If Becoming Robin Had An Interview:-

If becoming Robin had an interview:-

(Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie and Damian)

Batman- What is your motivation for becoming Batman's partner?

Dick- Robin. Batman's partner is Robin.

Batman-

Batman- Right, Robin, what are your motivations?

Dick- *Scrunching up nose in concentration* Uhm- Uhhh- RIGHT! dead parents :D

Batman-

Batman- WHAT?

Dick- OH! sorry, i forgot, *Grin*, seeing dead parents DIE in front of me :))

Batman- I-

Batman- *softly* Dick,

Dick- Aww, I got it wrong...

Batman- You can't-

Dick- What's your motive?

Batman- Making sure nobody else has to suffer like I did but-

Dick- My motive is to make sure nobody else has to suffer like I did, Batman sir *salute*

Batman-

Batman- Dick, just because we have similar starts to our Vigilante career-

Dick- And to find Tony Zucco.

Batman- There it is-

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Batman- Out of all the other kids, why should I hire you?

Jason- OUT OF ALL THE OTHER- Listen here mister-

Batman- waIT that was just to sound interviewy-

Jason- SOME RANDOM CREEPY WEIRDO KIDNAPPED ME OFF THE STREETS-

Batman- *softly* Oh Gotham...

Jason- YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WENT "hey kid, wanna punch some baddies?"

Batman- *suppressing a smile* Are you done?

Jason- THE HELL IF I AM- Y'know what, why should I work FOR YOU??? WHY NOT- LIKE- THE JOKER OR SOMETHING?

Batman-

Batman- Because THE JOKER IS A HORRIBLE MAN???

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Batman- *Gruff* What are your qualifications?

Tim- Well, Photography, Stalking, and I like to think I'm quite smart but I can be stubborn at times-

Batman- *Bored* Mhm....

Tim- I-

Tim- To hell with this, If you don't hire me, I'm telling everyone you're Bruce Wayne >:(

Batman- *Raise of eyebrow* And what if I stop you?

Tim- Unless you tie me down for the rest of my life or kill me, you can't

Batman-

Batman- I need your height and weight for the suit.

Tim- yES!

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Batman- Any previous experience?

Stephanie- Well, I was Spoiler before, and I have a close relationship with the previous Robin-

Batman- *Interested* Hrn, would you say the previous Robin, cared for you???

Stephanie- Uh, yes sir???

Batman- Don't call me sir.

Batman- This may be a strange question, but would said person be jealous if you became Robin?

Stephanie-

Stephanie- I suppose, but I like to think-

Batman- You're hired.

Stephanie- REALLY?????

Batman- Really.

Stephanie-

Stephanie- Do I get paid, ma'am?

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Batman- What is your opinion on killing?

Damian-

Damian- Well, I suppose, hypothetically speaking,

Batman- We're not talking about hypothetically.

Damian- *under breath* interrupt me again-

Batman- Sorry?

Damian- HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, I think some people deserve to die,

Batman- Well yes, but would you deliver the final blow?

Damian-

Damian- *deep annoyed inhale*

Damian- *Slowly, as if remembering difficult lines* I believe that context matters,

Batman-

Batman- Could you please answer the question, i have other volunteers waiting-

Damian- Excuse me?

Batman- I meant-

Batman- *Sigh* Tim wanted to volunteer for the interview just in case-

Damian- *Pushing table and standing up* OH REALLY?

Batman- *Painfully tight* Damian-

Damian- WELL YOU CAN TELL DRAKE THAT IF HE DOESN'T BACK OFF, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET BLOOD ON PENNYWORTH'S NICELY CLEANED CARPETS-

Batman- DAMIAN DON'T YOU DARE-

Damian- *Impassive stare*

Batman-

Damian-

Batman-

Damian- I'm going out.

Batman- WHERE-

Damian-

Damian- *Run's out*

Batman- WAIT-

Batman- *Following after* YOU'RE HIRED- DAMIAN YOU LITTLE- STOP!!!

Just got the most random scenario in my head, and now you wonderful people must hear it <333

Random racist white lady at a Gala: I don’t know what Wayne was thinking when he took in his last two children! I wonder how he feels safe at his manor with those little rascals probably stealing everything!

Tim, running on two hours of sleeps and an argument with Damian: *contemplating whether he should punch her, or ruin her life socially*

Dick, before Tim can even decide: *Throws a chair at her*

Recently read Gotham War (I regret it) so in my mourning,

All the reblogs and comments on this post should be acting like toxic Batman-Stans defending all the toxic crap that Batman has done to his family/children/not-officially-family-but-still-family

Go crazy, Make Crack, And have fun >:)

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Plz reblog so more people see this :DD

??? So what ur implying is that only the blood related people are batfamily? 😭 I love Damian, but the whole point of the Batfam was ‘found family with issues’, and just turning it into ‘Talia, Bruce and Damian’ is pretty boring and defeats the whole purpose of Batman having a family.

The family of Damian, Dick, Jason, Tim, Bruce, Cass, Duke, Stephanie and Barbara is complicated because not all of them see each other as family

(Steph and Barbara don’t see Bruce as a father figure, but Steph sees Damian, Tim, Jason, Cass and etc as her siblings. Dick and Damian have a semi-Father/son relationship which they refuse to acknowledge because Dick isn’t ready for that responsibility. Damian and Tim get into horrible fights with each other constantly, but Tim still refers to Damian as ‘his little brother’ and while Jason and Dick see each other as siblings, Jason and Damian DESPISE each other. Jason has tried to kill Tim before, but Tim and Jason are on good terms now. Barbara is Dicks ex/girlfriends, but has sister/mentor relationship with his sister Cass. Duke gets along best with Jason and is one of the few people Damian openly likes. Helena (Huntress) is Bruce and Selina’s daughter in another universe. Selina and Bruce have a cat and mouse situation going on, which never seems to end.)

Their family is messy and complicated and not everyone likes each other, but they’re family non-the less.

Turning that into ‘Talia, Bruce and Damian’ only is so stupid and boring, and removing amazing dynamics that the family include.

It’s fine if you ship ‘Bru-Talia’ but you don’t actually have to remove every single one of Bruce’s adopted kids, and said kids ex’s/bestfriend who are basically part of the family now. It makes BruTalia boring and makes everything else boring. It’s just an average-normal family then, which nobody really wants to read about.

(By the i mean people would rather read about they’re messy and, personally, more interesting dynamics)

(I don’t mean Gotham War tho)

(That’s just stupid)

Anyway, sorry for the ranting lmao, I just really got invested in writing this :D

Batfamily

NO

BATFAMILY

Little Story of this for people who don’t have time to make out who did what :)

Dick and Tim were hanging out, when Dick got bored and dared Tim to steal something from Vicki Vales house, and Tim, being a short ass lil shit, was unable to refuse a challenge, and agreed. So stole a very expensive watch from the house.

Everyone found out about this, because obviously, and since Vicki is quite a ‘important’ and ‘influential’ figure, Commissioner Jim Gordon took lead of the investigation. (Begrudgingly)

Anyway, being in jail was the LAST thing that Tim wanted, so then came the game of pointing fingers;

Cass knew what was going on, and for reasons Unkown, somehow bribed Commissioner Gordon into adding Jason into the suspect list. Though Gordon disagreed, he agreed to put Jason into the suspect list.

By the end of it, Commissioner Gordon had four (three) suspects. Jason, Bruce, Tim and by request of his daughter, Barbara, Dick. For reasons Unkown.

Bruce is annoyed, irritated, and wants to go back in time to erase all the children he had (no he doesn’t) and is completely on Barbara’s side, thinking it is Dick who committed the crime, and even (JOKINGLY) said he would leave his children to become Batgirl. His children have not let him live it down since.

Thus, the trial began!

Tim has bribed and blackmailed Damian into being his lawyer. The only reason Damian is here, is to get Jason in jail. For stealing his BatBurger toy.

Jason has get Duke as his lawyer, who has been secretly bribed into being on Tim’s side by Damian himself. Jason, the poor dude, has no idea of this.

Bruce claims he doesn’t need a lawyer, but Clark showed up anyway. Selina is also there to laugh at his misery :)

By the end of it, Damian and Tim, the power duo, have won. (Somehow, it was clear that Damian didn’t even try.)

Jason is getting ready to go to jail for a dreadful weak, and Duke is ever so mournful (he’s cackling in the corner, Jason has promised hell on him)

Bruce somehow did not go to jail (thanks to his billionaire-playboy persona) and is upset for Jason, but is being comforted by Selina. (It’s just a week, he’ll be fine Bruce~ he’s suffered worse. Just let your kids have a little laugh :))

Barbara has been taken to Kent Farm to hang with Kara (Dick asked Clark a favour, Barbara almost landed him jail even though he wasn’t even a proper suspect)

Jason is now in jail, much to the glee of his god awful, annoying, cruel, stupid, disgusting, demons, sent from hell, siblings. He is in the same cell as Kate, who is glaring at him menacingly, and Jason doesn’t really care enough to ask why she’s there. (She got into a fight with a gang. Ten people are in the hospital currently)

Jason, attempted to call his last hope, his saviour, Alfred, to bail him out, but ‘unfortunately’ the butlers signal kept getting cut off. (Alfred was still upset with Jason for ‘accidentally’ shooting Cass while on field. It wasn’t a serious injury at all, but for plot convenience, Alfred is letting Jason stay in the fairly comfortable cell for atleast a day or two)

Stephanie, after having lost a bet with Damian, Tim and Cass, is trying to get Jason out of jail so they can together rain hell on them. She is currently failing, but she’s getting there!

:-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-:

What do you guys think? :)

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1- The top voted person went to jail for a crime they did not commit.

2- Second most voted person actually committed the crime.

3- Third most voted person dared person 2 to commit said crime.

4- Fourth most voted person was person 1’s lawyer, who was actually on person 2’s side all along.

5- Fifth most voted person is 🤌🏻 close to saying ‘FUCK YOU!’ and going to live with Barbara. And become batgirl. For some reason. (They were the second suspect of said crime, though they had nothing to do with the crime)

6- Sixth most voted person is the only one on Person 1’s side and is trying to get them out of jail

7- Seventh most voted person is Person 2’s lawyer who ?somehow? won, though it was clear they weren’t even trying.

8- Eighth most voted person is secretly the one who bribed Commissioner Gordon to put Person 1 in jail for a week, because Commissioner Gordon was too smart and knew it wasn’t actually person 1 (whether he knew it was person two or not, depends on the answer)

9- Ninth most voted person is also for some reason in jail, for reasons Unkown. They are glaring at all the criminals menacingly, and person 1 is too annoyed to ask why they’re there.

10- Tenth most voted person was called by person 1 to bail them out, but was ‘cut off’ because of ‘bad signal, sorry’

11- Eleventh most voted person tried framing person three for the crime, and is now in Kent Farm for some reason???

Dick would mostly just manipulate the seats to make sure Bruce is furthest from him and have his favourite people of the day next to him. Doesn’t care about where everyone else sits.

Jason would just ask for disaster. Strategically placed for everyone to FIGHT so he can either leave or enjoy the show.

Cass would force people who dislike each other to sit next to each other and tell them to ‘Get over it, stop fighting’

Tim would leave it for last second and would accidentally end up seating Damian with Jason, which ends in disaster.

Stephanie would just try and get everyone to sit in the lounge to eat dinner instead, so that they can watch legally blonde. She almost succeeded once, so now Alfred won’t let her set the table anymore.

Duke end up putting up pranks or something because ‘Omg I got bored! Sue me!’, resulting in a full on brawl of ‘honour’.

Damian would send Jason and Tim to the ‘kiddie table’ or make his pets sit on all the chairs just to piss everyone off. He would only let Stephanie, Duke and Dick sit down, everyone else can STAND.

Harper would use those ‘spin the wheel’ apps to decide who sits where. It doesn’t end up well.

Cullen would literally ask everyone where they want to sit, without telling them where everyone else is sitting, and by the end of it it’s a fight because ‘I PUT DIBS ON THAT SEAT THOMAS, BACK OFF’ and ‘I DIDNT KNOW BRUCE WAS SITTING NEXT TO ME WTH???’

So obv the only logical choice is Barbara.

(Idk, i accidentally clicked Damian, my whole body is biased :( )