Safety First: Protection Against Manipulators.

Safety first: protection against manipulators.

Inner planets in 8th house/12th house/generational planets (Jupiter, Saturn in 8th house)

Sunday evening. You sit along with your friends and family for a nice relaxing hangout. Tea, snacks, gifts, laughter, full of energy. People sharing their stories and experiences. All well, few hours later, party over. You are still in the warmth of energy, joyed by the event, feeling good to be alive. Then.. something clicks. You are confused. This couple said things that dont sit right with you. What is it? You know in your head that this person was lying, the manipulation was so subtle that you only see it now, they were grooming the crowd to give them what they want. Welcome to the dark side of human psychology.

Intentional or unintentional, it does not matter, but you were manipulated and that is real. Some people go through life carefree and unbothered. Others know a little more. Every conversation we have with others is either an influence or a manipulation. Parent influences child. Teacher infleunces student. Spouse influences partner. Customer influences seller. Every person influences others, but when this influence is loaded with malicious, selfish and one sided exploitation, then you know you are being manipulated. When you give more than you get, are being misled and misinformed and being used as a social toy then you know you are being manipulated. Most disturbing manipulation happens from those who are closest to us, that is family, siblings and partner etc. When someone lies to you, they paint a picture in your head that does not exist. The lies distort your perception and affect your decisions, presuppositions about the world and opinions.

Why do some people never identify liars and manipulators? Because these people know what they want from others, are dominating Alpha type, extremely charming and love bombing, speak over others and assert their opinions on others. All of us have emotional needs and vulnerability, most necessary is the need for social acceptance and participation. We crave to belong to someone and some group. A lot of people never identify liars and manipulators because they are not so emotionally sensitive and enlightened. As unfortunate as it is, the world is after all not a bubble of well meaning and fair deal people.

Once you identify manipulative people, you also understand how futile it is to confront them. These people live in a different reality. They go to any lengths to manipulate people's perceptions because it benefits them. They are crazy making tricksters. Can you ever be "friends" with a trickster? No, in the end you lose more than you gain. Here is something you can learn from:

Here is quotes from the video: "The victims of people such as con men and snake oil salesmen, are those who are unconscious of trickster – they have been tricked by their own naivety, greed or self-deception. We have to be a little tricky, to guard against being tricked."

"We can deceive others or be deceived, but we can never deceive ourselves. Trickster forces us to look at ourselves in the mirror, and to the persona that we are putting on to impress others, to the detriment of our instinctual needs, our creativity and playfulness that is so vital to give us the energy that we need in our daily life."

Once you understand that the manipulators outside are a mirror to your internal trickster, it is time to change your beliefs about yourself and transform a little. This is why the 8th housers, scorpion, 12th housers are the ones to identify manipulation because their natural ability is to transform. Someone who has inner planets in 1st/2nd/3rd houses in air/fire signs simply would not have the ability to transform - but they can be a trickster if they are unevolved. Sadly, a lot of air/fire people stay unevolved because their natural ability is not to do self reflection. Water house/sign natives can learn from these natives, because it is said that the people who hurt you the most are your spiritual teachers.

“The so-called civilised man has forgotten the trickster. He remembers him only figuratively and metaphorically, when, irritated by his own ineptitude, he speaks of fate playing tricks on him or of things being bewitched. He never suspects that his own hidden and apparently harmless shadow has qualities whose dangerousness exceeds his wildest dreams.” - Carl Jung, C.W. Vol. 9.1: On The Psychology of the Trickster Figure.

In the so called transformation of 8th housers and scorpion lies the enlightenment and coming to the consciousness. It is to shed the ignorance of unconscious and primitive way of life. It is to dissolve your previously held ego and step into a new way of life. It is to get in touch with your spirits and the soul that is you. To change your habits and interests. One example, to stop listening to music and songs rather meditate, watch your impulse and emotions, create music rather than consume. This is a new way of life. One that will both change your interpersonal relations and your own inner life.

Intention matters

Have you ever met one of those people who pretend to be someone they are not inside? You might be surprised that so many people around us are actually actors. Intention means goal or purpose behind an action. For eg, someone dating a girl because he says "he loves her" but actually his intention is to use her for her money or use her for her beauty or to keep her for emotional work&security. Language is a powerful tool to connect with each other. We have a default tendency to trust someone with their words. If someone says "I am a doctor" you would trust they are because they said so. You might ask for their degree and cretificate for proof. This is a big example. Lets take a small example. If someone says to you "I care for you so much. You are my best friend". This is an abstract claim. What proof will you ask? Nothing. Only time will show if they actually meant what they said or else.

Apart from spiritual world, we also need material world for survival. Money, job, power, status are actually really important in life. You can pay for treatment of your loved ones. Education of your dear ones. Give them a comfortable lifestyle. Give money to social work and charity. Money is important in life. And it is obvious that not everyone will have an honest intention to make money in honest ways. Corruption is rampant.

In my observation, it is air signs that are most prone to saying something but intending something else. You might have to take their words with caution because lying comes easily to them. Air signs can mature of course. Remember, maturity does not come with age but self work. Maturity is hard work. It is not just aging.

The next question is whether their intention is malicious? Apart from psychopaths and sociopaths, others do care a bit about how others perceive them. I have read that psychopaths dont feel any guilt or shame. So these are the people who can lie and manipulate with evil intention.

On the other hand, most of the people think they are doing what is "right" to them. They will justify explain defend react how they acted righteously.

So, be very vigilant if you can when dealing with people. Life is hard and people can attempt deceptive ways to make their intentions meet the end.

Death of the fool

The evergreen fool. The believer of faith in goodness and light. Naive and gullible. He is the sparrow in his nest, singing a good melody, ignorant of the hungry predators hawking upon him. He is friends with the sun, the clouds, the tree and the leaves. Protected, inexperienced and untouched, the sparrow sings morning and evening. Clueless, impulsive and reckless. Childish, child like and the infantile. The fool is on a journey to sacred lands. Good intentions in heart, fueled by feelings, lacking life experiences and projecting his goodness on others, the fool is a tasty treat for dinner.

Do not mistake the fool for the poor fellow. His innocence is disgusting. He dwells in the unconscious and fears his own reality. Who even risks their life to make some new friends? The sparrow jumps off the nest, thinking it can fly, travel the skies and perhaps make some friends with the big gruesome creatures up there in the playground.

Acts before thinking, reckless, impulsive, rash, gullible. Fool is everything he should not be. Learn a thing or two about the world you are born in. Know a thing or two about the life force that ignites you. But the fool does not care. He is on an adventure, enthusiastic and intense. Excited to materialize his fantasies, the sparrow greets the horrific eagles. "They are just like me, see, they can fly and so do I, we are just the same!" Off the cliff, it happened. He is gone. Oh-he is gone. Where is he? Oh-find him, where is he? In the eagle's feast, singing a melody in his mind, the sparrow recalls his nest. Bring him back to the nest, the safety of his mind. One last melody, one more time.

The journey of fool never ends well. Maturity and self awareness are important to adulthood. Remember this, fellow fools.

Rising like the phoenix

🌸 Especially for 8th housers.

🌸 So far we know that 8th housers are traumatizing placements. We know that they meet bad people in life. We know that they face unpredictable life events. We know that they are prone to neurosis. We know that they build themselves up from the ashes. Especially after rock bottom. They yearn for the person they were before. The naive emotional and carefree person. The person who never thought twice before taking a decision. The person who was so careless with their heart and emotions. The innocent. The child. Too gullible. Too trusting. They yearn to be that person again because it just felt so good in past, before they were aware of masks, hidden colours of people and ulterior motives.

🌸 What I want to talk about is CODEPENDENCY. If you are in a mental state to understand this, the reason why bad people came into your life was because you were a codependent. A bad one at that. All of us are influenced by the energy of the people we surround ourselves with. Energy and emotions are infectious and contagious. Given the 8th house placements their emotions are already extreme and when something good happens (a new friendship or relationship or even going to grocery) they are really very pretty seriously happy. They are happy in their bones and soul and cells and every atom in their body. That is just who they are. So when the betrayal and shock happens, it hits them hard like every atom in their body is collapsing. This is why they are transformed deeply after every betrayal.

🌸 But what does one have to do after rock bottom? You are in neurosis. You know you have to change your attitude towards life. You have to change your habits. You have to change your emotional reaction. It takes time, I know, it can take years. It is not easy to heal for 8th housers. But you should know what you are doing. You are healing your codependency issues. The person you yearn for was a codependent person. For every narcissistic sociopath there is a codependent. As simple as that. You were codependent because you lacked self worth. your self esteem depended on the words, opinions and judgments of other people. Your mood depended on the mood of other people. You let others take decisions for yourself. I am not victim blaming but it is to understand who you were before. Life has given you an opportunity to fix your codependency issues. You dont want to become a codependent again. Do you?

🌸 An infantile and immature childish codependent person you were living in a womblike state chasing a paradise. 8th house/scorpio/pluto are very bold teachers. But rest assured they will bring to your consciousness your own hidden flaws. In a toxic family line there are abusers and abused - both are magnets to each other - for every narcissist there is a codependent. You might think "I am not codependent, hell naw" but you are. Just dont be in denial. This is the silver lining in your neurosis.

🌸 Healing from codependency is not sunshine and roses. It is not aesthetics. It is not fruits and flowers. It is simple learning and practice. Learning from your mistakes. Learn from youtube, internet articles, books, write, journal, record yourself speaking in voice notes, make videos of yourself, it is about learning skills. Social media makes it look like healing is pretty and beautiful mess. But it is not like that. It is taking 3 steps but slipping 2 back. It is relapsing to old patterns. It is sudden insights and intuition. It is running in circles and ruminating. It is exhausting and tiring and frustrating. You just want it to be over so that you can start living your life like a normal person.

🌸 You are now a wounded healer. A wounded physician. A doctor without a degree - doctor of souls. You feel an urge to help others. Heal others. Like Chiron who could not heal himself but healed other people. Only a wounded soul can heal another soul. It is an experiment. Dont confuse that you be a saviour complex and put yourself in trauma again. But it is to make authentic connection with another soul and do your project together. Perhaps it is now your destiny to merge with other because your poison is your medicine too. This is why all 8th housers are pulled to occult, shaman, astrology, psychology because they want to heal others. It is their task. Their presence is now calming. They are a wise person. If you are 8th houser and you healed some major trauma you know that the only way out is to accept your wounds. To accept your flaws which in this case is codependency issues. It will make you feel powerful over yourself. You wont feel helpless powerless and hopeless. You have to diagnose your spiritual illness that is codependency. Simultaneously, you live a private life. Away from social media and make believe. It is a typical pattern. Just know you are not alone.

Falling in love as a water dominant native

Inner planets (moon/sun/venus/mercury/mars) in a water house or water sign - love is different to you. You want to be with someone with whom you can be yourself and just yourself. Truly yourself. With all your feelings and vulnerabilities laid on the table, you are that safe and secure with your lover.

Water house or water sign placements make the native sensitive. Sensitive is to feel the feelings to their extreme. It is like holding a bubble in your palm, worried someone might pinch it, alert someone might blow it. You do not open yourself up to someone unless you trust their character.

Loyalty and honesty means a lot to you. You want someone as transparent as the water. You want to see through them. While other people look with their eyes, you look with your soul. Your eyes are turned inwards and constantly see the ups and downs of your emotions. Being sensitive and emotional, you are drawn to spirituality and choose your own path in life. You strive for a purpose in life. You want to know why you were born here on earth. You need a sense of mission and direction. You are a giver in love, the more you share your love, the more love there is in the world. You strive for higher principles, morals, meaning and values. You are the ones to turn the pages of philosophy books because the exterior life just does not suit your taste.

You fall in love with your soul. You meet someone and they are just the right person. Your intuition (water) tells you, this is it, you cannot reason why or how this person becomes the most prioritized person in your life. You are naturally obsessive. You are thinking of all the things you want to tell them, share with them, listen to them. Their mind, emotions and soul are your adventure place. You want to explore the depths of their mind. You want to merge your soul and identity with this person in your life.

Love is not just a word to you, it is life itself. Men with water dominant energy appear so ordinary from the outside, but oh-the right person will see the glaciers and ocean behind that mask. This ocean contains the secrets of the world. You want to self actualize with your lover. Someone who assists you in this journey. It is not just a material love to you, it is rather spiritual. You value their soul, their spirit, their essence. Love is a sacrifice to you, a noble cause, a martyr.

Perhaps, love is the language of water dominant natives. It is their religion and their philosophy. You will realize that this love trascends personality and unites with God, the eternal and the source. Nobody loves like a water dominant native, especially an evolved and mature one. They make life heaven, understand your emotional needs with their intuition, love you just the right way, be the best version of themselves, do everything to make your life better. Perhaps, nobody talks about water natives' love because very few experience it and those who experience the mature water love are too busy in self actualizing and transformation. They are too detached from self promotion and fakery.

Self development series: trust your perception. No matter what.

For inner planets in 7th, 8th, 12th house, water signs placements, water risings.

Those of us who have not been on the good side of fate keep thinking what is wrong with us. The "other people" appear to be socializing, relaxed and living it out. But you stare from a distance, comparing your life to them, wondering why you are surrounded by malicious people and most importantly, how to change your pattern?

You must trust your perception. Cognitive Dissonance is when contradictory perceptions, beliefs, actions, feelings, ideas, values and things are told to you by somebody else. You are unable to trust your own perception. You are confused about your reality. For example, a man who cheats on his partner but says that he loves her still. Again cheats but says he is wired like that, men are men, he is polyamorous, it is his biological instinct, in past kings used to keep 100 wives. Of course, you are confused. Or someone who does something problematic but says "you are jealous of me, you are insecure, I dont care what you say, I am not wrong at all - you are wrong". This causes mental confusion to you. The other person is straight up lying, making it up, manipulating, but to you it is confusion.

People are not "oh so complicated" like that. People are actually easy to understand if you observe the patterns. The same patterns repeat all their lives. They can pretend to be somebody else for a day or two but the facade ultimately falls. Trust your judgment. We cannot guarantee to make the best decisions all the time but learning to trust your judgment will make you assertive, confident and secure in yourself.

It is especially for those who are trauma survivors, they are vulnerable and impressionable. Abusive people abuse then confuse. They might justify or rationalize their behaviour because religion/science/mythology/history says so, they will devalue you one minute then claim to love you the next minute - say it is for your benefit/it is your fault/they did not mean it. Do not be fooled by the words, trust the patterns.

We are humans, of course we will connect with language and words. Whatever language you speak, you connect with others. I am writing in English, you know English, you understand what I write, it aligns with your judgment so you trust what I say. I have to hold this trust by not lying, misleading, manipulating otherwise I will become an abuser.

It will help to read on sociopath v/s narcissist on internet. Do not underestimate the number of toxic people around you. Of course we cannot diagnose mental illness in others but we can identify their symptoms and draw our boundaries. Not all narcissists are sociopath, but all sociopaths are narcissists. Trust the patterns. Not all narcissists are alpha overt type, not all narcissists will financially exploit others. You decide where you draw the boundary. Especially if you are guilty of emotional investment and intense reactions before and want to change the scene in your life.

So, the next time you see someone flattering or love bombing you and you know their pattern beforehand, trust that they are not sincere this time as well.

Why do people become abusers? Destiny, perhaps. Do abusers know they are abusive? It depends. Some of them do not know they are emotionally abusive, some know but still do it. Patterns are hard to identify and change for the abuser. They are so intertwined in their reality that they dont even know what they are doing. You can see a narcissist doing their "dance" from a distance but he/she will not know it. It takes immense will power to change your patterns in your 20s, 30, 40s. Then it is even harder beyond that. What is a spiritual event that can change an abuser? Anything that forces them to enter intense emotional distress. Rock bottom, social outcast, divorce, ultimate failure in life etc. This is why you see some toxic people are genuinely transformed, they go to rehab or therapy or do inner work on their own. There is no genuine transformation without emotional turmoil. Those who feel deeply also transform.

For those who do not change? Forgive them. Distance yourself. Know that if they knew what they were doing, if they genuinely had the insight, they would be blown by shock and remorse. Leave them in their reality. There are plenty of decent people living their lives, looking for friends like you.