Hi There.

Hi there.

In that one post you talked about 8th houser girls and that they should beware of older men and so.

Can you define older?

Like whats the line?

Thanks and have a great day😇

Hi. Honestly, there is no one parameter

My mom is 8th houser who married 9 year her senior. My dad is 8th houser who married 9 year his junior. I cannot comment on their married life because I have no business in that.

I am 8th houser and was involved with a 10 year senior who was my biggest mistake. I also have Saturn in 5th, so that might have something to do with it.

What I meant to say was that young 8th houser people have an intense emotional life. Since it is a water house, there is a sort of introverted, feeler type, tolerant energy in them. They tolerate a lot rather than asserting boundaries. Since their life path is also full of ups and downs, they are confused juggling between their emotions and life problems. "Whether I deal with my negative emotions or deal with this sudden career problem or do both?"

In situations like these, we naturally seek support system, someone to hold our hand. Young girls in general and 8th houser in particular have little life experience, almost always daddy issues, low standards in people especially men because they did not have ideal Male role models, do not know their self worth because they were always doing emotional work for others and are gullible because their irrational mind clouds their rational mind.

For eg, "why will this dude say he loves me when we met 1 week back?" A rational girl will say: bullshit, he is manipulating me, no time for players heh. Whereas an irrational 8th houser girl will say: oh my prince charming, my hero, yes I trust you, so this is love uhuhuhu.... love me like you do lalala.

Of course, if the other planets support therapy, other life experiences and maturity, she will not fall into such situations. Boys your age dont have as much experience in manipulation but the older men know just the right thing to say. This is just a warning not a rule. I have read that as a rule you should not date someone older than 5 years when you are young. As you get older, you can raise the age bar only if you trust what you are doing. Even then, life happens. 8th house is unpredictable events. Life is unpredictable anyway :)

Venus in 8th house & relationship trauma

How many lovers have you had and how many did not give you trauma? When did you start dating, btw?

When it comes to venus in 8th, what comes to my mind is a sex magnet, obsessive and devotional. Stop losing yourself in your lover's hands. There is a desire to merge with and consume their lover. The best way I can think of to describe is like cellular fusion in biology:

Reference: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karyogamy

There is a lot of intense energy looking for an outlet. If not romance, she will direct this energy in spirituality. But before she will know her spiritual gifts, she will go through relationship trauma.

It can be seen that the most traumatizing lovers were similar to each other. I met the first one at age 13 and next one at 21. Both were similar in appearance & life identity. The first one ruined my teenage years. The last one gave me mental breakdown. Both these "lovers" were the most traumatizing points in my life. I was OBSESSED with both of them. Both were "secretive" and I met them in dark ways suddenly without warning. Both were predatory and manipulative. I idolized them both and put them on a pedestal. I did a lot of ego massage & codependent wife like treatment.

In my mom's bloodline, there is history of mental issues and emotional chaos. When I was 13, I hardly knew anything about life. But when I was 21, my life had evolved and I had a career, family life, hobbies. But I was infantile in the sense that I was impulsive and irrational. I could not stand being single and was OBSESSED with romantic relationships. This trauma was an opportunity to heal my generational trauma & psychological inheritance.

After my mental breakdown, I came across this content:

Some quotes from this book:

Romantic love always consists in the projection of the soul-image. When a woman falls in love it is animus that she sees projected onto the mortal man before her.

No aspect of the human psyche can live in a healthy state unless it is balanced by its complementary opposite. If the masculine mind tries to live without its “other half,” the feminine soul, then the masculine becomes unbalanced, sick, and finally monstrous. Power without love becomes brutality. Feeling without masculine strength becomes woolly sentimentality. When one side of human nature grows out of balance with the other, it becomes a tyranny in the soul.

One of the great paradoxes in romantic love is that it never produces human relationship as long as it stays romantic. It produces drama, daring adventures, wondrous, intense love scenes, jealousies, and betrayals; but people never seem to settle into relationship with each other as flesh-and-blood human beings until they are out of the romantic love stage, until they love each other instead of being “in love".

Jung once quoted a medieval alchemist who said, “Only what is separated may be properly joined.” When two things are muddled together they need to be separated, distinguished, and untangled so that they may later be rejoined in a workable synthesis. This is the correct meaning of “analysis” in psychology; to analyze is to separate out the entangled threads of one’s inner life—the confused values, ideals, loyalties, and feelings—so that they may be synthesized in a new way. We analyze romantic love, not to destroy it, but to understand what it is and where it belongs in our lives. Analysis must always serve synthesis in order to serve life; what is taken apart must be put back together again.

I unlearned all the default things I learned growing up. It was a complete rebirth in the sense of 8th house transformation. The source of my romance obsession was a deep need for self actualization and spirituality. It was a need for looking within and understanding "myself". I talk about "high value woman" but I automatically became a high value woman once I started self actualizing. I was more confident, more assertive, more stable, in control of my emotions, took time to read books, rationalized my feelings rather than be impulsive, analyzed my values, beliefs, character, flaws, failures, weaknesses. I know my insecurities and know how to handle them. It was a journey from a fucked up person to somewhat rational person. I still have my days of chaos but it gets managed.

This is what I suppose 8th house venus looks like. Self destruction and self development. However, is this the last time we go through this.......

SOME ASTRO MISTAKES I HAVE MADE SO FAR WHILE LEARNING THINGS:

Trying to use astrology to predict longetivity and death of someone. This is really controversial and hard to predict. Perhaps someone with gifted intuition can predict something like this but using just astrology is not a good idea. Astrology cannot tell how long someone will live or when they will die. For eg, contrary to popular belief that saturn in 8th house gives very long life, i have seen many natives passing in their middle ages. Similarly, all inner planets in 8th house have reputation of giving long lives but this is not the case. Sigmund Freud with moon in 8th house taurus died at 83 while Steve Jobs with moon in 8th house pisces died at 56. It was truly my mistake to use astrology for such taboo thing and to try to become God. In Vimshottari dasha chart, a lot of times such mahadasha, antardasha align that may generate paranoia that the native may pass away in that time period but no it doesnt work like that in every time period. In hindsight, when the native has already passed, perhaps it is possible to see in which time period they did pass and attribute that to it but it is risk of cognitive bias and there is no mental work involved. So, i think that it is very hard if not impossible to predict death from astrology. Anyway astrology must not be used for such sadistic purposes. Make the most out of each day you have. No person born will go back alive. One famous astrologer in India Bejan Daruwala passed away in corona period when he himself was doing predictions on corona. How ironic! I have seen astrologers predicting that such person will be alive for next 5 years and it is just a bad time period currently, but the native passed away within one month only. This kind of thing breaks my faith in astro and also makes the whole thing rather scary. I promised myself not to do something like this again in my astro studies. I refrain from doing death predictions.

Trying to read zodiac sign predictions to predict what will hapoen in coming month, year. This was when i was new to astro. I was born in June so my zodiac is Gemini. I used to read Gemini predictions for the coming month and year on random astro websites and blindly trusted it too. I remember preparing for exam and reading prediction that coming month will be good for students blah blah.. guess what? I failed that exam. This was rather stupid thing to do and i totally deserved what i got. 12 zodiac signs is not real astrology. Real astrology is the birth chart, time period of planets, perhaps tarot is also linked to it. But pop astrology and predictions are pure gibberish and commercial money making business. If you want to know how your coming week or month or year will be, take out your birth chart, use a reputed website to create vimshottari dasha chart, take out tarot and use your own energy and mind to come up with possible predictions. It also helps to keep a journal of each planetary time period and what happened during that time in your life so that in future you can use that journal to come up with probably future telling for your personal life path. Trying to predict fortune and success from astro alone is again a gamble. You have to trust in your skills and knowledge and practice. Dont repeat the mistake i did of blindly relying on astro to know my exam result.

Zodiac sign compatibility. This is funny but i used to see the birthday of my crush and match his zodiac sign with mine, read random gibberish on websites and thought "nah, we are not compatible, or nah i dont like this zodiac sign, or nah this zodiac sign is too superficial for me.." Couple astrology is only done with birth charts and nothing else. It takes mental effort to match compatibility. On top of that, friendship, values, personalities and willingness to be in relationship are all factors that are not within your control. You can also not tell when someone is being deceptive, lying, faking until you learn people skills and to read personalities. There is just no shortcuts in relationships.

Consuming a lot of youtube content to know astrology. Astrology has basic foundation that you can read in book and some trustworthy websites. There is nothing else to know. Watching random videos for short term gratification and sembalance that i am learning something or being productive is just not it. Astrology is personal tool. Everybody will have different language to say the same thing. Once you have read the basics, have trust in it and do not change your foundation just because someone else said so.

Astrology should not be put on a pedestal. Astrology is valid and gives answers to questions of life but it is just that - a tool, a subject, a field of knowledge. Dont make it your whole life. Dont worship it. Dont make it your whole personality. Dont use it too much that you lose your sanity. Life is meant to live not to figure out. The more you figure out, the more you will see how much is unknown and yet to be explored. You dont have enough years in your life to explore everything that is unconscious.

The only person you need to look up to is yourself. If you cannot tell the answers, i doubt anyone else can. I use to spend a lot of time watching oracle live streams, using random websites of psychics. Use your judgment to discern between money making business and genuine knowledge. Occult world is not devoid of sociopaths who simply want to make money at someone else's expense and being the nature of occult so abstract, it is easy to exploit people in terms of relationship issues, career issues, mental health issues, health issues. We cannot even blame the victim because in that vulnerable time period they are looking at all possible options to fix their problems. We learn from our mistakes only.

What is Fate?

When we hear of 8th house in astrology, we often hear of "fate", but the question comes what is fate? What exactly is fate? Here trying to think about it:

Fate is something that the native did not intend to happen but it happens anyway = this is why it is called inevitable. Intention leads to thought which leads to action (even if you are not self aware, this is how we work).

Native was preoccupied with some other goal but something else happens that changes the track of life. This is why it feels predetermined.

Any event that drastically changes the life path or/and character of the native. Like a toxic relationship that changes you forever

Free will feels like = I intended it to happen so it happened. But fate feels like = I did not intend this but we are dealing anyway.

Like I was intending X to happen but instead Y happened.

Extremes of good luck (fortune) and/or bad luck (doom) is definitely fate. For eg, suddenly losing loved one/a job. Suddenly gaining a lot of inheritance/a lot of money in lottery/marrying to a rich spouse.

Fate is things which are beyond human control = A deadly cancer tha does not cure. Marrying into royal family. Being born in a rich parents house.

As for the question whether destiny applies to everyone or some people have free will, I don't know really. Some people do seem to have their life under control so their perception is that they have free will. Some people do seem to have bouts of twists and turns so their perception is that life is fated. Not everyone faces extreme events or feelings (8th house placements) so they cannot empathize with others. While some like 8th housers or mature scorpio people feel their feelings too intensely so they can empathize with the dark themes in life. In these subjective perceptions, the objective truth gets lost. Or like Nietzsche said "there are no facts, only interpretations".

As for question if life is predetermined or random or future is not certain yet or future is already happening, again questions are too many. We can hypothesize, believe, hope, experience, debate but the answer is as uncertain as "what happens after death?" "why I was born?" "what makes me, me?" Some intuitive and psychic abilities people tell that we are born to pay off our karmic debts and settle past life accounts. Some say that we keep taking birth in similar family like your brother was your father in past life, your mother was wife etc. Some say that life is complicated than that, the stranger is the bus was your mother in past life, the past life husband is someone you do not even know in this life etc. Some say that we choose our own parents, hardships, life plan, life events before birth. Some try to explain with science that everything that happens in nature is in chain reaction caused by previous triggers. Some explain with psychology that feelings, thoughts, beliefs cause our actions. Some explain with philosophy that determinism is the causal link between action and the outcome of events.

As for question, should 8th housers be depressed and sad because of fated events? No. You could choose to stay depressed and victimized but it is not very good for mental health. It is the law of nature to construct after destruction. It sounds rude to say this to someone who is clearly going through a tough time but look deep within yourself and you will see that little feeling of "influence". This is I think why 8th house is also concerned with psychology. When you study psychology and self introspection yourself, you realize that even in the face of the most painful misfortune, there is some influence that we have. Yes my dear, you read it right. It sounds pretentious to say this because depression is really tough to handle. When you are going through a tough time, things don't make sense, mind stops working, no ideas make sense. If you stick it out and come alive on the other side, you would feel something within you. That inner strength. That inner power. That peace. That ability to handle the next misfortune. That numbness of emotions. Ability to rationalize intense feelings. This little thing is perhaps what we call the essence of life.

Venus in 8th house: what does the love interest do to you?

If you have this placement, you must have been with some manipulative, controlling man who was like wolf in the face of sheep. He seemed so decent and perfect from the outside but it was all just a mask to hide the real personality and traits. This "revelation and dark secret coming to light" is the turning point in your life. You begin to really dive deep into your inner world and start healing yourself of intergenerational trauma and others.

What I find really interesting was that although the romantic interest was a douchebag, he introduced me to the world of psychology. I did not know anything about psychoanalysis before. He said he would psychoanalyze me and that is how I learned what was what. I did not even know what psychology meant before him. His knowledge of psychology was just shallow and i had to read things on my own to actually understand everything. Similarly, he told me about philosophy. Again, his knowledge of philosophy was infantile. He told me everything wrong about Nietzsche and others. He was just like someone who read things on reddit and social media, and made it his whole personality to manipulate and entice naive and unaware girls like myself.

Although I really hate him in hindsight, but it was this turning point that I actually really started exploring psychology and philosophy. Both of these subjects are connected to 8th house, so that is a really meaningful coincidence. Venus in 8th house = romantic friend activates your interest in 8th house subjects? Seems valid.

By the way, let's not underestimate the role of other houses and placements in love life. 5th house, 7th house are really crucial to learn too.

Some astro related life lessons I have learned:

Karma is real. I dont know how karma works but it does work. Karma shows rewards through money, material fulfillment, education, career, relationships, marriage. People with success, fame, power, status, money are reaping fruits of their karma. Conversely, bad karma shows as misfortune, ill health, bad character, failure in life, poverty.

Your karma does not end with you. Your children, their children are also impacted by your actions. If you do fair actions, your future generations will have decent destiny. If you do fucked up actions, your future generations will face the consequences too.

Reading your birth chart is crucial to adjust your expectations from life. For eg, 8th house moon should not expect emotional connection and bonding with mom. 12th house sun should not expect available father. There is no point in having impossible expectations when they are not meant to be fulfilled.

"Pseudoscience" does not make any sense. I have experienced synchronicity, premonition, psychic future telling, tarot predictions, astrology making sense to me. These are called pseudoscience but I call them mysticism. They are as real as my existence. I cannot prove them in a lab but they are valid and valuable to me.

Look where your major placements are and what your life theme has been. My most planets are in 7th and 8th house, and my life has indeed been about romantic relationships, occult, psychology, other people. My dad has major planets in 10th and 11th house, and his life has indeed been about career, money, work, outdoors.

Do not be too influenced by media. I think that media is projection of active imagination + profession. It is a mode of escapism from reality. So many of us are happy to invest money in media to escape our realities. This is the power of mind, imagination and feelings.

Astro helps you identify your personality qualities too. I am 8th house and water dominant, and I am indeed emotionally intense, obsessive, strongly emotional and sensitive. I am sensitive to words and get easily hurt. Since I know this, I create measures to shield myself.

Learn to identify psychology patterns and have confidence in what you see. People will gaslight you "you cannot tell how they are feeling, you are making things up, people are unpredictable". No they are not. People and personalities work on a pattern and you can identify it once you deeply understand yourself. Have confidence in your psychoanalysis abilities. I used to be very wrong about people earlier but now that I have started to understand myself, I can also understand other people and their psychology better. I would also suggest to read on personality disorders. That will really enrich your understanding of emotions, behaviour, reactions people follow.

Do not change yourself if you meet bad people. I personally believe that humans are innately bad people. They are selfish, manipulative, jungle animals. Some people have active badness, some have badness in their shadows as repressed qualities. I do not believe that "all humans are good and just make mistakes because of brain complexity". I believe that people choose to be good people: because they fear consequences of their actions or it makes them feel good about themselves or it is their active personality traits or it is the law and order or the civilization and social manners or it is religion and fear of God or desire for good rebirth. If there were no such constraints, humans would be law of jungle. It is hard work to be a good person. It is much easier to surrender to impulses, commit wrong things, harm others, speak lies.