today, oddly. The loss. It’s been 2 years now, and I’ve been dreading today ever since the calendar changed to December, but today came and…nothing. Peace, calmness, relaxation. It’s been much needed.

Now, on to the dreams.

I wouldn’t say I have like, visions or premonitions. Just weird things happen sometimes that correlate to waking life.

The best example I can give you is several, oddly enough, Christmases ago. I don’t remember what I dreamt before it, but I woke to a sharp pain and what sounded like a gunshot. It was just after 2am, and my heart was pounding and the sound echoed in my head. I rubbed my chest where I had the pain and was just so confused.

When we were gathered around waiting to start opening presents, I mentioned it to my parents. My dad had worked a 24hr shift and got off at 7 that morning, and he gave my mom a strange look when I mentioned the sound and pain. It turns out that at 2am in his coverage area, 2 brothers were shot. In the chests. DOA.

To say I was spooked is an understatement. My parents, especially my mom, didn’t call me crazy or anything like that, because she’s had similar experiences. For example: if someone is heavily on her mind, she reaches out to them and sure enough, they’re in a bad way, in the hospital, or have died suddenly. She also used to see a blue flash of light at the corner of her eye while on the road, and sure enough a cop would be ahead. Usually this only happened when speeding was envolved. Once, after my parents married, it was a red flash. Sure enough, a couple miles ahead a wreck had happened with an engulfed vehicle, and fire and EMS was on the scene. It doesn’t happen as often anymore, just occasionally. I think it’s sorta been passed down to me, but in a different way. I’ll get a strange feeling and ask whoever’s driving how fast they’re going. Usually they’re speeding, and I mention slowing down. Whether they heed my advice or not, a cop isn’t too far ahead. Came in handy riding with my best friend to and from school in high school; he always sped.

Anyway, that’s my family weirdness!

You guys, please pray for me, or send good thoughts and vibes my way.

I think I am having a psychotic breakdown. I was up the last 2 nights unable to sleep because I just absolutely could not make myself feel safe. I kept seeing people—full figured, defined—in whatever room I was in, walking into them and I’d turn to fully look at them and they’d not be there. My brother came into the kitchen and I nearly threw my drink because it scared me so bad. I hadn’t heard him coming. I refused to have the lights off. I heard footsteps and knocks and all sorts of things. A couple of times I heard voices that did NOT belong to my family. I stayed awake until the birds started chirping and the sky outside started getting lighter before I could calm down enough to actually try to sleep.

I’ve been going through old pictures on our external hard drive, and I have noticed 2 things:

1. The Jess of today was being so harshly critical of the Jess of the past. I found myself criticizing everything. EVERYTHING. The unabashed smiles, the open silliness, the mismatched outfits, the fit of the outfits, etc. I absolutely was mentally tearing down this child. This child who was me, once.

2. When I finally looked at little me, and saw how happy her eyes were, how authentic the smiles were, how in the moment and not insecure she was, I realized I was doing exactly what had inevitably had changed those eyes, smiles, and confidence.

Now I wish I was her again, or at least still had her innocence.

I got money for Christmas and have yet to spend any on myself 😪 but this makes me feel better

pull the lever kronk

YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE SOUND I MADE READING THIS!!! Momma gave me a weird look and I told her what I had posted and THIS comment and she died 🤣🤣 thank you so much for the laugh!

Don’t mind me, just sitting here utterly mesmerized by that choker knowing damn well I’m about to see a Taehyung post that will snatch me back in his lane

⁂ 29/100 days of park jimin | Prince of Busan