Scorpio Rising/sun/moon: "I Am My Own Worst Enemy"

Scorpio rising/sun/moon: "I am my own worst enemy"

It appears to me that scorpions dont just love/hate to the extreme but also feel every other impulse to the extreme. Whether it is power issues, anger issues, superiority/inferiority complex or else. They feel everything to 100% and beyond.

Similar to this, mars ruled Aries is the hallmark of feeling position. The difference lies in aries pursuing worldly goals while scorpio pursuing spiritual goals. This is my theory from what I have seen these placements playing out.

Clearly, this is very self destructive way to live life. I have seen scorpion taking things to heart and hold grudge for long times. I suggest doing self development and some physical output to release that energy like gym and sports. Also, journal your moods and see when the emotion spikes, which emotion spikes the most, see your pattern, know yourself better. The more you know yourself, the lesser self sabotage you will do.

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Safety first: protection against manipulators.

Inner planets in 8th house/12th house/generational planets (Jupiter, Saturn in 8th house)

Sunday evening. You sit along with your friends and family for a nice relaxing hangout. Tea, snacks, gifts, laughter, full of energy. People sharing their stories and experiences. All well, few hours later, party over. You are still in the warmth of energy, joyed by the event, feeling good to be alive. Then.. something clicks. You are confused. This couple said things that dont sit right with you. What is it? You know in your head that this person was lying, the manipulation was so subtle that you only see it now, they were grooming the crowd to give them what they want. Welcome to the dark side of human psychology.

Intentional or unintentional, it does not matter, but you were manipulated and that is real. Some people go through life carefree and unbothered. Others know a little more. Every conversation we have with others is either an influence or a manipulation. Parent influences child. Teacher infleunces student. Spouse influences partner. Customer influences seller. Every person influences others, but when this influence is loaded with malicious, selfish and one sided exploitation, then you know you are being manipulated. When you give more than you get, are being misled and misinformed and being used as a social toy then you know you are being manipulated. Most disturbing manipulation happens from those who are closest to us, that is family, siblings and partner etc. When someone lies to you, they paint a picture in your head that does not exist. The lies distort your perception and affect your decisions, presuppositions about the world and opinions.

Why do some people never identify liars and manipulators? Because these people know what they want from others, are dominating Alpha type, extremely charming and love bombing, speak over others and assert their opinions on others. All of us have emotional needs and vulnerability, most necessary is the need for social acceptance and participation. We crave to belong to someone and some group. A lot of people never identify liars and manipulators because they are not so emotionally sensitive and enlightened. As unfortunate as it is, the world is after all not a bubble of well meaning and fair deal people.

Once you identify manipulative people, you also understand how futile it is to confront them. These people live in a different reality. They go to any lengths to manipulate people's perceptions because it benefits them. They are crazy making tricksters. Can you ever be "friends" with a trickster? No, in the end you lose more than you gain. Here is something you can learn from:

Here is quotes from the video: "The victims of people such as con men and snake oil salesmen, are those who are unconscious of trickster – they have been tricked by their own naivety, greed or self-deception. We have to be a little tricky, to guard against being tricked."

"We can deceive others or be deceived, but we can never deceive ourselves. Trickster forces us to look at ourselves in the mirror, and to the persona that we are putting on to impress others, to the detriment of our instinctual needs, our creativity and playfulness that is so vital to give us the energy that we need in our daily life."

Once you understand that the manipulators outside are a mirror to your internal trickster, it is time to change your beliefs about yourself and transform a little. This is why the 8th housers, scorpion, 12th housers are the ones to identify manipulation because their natural ability is to transform. Someone who has inner planets in 1st/2nd/3rd houses in air/fire signs simply would not have the ability to transform - but they can be a trickster if they are unevolved. Sadly, a lot of air/fire people stay unevolved because their natural ability is not to do self reflection. Water house/sign natives can learn from these natives, because it is said that the people who hurt you the most are your spiritual teachers.

“The so-called civilised man has forgotten the trickster. He remembers him only figuratively and metaphorically, when, irritated by his own ineptitude, he speaks of fate playing tricks on him or of things being bewitched. He never suspects that his own hidden and apparently harmless shadow has qualities whose dangerousness exceeds his wildest dreams.” - Carl Jung, C.W. Vol. 9.1: On The Psychology of the Trickster Figure.

In the so called transformation of 8th housers and scorpion lies the enlightenment and coming to the consciousness. It is to shed the ignorance of unconscious and primitive way of life. It is to dissolve your previously held ego and step into a new way of life. It is to get in touch with your spirits and the soul that is you. To change your habits and interests. One example, to stop listening to music and songs rather meditate, watch your impulse and emotions, create music rather than consume. This is a new way of life. One that will both change your interpersonal relations and your own inner life.

Self development series: It is almost impossible to know how others perceive you.

For a trauma survivor, social circle can be a tough nut to crack. Whether they are in classroom or with family or on a date or on social media, they are always worrying what others think about them. They would not consciously know but their behaviour shows they are trying to impress others/mould their opinion/desperate for likes dislikes views. What happened in offline world before is now visible on social media clearly. When their self esteem is terribly low, no achievement or external validation is ever enough. They are always unsure of themselves. Even for a non trauma survivor, people's perception is impossible to find out. Some might think that this post and blog are thoughtful or deep, while others might think that I am a complete dumbass and a noise. Even my choice of words, language, tone of writing and your own life stage, experience, perception will affect your judgment - it is that multidimensional how mind works.

While it is important to trust your own perception about the world, it is, at the same time, very hard, or even impossible, to know how others perceive you. You might think in your mind that others look down upon you/think you are boring/think you are ugly/think you are lazy, but do you actually know what they really think of you? A tyrannical parent is someone who controls their children, tells them lies about the world, tells them lies about themselves. "You are not that good", "You could have done better, there is nothing to celebrate", "Yeah, I see you got that degree, you must be too proud now". The parent does not even know they are downright invalidating their child, they just think that they are normal. A low self esteem girl is hungry for male approval. She will put down other women, compete with other women, but live in complete denial of her deep seated insecurity.

I have read through many resources but could not find one legitimate answer for "how to know others' perception of me?" The only answer was "ask them". Well, how would you ask others what they think about you? They might lie. And how many people in the world will you approach? You are barely around 100 people in daily life. You are only left with assumptions about YOURSELF.

Different people have different priority. Scorpios want deep intimate partner so they might think fwb situation is risky and stupid. Gemini want fast intellectual stimulation so they might think that quiet people are boring and uninteresting. Aries are leaderly and dominating so they might think that spiritual ones are lazy and unambitious. How many people will you "prove" yourself to? If your self esteem is low enough, you might as well overcompensate for it by really getting out of your way to flaunt, show off, sneakily post that shiny car in your story.

When we act out of low self esteem, we think that we have actually done something - while we may have just made a fool of ourselves in reality. For example, when I was in school and was the queen of gutter-land-self-esteem, I would be class clown, sarcastic, quick, witty (I am gemini moon). I made others laugh and that gave me massive validation... for 2 minutes. Then I would again wait for the next opportunity to tell jokes and feed on laughter for validation. So on, everyday. Validation seeking at school took so much of my energy that when I came back home I would be exhausted, tired and had mood swings.

If scientists invent a mirror in future that somehow answers "tell me, mirror on the wall, what does xyz think of me?" I think this gadget will break the market. Until then, we just have to live with self development and inner work. Recent example is Andrew Tate. All of us who are self aware would know how insecure this man was. His self improvement talks were just not enough when his complete philosophy was so self destructive. He might appear rich, give confident facial expressions, do podcast by citing biological instincts of men, but we can see how hard he was trying to manipulate other people's opinions about him. This is a case of unevolved person, someone who is unaware and in complete denial.

I can see insecurities in Andrew Tate because I have been there, done that. Same for any other celebrity who appear wise on social front - but are terribly insecure on personal front, when they are alone by themselves.

This underatanding will set you free and give you more time and energy to focus on your inner life. You might as well break the intergenerational cycle. Knowing the limitations of your brain will set you free. I believe that active imagination might help one to see how their character appears to others. You are, after all, collective unconscious, but that would require years of inner work.

My astrology observations Part 1 (Feb 2023)

⚘ Scorpio placements

They cling to their emotions for longer than it is needed. Even if they are consciously aware of their rumination, it is very difficult to shake off the extreme feelings. They tend to revisit the memories from past. Even when life is good, they remind themselves of the bad that happened in past.

Sense of injustice, unfairness of life, revenge tendency exist. My mom as venus in scorprio keeps ruminating everything that offended or triggered her.

Tend to be very aware of human psychology since childhood. Their spirituality is not "everyone is love and compassion" but it is through psychology that they spiritually grow.

⚘Aries placements:

Short tempered. Leaderly. Quite confident even if they are in the wrong. Their confident and self assuredness can be an obstacle when they refuse to take responsibility for their wrong.

On the upside, aries placement is go getter and life up the spirit with their confidence when otherwise the situation is pessimistic. Their heatedness and mars energy also makes them hardworking. They are far from lethargic.

⚘Gemini placements:

Teenager energy. Emotional maturity is that of a teenager. **It is my insight that Gemini people talk a lot because it helps them ease their anxiety. Since they are so detached from their core and feelings, their anxiety builds up as a result of ignoring their true emotions - this is released through communication and especially verbal output.

I would not be surprised if most of the comedians, talk show hosts, chatty people have one gemini placement. Gemini needs to talk like it needs to breathe.

They are actually quite flaky. They remind me of youtube shorts section - going from one thing to the other throughout the day. I would bet most influencers have to have an air placement to be putting themselves out there in a public display. They are the only ones who can brainstorm ideas and content creation. Especially the memes, comedy, skits section. For eg, I used to watch Ryan Higa a lot and he was born in 6 June 1990. I dont have his birth details though I can figure out he must have some gemini placement and his youtube channel in early days was proof of that.

Not that gemini cannot mature but they must have a water placement in D1 or D9 chart to outgrow their flakiness eventually.

⚘Libra placements:

They actually avoid conflicts. But if their other placement is fire sign then are go from short tempered to conflict avoidant back and forth. Conflicting placements in the chart create a mess. For eg, water and fire placements together cannot be stable with either. Similarly, water and air placements - they are either feeling to the extreme or jumping emotions like it is nothing.

Yes they are charming too. Something about them makes them very charmful. Also people pleasers and codependent. Insecurities are a hell of a thing. Who is not insecure in this world? It can take a lifetime to outgrow an insecurity but the person has to be willing to work on it.

⚘Moon sign and mother connection:

Moon sign and placement shows how the mother actually behaves with you. Two siblings in one house can have different perspective of their mom. I have gemini moon and I perceive my mom as a friend like, funny, jokey but it is in 8th house so the eggshells, volatility, shadow projection is also there. My brother has pisces moon so he views mom as emotional bag and thinks her energy is attractive but it is also in 8th house so he dealt with eggshells and projection too.

My cousin has moon in scorpio and his mom is the hallmark sociopath and it is in 8th house so as a grown up he is low contact with her. The most striking theme is that for the other external world their mom is a different person but only the child knows that mom is not consistent and stable.

These moms project their shadow on the child and think their child is all those insecurities they have in themselves. For eg, if they think they are stupid then they project it on their child too and think their child is stupid too.

⚘Saturn in 8th house:

Saturn and 8th house. Sigh. Double patty karma burger. Hard working, disciplined but seems to be a pattern that their hard work is washed by unpredictable detour. They work hard to go from block 1 to 4 but fate pushes them back to block 2. Very fated life.

Unless their chart has inner planets in 8th too they are very resistant to personality change. And unfortunately personality change is the lesson of 8th house. Psychological death and rebirth is the lesson of 8th house and saturn resists that. They have a fear of change even if they are consciously aware that something is wrong in their life. Personality change can reduce a lot of life problems but people resist that.

May have a "started from the bottom now we are here" story. Their grit and saturn's rewards can make them self made persons.

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What happens when what you see is not what you get?

This video is primarily about betrayal in romantic relationship, but I think that it applies to betrayal in all other relationships too like parent-child, siblings, extended family, professional relationships, friends. It is because the mechanism of brain is similar and the betrayal affects similarly in all human relationships. Romantic relationship is much more intimate than others, that is why the severity of hurt varies depending upon who betrayed you - your spouse or your sibling or your senior at work or a stranger in the street?

Betrayal means to violate the trust; cheating means to deceive, to trick, to fool someone.

I think that these videos will give you something to think about the human relations. This is the chronology of events, what happens when what you see is not what you get=

The present depends on the past.

I thought I knew this person = wrong.

I thought I knew this person so I knew something about relationships = wrong.

I thought I knew about the person and relationship so I knew something about myself = wrong.

I dont know trust.

I am too gullible.

This causes chaos.

Chaos is the descent into the lake beneath the thin ice you were skating on, in the underground, in the unconscious or the sphere of 8th and 12th houses.

In the underground, you do self introspection and trying to make sense of the reality. Turning chaos into order.

After transformation, you rise from the dead, come back from the unconscious, look at the world in a different way.

Your brain makes an alternative map of the world for you to rely on and to infer the patterns.

This is what we call the transformation of the 8th house, shedding the skin and rebirth. Psychological rebirth.

Death of the fool

The evergreen fool. The believer of faith in goodness and light. Naive and gullible. He is the sparrow in his nest, singing a good melody, ignorant of the hungry predators hawking upon him. He is friends with the sun, the clouds, the tree and the leaves. Protected, inexperienced and untouched, the sparrow sings morning and evening. Clueless, impulsive and reckless. Childish, child like and the infantile. The fool is on a journey to sacred lands. Good intentions in heart, fueled by feelings, lacking life experiences and projecting his goodness on others, the fool is a tasty treat for dinner.

Do not mistake the fool for the poor fellow. His innocence is disgusting. He dwells in the unconscious and fears his own reality. Who even risks their life to make some new friends? The sparrow jumps off the nest, thinking it can fly, travel the skies and perhaps make some friends with the big gruesome creatures up there in the playground.

Acts before thinking, reckless, impulsive, rash, gullible. Fool is everything he should not be. Learn a thing or two about the world you are born in. Know a thing or two about the life force that ignites you. But the fool does not care. He is on an adventure, enthusiastic and intense. Excited to materialize his fantasies, the sparrow greets the horrific eagles. "They are just like me, see, they can fly and so do I, we are just the same!" Off the cliff, it happened. He is gone. Oh-he is gone. Where is he? Oh-find him, where is he? In the eagle's feast, singing a melody in his mind, the sparrow recalls his nest. Bring him back to the nest, the safety of his mind. One last melody, one more time.

The journey of fool never ends well. Maturity and self awareness are important to adulthood. Remember this, fellow fools.