The Girl Of Her Dreams.

The girl of her dreams.

🌼 For sun in 1st/7th/8th/12th; venus in 8th/12th; venus in scorpio, sun in pisces, sun in libra (my astro observation).

🌼 Naturally, we assume that it is men who dream of their dream girl, who they like and who they want to be with. It is strange to think that girls too dream of girls - albeit not the girl they want to date but the girl they want to "be". Have you ever sat in a social setting, checking out the faces of everyone and laughing loud/do something quirky to get a reaction out of people? In your mental world, they adore you, praise you, are captivated, bewitched and admire you. Aren't you just so perfect?

🌼 Sit with yourself for an hour and see through your fantasies. The random images, memories, movie scene, music lyrics, conversation - what is it that pops up in your mind? I did this and saw a fantasy of Barack Obama dancing to Cheap Thrills. Well, I know the meaning behind the symbolism because I know myself. This is a symbol of a powerful, important, competent man dancing to a quirky, playful and youthful song - it is the merger of the two fantasies I have, on one hand desiring to be grandiose and on the other hand craving to be carefree and silly.

🌼 I am talking of the PUELLA AETERNUS. The spontaneous, autonomous, dissociative and fanatical archetype of a young girl who is outwardly a mess but inwardly a princess. The eternal child. The eternal youth. Unrealistic adolscent fantasies. Often manifested in motion pictures like movies and TV - so it creates a social pressure to conform to the idea of a woman who is very desirable to the masses. On a personal level, the girl herself lives in the fantasy world of how life is supposed to be, how people should comfort her, react to her and care for her. The paradise of childhood. The birdy in the nest. Flees from the cold cruel world and its realities. Daydreams and reacts to passive fantasies. Fatasies of future, what would be, could be, should be, without taking any actions. She has an imaginary attitude towards life, escaping to temporary comfort and running as far as possible from the reality.

🌼 Her problem is that she is missing a sense of identity, she feels fragmented and worthless. It is too much for her to cross the borders from fantasy to real world. In the modern world, she is expected to get education and do job, but all she wants to do is to be on social media all day. If you know someone like this, she is a puella - a little girl in an adult body with a father complex. Her playful and carefree facade hides deep insecurities. She idealizes the other people and craves their admiration. When the sun is weak in birth chart, it shows a father who was emotionally unavailable, distant and not there - resulting in low self esteem, stunted psychological growth and childish fantasies in the girl. A lot of women are like that, a lot of fathers were not available and active in their daughter's life, a lot of women stay puella even after marriage and children through their 40s 50s 60s. The forever 21.

🌼 If you can see yourself in this archetype, I have a bad news and a good news. A bad news is that you have essentially drifted your whole life in a fantasy. A good news is you can quit today. There is no "closure" or "the end" to your past story. The day you decide to quit is the day you commit to it. That ultimately is the only solution for this trouble. Work. Any work. Chores. Responsibilities. Immerse yourself in something. Study paint write work exercise. Just work. Test yourself. Challenge yourself. Every time your mind drifts to a fantasy, bring it back to reality. Remember that the social media even tumblr is a world of make believe. How many of us are puella but in denial? Throw yourself into the fire of life and let it rebirth you. Break down the ideal imagery in your mind and accept your humanness.

🌼 The shadow of this archetype is the Crone wise "old" woman. She is balanced, disciplined, hard working, realistic, conscientious, controlled and mature. Committed to work and immersed in whatever is her calling in life. She has sacrificed the wonder of fantasy realm. She immerses herself in the external world to find her individuality and to learn skills for life. There is no magical way. Just the practice, learning, practice, learning, practice. You can cultivate these qualities in yourself. Think it is too easy? Why not try. Habits are hard to break, sometimes very hard. Sylvia Plath was one puella who desired reconstruction of her life but took her own life when the conflicts were too much to bear.

🌼 I am reminded of the tarot card two of wands in this context

The globe in his hand is the projection of the inner fantasy world while he gazes out over the bay at the real world, the realities of life, the potential in him, the challenges he must face, the risks he must take. He has to choose a decision, to leave comfort zone, and compare the two worlds side by side. On one hand is the inner fantasy world that he holds in his palm that he escapes to for temporary comfort while on the other hand is the external reality, hardships and worldly successes. You cannot live in your inner world forever. Commit today and henceforth the fantasy world is meaningless to you. I read this somewhere: *"Sometimes people have to injure themselves very badly in order to awaken to what life really is"* - that is sometimes the only solution to life problems. The anxiety and fear never end, you just work through it and claim your life in your hands.

🌼 "If you want to go your individual way, it is the way you make for yourself, which is never prescribed, which you do not know in advance, and which simply comes into being of itself when you put one foot in front of the other. If you always do the next thing that needs to be done, you will go most safely and sure-footedly along the path prescribed by your unconscious. Then it is naturally no help at all to speculate about how you ought to live. And then you know, too, that you cannot know it, but quietly do the next and most necessary thing. So long as you think you don’t yet know what this is, you still have too much money to spend in useless speculation. But if you do with conviction the next and most necessary thing, you are always doing something meaningful and intended by fate." - Carl Jung.

Intention matters

Have you ever met one of those people who pretend to be someone they are not inside? You might be surprised that so many people around us are actually actors. Intention means goal or purpose behind an action. For eg, someone dating a girl because he says "he loves her" but actually his intention is to use her for her money or use her for her beauty or to keep her for emotional work&security. Language is a powerful tool to connect with each other. We have a default tendency to trust someone with their words. If someone says "I am a doctor" you would trust they are because they said so. You might ask for their degree and cretificate for proof. This is a big example. Lets take a small example. If someone says to you "I care for you so much. You are my best friend". This is an abstract claim. What proof will you ask? Nothing. Only time will show if they actually meant what they said or else.

Apart from spiritual world, we also need material world for survival. Money, job, power, status are actually really important in life. You can pay for treatment of your loved ones. Education of your dear ones. Give them a comfortable lifestyle. Give money to social work and charity. Money is important in life. And it is obvious that not everyone will have an honest intention to make money in honest ways. Corruption is rampant.

In my observation, it is air signs that are most prone to saying something but intending something else. You might have to take their words with caution because lying comes easily to them. Air signs can mature of course. Remember, maturity does not come with age but self work. Maturity is hard work. It is not just aging.

The next question is whether their intention is malicious? Apart from psychopaths and sociopaths, others do care a bit about how others perceive them. I have read that psychopaths dont feel any guilt or shame. So these are the people who can lie and manipulate with evil intention.

On the other hand, most of the people think they are doing what is "right" to them. They will justify explain defend react how they acted righteously.

So, be very vigilant if you can when dealing with people. Life is hard and people can attempt deceptive ways to make their intentions meet the end.

Self development series: learning to handle life.

For 8th housers, scorpio placements - stretch to cancer, pisces placements and risings.

*knocks* Hello, astro world, it's me.. look at my birth chart please and tell me what's wrong with me? Why is my life a mess..? Why do I attract such narcissistic, controlling, manipulative people in my life? Why do i feel like I dont exist and am constantly transforming..? I have a weird relationship with my family.. I have so much trauma... I just want answers...

Just a regular day in the life of natives with vulnerable placements. Until they heal their trauma (which can take years), they would not know how to handle their life. How to not fuck up their relationships, mood, reactions, career, body, mind. The hidden gift of these natives is to be in touch with their insticts and emotional life. They do not just exist but are in tune with their emotional states. When unevolved, they act on their impulses, feelings, imagination, thoughts mindlessly.

When evolved, they have a conscious control over their impulses, feelings, imagination and fantasies. This is a gradual process, not overnight, and one filled with many trials, challenges and fallings. Contrary to the stereotypes, these natives are not doomed to be crybabies/crazy all their lives. They certainly can handle their life, depending upon the whole chart, timing of planets and the luck.

The trick is to know when to be rational and when to let loose. The trick is to change your lifestyle in such a way as accommodates things you can control. For eg, do not buy tubs of ice cream if you know you binge eat in maniac state. The trick is to live in the flow, be in the flow of life, mindfulness comes naturally to you when you are not giving in to every self destructive impulse. The trick is to set values for yourself. For eg, do not do casual hookup if you know you will get attached and obsessive. The trick is to hold yourself to higher standards of behaviour. The trick is to find fellow similar/compatible placement natives who will make your life a little easier. The trick is to become aware of your own inner narcissist and stop feeding him/her what they crave, instead choose the opposite action.

There is a thin line between chaos and order, that these natives know very well of. Sometimes they feel like they do not belong to this world, they are misfits, as if they want to go back to home. As if they daily life is very harsh and tiresome to them. Beware not to fall into the grips of substance abuse and/or criminal gangs. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your life. You have to live anyway, so why not make it worthwhile?

"Everything of which I know, but of which I am not at the moment thinking; everything of which I was once conscious but have now forgotten; every thing perceived by my senses, but not noted by my conscious mind; and everything which, involuntarily and without paying attention to it, I feel, think, remember, want, and do; all the future things that are taking shape in me and will sometime come to consciousness: all this is the content of the unconscious." - On the Nature of the Psyche, The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche, CW 8, par. 382.

Falling in love as a water dominant native

Inner planets (moon/sun/venus/mercury/mars) in a water house or water sign - love is different to you. You want to be with someone with whom you can be yourself and just yourself. Truly yourself. With all your feelings and vulnerabilities laid on the table, you are that safe and secure with your lover.

Water house or water sign placements make the native sensitive. Sensitive is to feel the feelings to their extreme. It is like holding a bubble in your palm, worried someone might pinch it, alert someone might blow it. You do not open yourself up to someone unless you trust their character.

Loyalty and honesty means a lot to you. You want someone as transparent as the water. You want to see through them. While other people look with their eyes, you look with your soul. Your eyes are turned inwards and constantly see the ups and downs of your emotions. Being sensitive and emotional, you are drawn to spirituality and choose your own path in life. You strive for a purpose in life. You want to know why you were born here on earth. You need a sense of mission and direction. You are a giver in love, the more you share your love, the more love there is in the world. You strive for higher principles, morals, meaning and values. You are the ones to turn the pages of philosophy books because the exterior life just does not suit your taste.

You fall in love with your soul. You meet someone and they are just the right person. Your intuition (water) tells you, this is it, you cannot reason why or how this person becomes the most prioritized person in your life. You are naturally obsessive. You are thinking of all the things you want to tell them, share with them, listen to them. Their mind, emotions and soul are your adventure place. You want to explore the depths of their mind. You want to merge your soul and identity with this person in your life.

Love is not just a word to you, it is life itself. Men with water dominant energy appear so ordinary from the outside, but oh-the right person will see the glaciers and ocean behind that mask. This ocean contains the secrets of the world. You want to self actualize with your lover. Someone who assists you in this journey. It is not just a material love to you, it is rather spiritual. You value their soul, their spirit, their essence. Love is a sacrifice to you, a noble cause, a martyr.

Perhaps, love is the language of water dominant natives. It is their religion and their philosophy. You will realize that this love trascends personality and unites with God, the eternal and the source. Nobody loves like a water dominant native, especially an evolved and mature one. They make life heaven, understand your emotional needs with their intuition, love you just the right way, be the best version of themselves, do everything to make your life better. Perhaps, nobody talks about water natives' love because very few experience it and those who experience the mature water love are too busy in self actualizing and transformation. They are too detached from self promotion and fakery.

Scorpio rising/sun/moon: "I am my own worst enemy"

It appears to me that scorpions dont just love/hate to the extreme but also feel every other impulse to the extreme. Whether it is power issues, anger issues, superiority/inferiority complex or else. They feel everything to 100% and beyond.

Similar to this, mars ruled Aries is the hallmark of feeling position. The difference lies in aries pursuing worldly goals while scorpio pursuing spiritual goals. This is my theory from what I have seen these placements playing out.

Clearly, this is very self destructive way to live life. I have seen scorpion taking things to heart and hold grudge for long times. I suggest doing self development and some physical output to release that energy like gym and sports. Also, journal your moods and see when the emotion spikes, which emotion spikes the most, see your pattern, know yourself better. The more you know yourself, the lesser self sabotage you will do.

🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵

Death of the fool

The evergreen fool. The believer of faith in goodness and light. Naive and gullible. He is the sparrow in his nest, singing a good melody, ignorant of the hungry predators hawking upon him. He is friends with the sun, the clouds, the tree and the leaves. Protected, inexperienced and untouched, the sparrow sings morning and evening. Clueless, impulsive and reckless. Childish, child like and the infantile. The fool is on a journey to sacred lands. Good intentions in heart, fueled by feelings, lacking life experiences and projecting his goodness on others, the fool is a tasty treat for dinner.

Do not mistake the fool for the poor fellow. His innocence is disgusting. He dwells in the unconscious and fears his own reality. Who even risks their life to make some new friends? The sparrow jumps off the nest, thinking it can fly, travel the skies and perhaps make some friends with the big gruesome creatures up there in the playground.

Acts before thinking, reckless, impulsive, rash, gullible. Fool is everything he should not be. Learn a thing or two about the world you are born in. Know a thing or two about the life force that ignites you. But the fool does not care. He is on an adventure, enthusiastic and intense. Excited to materialize his fantasies, the sparrow greets the horrific eagles. "They are just like me, see, they can fly and so do I, we are just the same!" Off the cliff, it happened. He is gone. Oh-he is gone. Where is he? Oh-find him, where is he? In the eagle's feast, singing a melody in his mind, the sparrow recalls his nest. Bring him back to the nest, the safety of his mind. One last melody, one more time.

The journey of fool never ends well. Maturity and self awareness are important to adulthood. Remember this, fellow fools.