What Is Seen Cannot Be Unseen.

What is seen cannot be unseen.

The first half of life is when you are unconscious, unaware and ignorant. When the gates of 8th house open, everything you knew about life is revealed to you. On emotional, mental, physical plane, secrets are revealed to you. Secret personalities, secret character, secret identity, lies and manipulation. Mental frameworks are broken, presuppositions are ruined, "everything I knew about the world and people was wrong".

What is seen cannot be unseen. You cannot be the same blindfolded native you were before. How careless, intense and emotional you were. Living on auto pilot. Before you know, your life shatters to pieces. Gifted with sharp intuition, you KNOW you have to transform. Memories of past come up to surface, emotionally overwhelmed and confused by "what just happened", you run towards the door but it seems the force is not in your control. What do I do? Where should i go? Help.. Help! Fear not, synchronicities will guide your way. Fateful detours guide your way. Inner reflection begins, childhood traumas are healed, you have the intuition to see through the mask of people. To the outside world, you appear to be lost and broken. But on the inside, you KNOW you are walking the path you were deatined to walk.

You are just not the same person anymore. You are a wounded healer. Relationships change. You are changed forever. You change your thought patterns, emotional reactions and identity. You begin to control the chaos that once controlled you. People say "you are different now, something has changed in you". You are threatening and fierce. You are resilient and reliable. New life begins, new people enter life, new chapter unfolds.

Deep down in your heart, you remember the person you were before. Longing to be that naive, infantile and careless person. You have seen the bad and the dark. You cannot unsee the bad and the dark. Life does not feel the same anymore.

Self development series: learning to handle life.

For 8th housers, scorpio placements - stretch to cancer, pisces placements and risings.

*knocks* Hello, astro world, it's me.. look at my birth chart please and tell me what's wrong with me? Why is my life a mess..? Why do I attract such narcissistic, controlling, manipulative people in my life? Why do i feel like I dont exist and am constantly transforming..? I have a weird relationship with my family.. I have so much trauma... I just want answers...

Just a regular day in the life of natives with vulnerable placements. Until they heal their trauma (which can take years), they would not know how to handle their life. How to not fuck up their relationships, mood, reactions, career, body, mind. The hidden gift of these natives is to be in touch with their insticts and emotional life. They do not just exist but are in tune with their emotional states. When unevolved, they act on their impulses, feelings, imagination, thoughts mindlessly.

When evolved, they have a conscious control over their impulses, feelings, imagination and fantasies. This is a gradual process, not overnight, and one filled with many trials, challenges and fallings. Contrary to the stereotypes, these natives are not doomed to be crybabies/crazy all their lives. They certainly can handle their life, depending upon the whole chart, timing of planets and the luck.

The trick is to know when to be rational and when to let loose. The trick is to change your lifestyle in such a way as accommodates things you can control. For eg, do not buy tubs of ice cream if you know you binge eat in maniac state. The trick is to live in the flow, be in the flow of life, mindfulness comes naturally to you when you are not giving in to every self destructive impulse. The trick is to set values for yourself. For eg, do not do casual hookup if you know you will get attached and obsessive. The trick is to hold yourself to higher standards of behaviour. The trick is to find fellow similar/compatible placement natives who will make your life a little easier. The trick is to become aware of your own inner narcissist and stop feeding him/her what they crave, instead choose the opposite action.

There is a thin line between chaos and order, that these natives know very well of. Sometimes they feel like they do not belong to this world, they are misfits, as if they want to go back to home. As if they daily life is very harsh and tiresome to them. Beware not to fall into the grips of substance abuse and/or criminal gangs. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your life. You have to live anyway, so why not make it worthwhile?

"Everything of which I know, but of which I am not at the moment thinking; everything of which I was once conscious but have now forgotten; every thing perceived by my senses, but not noted by my conscious mind; and everything which, involuntarily and without paying attention to it, I feel, think, remember, want, and do; all the future things that are taking shape in me and will sometime come to consciousness: all this is the content of the unconscious." - On the Nature of the Psyche, The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche, CW 8, par. 382.

What happens when what you see is not what you get?

This video is primarily about betrayal in romantic relationship, but I think that it applies to betrayal in all other relationships too like parent-child, siblings, extended family, professional relationships, friends. It is because the mechanism of brain is similar and the betrayal affects similarly in all human relationships. Romantic relationship is much more intimate than others, that is why the severity of hurt varies depending upon who betrayed you - your spouse or your sibling or your senior at work or a stranger in the street?

Betrayal means to violate the trust; cheating means to deceive, to trick, to fool someone.

I think that these videos will give you something to think about the human relations. This is the chronology of events, what happens when what you see is not what you get=

The present depends on the past.

I thought I knew this person = wrong.

I thought I knew this person so I knew something about relationships = wrong.

I thought I knew about the person and relationship so I knew something about myself = wrong.

I dont know trust.

I am too gullible.

This causes chaos.

Chaos is the descent into the lake beneath the thin ice you were skating on, in the underground, in the unconscious or the sphere of 8th and 12th houses.

In the underground, you do self introspection and trying to make sense of the reality. Turning chaos into order.

After transformation, you rise from the dead, come back from the unconscious, look at the world in a different way.

Your brain makes an alternative map of the world for you to rely on and to infer the patterns.

This is what we call the transformation of the 8th house, shedding the skin and rebirth. Psychological rebirth.

Relationship 7th-8th house nexus observation

*It is strictly what I have seen in people around me. I will call them "person" so as not to reveal who they are. This is vedic/sidereal observation.

7th lord in 8th or 8th lord in 7th house have a connection with transformations triggered by relationship or marriage.

7th lord in 8th house: Wedding happened suddenly in a rush. Families were looking for a potential partner and suddenly the marriage is fixed and done in 2-3 months.

Life of native and spouse changed drastically after marriage. Person 1 went from living a comfortable lifestyle to lower level lifestyle. Person 2 went from lower lifestyle to engaging with upper level wealth family.

Native with 7th in 8th house planet has a up and down full life. Very rollercoaster type. The spouse and native were each other's supporter when there was nobody else. Situation was such that only spouse was there in the most vulnerable period and weakest point.

The spouse is somewhat hidden from the rest of the family of native. As if the family of native dont know the spouse fully. There are aspects to their personality that they hide.

The native marry into family where in laws support them financially. Person 2 was financially motivated by in laws. Person 3 was financially aided by in laws when their own family did not.

It seems that the spouse does not have a cordial relationship with the inlaws. It might be because the 8th house native comes from narcissistic family line so they might be surprised after marriage to see ongoing emotional and psychological abuse in the family although from the outside everything seems normal and decent.

Significant wealth/status/class inequality between native and spouse family.

If inner planets are involved then the transformation is psychological and emotional. Person 4 was triggered to do complete self transformation after break up. By transformation, I mean change of identity and perspective of the world.

8th house native is some kind of mysterious being. Spends a lot of time alone lost in thoughts. Addicted to something. Either alcohol or money. Private personality and very unpredictable. The affairs of their marriage is hidden from the rest of the family so they might be surprised to know of the facts because neither party makes a show of their personal life.

Of course, native and spouse meet in secretive manner. No public arrangement.

Depending on the dignity of the planets and placements the native and spouse can learn significant life lessons through the transformations and challenges of life. Especially on the psychological levels. Psychology = spirituality. It is a very spiritual marriage if the partners are both awakened.

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

Surviving Rock Bottom

🌼 For inner planets in 8th house natives; after crisis - before transformation = the stage of neuroses.

🌼 Before every transformation for 8th house natives, they are trapped by neuroses; they shed their skin after neuroses to reborn - this is almost constant in their life, but also happens at least one major rock bottom stage that they must learn to handle. Whatever may be the trigger, these natives face intense emotional crisis. Their life begins to get out of control - heart break, job loss, divorce etc. They fall into a downward spiral of ruminations, before they are consciously aware of it, they spend hours everyday thinking about the past with painful emotional outbursts. Ruminations are repetitive thoughts revisiting the same events from past. As we all know that 8th house placements are hallmark of intergenerational trauma, this crisis is the call for healing. This stage of life is called neuroses; it was also called hysteria in old days.

🌼 Carl Jung has said "in all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order, in all caprice a fixed law for everything that works is grounded on its opposite". The natives are yet to know the reason behind their suffering. Unfortunately, if they are lonely, it can take years for them in rock bottom, spending each passing day in the insanity. It is not so simple to get out of this obsessive rumination for the natives - otherwise they would do it already. They cannot just "choose to not think these thoughts" - this is what makes the rumination so powerful, this is what feels like fate, a doom, a curse.

🌼 The reason why these natives fall into this spiral is the heightened negative feelings. As we know that the 8th house signifies the territory everything that is hidden and unknown. This uncertainty of who they are (lack of sense of self) and where they are going (life path) compels them to seek certainty in life. 8th house placements are unfortunately not gifted with a "sense of self", they feel like invisible energy, like a jellyfish they feel transparent and attach themselves to people, things, interests, addictions and make it their whole personality. When in relationship, they mirror and depend on their "favourite person" for the validation of their existence. This relationship must break at some point in their life because they are also prone to invest themselves in wrong type of people, ignoring red flags and being irrational rather than logical about life choices.

🌼 Apart from astrological view, in the words of science, they are genetically predisposed to such neuroses states. In addition to this, their parents also create disturbing environmental influences for them to develop chronic emotional illnesses. These disorders are inherited - what we call "ancestral karma". 

🌼 When the child never learned emotional regulation from their parents and also genetically prone to neuroses, they recall the negative material, negative "autobiographical memories" of the past and negative emotional state all the time.  Gradually they fall into depressive states, ruminating about the events of childhood and fixating on negative emotions. If you are an 8th house native, you know exactly what it feels like - no words can describe what is only experienced by the fallen hero.

🌼 Some symptoms of this spiritual crisis are 1. Obsessive rumination 2. Compulsive behaviours as a routine 3. Depression 4. Apathy towards life (Nihilism and hopelessness) 5. Negative intrusive thoughts 5. Phobias 6. Perpetual anxiety state.

🌼 Lots of natives go to therapy and hospital in emergency to protect against suicidal ideation, self harm and self destructive addictions. Indeed in such cases, pills and medicines are necessary to rescue the natives from their crisis. However, Carl Jung writes that this crisis is the harbinger of soul transformation. He writes that anxiety is the attempt by psyche to self cure the trauma. He writes to 1. Experience the trauma rather than numb the symptoms with pills; 2. Identify the meaning of neuroses; 3. Understand what the neuroses is trying to tell/teach you; 4. Identify the purpose of neuroses in your life; 5. To go from infantile attitude to psychological development. 

🌼 Unfortunately, I have seen natives with these placements never being able to cure their neuroses and instead fall into lifelong alcohol addiction problems that spoiled their family life and caused many miseries like road accident and early death. This shows how powerful and strong the anxiety is. If they belong to below middle class sections in society, they can even end up homeless and helpless (though 8th house is also connected with other people's money  so they could be supported by spouse income or parental income).

🌼 There are some reasons why natives fail to get out of neuroses or delay it: 1. Laziness; 2. Lack the courage to face the challenge of life; 3. Lack of awareness or support system; 4. Fear of change. Though this is not a definite list. Never underestimate the power of neuroses; 8th house transformation doesn't always mean "something beautiful is born out of the mess". A lot of natives simply "transform for the worse" - they do not improve, they do not actualize, they just remain there in self destructive cycles. It is that scary. It is survivorship bias to assume that all 8th house planets will become spiritual and awakened - a lot of them do not and we never hear their story. So, if you are one of those who find themselves near self awakening, please grab the opportunity and get your life on track.

🌼 Therefore, it is crucial to understand that this neuroses is the urge to develop your own personality. It is a call to change your attitude towards life, to change your way of life, to not conform to the herd mentality, to focus your energy on living in the world rather than in your head, to attain psychological independence from your parents, to contribute to community as a responsible worker, to find a purpose in life. It is the call to do self actualization and attain self knowledge, although it is dressed like a nightmare with a hidden gift.

🌼 Do not waste anymore of your energy on internal conflicts, reliving the past memories and processing the trauma that happened to you. There is only one choice in life - to move forward or to regress to the immature and infantile mode again. Your are intuitive, you KNOW the answers in your heart. I always read about the "transformations" of 8th house natives but never really found an answer for what exactly transformation means? Is it magic?  Or is it some legitimate process? I finally found the answer.

This video describes the concept:

Here is quotes from the video:

“What direction the patient’s life should take in the future is not ours to judge. We must not imagine that we know better than his own nature, or we would prove ourselves educators of the worst kind…It is better to renounce any attempt to give direction, and simply to try to throw into relief everything that the analysis brings to light, so that the patient can see it clearly and be able to draw suitable conclusions. Anything he has not acquired himself he will not believe in the long run, and what he takes over from authority merely keeps him infantile. He should rather be put in the position to take his own life in hand.” - Carl Jung, Some Crucial Points in Psychoanalysis

“Only boldness can deliver from fear. And if the risk is not taken, the meaning of life is somehow violated, and the whole future is condemned to hopeless staleness.” - Carl Jung, Symbols of Transformation

This transformation can take years and this is the rebirth of the Phoenix. Rising from the ashes into a new life. Starting from scratch. Shedding old skin. Burning bridges. Reborn. So many names.

Self development series: It is almost impossible to know how others perceive you.

For a trauma survivor, social circle can be a tough nut to crack. Whether they are in classroom or with family or on a date or on social media, they are always worrying what others think about them. They would not consciously know but their behaviour shows they are trying to impress others/mould their opinion/desperate for likes dislikes views. What happened in offline world before is now visible on social media clearly. When their self esteem is terribly low, no achievement or external validation is ever enough. They are always unsure of themselves. Even for a non trauma survivor, people's perception is impossible to find out. Some might think that this post and blog are thoughtful or deep, while others might think that I am a complete dumbass and a noise. Even my choice of words, language, tone of writing and your own life stage, experience, perception will affect your judgment - it is that multidimensional how mind works.

While it is important to trust your own perception about the world, it is, at the same time, very hard, or even impossible, to know how others perceive you. You might think in your mind that others look down upon you/think you are boring/think you are ugly/think you are lazy, but do you actually know what they really think of you? A tyrannical parent is someone who controls their children, tells them lies about the world, tells them lies about themselves. "You are not that good", "You could have done better, there is nothing to celebrate", "Yeah, I see you got that degree, you must be too proud now". The parent does not even know they are downright invalidating their child, they just think that they are normal. A low self esteem girl is hungry for male approval. She will put down other women, compete with other women, but live in complete denial of her deep seated insecurity.

I have read through many resources but could not find one legitimate answer for "how to know others' perception of me?" The only answer was "ask them". Well, how would you ask others what they think about you? They might lie. And how many people in the world will you approach? You are barely around 100 people in daily life. You are only left with assumptions about YOURSELF.

Different people have different priority. Scorpios want deep intimate partner so they might think fwb situation is risky and stupid. Gemini want fast intellectual stimulation so they might think that quiet people are boring and uninteresting. Aries are leaderly and dominating so they might think that spiritual ones are lazy and unambitious. How many people will you "prove" yourself to? If your self esteem is low enough, you might as well overcompensate for it by really getting out of your way to flaunt, show off, sneakily post that shiny car in your story.

When we act out of low self esteem, we think that we have actually done something - while we may have just made a fool of ourselves in reality. For example, when I was in school and was the queen of gutter-land-self-esteem, I would be class clown, sarcastic, quick, witty (I am gemini moon). I made others laugh and that gave me massive validation... for 2 minutes. Then I would again wait for the next opportunity to tell jokes and feed on laughter for validation. So on, everyday. Validation seeking at school took so much of my energy that when I came back home I would be exhausted, tired and had mood swings.

If scientists invent a mirror in future that somehow answers "tell me, mirror on the wall, what does xyz think of me?" I think this gadget will break the market. Until then, we just have to live with self development and inner work. Recent example is Andrew Tate. All of us who are self aware would know how insecure this man was. His self improvement talks were just not enough when his complete philosophy was so self destructive. He might appear rich, give confident facial expressions, do podcast by citing biological instincts of men, but we can see how hard he was trying to manipulate other people's opinions about him. This is a case of unevolved person, someone who is unaware and in complete denial.

I can see insecurities in Andrew Tate because I have been there, done that. Same for any other celebrity who appear wise on social front - but are terribly insecure on personal front, when they are alone by themselves.

This underatanding will set you free and give you more time and energy to focus on your inner life. You might as well break the intergenerational cycle. Knowing the limitations of your brain will set you free. I believe that active imagination might help one to see how their character appears to others. You are, after all, collective unconscious, but that would require years of inner work.