James: What Is Love?

James: What is love?

Peter: An emotional minefield.

Remus: A neurochemical reaction.

Sirius: Baby don't hurt me.

Happy 27th!

Baz! Hurry! The scones have already been served!

i love that dbd acknowledges that edwin and charles have 30+ years of "noodle incidents" to confuse crystal with. imagine the gang is looking through old cases for info they think might be useful and its just:

edwin: check the case of the courthouse

charles: was that the one where we got arrested or the one where we got married?

crystal: im sorry- what?!

edwin: no, the courthouse was the one where you tried to receive your own life insurance

crystal: nonono backtrack a second- when were you two going to tell me about this

charles: ok technically we didn't get married, lewis and gina turner did, but-

crystal: im not talking about that

crystal: im talking about edwin having a criminal record

-two days later-

crystal: wait you tried to get your own life insurance

edwin: he got in a rather embarrassing argument with a receptionist over the issue

charles: its why im not allowed to be the woman anymore

edwin: indeed, we used to play the stationary game for the role

crystal: i have so many questions but lets start with this, the stationary game??

charles: rock paper scissors

*Bullying Prevention Day*

McGonagall: Mary , what would you do if one of your classmates viciously teased you again and again?

Mary: Oh, that’s easy. I’d take a pencil out of my pencil case—

McGonagall: To write something to your teacher?

Mary : —make sure that it’s really sharp, and ram it into their eye at full tilt! My mom always says the pencil is mightier than the sword because they can’t outlaw bringing pencils to school!

McGonagall:

The rest of the class:

Lily: *whispering to Marlene* I think I’m in love with Mary

jude: don’t worry I’ve got a few knives up my sleeve.

taryn: I think you mean cards.

cardan: she does not.

jude, pulling out knives: I did not.