Self Development Series: "I Am So Bad At Judging People".

Self development series: "I am so bad at judging people".

For 7th, 8th, 12th housers, scorpio, cancer, pisces risings and placements. Also for airy signs placements.

You were born, you had family friends neighbours, you watched TV movies, you find a boyfriend/girlfriend, graduate get a job get married, have kids and life goes on. But who are you? And how do you know who the people in your life are? How do you identify others, how do you judge who is who? There is something called "projection" that happens when two people meet, or even watch a celebrity on TV, or even read something in a letter or on a website. How would you know what I am like from my posts? You will project, assume, judge.

Projection is a psychic process, it happens automatically and spontaneously, it is not under our will power to control our projection. Just like you breath to survive, you have to project to live in the society. No, you cannot be a hermit for too long. You have to go out, work, date, marry, buy grocery - projection is a necessity.

Everybody is not the same. People are different from each other - some qualities are dominant in them and some are sleeping. You project your own dominant (good or bad) qualities on others. For example, if you have jealousy in you, you will easily spot it in others too.

It is especially for those who are more irrational and impulse driven. They would think that just because they are honest, somebody else is honest too because both are just the same, especially if that somebody says the right things like "yeah I want to connect deeply with you". How we judge others, react to them depends on our projections. But how exactly do I judge someone else? In archetypes. Archetypes are images, emotions, factors and motifs that arrange the psychic elements into certain images. Carl Jung observed in his practice that similar patterns repeated in every patient assisted by similar meanings - he called these patterns motifs and proposed that the archetypes are universal in nature, reside in the collective unconsious and are inherited by each generation. How a person reacts to a situation in 2023 is how a person reacted in 1723 - patterns are the same.

Archetypes are not singular but a combination of many elements. For example, have you watched any typical romance movie? You see a silly lover boy and a next door girl, falling in love, going through made up scenarios and end up together. These kind of characters are simplified and basic levels of archetype. Reality is 10× more complicated than fairytales.

So when a scorpio girl falls in "love" with the boy she met last week, she is actually projecting and seeing archetypes in him that may not be there. She falls for the inner image of the ideal boy, her own masculine part animus and is driven by her feelings. I see a handsome/rich/funny/intelligent/top college graduate boy? "He must be a good man, he must be what I think he is". Did he just say he loves me even though we met in a chatroom 2 days back? "Of course, I know this is love". I swear if water placements dont tell the funniest "love stories", I will eat my hat. Madam/sir, this is projection, not love. Though I would not advice against making mistakes. You learn from your mistakes. Make 100 mistakes but in the end you will learn to judge people's character the right way.

I read something interesting about projection so i will share. We are all energy. The way we project is believed to be godly or divine process. Projection happens from the background of the psyche, that is the autonomous inner inages that come and go on their own happen from the very bottom of our psyche. Therefore, those who are gifted in astrology are the ones who project very consciously. In fact, the most accurate astrologers are those who are the most watery/most in touch with their unconscious life. This is why 8th house is called the house of occult and also signifies the unconscious.

Joseph Campbell has said, "The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight". An evolved native is a good judge of character because he/she knows his/her own inner life, corners of personality, sleeping qualities, spends a lot of time exploring their own inner world and self reflection. This is why water people make detective type because they can really read the energy, tone of voice, pattern of behaviour, body language, expressions and intentions of people. Though, do not be too caught up in assumptions - projection is after all a means to understand yourself, your own individuation and identity.

Descending into the unconscious.

The danger of the unconscious underworld is that it is pretty difficult to come to the shore by sheer will. Then to make progress upon the land demands directedness and stability of thoughts and emotions. One cannot make any progress in the land if he keeps hopping back into the unconscious.

Learning to explore the unconscious is a voluntary and conscious activity. It is not a mere jump into the ocean but a step by step walk along the waves, from the feet to the knees to the neck deep and then a final dive into the world of the unknown.

Exploring the 8th house of the unknown should not be a jump from the platform. Because then you fall straight into the deep ocean and struggle to swim afloat. A lot of activities in daily life can become this platform which connect the conscious to the unconscious. Music, myth, movies, stories etc are such doors to the unconscious - the thin veil where the order of sanity is distinguished from the chaos of the disorder. This is why, many people report escaping into another world when listening to music or reading a novel.

Lifestyle changes to accommodate this venture can help. A strong ego acts as an anchor in times of flood or unprecedented danger in the ocean. A helping hand or a companion can help as well, for when you lose the sight of the shore or forget that you need to breath, the rescue can come from a psychoanalyst or a friend.

Solitary diving, nevertheless, into the occult is an adventure one must partake. If the unconscious does not drown you at all, at least you will learn to swim. Just remember, going from one extreme to the other will not help in the occult. It will not help in the conscious world either. You cannot be a doctor one day and an engineer the other day. You cannot be a mystique one day and a psychotic the next day.

Rising like the phoenix

🌸 Especially for 8th housers.

🌸 So far we know that 8th housers are traumatizing placements. We know that they meet bad people in life. We know that they face unpredictable life events. We know that they are prone to neurosis. We know that they build themselves up from the ashes. Especially after rock bottom. They yearn for the person they were before. The naive emotional and carefree person. The person who never thought twice before taking a decision. The person who was so careless with their heart and emotions. The innocent. The child. Too gullible. Too trusting. They yearn to be that person again because it just felt so good in past, before they were aware of masks, hidden colours of people and ulterior motives.

🌸 What I want to talk about is CODEPENDENCY. If you are in a mental state to understand this, the reason why bad people came into your life was because you were a codependent. A bad one at that. All of us are influenced by the energy of the people we surround ourselves with. Energy and emotions are infectious and contagious. Given the 8th house placements their emotions are already extreme and when something good happens (a new friendship or relationship or even going to grocery) they are really very pretty seriously happy. They are happy in their bones and soul and cells and every atom in their body. That is just who they are. So when the betrayal and shock happens, it hits them hard like every atom in their body is collapsing. This is why they are transformed deeply after every betrayal.

🌸 But what does one have to do after rock bottom? You are in neurosis. You know you have to change your attitude towards life. You have to change your habits. You have to change your emotional reaction. It takes time, I know, it can take years. It is not easy to heal for 8th housers. But you should know what you are doing. You are healing your codependency issues. The person you yearn for was a codependent person. For every narcissistic sociopath there is a codependent. As simple as that. You were codependent because you lacked self worth. your self esteem depended on the words, opinions and judgments of other people. Your mood depended on the mood of other people. You let others take decisions for yourself. I am not victim blaming but it is to understand who you were before. Life has given you an opportunity to fix your codependency issues. You dont want to become a codependent again. Do you?

🌸 An infantile and immature childish codependent person you were living in a womblike state chasing a paradise. 8th house/scorpio/pluto are very bold teachers. But rest assured they will bring to your consciousness your own hidden flaws. In a toxic family line there are abusers and abused - both are magnets to each other - for every narcissist there is a codependent. You might think "I am not codependent, hell naw" but you are. Just dont be in denial. This is the silver lining in your neurosis.

🌸 Healing from codependency is not sunshine and roses. It is not aesthetics. It is not fruits and flowers. It is simple learning and practice. Learning from your mistakes. Learn from youtube, internet articles, books, write, journal, record yourself speaking in voice notes, make videos of yourself, it is about learning skills. Social media makes it look like healing is pretty and beautiful mess. But it is not like that. It is taking 3 steps but slipping 2 back. It is relapsing to old patterns. It is sudden insights and intuition. It is running in circles and ruminating. It is exhausting and tiring and frustrating. You just want it to be over so that you can start living your life like a normal person.

🌸 You are now a wounded healer. A wounded physician. A doctor without a degree - doctor of souls. You feel an urge to help others. Heal others. Like Chiron who could not heal himself but healed other people. Only a wounded soul can heal another soul. It is an experiment. Dont confuse that you be a saviour complex and put yourself in trauma again. But it is to make authentic connection with another soul and do your project together. Perhaps it is now your destiny to merge with other because your poison is your medicine too. This is why all 8th housers are pulled to occult, shaman, astrology, psychology because they want to heal others. It is their task. Their presence is now calming. They are a wise person. If you are 8th houser and you healed some major trauma you know that the only way out is to accept your wounds. To accept your flaws which in this case is codependency issues. It will make you feel powerful over yourself. You wont feel helpless powerless and hopeless. You have to diagnose your spiritual illness that is codependency. Simultaneously, you live a private life. Away from social media and make believe. It is a typical pattern. Just know you are not alone.

Falling in love as a water dominant native

Inner planets (moon/sun/venus/mercury/mars) in a water house or water sign - love is different to you. You want to be with someone with whom you can be yourself and just yourself. Truly yourself. With all your feelings and vulnerabilities laid on the table, you are that safe and secure with your lover.

Water house or water sign placements make the native sensitive. Sensitive is to feel the feelings to their extreme. It is like holding a bubble in your palm, worried someone might pinch it, alert someone might blow it. You do not open yourself up to someone unless you trust their character.

Loyalty and honesty means a lot to you. You want someone as transparent as the water. You want to see through them. While other people look with their eyes, you look with your soul. Your eyes are turned inwards and constantly see the ups and downs of your emotions. Being sensitive and emotional, you are drawn to spirituality and choose your own path in life. You strive for a purpose in life. You want to know why you were born here on earth. You need a sense of mission and direction. You are a giver in love, the more you share your love, the more love there is in the world. You strive for higher principles, morals, meaning and values. You are the ones to turn the pages of philosophy books because the exterior life just does not suit your taste.

You fall in love with your soul. You meet someone and they are just the right person. Your intuition (water) tells you, this is it, you cannot reason why or how this person becomes the most prioritized person in your life. You are naturally obsessive. You are thinking of all the things you want to tell them, share with them, listen to them. Their mind, emotions and soul are your adventure place. You want to explore the depths of their mind. You want to merge your soul and identity with this person in your life.

Love is not just a word to you, it is life itself. Men with water dominant energy appear so ordinary from the outside, but oh-the right person will see the glaciers and ocean behind that mask. This ocean contains the secrets of the world. You want to self actualize with your lover. Someone who assists you in this journey. It is not just a material love to you, it is rather spiritual. You value their soul, their spirit, their essence. Love is a sacrifice to you, a noble cause, a martyr.

Perhaps, love is the language of water dominant natives. It is their religion and their philosophy. You will realize that this love trascends personality and unites with God, the eternal and the source. Nobody loves like a water dominant native, especially an evolved and mature one. They make life heaven, understand your emotional needs with their intuition, love you just the right way, be the best version of themselves, do everything to make your life better. Perhaps, nobody talks about water natives' love because very few experience it and those who experience the mature water love are too busy in self actualizing and transformation. They are too detached from self promotion and fakery.

Self development series: learning to handle life.

For 8th housers, scorpio placements - stretch to cancer, pisces placements and risings.

*knocks* Hello, astro world, it's me.. look at my birth chart please and tell me what's wrong with me? Why is my life a mess..? Why do I attract such narcissistic, controlling, manipulative people in my life? Why do i feel like I dont exist and am constantly transforming..? I have a weird relationship with my family.. I have so much trauma... I just want answers...

Just a regular day in the life of natives with vulnerable placements. Until they heal their trauma (which can take years), they would not know how to handle their life. How to not fuck up their relationships, mood, reactions, career, body, mind. The hidden gift of these natives is to be in touch with their insticts and emotional life. They do not just exist but are in tune with their emotional states. When unevolved, they act on their impulses, feelings, imagination, thoughts mindlessly.

When evolved, they have a conscious control over their impulses, feelings, imagination and fantasies. This is a gradual process, not overnight, and one filled with many trials, challenges and fallings. Contrary to the stereotypes, these natives are not doomed to be crybabies/crazy all their lives. They certainly can handle their life, depending upon the whole chart, timing of planets and the luck.

The trick is to know when to be rational and when to let loose. The trick is to change your lifestyle in such a way as accommodates things you can control. For eg, do not buy tubs of ice cream if you know you binge eat in maniac state. The trick is to live in the flow, be in the flow of life, mindfulness comes naturally to you when you are not giving in to every self destructive impulse. The trick is to set values for yourself. For eg, do not do casual hookup if you know you will get attached and obsessive. The trick is to hold yourself to higher standards of behaviour. The trick is to find fellow similar/compatible placement natives who will make your life a little easier. The trick is to become aware of your own inner narcissist and stop feeding him/her what they crave, instead choose the opposite action.

There is a thin line between chaos and order, that these natives know very well of. Sometimes they feel like they do not belong to this world, they are misfits, as if they want to go back to home. As if they daily life is very harsh and tiresome to them. Beware not to fall into the grips of substance abuse and/or criminal gangs. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your life. You have to live anyway, so why not make it worthwhile?

"Everything of which I know, but of which I am not at the moment thinking; everything of which I was once conscious but have now forgotten; every thing perceived by my senses, but not noted by my conscious mind; and everything which, involuntarily and without paying attention to it, I feel, think, remember, want, and do; all the future things that are taking shape in me and will sometime come to consciousness: all this is the content of the unconscious." - On the Nature of the Psyche, The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche, CW 8, par. 382.

"The little prince" quotes for signs:

⚘Falling in love as a water sign:

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day.

⚘Falling in love as an earth sign:

It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.

You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose.

⚘Falling in love as an air sign:

Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me

⚘Falling in love as a fire sign:

One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.