Thank You Again For Taking The Time Out To Respond To My Question About Maladaptive Daydreaming! Ive

Thank you again for taking the time out to respond to my question about Maladaptive Daydreaming! I’ve been doing it since I was around 6, I can remember being in the car with my mom and looking out the window daydreaming. Or even when I started school, I would daydream on the school bus while listening to music. Making up all sorts of scenarios to entertain myself with. I feel like I use it to escape my present surroundings or to pass the time by? I always find myself doing it when I’m bored or unstimulated.

Part of me also thinks it could have something to do with the fact that I’m the only girl, I have two older brothers and as a kid I felt lonely a lot like I didn’t have anyone to play with so I would daydream. It felt good. Drifting off mentally to another place where I get to choose the outcome, the narrative.

I mostly daydream about being the main character. Like I’m always at the center of attention and I’m daydreaming about ppl showering me with attention or compliments. I worry too much about what ppl think of me. It causes anxiety a lot of times. I’m trying to teach myself to stop wondering about what ppl think but it’s so hard. I grew up a people pleaser as I’m sure you can relate us 7h suns! And then other times I’m daydreaming about my fantasies like being married and having kids, my career, going out with friends, fun events. Things I really want to happen.

I have a 8h Pisces mars (I do consider myself intuitive and I feel like God sends me premonitions through my dreams! I’ll dream of something and a few days later it’ll happen in real life!) but other than that I don’t have much water in my chart. I’m a 6h Capricorn moon and a Leo rising! I don’t have any planets in my 12h but there’s Cancer there and then my Leo north node not sure if that matters.

Fantasies are creativity

Somethings stand out to me because I have done them too and a lot of people with similar placements can relate to these feelings. Being important, center of attention, somehow knowing the inner thoughts of people about me, only wanting to be known for good things and accomplishments, having fantasies of grandiose success/perfect partner who loves me a lot/wanting to be everything to everyone and befriend everyone in the world. On the surface, these may look like narcissistic tendencies, but on deeper exploration, we find that it is our psyche that has not adapted to society yet. Yes you do live in the physical world but also not? Because you are living a life which is both physical and imaginary. Dr. Carl Jung has talked about the importance of fantasy as the source of human creativity. Do you see how the kind of fantasies we have are also the same as portrayed by Hollywood movies, aren't they similar? But we are not movie directors and daydreaming is distracting us from living a life.

How is your ego?

At the same time, in real life, you may be someone who is easily hurt by words and criticism, perhaps you are also sensitive to emotions of people and can intuitively tell their intentions by way of feelings (8h Mars). Are you also envious of those who have it better than you? Somewhere in some place, perhaps because of sun 7h or otherwise, the ego is not fully formed. It identifies with the main character in fantasies, maybe you also identify with people in TV show and movies. If my guess is right, MDD is rooted in having low confidence, weak identity and undeveloped ego. Maybe lacking a certain self knowledge too. By MDD, do you mean that you also walk in spaces, along with physical movements and expressions, really engrossed in the daydream like it is an alternate reality which feels very real to you - and you are confused why real people do not behave like they do in your daydreams? Certainly, people in MDD are much more nicer, calmer, loving and kind than in real life.

Long term solution

In short term, there are things that people suggest like mindfulness, being grounded, writing it out that helps them. But it did not help me. I really psychoanalyzed myself and each emotion, it felt like opening a portal to the psyche that changed the way I look at life. This was my path; if it feels like something you can connect with then perhaps reading about deep psychology, metaphysics, how reality is structured will transform your life. Though I have also read in these communities that some people learn to live with their MDD because it adds value to their life, some use it for creative writing, some stop daydreaming suddenly for no reason, while some keep struggling forever.

Death

Death belongs to the realm of faith.

You are right to believe you will die.

It sustains you.

If you didn't believe it, could you bear the life you have?

If we could not totally rely on the certainty that it will end, how could you bear all this?

Nevertheless, it is only a matter of faith.

And the worst thing about it is that you are not sure.

Feeling Powerless in the 8th House?

Power is a strange thing. At first, it provokes the images of government, corporates, police, institutions, leaders in mind. On a personal level, it provokes images of parents, partner, inter-human relationships, schools, and even social media. Likes, reblogs, followers, public engagement give a sense of "power".

Power is not even a bad thing. It gives you competence, strength to get things done, self defence, self preservation and to live in society, you need power. Power is the child of socialization, how else will you get things done? How else will one survive in this world?

But where we do feel powerless is in the 8th house. "You are not in control of your life", this sentence alone is enough to create crisis in mind. That your relationships, goals, desires, personality, actions, intentions, thoughts, looks, luck, life story, fortune and misfortune, nothing is your own is a scary thing to realize. I cannot even afford to lose this tumblr account, let alone lose my identity, possessions and ego, then how can I happily surrender my power to the forces of the 8th house? If I don't have any power then I am as good as a dead body.

Ego v/s Powerlessness

8th house is like the reverse of everything you have been told by the society. Ever since my confrontation with this house, I feel like everything that is visible, written, told is a lie and only that is truth which is invisible, unwritten and untold. As soon as something is brought outside in the surface, it loses its truthfulness. No amount of spirituality and mysticism can explain the truth because it will not remain truth if it is brought to the surface. Everything that is brought to the surface is immediately influenced by the ego, vanity, narcissism, arrogance of the outside word. Bring a fish out of the ocean and it immediately dies. Its real place is inside the ocean. What belongs to the ocean be left in its original place. Then how do we know that the fish exist? We know because we "feel". 8th house is one of intuition (gut feelings and hunches) and feelings (that thing in your body that eats you alive). We "feel" love but as soon as try to describe that love it loses its truthfulness. You are now looking for the words, language, sentences to express your love and then you look for appreciation, acknowledgement, reciprocation and acceptance of your love. All this is vanity in a micro level.

Humility and Detachment

Okay guys, I am a humble person because I am self aware and talk about humility, so I am a down to earth and nice person, ok? But isn't it .... self-contradictory? 8th house teaches you real humility, the real thing that is not about self expression and preaching, it is about hiding yourself in the closet because you are really feeling humble. Ironically, we are a society that thrives on goals, aspirations and advancement then the 8th house is like the party pooper that tries to make you humble when all the other kids are being cool and dancing around. Not fair, sir, I hate such schools that don't treat all students equally and fairly. But 8th house is the teacher that chooses few students and teaches them real humility and brings them back to the track every time they go astray. This humility is strange because it is not in the words or performance or poetries; real humility is a thing that you know inside and then keep your lips closed because those who know don't need understanding and preaching, while those who are not there yet look for all kind of guidance and tuition. 8th house chooses its own students and they don't even know they are the chosen ones because there are no regular classes. Some days, everything seems normal, life is fine and then 8th house will summon you for emergency classes because you let something go to your head, you were vain and dishonest, you were selfish and acted against your conscience, so the teacher will call you back to the classroom and teach you real humility once again. 8th also has no notes and lessons, you are your own teacher, you will be just made to face your feelings, memories, behaviours, sometimes in isolation all alone for days or weeks, until you understand the pattern and interconnectedness of everything and change your behaviours for the future.

A Nobody in Nowhere

Even in the occult community, we have people who are egoistic, narcissists and vain, so why call out "others" when it is the humanity itself that is deeply entangled in the dirt of vanity. The other end of vanity is that you are a nobody in nowhere. If I completely surrender all my vanity then I close this account and never share my opinion on anything because conversations are impossible without some layers of ego. When two people sit and talk, they see each other's ego. Every time they open their mouths, it is their ego that speaks. It is just impossible to live a life without some ego, even if a thin layer of it. Writing this post is "my" assertion of "my" ego. And the silliest thing is that this enlightenment comes and goes, one minute one feels like they are finally enlightened and the next minute they are again confused. I think it is because there are 12 houses in a birth chart and there is more to life than what happens in 8th house alone. Whereas your 8th house may want you to surrender your ego, but your 1st house placements may want you to become a poster boy in your workplace. Two conflicting desires - To be somebody and To not be somebody. This is why self awareness and deep insights into your feelings will keep you sane here. It is a scary house when you are a newbie, but with enough training and understanding, it becomes the door to even greater understanding of 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th houses. These are the houses of the collective, greater, bigger than life and larger than an individual.

Still Feeling Powerless?

Me too. But I guess this is the challenge, to find a personal power deep within and to preserve it. Perhaps this is the reason why these natives sometimes get really spiritual, celibate and mystical. Because they preserve and protect their personal power against the world. To stand in the face of uncertainty and yet trust the patterns. To stare into the darkness and yet have scotopic vision. To get things done and yet surrender your power attitude. 8th house is like living in the dark nights when you were accustomed to living in the bright mornings and sunny afternoons. The only problem is to let go of the bitterness, resentment and frustration that comes with seeing other people still consumed in their illusions. But if we are to accept our own ignorance then we have to be tolerant with others as well, because knowledge itself is ignorance as they say. Perhaps the language of the unconscious is "silence" because the moment we start speaking all the demons and dangers of mind are summoned.

The journey to this realization comes in many ways. For me, it came from healing my childhood traumas and family inheritances of behaviours, thoughts, attitudes and emotions. "Dysfunctional family" but it turns out that there was this deeper meaning underneath all the dysfunction. Perhaps there is no such thing as "functional and healthy". Of course I am not romanticizing abuse at all. But it is surprising to see how healing childhood trauma leads to the point of spiritual path, it leads you to realize that the society as a whole is pretty dysfunctional and the only functional place is the underworld.

"You cannot live without getting into trouble, cannot think, cannot feel; you can do nothing without getting into trouble. For trouble is what we are all looking for; we all hate it—we want to be perfectly nice and frank—but we are looking for trouble."

— Carl Jung, Nietzsche's Zarathustra

Karmic Relationship Concept

Karmic relationship was unfinished in previous lifetimes and purpose is to balance the energy

Both people feel karmic pressure or psychic pressure that "my heart is yearning for this specific person but I dont know whether they really exist"

Both feel like the other is their soul image, that "he/she is the one I was looking for subconsciously"

It is not about how cute, interesting, smart, rich you both are, it is about the feelings you feel for each other, that "I know he/she is flawed, but I cannot resist wanting him/her"

You both may or may not love each other!!! Karmic does not always mean loving or fulfilling. Karmic basically means balance of give and take

It may not be how you fantasize things. You can be in karmic relationship and yet fantasize a fairytale. So be realistic of your expectations 🙏

Sometimes people go through karmic relationship but learn nothing about themselves. They come out with list of complaints how their person was lacking, unfulfilling, disappointing. But the point is major self development

Some karmic relationship is the one that you feel like you were born to be with them, that "if not you, I can't imagine being with someone else". Every karmic relationship varies case by case 💕

But the major sign of how this particular FATED relationship differs from every other relationship is the INTUITIVE knowing of your person. That your intuition knew he/she is the one you want, even before you met them, your imagination and feelings guide you. "I knew about you somehow, I just knew"

Things happen around you that guide you to them. You gain sudden insights that remind you of them. You may even feel like you are changing into the kind of person and personality they are. That "Universe was preparing me for you even before I knew it" 💕

You both feel like doing a lot of things for each other. "You were so empty without me, let me do things for you"

You both find yourself in situations where nobody else comes to your assistance. You are for them and they are for you. No friends and family follow through, only you two are each other's rock

You both may be shocked how your life paths met in hindsight. The babysteps, sleepless nights, twists and turns of events led you to each other. "Zig-zag, that's how I found you"

You both may provoke strong emotions in each other. That "Something heavy in my heart I carried through my childhood, only to show it to you"

Perhaps you both had an intuitive idea of each other. That you had a mental picture of them or something about their personality you always knew or something that is unique or quirky about them that you were not supposed to know beforehand unless it was karmic

To attract karmic relationship, you also need to have the natal placements that trigger them

Whether they will last a lifetime or not, who knows?

You both tackle personal issues and insecurities. That everyone does tackle but in a karmic relationship especially, things and beef with other people sort out and you are at peace with yourself, you sort of forget your past and things change after you meet them

Your values align though they may not align with other people in your life, but this one person he/she is exactly on the same page as you

Maybe you were a social butterfly but you change into a wallflower so you can spend time with someone who actually matters more than anybody else

Perhaps you both had challenging lives but it is all worth it now. This one person makes all the effort worth it

To be continued..

8th house -  Deepest Union through the purity of Absolute Truth

The union in the 8th house occurs through a turbulent transformation, that takes place when our most cherished, personal ideals get confronted with intimate ideals of the other party. 

If we want to truly connect with another person, we need to learn how to merge both of these worlds together. We can’t live life forsaking either our sacred, internal principles (4th house) or people’s reactions to them (7th house). We need both of these parts of us to be preserved, so we need to learn how to reach a compromise, for the benefit of everyone involved. 

As a result, while some things have to die in the 8th house, something entirely new is formed here, when we have learned how to preserve our inner peace and stay true to ourselves (4th house), but still confront our intimate world with the outside through exposing it in connections with others (7th house). We give birth to the 8th house theme of shared values and resources. The 8th house reflects Scorpio themes of Mars and Pluto. Here, we shed our skin while refining ourselves, like polishing a diamond in the rough. You don’t throw the precious stone away, but you chisel away at it with determination (Mars), until you can in good conscience feel that purity of absolute truth (Pluto).

The 8th house, as a water house is very sensitive to natural rhythms of the Earth and cyclical changes, that also reflect in human beings. The transformation that occurs here is not a one time process, but an experience we are always forced to return to, being a very necessary step to the feeling of enlightenment and divine presence, that occurs in the 9th house. 

Our minds and souls are always gradually, yet constantly changing and evolving, so to truly remain united with another person, both parties must continuously purify themselves from any insincerity, and stay in tune with themselves and each other, in accordance with the personal growth of both parties. For people with personal planets in the 8th house, this purging process lasts a lifetime.