I Just Came Up With The Most Hilarious And Amazing Head Cannon For When Damian And Tim Patrol Together.

I just came up with the most hilarious and amazing head cannon for when Damian and Tim patrol together.

(This is after they start not-despising each other btw)

If you have siblings, I’m sure we all know the feeling of when we just barely touch our sibling, and suddenly they start crying because ‘THEY HIT ME!!’

I want you to imagine that, except the injuries are actually serious, for Tim and Damian.

Here are a few skits :D :-

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Dick:-

Dick:-

Dick:- So you pushed Tim off the roof because, you told him to ‘Shut up and die’ and he responded with ‘get a life’?

Damian:- IT WASNT EVEN MY FAULT I JUST LIGHTLY SHOVED HIM AND HE SOMEHOW FELL, ITS HIS FAULT-

Tim:- YOU KICKED ME AND THEN PUSHED ME OFF THE ROOF TELLING ME ‘FALL YOU MOUTH BREATHER’!

Damian:- OH MY GOD HES OVERREACTING-

Tim:- I HAVE A BROKEN LEG WDYM I’M OVER REACTING?

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Tim:- …

Barbara:-

Barbara:- I want you to run this over with me, one more time. How the hell did you stab Damian?

Tim:- I DIDNT STAB HIM OK?

Barbara:-

Tim:- Look, we were in a middle of a fight with Black Masks goons-

Barbara:- OH! So the opposing team stabbed him?

Tim:-

Tim:- Well, not really-

Barbara:-

Tim:- ….So during the fight, me and Damian were having a discussion about Harry Potter-

Barbara:- Excuse me??? Harry Potter???

Tim:- JUST LISTEN OKAY- So I said I shipped Drarry, and then Damian said “Your disgusting and should go to hell”

Barbara:-

Tim:-

Barbara:- First of all, DRARRY TIM!?

Tim:- DONT TELL ME YOU DON’T-

Barbara:- SECOND IF ALL, THAT IS NOT A VALID REASON TO STAB SOMEONE?

Tim:- I JUST HALF HEARTEDLY THREW THE KNIFE AT HIM ITS NOT MY FAULT IT ACTUALLY HIT HIM???

Barbara:- HOLY GOTHAM I SWEAR TO GOD-

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Damian:-

Tim:-

Bruce:-

Tim:- Bruce it’s not as bad as it looks-

Bruce:- Damian is shot and you are bleeding from a stab wound, and your cameras show me that you were the ones who did this to each other, please do explain?!

Damian:-

Damian:- It was Drakes fault-

Tim:- NO IT WAS NOT-

Damian:- He said that I was dumb-

Bruce:- So you STABBED HIM?

Tim:- HAH! YEAH DAMIAN-

Damian:- I JUST POKED HIM ITS NOT MH FAULT HE HAS SUCH WEAK SKIN-

Bruce:- I- We’ll deal with that later, Tim why in the world did you SHOOT HIM?

Tim:- LOOK, THE GUN WAS VERY CLOSE TO ME AND IMPULSE TOOK CONTROL-

Damian:- Father it wasn’t even MY FAULT, DRAKE WAS THE ONE WHO STARTED IT-

Tim:- AND THEN I SUDDENLY SAW-

Damian:- AND DRAKE SAID-

Bruce:- *Noise of regret*

Little Story of this for people who don’t have time to make out who did what :)

Dick and Tim were hanging out, when Dick got bored and dared Tim to steal something from Vicki Vales house, and Tim, being a short ass lil shit, was unable to refuse a challenge, and agreed. So stole a very expensive watch from the house.

Everyone found out about this, because obviously, and since Vicki is quite a ‘important’ and ‘influential’ figure, Commissioner Jim Gordon took lead of the investigation. (Begrudgingly)

Anyway, being in jail was the LAST thing that Tim wanted, so then came the game of pointing fingers;

Cass knew what was going on, and for reasons Unkown, somehow bribed Commissioner Gordon into adding Jason into the suspect list. Though Gordon disagreed, he agreed to put Jason into the suspect list.

By the end of it, Commissioner Gordon had four (three) suspects. Jason, Bruce, Tim and by request of his daughter, Barbara, Dick. For reasons Unkown.

Bruce is annoyed, irritated, and wants to go back in time to erase all the children he had (no he doesn’t) and is completely on Barbara’s side, thinking it is Dick who committed the crime, and even (JOKINGLY) said he would leave his children to become Batgirl. His children have not let him live it down since.

Thus, the trial began!

Tim has bribed and blackmailed Damian into being his lawyer. The only reason Damian is here, is to get Jason in jail. For stealing his BatBurger toy.

Jason has get Duke as his lawyer, who has been secretly bribed into being on Tim’s side by Damian himself. Jason, the poor dude, has no idea of this.

Bruce claims he doesn’t need a lawyer, but Clark showed up anyway. Selina is also there to laugh at his misery :)

By the end of it, Damian and Tim, the power duo, have won. (Somehow, it was clear that Damian didn’t even try.)

Jason is getting ready to go to jail for a dreadful weak, and Duke is ever so mournful (he’s cackling in the corner, Jason has promised hell on him)

Bruce somehow did not go to jail (thanks to his billionaire-playboy persona) and is upset for Jason, but is being comforted by Selina. (It’s just a week, he’ll be fine Bruce~ he’s suffered worse. Just let your kids have a little laugh :))

Barbara has been taken to Kent Farm to hang with Kara (Dick asked Clark a favour, Barbara almost landed him jail even though he wasn’t even a proper suspect)

Jason is now in jail, much to the glee of his god awful, annoying, cruel, stupid, disgusting, demons, sent from hell, siblings. He is in the same cell as Kate, who is glaring at him menacingly, and Jason doesn’t really care enough to ask why she’s there. (She got into a fight with a gang. Ten people are in the hospital currently)

Jason, attempted to call his last hope, his saviour, Alfred, to bail him out, but ‘unfortunately’ the butlers signal kept getting cut off. (Alfred was still upset with Jason for ‘accidentally’ shooting Cass while on field. It wasn’t a serious injury at all, but for plot convenience, Alfred is letting Jason stay in the fairly comfortable cell for atleast a day or two)

Stephanie, after having lost a bet with Damian, Tim and Cass, is trying to get Jason out of jail so they can together rain hell on them. She is currently failing, but she’s getting there!

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What do you guys think? :)

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1- The top voted person went to jail for a crime they did not commit.

2- Second most voted person actually committed the crime.

3- Third most voted person dared person 2 to commit said crime.

4- Fourth most voted person was person 1’s lawyer, who was actually on person 2’s side all along.

5- Fifth most voted person is 🤌🏻 close to saying ‘FUCK YOU!’ and going to live with Barbara. And become batgirl. For some reason. (They were the second suspect of said crime, though they had nothing to do with the crime)

6- Sixth most voted person is the only one on Person 1’s side and is trying to get them out of jail

7- Seventh most voted person is Person 2’s lawyer who ?somehow? won, though it was clear they weren’t even trying.

8- Eighth most voted person is secretly the one who bribed Commissioner Gordon to put Person 1 in jail for a week, because Commissioner Gordon was too smart and knew it wasn’t actually person 1 (whether he knew it was person two or not, depends on the answer)

9- Ninth most voted person is also for some reason in jail, for reasons Unkown. They are glaring at all the criminals menacingly, and person 1 is too annoyed to ask why they’re there.

10- Tenth most voted person was called by person 1 to bail them out, but was ‘cut off’ because of ‘bad signal, sorry’

11- Eleventh most voted person tried framing person three for the crime, and is now in Kent Farm for some reason???

HEAR ME OUT.

Credit to @arrowheadedbitch for the idea! For those who haven’t seen they’re post, here’s the basic idea:-

Y’know how Damian doesn’t have a middle name? Yeah, so do you also know how siblings constantly shout each others full name to annoy/scare the other? So I pictured a few scenarios of when his siblings quickly thought of a ‘random’ middle name for him:-

Damian:- TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE WAYNE!!!

Tim:- DAMIAN TIMOTHY AL-GHUL WAYNE!!

Damian:-

Tim:-

Damian:-

Tim:- That’s was completely on accident-

Duke:- Omg

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Stephanie:- DAMIAN STEPHANIE AL-GHUL WAYNE!

Damian:- *annoyed* What do you want Brown-

Stephanie:-

Damian:- WAIT-

Stephanie:- OMFG DUKE IT WORKED, OMG OMG-

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Damian:- RICHARD JHON GRAYSON-WAYNE!?

Dick:- Oh Um- you’re full naming me-

Damian:- *glare*

Dick:- Uhm, DAMIAN, RICHARD AL-GHUL WAYNE???

Damian:-

Dick:-

Damian:-

Dick:- …Y’know, that actually has a ring to it-

Damian:- nO-

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Alfred:- Damian Pennyworth Al-Ghul Wayne, Come over here in this very instant!

Damian:-

Jason:-

Bruce:-

Tim:-

Dick:-

Cassandra:-

Duke:- Awww Alfred! I told you to make it Damian Duke Al-Ghul Wayne :((

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Bonus:-

I also think Bruce would just be very confused on what Damian’s middle name should be??? So, here ya go:-

Reporter:- Awww! And what is Damian’s full name?

Bruce:-

Bruce:- *Looks at his children*

Jason:- Damian Princess of Themiscara Wayne :) (Al-Ghul removed due to press)

Bruce:-

Damian, sulkily:- It’s better than Damian ‘JaSoN’ Wayne >:(

Bruce:-

Bruce, Tiredly:- His name is Damian Princess of Themiscara Wayne

Reporter:- ???

Talia, watching from the League for some reason:- ?!?

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The reblogs to this are pure gold! Check em out.

If becoming Robin had an interview:-

(Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie and Damian)

Batman- What is your motivation for becoming Batman's partner?

Dick- Robin. Batman's partner is Robin.

Batman-

Batman- Right, Robin, what are your motivations?

Dick- *Scrunching up nose in concentration* Uhm- Uhhh- RIGHT! dead parents :D

Batman-

Batman- WHAT?

Dick- OH! sorry, i forgot, *Grin*, seeing dead parents DIE in front of me :))

Batman- I-

Batman- *softly* Dick,

Dick- Aww, I got it wrong...

Batman- You can't-

Dick- What's your motive?

Batman- Making sure nobody else has to suffer like I did but-

Dick- My motive is to make sure nobody else has to suffer like I did, Batman sir *salute*

Batman-

Batman- Dick, just because we have similar starts to our Vigilante career-

Dick- And to find Tony Zucco.

Batman- There it is-

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Batman- Out of all the other kids, why should I hire you?

Jason- OUT OF ALL THE OTHER- Listen here mister-

Batman- waIT that was just to sound interviewy-

Jason- SOME RANDOM CREEPY WEIRDO KIDNAPPED ME OFF THE STREETS-

Batman- *softly* Oh Gotham...

Jason- YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WENT "hey kid, wanna punch some baddies?"

Batman- *suppressing a smile* Are you done?

Jason- THE HELL IF I AM- Y'know what, why should I work FOR YOU??? WHY NOT- LIKE- THE JOKER OR SOMETHING?

Batman-

Batman- Because THE JOKER IS A HORRIBLE MAN???

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Batman- *Gruff* What are your qualifications?

Tim- Well, Photography, Stalking, and I like to think I'm quite smart but I can be stubborn at times-

Batman- *Bored* Mhm....

Tim- I-

Tim- To hell with this, If you don't hire me, I'm telling everyone you're Bruce Wayne >:(

Batman- *Raise of eyebrow* And what if I stop you?

Tim- Unless you tie me down for the rest of my life or kill me, you can't

Batman-

Batman- I need your height and weight for the suit.

Tim- yES!

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Batman- Any previous experience?

Stephanie- Well, I was Spoiler before, and I have a close relationship with the previous Robin-

Batman- *Interested* Hrn, would you say the previous Robin, cared for you???

Stephanie- Uh, yes sir???

Batman- Don't call me sir.

Batman- This may be a strange question, but would said person be jealous if you became Robin?

Stephanie-

Stephanie- I suppose, but I like to think-

Batman- You're hired.

Stephanie- REALLY?????

Batman- Really.

Stephanie-

Stephanie- Do I get paid, ma'am?

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Batman- What is your opinion on killing?

Damian-

Damian- Well, I suppose, hypothetically speaking,

Batman- We're not talking about hypothetically.

Damian- *under breath* interrupt me again-

Batman- Sorry?

Damian- HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, I think some people deserve to die,

Batman- Well yes, but would you deliver the final blow?

Damian-

Damian- *deep annoyed inhale*

Damian- *Slowly, as if remembering difficult lines* I believe that context matters,

Batman-

Batman- Could you please answer the question, i have other volunteers waiting-

Damian- Excuse me?

Batman- I meant-

Batman- *Sigh* Tim wanted to volunteer for the interview just in case-

Damian- *Pushing table and standing up* OH REALLY?

Batman- *Painfully tight* Damian-

Damian- WELL YOU CAN TELL DRAKE THAT IF HE DOESN'T BACK OFF, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET BLOOD ON PENNYWORTH'S NICELY CLEANED CARPETS-

Batman- DAMIAN DON'T YOU DARE-

Damian- *Impassive stare*

Batman-

Damian-

Batman-

Damian- I'm going out.

Batman- WHERE-

Damian-

Damian- *Run's out*

Batman- WAIT-

Batman- *Following after* YOU'RE HIRED- DAMIAN YOU LITTLE- STOP!!!

Most of the batfam: *arguing about who has the most trauma to deal with said trauma*

Damian about to pull up with the ‘I got raised in the League of Assassin’s and went to hell’ card:

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Who here wants to see a actual ‘Who has the most Trauma’ game-post but it doesn’t actually have a conclusion, because there really isn’t any? If this gets like 200 hearts I’ll do it <333