Tw Sui Attempt - Tumblr Posts
Bad Blood: Boys Don't Work Like That (part three of three)
Eleventh-hour blueshipping and angst rears its head (the urge could no longer be suppressed; R.I.P. any hope of decent Rocketshipping in this fic). This isn't really about vampires anymore.
Part one is here. Part two is here.
Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; colorful language; bizarre occult lore; very loose understanding of psychological and medical issues (seriously twelve!me does not seem to understand psychopathy or sleeping pills); abuse mention; suicide attempt; out-of-character behavior for James, Meowth, and Mondo; wet dreams are not boy periods, twelve!me; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (I'm told this is not uncommon); James is a witch for some reason (and has a doppelganger)
-O-o-O-o-O-
(James's point of view)
I stayed in the bathroom for a long time.
I was so stupid. I should have known Meowth told me everything was fine just so I wouldn't get upset. I should have known everything was not fine.
I also should have known I shouldn't have fallen in love with Jessie.
How could I be such an imbecile? I knew Jessie abused me, I knew she was violent, yet I still loved her.
That just showed how stupid I was.
What if Jessie had tried to kill Meowth? Or Mondo? If she did, I would never forgive myself.
"James? Are you all right in there?" Meowth asked.
"I'm fine." I tried to keep my voice from breaking, but it didn't work.
Meowth knew I had been crying and came in.
I looked in the mirror. "I'm such a wreck. No wonder Jessie abuses me," I said.
Meowth started to say something, but Mondo beat him to it.
"Don't say that! You're not a wreck. Even if you were, that's no reason for her to abuse you like that. You're not even why Jessie went psycho. It's because of….well….I don't know. Some people are just like that. She's always had a bad temper," Mondo said.
"So it's not your fault," Meowth said.
I looked in the mirror again. I saw a boy with messy blue-violet hair, swollen areas under his green eyes, and a red flush about his face.
That didn't look like someone who wasn't a wreck.
When Mondo and Meowth went out of the bathroom, I used the toilet. I noticed my underwear was wet, but not with urine. I changed it and went out of the bathroom and pulled Mondo aside.
"Mondo? You know what wet dreams are, don't you?" I asked.
"Yeah, why?" he said.
"What age are boys supposed to get it?" I asked.
"Boys get their first wet dream when they're about eleven years old. If they don't then, the latest they can get it is fourteen."
"But what if they don't get it then?" I hoped I didn't sound worried.
"Then there might be an issue," Mondo said.
There was an awkward silence until Mondo asked, "When did you get your first wet dream?"
"I noticed my underwear was wet a few minutes ago," I said.
"It only happens when you sleep and dream about girls romantically," Mondo said.
"Then….I haven't gotten it yet," I said.
"You never dreamed about girls like that?"
"No."
"Or woken up and found your underwear wet before now?"
"No."
"How old are you, again?"
"Seventeen."
We stared at each other.
"I think you should go see a doctor," Mondo said.
We did.
-O-o-O-
Mondo and Meowth knew I was a witch, so they took me to a Witch Doctor.
I was trying to figure out how to explain the wet dream to the Witch Doctor. It might be a bit embarrassing, since the Witch Doctor was a woman.
The Witch Doctor walked in. "What brings you here today?" she asked.
I whispered, "It's about my wet dreams. They're coming late. I think my powers might have something to do with it."
"Then I'll have to let my assistant take care of you. He's male. He'll understand," the Witch Doctor said.
The Witch Doctor's assistant came out. He had shoulder-length blue-violet hair, green eyes, pale skin, and very familiar facial features.
"James, are you aware that this guy looks exactly like you?" Mondo asked.
"Yes," I said.
"Please, follow me into the examining room," the assistant said. I followed him in. His voice was the same as mine, too, except he had a different accent.
"What seems to be the problem?" the assistant asked.
"My wet dreams haven't come and I'm seventeen," I said.
"It's because of your undeveloped powers. They'll come soon, now that you've developed them," the assistant said.
When I left the Witch Doctor's office, I was unsure of what to think.
We took Jessie to the mental institution. She tried to bite me and….that abuse where someone touches you where they're not supposed to. I can't even bear to write the proper name.
It was just awful.
-O-o-O-
We visited Jessie the next day. I was the last one to go in. Jessie cursed me out as soon as she saw me.
"You screwed up such a fucking easy plan and you don't think your ass is getting fucked up?!" she yelled.
"Stop it! Just stop it! Stop blaming everything on me. I work as hard as I can to make our plans work, and gain your love, and—"
Gain your love?! Where did that come from?!
"You think I'd love you?! You're an imbecile to think anyone would love a fuck-up cunt like you," Jessie said.
Her words messed me up. I ran out of the room, crying. I ran out of the waiting room. Meowth and Mondo ran after me, but I didn't care.
I made it to our cabin. I ran inside. I locked myself in the bathroom. I could hear Meowth and Mondo talking in the living room.
I knew what to do.
I took out some sleeping pills and took about ten of them. I felt like I'd vomit.
I ran outside. Mondo and Meowth followed me.
I found a tree and climbed it. They saw me and ran to the tree.
"James, what are you doing?!" Meowth screamed. He started to climb the tree.
"I'm jumping," I said.
"Why?! You have a life, you have Mondo and I—"
"Yes, but for how long? I ruin everything. Jessie was right. I can't even do a simple plan right. Why bother living?" I said. It was getting harder for me to think clearly. My legs were shaking.
I jumped.
Mondo ran and caught me. I was startled and began screaming, "Why did you catch me? I was trying to die!"
"Don't scare us like that. Don't ever do that again," Mondo said. He was crying. I was crying. It began to rain. Meowth climbed back down the tree.
Mondo put me down. I fell to my knees and began to throw up.
"Oh, Jimmy, what did you do?" Meowth asked.
"It's the sleeping pills. I took them so it wouldn't hurt when I fell," I said.
I tried to stand up. I wobbled. I fell and Mondo caught me.
Then I blacked out.
(Meowth's point of view)
Mondo carried James back inside. James looked very pale.
Mondo put James on the bed.
"He took about ten sleeping pills. After I put him down, he probably threw up about half of them," Mondo said.
I brushed James's hair out of his face. Then I put a wet rag on his forehead. He began to regain consciousness.
"What happened?" he asked.
"You fainted," I said.
There was a moment of silence, then I asked, "Why did you do that?"
"I told you, I'm worthless. Jessie was right. Besides, who could love a screw-up like me?" James said.
"I could," I said.
James turned to look at me. Then we kissed on the mouth.
Lesson learned: Jessie and James don't fit.
However, me and James, well, that's a different story.
-O-o-O-o-O-
Moral of the story: Wet dreams are not boy periods. I can't believe that twelve!me needed to be told that.
Stoner Kira:Good,Bad And Neutral Ending
(Content Warning:Drugs,death,suicide)
Good ending:
Dio and Valentine scold Kira for his addiction and for once Kira decides to listen.He accepts their advice and decides to seek therapy and tells Diavolo never to give him drugs again.He finds happiness through cats (which he bonds with Kars by) and never needs to go back to drugs.
Neutral ending:
Pucci eventually decided enough is enough and sends Kira to rehab to better himself.He stays there for 4 months and leaves…unhappy.It’s not that Kira necessarily misses the drugs,but he misses how they wouldn’t make him feel empty.
Bad ending:
(SUICIDE WARNING)
Diavolo realises how drugs aren’t making Kira happier so he stops supplying Kira.Even though he knew Kira was going through a hard time,he refused to sell to Kira.What he didn’t realise though was the drugs were the only reason Kira was alive,and so one day he decided to end his life due to his constant impulsive thoughts and crave for emotions.Everyone wishes they could’ve helped him,but Diavolo just feels guilty.
the fic ahead is only for 18+ minors!! do not interact !!!
||Hold me like my life depends on it 💙💔 ||wrote by me
Cw:SH,depression,cussing,suicide mention,scars,body dysphoria.
GojoXreader,fluff,suicide comfort,affirmations,kisses.
POV:Reader is cutting themselves on the sink and Gojo comes back after grocery shopping
Sorry I'm not English native so i apologized for some grammatical mistakes/errors
You can read this while listening to this,you're welcome
~~~~~~~~~💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~💔~~~~~~~~~
*When Gojo gets back to the apartment and walks in, the scene that meets him makes his heart sink into his stomach. He freezes in place, and can't believe what he's watching... But he had a feeling it would be something like this.*
"y/n..." He whispers, feeling absolutely broken himself. He knew you had a tendency to self-harm but he hadn't thought it would be to this extent. He doesn't realize it but he's not breathing and is still standing in the doorway of the bathroom door.
“S-Stop... You have to stop!” He finally finds the strength to move and rushes over to you, grabbing your arm. “Jesus Christ... Are you crazy?” His tone is sharp, and he realizes he may be making things worse with the way he's talking to you. Even while speaking he realizes he might be scaring you even more than you already are. “I told you not to do this anymore…” Satoru says, his voice now gentle, filled with fear. The last thing he wants is to have you in such a state that could be fatal. But at the same time a part of him just wants you to stop hurting yourself like that, but can’t help but wonder how many times you’ve done this. How many times your wrists are cut up already, which is why you always insist on wearing long sleeves, even during the middle of summer.
Satoru is surprised by your reaction, and while he expected you to be emotional, he hadn't expected you to burst into tears and start sobbing. He holds you tight to stop you from slipping down, and rubs your back gently while patting your head. "Shh..." He whispers, his tone calm and soothing. It's a nice change from his usual loud voice. "Shh... It's okay. It's okay. I'm here. I've got you."
"Shhh... It's okay, It's okay...." Satoru says, rocking you back and forth, pressing you into his body. The tears roll down his face, and it breaks his heart to see you in this state. "Just let it all out. I'm here, it's me, it's just me. I'm here for you." His arms wrap around you, protecting you from the entire world. He feels like he's going to burst into tears himself as he hugs you feeling just as broken as you are.
“Shhh...” He strokes your back and whispers, leaning in so that you're almost touching foreheads. He hugs you so tightly like that it feels he will protect you from everything. It kills him just how desperate you look. You're crying so much, you're shaking, your voice is breaking from how hard you're bawling. He just wants to hold you like this as tightly as possible, he can feel how hot your tears are on his shoulder. “Everything’s going to be okay…”
For someone that acts so cold sometimes, he’s surprisingly caring right now. He’s doing his best to get you to calm down, speaking reassuringly, but deep down he can’t help but be scared to death at what he saw.
Satoru pulls you more close to him, wrapping your body against his as he holds you gently. He continues shushing you, speaking to you as softly as he can. The fact that you're crying in his arms like this... He can’t stand to see you like this. "It’s okay... Come on, come on. Please... shhhh..." He croons, rocking you a little.
you're body trembled as Gojo touched your old scars “Shhh... It’s me, it’s just me...” Satoru’s voice is gentle and soothing, his caress is meant to help you realize that it’s safe. He caresses your scars gently and then kisses your cheek, reassuring you that he’s with you. He wants the world to go away for just a bit. He wants you to feel at home in his arms and to comfort you to the point you won’t do this to yourself again.
“it doesnt matter what you think about your body…” Gojo whispers in your ear. His voice is soft but also stern and protective. “You are beautiful; to me at least... All those scars, you’re still so gorgeous… I want you to know that… You need to see that about yourself too…”
"But I'm fat" you replied whimpering pinching your stomach "I'm ugly"
Satoru shakes his head firmly. "No, you aren't. You really aren't..." He pulls away from you a little bit, just enough for him to look deep into your eyes and force you to make eye contact with him. "I mean, you *are* chubby. I'm not going to sugarcoat it… But your curves are attractive. I love squeezing them and having them right here in my arms... I think you're beautiful."
"But I am-" "No. you’re not." Gojo cuts you off immediately "that’s just more of you to love...” He holds you tighter against him, looking deeply into your eyes. He needs to see that you know that the way you see yourself, the way that you think you are… that it just isn’t true. You’re wonderful, precious, a little broken, but still precious.
"T..then why do you love me?" "...why I love you?" He repeats to himself, as if the thought had never crossed his mind before. A smile spreads across his face, making him genuinely look happy at the realization. "It's just... You know..." He pauses to think again how he wants to answer. He doesn't want to screw this up. "It's just because... You're you... There's no one like you and there'll never be anyone else like you ever again."
You weren't used to such kinds words such care from a person that you sobbed your last tears before falling asleep from exhaustion on Gojo lap,you're breathing is soft and slow.
Satoru hugs you tightly, not wanting to let you go for even a second. Your body is warm, your soft breathing and gentle snores filling him with such ease. When you finally fall asleep he slowly and gently moves you into his bed and covers you with a blanket, getting into bed with you and holding you close.
Your body is so delicate, so soft and so precious. He could never let anything happen to you. He needs to be next to you as much and as often as possible, the thought of you not being near sends chills down his spine.
He holds you close as you sleep, running his fingers slowly through your hair. He watches your features, your expressions, the peaceful, serene, and relaxed sleep.
There's something about looking at you like this that just melts all his worries away. You're just so peaceful, so fragile. Like a small flower. His eyes flicker with a hint of affection. The feeling he's having right now, this is the first time he's had this emotion in a long time.
You both fall asleep hugging each other tightly. You're still in Gojo's arms, which is a safe and secure place. Your breathing is slow and steady. There's a peacefulness and comfort to the whole situation, that makes the both of you drift off into a sleep as peaceful as possible. Satoru's breathing matches yours as you both sleep, he won't move an inch for the entire night.
~~~~~~~~~💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~💖~~~~~~~~~
Me while writing this:

Sorry 4 the long writing but I felt like writing it lol ,that's all folks tell me if u want more of my writing :)
about two days ago, I was going to commit suicide. only reason why I didn't was because I thought of my cats, and realized... they would miss me. my cats probably wouldn't understand I was gone.
Edit: also because I like listening to the birds in the morning. can't do that if I'm dead.
To any suicidal followers I may have: This is a sign to not kill yourself. You are loved and the world is special because you are in it. Keep holding on.
-PLEASE REBLOG THIS YOU MAYBE ARE SAVING SOMEONES LIFE
You are special and amazing , If you need to talk or some help send me a dm and I will talk to you.
vent tw: self-harm, suicide
i od on 16 benadryl on friday......it was a dumb little attempt at ahem that s-word i couldve taken much much more....only felt sick and had hallucinations + hearing/feeling things,, its really funny to say i was high then but ig i was? im unsure...i only regret it bc i felt like i was going to vomit but i want to do it again,,,,and again and again
I am working on another thing.
There is: suicide, attempted suicide, blood, and death-- none of it is graphic, its all very sketch-drawn right now, but be warned (just in case)
I really never had a chance, huh? Born a month early, low muscle tone, barely ate anything for the first eight months of my life. Chemical imbalance in my brain. Always in pain. Hurting myself since before I could remember. Tried to end it at seven years old. Funny. Most kids learn to read at seven. I was learning want drowning felt like. My first memory. Never had any friends. Ignored because my brother was the loud one. Abused in every way there is. Victim of medical malpractice, but there’s no evidence I could use to make a case. Abandoned time and time again. Made to think that it’s my fault. More scars on my skin than days in my life, if I had to guess.
I try to tell myself that it’s all just a dream. That any moment now, I’ll wake up, I’ll be that innocent kid again. Free. Happy. Not in pain. But I never was, was I? This has always been my life.
I guess all I can do is try to convince myself that there’s a reason for it all, right? That there’s a light at the end of this tunnel. That my years of silent agony are for something. Because if I can’t believe that, I’ll go mad, won’t I?
But let me tell you a secret. I don’t believe a word I say. Maybe I am insane. Whatever that means.
I call myself Roadkill because of my past life. Oath because I promised myself I would stop letting other people tell me who I am. And Carrion because of my constant pain making me feel already gone.
Dazai and atsushi both try to kill themselves on the same roof, at the same time
Tw for su!cide obviously
This is pretty bad but in my defense it's like, 2am right now.
Word count: 457
----- ------- ------- -------- --------- ------
It was a sad night, nothing particularly bad had happened, and it hadn't been raining, it just felt sad.
Dazai stood on the edge of the rooftop. He was hoping to finally succeed in killing himself. He'd been trying for years but luck had never seemed to be on his side, but tonight, tonight he would succeed. It was a perfect night for a suicide attempt, dark, cloudy, a little bit foggy, no one would interrupt him tonight.
He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the fall. He took a small step closer to the edge, this was it, finally. Just as he was about to fall he heard the door to the roof creak open. Turning around. He saw a familiar head of white hair staring at him.
"..Atsushi? What are you doing here?"
Atsushi didn't respond, he was trying to gather his thoughts. He had finally worked up the courage to do it, he'd wanted to just give in and kill himself for years, but he always got too scared and stopped before he did anything fatal.
"Atsushi?" He was snapped from his thoughts by Dazai calling his name.
"Oh- uh, y-yeah, Dazai?"
"What are you doing up here this late, Atsushi?"
"Oh, right, me. I'm.. I'm here to.. uh-" he hadn't considered the idea that someone could be here already so he hadn't bothered to come up with am excuse for if he got caught. "I- I'm here to enjoy the view! Yeah, the beautiful night sky! Isn't it great from up here! Ha...ha." He knew that he was not convincing anyone with that pathetic excuse, especially Dazai, who already figured out what was going on.
"..The view is nice from up here, you're right, although, I'm sure that's not actually why you're here, is it?" He sits down a few steps from the edge, patting the ground next to him to signal for Atsushi to sit next to him.
Atsushi sighs, "You're right, it's not."
"I assume you're here for the same reason as me, right?"
Atsushi doesn't respond and Dazai takes that as a yes.
"Well, I guess if neither of us are gonna succeed tonight there's no point in being here, huh?" Dazai stands up and stretches, and Atsushi follows after a moment.
"I guess not."
"Man, all this trying to kill myself has really made me hungry, let's get something to eat and..talk a bit, sound good Atsushi? My treat~!"
"Yeah... let's do that."
And with that, the two of them made their way down the building and out to find some restaurant that's still open at 2am.
Maybe tonight hadn't worked out the way they wanted it to, but it still worked out in the end.










Change is a two-way street.
(Is my favoritism towards the Damsel obvious enough, or?)
note: TLQ [aka my sona Bloombird] is a butch sapphic and this is yuri
Without spoiling anything, PLEASE be advised that the first three episodes have A LOT of suicide shit in them. Like not just ideation, full on behavior and attempts shown on screen. Huge warning if you have any kind of trigger for suicide
almost my two year attempt anniversary, and almost one year clean from self harm. you can do it, it is so difficult but i promise you things will turn out.
Today's the day :/
So it's officially been one year since I almost successfully k1lled my$3lf... I made it ig?
Will always reblog stuff like this when it comes up, there's a lotta apps like it! All different you can always search for one that works for you and it's ok if none of them do, just means that one out of hundreds of alternatives doesn't work
i recommend this app to help you distract yourself when you feel an urge to hurt yourself!

It’s so cute and calming :D
important!!!
OWEN WILSON AND INTERVIEWS
I originally wasn't going to comment on this, but I think the level of curiosity regarding the lack of interviews from Owen has gotten to the point that some context is needed.
Owen used to do all kinds of interviews and press tours up until 2007. In 2007, Owen attempted suicide by slitting his wrist and taking a lot of pills. Luckily, his younger brother, Luke, found him. He made it.
Since then, Owen has declined interviews because the press was all over him with deeply invasive questions. His suicide attempt was publicized everywhere, and despite multiple requests, the press wouldn't grant him privacy. Only recently, in 2021, 14 years later, has Owen talked about the incident and how his older brother, Andrew, helped him post-rehab. I don't doubt that he's continuing to avoid interviews to decline follow-up questions.
It is often the funniest, most positive people who suffer intense depression. We are extraordinarily lucky Owen is still with us, gifting us with his wit and making us laugh. We should honor his desire for privacy.
Great. Guess who attempted at school and now needs a clear backpack, no shoelaces or hoodie strings? Take a guess
painfully familiar au: suuji + character aesthetics
⚠️TW suicidal behavior⚠️
PREV










IM SORRY THIS WAS TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE LMFAOO
SHAGGY LORE? KINDA?
Suicide mention warning

Immortal Tim
Jason breaking into the tower or whatever, that one scene everyone loves. Tim has a knife to his neck and a very visible sprained ankle.
"Uh."
"Hi."
"Are you trying to kill yourself?"
"Noo..."
"You are holding a knife to your neck."
"I'm... Shaving?"
"Your non existent beard?"
"That just means I did a good job."
"You know, I was gonna beat you up but i'll come another day. Dont kill yourself until then."
"Yeah sure."
Doesnt wait for jason to leave the room and kills himself.
"For the record, that was not me."
one (1)
i was never actively suicidal.
it wasn’t until i was shaking on the floor, (was i drunk?) staring at my wrists realizing that i may have fucked it up this time.
there was never a solid date and time, (why would there be?)
it wasn’t until the blood was dripping on the floor that i texted my friends, in complete fucking crisis, completely fucking incoherent,
“does she still have all your knives?”
“see, here’s the part you’re not going to like.”
i ripped a page out of a hard bound sketchbook. (there were rules?) addressed it to you, don’t totally remember what i said, something along the lines of “i think i might have accidentally ended it tonight, don’t blame yourself, i love you”
i write backwards to obscure what i say, as if my erratic way of jumping from thought to thought wasn’t enough. work for it. i don’t make easy listens. i give you something to analyze. everything has a reason.
or maybe i’m just a shit writer
i remember when i came back to my dorm room. everything was untouched. a half empty jug of milk sitting outside my fridge. the note in front of the door. a pile of blankets on the floor by the window, because i spent a whole week crying. my goldfish swimming in their tank on top of my desk. blood on the floor. i was wearing that bullets long sleeve.
blue jeans.
that’s how you know i’m sad. when i’m wearing colors? some part of me must love myself, because i do everything i can to try and cheer myself up.
want to talk about it?
some other part of me must hate myself, because he says “fuck this,” and i don't remember where i was going with the sentence, which is actually the problem.
endings. i was never too good at those. and yet i keep apologizing for it instead of trying to fix it.