PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT SERIES: For 8th House Placements

PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT SERIES: For 8th house placements

This series is especially for girls, because that's who I am and can connect to. Since it is astro linked, this is especially true for venus in 8th house/scorpio placements. It can apply to other placements too if you can connect with it. Anyway, what I share on my blog are things I have personally dealt with, so it comes from my heart and soul :)

There is something called "Female Dating Strategy". The first time I read the posts on reddit and elsewhere, it did not make any sense to me. But as I got older and wiser, I could understand everything. Even if you are not interested in dating, venus in 8th house/scorpio ladies, go check out this community. Their tips on self worth, self respect, not being clingy needy emotional will really help you. It is absolute must for venus in 8th house or scorpio because god damn they are emotional, romance obsessed, living in fairytale and taking people at face value.

8th house 💏 Psychology. I have not met a single 8th houser who was not interested in psychology. Even if they did not read books, they were still perceptive, sensitive and emotionally aware. YouTube, blogs, reddit, Quora are full of psychology related testimonials and discussions. You all need to look up what personality disorders cluster A B C mean because feelings are not facts. Just playing mind games is not enough, educate yourself. These natives are the ones to say "Who was looking for a relationship but ended up getting a degree in psychology?"

The ugly truth is that all of us have shadows. If you were born in a narcissistic/borderline family unit, please do not date until you have fixed your shadow. This is why it will help you to do some self actualization, you yandere girls. Dont, dont, dont trust people blindly, not even me.

Beware of old men. No daddy issues please. Old men looking to date young girls because they are gentlemen can go live on mars. Especially for intense women, they will ignore red flags in favour of connection and security. Old men have experience in manipulation and sweet talking. I dont care if your parents were 20 years apart, 8th houser or scorpio are going to learn big lesson if they give themselves blindly to old men. No matter how good they pretend to be. Persona is not reality.

This is it for now.

Venus in 8th house & relationship trauma

How many lovers have you had and how many did not give you trauma? When did you start dating, btw?

When it comes to venus in 8th, what comes to my mind is a sex magnet, obsessive and devotional. Stop losing yourself in your lover's hands. There is a desire to merge with and consume their lover. The best way I can think of to describe is like cellular fusion in biology:

Reference: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karyogamy

There is a lot of intense energy looking for an outlet. If not romance, she will direct this energy in spirituality. But before she will know her spiritual gifts, she will go through relationship trauma.

It can be seen that the most traumatizing lovers were similar to each other. I met the first one at age 13 and next one at 21. Both were similar in appearance & life identity. The first one ruined my teenage years. The last one gave me mental breakdown. Both these "lovers" were the most traumatizing points in my life. I was OBSESSED with both of them. Both were "secretive" and I met them in dark ways suddenly without warning. Both were predatory and manipulative. I idolized them both and put them on a pedestal. I did a lot of ego massage & codependent wife like treatment.

In my mom's bloodline, there is history of mental issues and emotional chaos. When I was 13, I hardly knew anything about life. But when I was 21, my life had evolved and I had a career, family life, hobbies. But I was infantile in the sense that I was impulsive and irrational. I could not stand being single and was OBSESSED with romantic relationships. This trauma was an opportunity to heal my generational trauma & psychological inheritance.

After my mental breakdown, I came across this content:

Some quotes from this book:

Romantic love always consists in the projection of the soul-image. When a woman falls in love it is animus that she sees projected onto the mortal man before her.

No aspect of the human psyche can live in a healthy state unless it is balanced by its complementary opposite. If the masculine mind tries to live without its “other half,” the feminine soul, then the masculine becomes unbalanced, sick, and finally monstrous. Power without love becomes brutality. Feeling without masculine strength becomes woolly sentimentality. When one side of human nature grows out of balance with the other, it becomes a tyranny in the soul.

One of the great paradoxes in romantic love is that it never produces human relationship as long as it stays romantic. It produces drama, daring adventures, wondrous, intense love scenes, jealousies, and betrayals; but people never seem to settle into relationship with each other as flesh-and-blood human beings until they are out of the romantic love stage, until they love each other instead of being “in love".

Jung once quoted a medieval alchemist who said, “Only what is separated may be properly joined.” When two things are muddled together they need to be separated, distinguished, and untangled so that they may later be rejoined in a workable synthesis. This is the correct meaning of “analysis” in psychology; to analyze is to separate out the entangled threads of one’s inner life—the confused values, ideals, loyalties, and feelings—so that they may be synthesized in a new way. We analyze romantic love, not to destroy it, but to understand what it is and where it belongs in our lives. Analysis must always serve synthesis in order to serve life; what is taken apart must be put back together again.

I unlearned all the default things I learned growing up. It was a complete rebirth in the sense of 8th house transformation. The source of my romance obsession was a deep need for self actualization and spirituality. It was a need for looking within and understanding "myself". I talk about "high value woman" but I automatically became a high value woman once I started self actualizing. I was more confident, more assertive, more stable, in control of my emotions, took time to read books, rationalized my feelings rather than be impulsive, analyzed my values, beliefs, character, flaws, failures, weaknesses. I know my insecurities and know how to handle them. It was a journey from a fucked up person to somewhat rational person. I still have my days of chaos but it gets managed.

This is what I suppose 8th house venus looks like. Self destruction and self development. However, is this the last time we go through this.......

Hi there.

In that one post you talked about 8th houser girls and that they should beware of older men and so.

Can you define older?

Like whats the line?

Thanks and have a great day😇

Hi. Honestly, there is no one parameter

My mom is 8th houser who married 9 year her senior. My dad is 8th houser who married 9 year his junior. I cannot comment on their married life because I have no business in that.

I am 8th houser and was involved with a 10 year senior who was my biggest mistake. I also have Saturn in 5th, so that might have something to do with it.

What I meant to say was that young 8th houser people have an intense emotional life. Since it is a water house, there is a sort of introverted, feeler type, tolerant energy in them. They tolerate a lot rather than asserting boundaries. Since their life path is also full of ups and downs, they are confused juggling between their emotions and life problems. "Whether I deal with my negative emotions or deal with this sudden career problem or do both?"

In situations like these, we naturally seek support system, someone to hold our hand. Young girls in general and 8th houser in particular have little life experience, almost always daddy issues, low standards in people especially men because they did not have ideal Male role models, do not know their self worth because they were always doing emotional work for others and are gullible because their irrational mind clouds their rational mind.

For eg, "why will this dude say he loves me when we met 1 week back?" A rational girl will say: bullshit, he is manipulating me, no time for players heh. Whereas an irrational 8th houser girl will say: oh my prince charming, my hero, yes I trust you, so this is love uhuhuhu.... love me like you do lalala.

Of course, if the other planets support therapy, other life experiences and maturity, she will not fall into such situations. Boys your age dont have as much experience in manipulation but the older men know just the right thing to say. This is just a warning not a rule. I have read that as a rule you should not date someone older than 5 years when you are young. As you get older, you can raise the age bar only if you trust what you are doing. Even then, life happens. 8th house is unpredictable events. Life is unpredictable anyway :)

Some predatory signs to look out for:

predators know what they are doing. no ignorant predator

They look out for naive weak unalarmed inexperienced

Target has flesh, money, influence, sex, beauty whatever they want

Test boundaries. How far they can go

Very smart with what they do.

No inner conscience and spiritual life

Mirror what the target wants and likes

Pretend to be friend and mentor or caretaker or well wisher

Will not let you go at any cost. you are their supply. Only death can break you apart

Spout wisdom, stories, myth to keep you hooked to them. Use the power of words to control the target.

Ego centric. Fire signs when immature can be like this. Self proclaimed god like status

Target people who are unenlightened, dont know what they are doing, easily misled, freshers, juniors

The target's pain is a joke to them. they actually enjoy when the target figures them out. they smirk and smile. you got me lol. they ignore you and find a new target. they love to play with the mind of their target

somehow they also get lucky with material life. They get success money wealth connections and quality of life despite being monsters.

They even call themselves heroes. like i said self peoclaimed god. Next generations think they were actually that great as they make out to be

Tone deaf, stubborn, unmoved and egocentric.

They are not only in material communities but also in spiritual and religious communities. Baba, gurus doing group orgies and calling it enlightenment. This is serious issue to think about.

Some heartfelt advice for 8th venus ladies:

I can empathize with the emotional struggles of this placement. It is almost as if the society we are born in somehow runs on conventions that are pre existing. Trying to live by values, high standards, principles, morals, ethics, virtues is looked down upon, ridiculed, called as noob. It is almost like the society, media, politics rewards and celebrates being crooked, unethical, disorganized. I think it is projection of collective shadows and rejection of what we dislike in ourselves onto others who are not similar to us. Irony is that on a superficial level, all of us try to do virtue signalling and portray a highly moral persona of ourselves but we dont like to do the hard work of actully living according to our standards.

Venus in 8th house lady comes across such situations in life where she realizes how messed up the social systems are. How people are fake, pretentious, hypocrite and merely holding an image of goodness but dont actually live like that. She can see through lies, deception and fakery - and she hates that. This lady then does shadow work - it is usually after a major heartbreak that she figures out her emotional issues. Thereby she learns to manage her emotions to raise herself from the puddle of bad social circles. This is why it is also called the placement of rebirth or emerging like a lotus from the mud.

Shadow work is dirty and when the mud clears, it is time to rise above the social conventions and expectations. It is time to become what we call a High Value Woman. A high value woman lives by her values and standards. She is sophisticated, soft spoken, ladylike. Dont mistake high value woman for misogyny or stereotype. But it is character development. You can call it whatever you want but it is about emotional strength and realizing her inner will. It is about self actualization and reaching her highest potential.

Some traits of a high value woman are: she knows her worth, values, her time is not free for everyone, does not engage with toxic people, has emotional control, is classy, does not put down other women to look good, does not need male validation to feel desirable, is Stoic, has a career, has some pursuit in life, well read, thoughtful speaker, lives by morals and principles. In relationship, she does not appear clingy, has an identity of her own, does not chase the man, lets the man be the provider, does not play mind games, does not cheat, emotionally connected and invested in her partner. Some personal values are: empathy, kindness, classy, lives with dignity, has self respect, has boundaries for toxic people, etc. Moreover, she constantly improves her own darkness and becomes a little better person everyday.

Some of these traits might not feel good to those who dont have venus 8th house but it is really essential for these ladies because of their life themes. I dont even have to share this, just meet any 8th house venus lady in the random place and she will tell you how much character development she has gone through. No matter the nation, the state, the race, the language, anyone with 8th house venus really goes through self transformation in secrecy. It is the hallmark of this placement.

The sooner you transform the better the result. You can then attract a fellow High value man and live a drama free satisfying emotionally fulfilling private relationship. Emotional control is as important to these ladies as is brakes in a car. Since your life theme is very fated, you have psychic gifts and things happen suddenly in your life, better to drive your car smoothly to make the twists and turns easier. Dont race your car, drive in limits. Better safe than sorry.

Some dangerous advice i have heard of:

Everyone deserves love and compassion.i dont think love should be given out freely. Dont abuse others but dont wear your heart on your sleeves.

With enough love and kindness, they can change.People change when they face adversity or bad luck or suffering or any life changing event. There is no change without destruction. Dont believe the false idea of change and false claims of self improvement. People dont just change on a random friday because they have had enough of their bad behaviour

No concept of boundaries in blood related family. I dont know why this is something that we ignore in families

Mentorship and guidance will change the bad person. A lot of times i read in r/buddhism the example of angulimala whom Buddha changed. This is folklore. Please dont try to change the world

Nonduality means we all are one. See behind the flesh. See the human behind the mask. I only understand the concept of "forgiveness".

To tolerate abuse because it makes you look wise, tolerant, kind

Material pursuits are bad. spiritual pursuits are superior (even if the spiritual gurus take gifts and donations from devotees)

Be friends eith everyone. everyone has positive qualities to teach you. You dont need a bad person to teach you positive qualities.

You need to put your power outside yourself in someone. I think that guru is inside only

Life lessons. What life lessons? I dont believe in life lessons. There are life paths. I think universe is indifferent to pleasure and pain

the right person will change the bad person. Please no. Only the bad peeson can change himself. The external forces can only trigger not change them

You must empathize with bad people even. They are just ignorant. Please no. Choose your companions wisely. Beware of advise like these: