Self Development Series: "I Am So Bad At Judging People".

Self development series: "I am so bad at judging people".

For 7th, 8th, 12th housers, scorpio, cancer, pisces risings and placements. Also for airy signs placements.

You were born, you had family friends neighbours, you watched TV movies, you find a boyfriend/girlfriend, graduate get a job get married, have kids and life goes on. But who are you? And how do you know who the people in your life are? How do you identify others, how do you judge who is who? There is something called "projection" that happens when two people meet, or even watch a celebrity on TV, or even read something in a letter or on a website. How would you know what I am like from my posts? You will project, assume, judge.

Projection is a psychic process, it happens automatically and spontaneously, it is not under our will power to control our projection. Just like you breath to survive, you have to project to live in the society. No, you cannot be a hermit for too long. You have to go out, work, date, marry, buy grocery - projection is a necessity.

Everybody is not the same. People are different from each other - some qualities are dominant in them and some are sleeping. You project your own dominant (good or bad) qualities on others. For example, if you have jealousy in you, you will easily spot it in others too.

It is especially for those who are more irrational and impulse driven. They would think that just because they are honest, somebody else is honest too because both are just the same, especially if that somebody says the right things like "yeah I want to connect deeply with you". How we judge others, react to them depends on our projections. But how exactly do I judge someone else? In archetypes. Archetypes are images, emotions, factors and motifs that arrange the psychic elements into certain images. Carl Jung observed in his practice that similar patterns repeated in every patient assisted by similar meanings - he called these patterns motifs and proposed that the archetypes are universal in nature, reside in the collective unconsious and are inherited by each generation. How a person reacts to a situation in 2023 is how a person reacted in 1723 - patterns are the same.

Archetypes are not singular but a combination of many elements. For example, have you watched any typical romance movie? You see a silly lover boy and a next door girl, falling in love, going through made up scenarios and end up together. These kind of characters are simplified and basic levels of archetype. Reality is 10× more complicated than fairytales.

So when a scorpio girl falls in "love" with the boy she met last week, she is actually projecting and seeing archetypes in him that may not be there. She falls for the inner image of the ideal boy, her own masculine part animus and is driven by her feelings. I see a handsome/rich/funny/intelligent/top college graduate boy? "He must be a good man, he must be what I think he is". Did he just say he loves me even though we met in a chatroom 2 days back? "Of course, I know this is love". I swear if water placements dont tell the funniest "love stories", I will eat my hat. Madam/sir, this is projection, not love. Though I would not advice against making mistakes. You learn from your mistakes. Make 100 mistakes but in the end you will learn to judge people's character the right way.

I read something interesting about projection so i will share. We are all energy. The way we project is believed to be godly or divine process. Projection happens from the background of the psyche, that is the autonomous inner inages that come and go on their own happen from the very bottom of our psyche. Therefore, those who are gifted in astrology are the ones who project very consciously. In fact, the most accurate astrologers are those who are the most watery/most in touch with their unconscious life. This is why 8th house is called the house of occult and also signifies the unconscious.

Joseph Campbell has said, "The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight". An evolved native is a good judge of character because he/she knows his/her own inner life, corners of personality, sleeping qualities, spends a lot of time exploring their own inner world and self reflection. This is why water people make detective type because they can really read the energy, tone of voice, pattern of behaviour, body language, expressions and intentions of people. Though, do not be too caught up in assumptions - projection is after all a means to understand yourself, your own individuation and identity.

Safety first: protection against manipulators.

Inner planets in 8th house/12th house/generational planets (Jupiter, Saturn in 8th house)

Sunday evening. You sit along with your friends and family for a nice relaxing hangout. Tea, snacks, gifts, laughter, full of energy. People sharing their stories and experiences. All well, few hours later, party over. You are still in the warmth of energy, joyed by the event, feeling good to be alive. Then.. something clicks. You are confused. This couple said things that dont sit right with you. What is it? You know in your head that this person was lying, the manipulation was so subtle that you only see it now, they were grooming the crowd to give them what they want. Welcome to the dark side of human psychology.

Intentional or unintentional, it does not matter, but you were manipulated and that is real. Some people go through life carefree and unbothered. Others know a little more. Every conversation we have with others is either an influence or a manipulation. Parent influences child. Teacher infleunces student. Spouse influences partner. Customer influences seller. Every person influences others, but when this influence is loaded with malicious, selfish and one sided exploitation, then you know you are being manipulated. When you give more than you get, are being misled and misinformed and being used as a social toy then you know you are being manipulated. Most disturbing manipulation happens from those who are closest to us, that is family, siblings and partner etc. When someone lies to you, they paint a picture in your head that does not exist. The lies distort your perception and affect your decisions, presuppositions about the world and opinions.

Why do some people never identify liars and manipulators? Because these people know what they want from others, are dominating Alpha type, extremely charming and love bombing, speak over others and assert their opinions on others. All of us have emotional needs and vulnerability, most necessary is the need for social acceptance and participation. We crave to belong to someone and some group. A lot of people never identify liars and manipulators because they are not so emotionally sensitive and enlightened. As unfortunate as it is, the world is after all not a bubble of well meaning and fair deal people.

Once you identify manipulative people, you also understand how futile it is to confront them. These people live in a different reality. They go to any lengths to manipulate people's perceptions because it benefits them. They are crazy making tricksters. Can you ever be "friends" with a trickster? No, in the end you lose more than you gain. Here is something you can learn from:

Here is quotes from the video: "The victims of people such as con men and snake oil salesmen, are those who are unconscious of trickster – they have been tricked by their own naivety, greed or self-deception. We have to be a little tricky, to guard against being tricked."

"We can deceive others or be deceived, but we can never deceive ourselves. Trickster forces us to look at ourselves in the mirror, and to the persona that we are putting on to impress others, to the detriment of our instinctual needs, our creativity and playfulness that is so vital to give us the energy that we need in our daily life."

Once you understand that the manipulators outside are a mirror to your internal trickster, it is time to change your beliefs about yourself and transform a little. This is why the 8th housers, scorpion, 12th housers are the ones to identify manipulation because their natural ability is to transform. Someone who has inner planets in 1st/2nd/3rd houses in air/fire signs simply would not have the ability to transform - but they can be a trickster if they are unevolved. Sadly, a lot of air/fire people stay unevolved because their natural ability is not to do self reflection. Water house/sign natives can learn from these natives, because it is said that the people who hurt you the most are your spiritual teachers.

“The so-called civilised man has forgotten the trickster. He remembers him only figuratively and metaphorically, when, irritated by his own ineptitude, he speaks of fate playing tricks on him or of things being bewitched. He never suspects that his own hidden and apparently harmless shadow has qualities whose dangerousness exceeds his wildest dreams.” - Carl Jung, C.W. Vol. 9.1: On The Psychology of the Trickster Figure.

In the so called transformation of 8th housers and scorpion lies the enlightenment and coming to the consciousness. It is to shed the ignorance of unconscious and primitive way of life. It is to dissolve your previously held ego and step into a new way of life. It is to get in touch with your spirits and the soul that is you. To change your habits and interests. One example, to stop listening to music and songs rather meditate, watch your impulse and emotions, create music rather than consume. This is a new way of life. One that will both change your interpersonal relations and your own inner life.

Death of the fool

The evergreen fool. The believer of faith in goodness and light. Naive and gullible. He is the sparrow in his nest, singing a good melody, ignorant of the hungry predators hawking upon him. He is friends with the sun, the clouds, the tree and the leaves. Protected, inexperienced and untouched, the sparrow sings morning and evening. Clueless, impulsive and reckless. Childish, child like and the infantile. The fool is on a journey to sacred lands. Good intentions in heart, fueled by feelings, lacking life experiences and projecting his goodness on others, the fool is a tasty treat for dinner.

Do not mistake the fool for the poor fellow. His innocence is disgusting. He dwells in the unconscious and fears his own reality. Who even risks their life to make some new friends? The sparrow jumps off the nest, thinking it can fly, travel the skies and perhaps make some friends with the big gruesome creatures up there in the playground.

Acts before thinking, reckless, impulsive, rash, gullible. Fool is everything he should not be. Learn a thing or two about the world you are born in. Know a thing or two about the life force that ignites you. But the fool does not care. He is on an adventure, enthusiastic and intense. Excited to materialize his fantasies, the sparrow greets the horrific eagles. "They are just like me, see, they can fly and so do I, we are just the same!" Off the cliff, it happened. He is gone. Oh-he is gone. Where is he? Oh-find him, where is he? In the eagle's feast, singing a melody in his mind, the sparrow recalls his nest. Bring him back to the nest, the safety of his mind. One last melody, one more time.

The journey of fool never ends well. Maturity and self awareness are important to adulthood. Remember this, fellow fools.

Relationship 7th-8th house nexus observation

*It is strictly what I have seen in people around me. I will call them "person" so as not to reveal who they are. This is vedic/sidereal observation.

7th lord in 8th or 8th lord in 7th house have a connection with transformations triggered by relationship or marriage.

7th lord in 8th house: Wedding happened suddenly in a rush. Families were looking for a potential partner and suddenly the marriage is fixed and done in 2-3 months.

Life of native and spouse changed drastically after marriage. Person 1 went from living a comfortable lifestyle to lower level lifestyle. Person 2 went from lower lifestyle to engaging with upper level wealth family.

Native with 7th in 8th house planet has a up and down full life. Very rollercoaster type. The spouse and native were each other's supporter when there was nobody else. Situation was such that only spouse was there in the most vulnerable period and weakest point.

The spouse is somewhat hidden from the rest of the family of native. As if the family of native dont know the spouse fully. There are aspects to their personality that they hide.

The native marry into family where in laws support them financially. Person 2 was financially motivated by in laws. Person 3 was financially aided by in laws when their own family did not.

It seems that the spouse does not have a cordial relationship with the inlaws. It might be because the 8th house native comes from narcissistic family line so they might be surprised after marriage to see ongoing emotional and psychological abuse in the family although from the outside everything seems normal and decent.

Significant wealth/status/class inequality between native and spouse family.

If inner planets are involved then the transformation is psychological and emotional. Person 4 was triggered to do complete self transformation after break up. By transformation, I mean change of identity and perspective of the world.

8th house native is some kind of mysterious being. Spends a lot of time alone lost in thoughts. Addicted to something. Either alcohol or money. Private personality and very unpredictable. The affairs of their marriage is hidden from the rest of the family so they might be surprised to know of the facts because neither party makes a show of their personal life.

Of course, native and spouse meet in secretive manner. No public arrangement.

Depending on the dignity of the planets and placements the native and spouse can learn significant life lessons through the transformations and challenges of life. Especially on the psychological levels. Psychology = spirituality. It is a very spiritual marriage if the partners are both awakened.

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Hello! I hope this is understood, and I apologize in advance for my English (I am a Spanish speaker) I read all your publications related to Venus in the 8th house, I have that position in my natal chart, as well as the moon in Scorpio and Venus square Pluto. I agree with many things you said, from the intensity to the constant transformation, I stop by to ask how you have been feeling lately since your last transformation? Thanks for Tumblr, I felt accompanied

Hi there, this is a good question, especially for 8th housers to figure out "who am I" at any given moment.

I constantly think about my inner life these days. I feel like I am losing connection with the default external idea of people and the world, while peeling layers after layers into the inner idea of people and the world. I think about the connections between people, patterns of personalities and try to connect my feelings with them.

The transformations are constant and never quite reach the end. I do shed my skin but it does not completely leave me, as if I am still attached to the old skin in some ways. Every conversation, event, experience in my life is like a fishing hook, as though I find something new about the psyche with every passing day.

While before my transformation (my major transformation before rock bottom) I was extremely chaotic and disorganized, now I feel stable and in control of myself usually. I have read about psychology and being a feeler + 8th house intuition, I know a lot of things which are beneath the surface. I feel like I have learned how to ride the waves, but I still have my days when I am thrown into the complicated emotional confusion and have to pick myself out of there. This is why I journal a lot and write down most of the things that come to my mind.

Especially my desire to be in a relationship has been deeper and mature. Earlier I did not know what I wanted in a man, I would just chase relationship, play mind games, get obsessed and daydreamed a lot. But now I feel different, as if my ideal date would be to sit near a pond at evening with a partner who just understands what I understand. I want to accomplish a kind of wholeness and salvation from life.

Also, my life is quite secretive. My social personality is distant from my occult personality. I dont like to reveal my occult side to people because I just feel like I want to be solitary in my inner work.

Finally, I try to feel less and think more, or translate my feelings into words more. Dr. Carl Jung once advised Robert Johnson "to spend most of his time alone, have a separate room in the house to be used for nothing but inner work, never to join any organization or collectivity." It feels like Dr. Jung is saying these words to me too.

Scorpio/8th house dominant/stellium: Social circle.

Jaded, cynical, skeptical, guarded, high boundaries: That's how we describe an evolved scorpion/8th houser. They have seen a lot of bad stuff in life. They choose their social circle wisely.

Superficial parametres like looks, fame, titles, tags, money are byproduct of one thing - character. It does not matter to them that you are a high achiever unless you reflect that in your character.

Just-world fallacy is a cognitive bias which assumes that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. That what you get is what you deserve. That a successful person must deserve their success. An evolved scorpion just does not believe in this. They have seen far too many successful people with bad characters.

Scorpions choose their social circles based on character not external success. They choose people who are emotionally mature, self aware, know their emotional patterns, can self reflect and choose their behaviour. Scorpion has no time for immature people and they do not care for people pleasing. An evolved scorpion knows that a person who values a goal bigger than themselves can make money as a byproduct of their interest. They choose a doctor who actually genuinely enjoys studying, learning, helping people as a friend over a doctor who is just in the profession for title and money. Mars as the ruler of scorpio gives them the potential to perform and achieve their goals, but for the right reasons.

With sorpions, what you see is what you get. They are both emotional and rational. They are intuitive, thinkers and rationalize. An evolved scorpion is a lone warrior, on the hero's journey, no energy for drama and gossip, no time for toxicity and superficiality. This is because they intuitively know that life has to have a meaning. They do not merely live for pleasures. They live for purpose and dedication.

How so? Scorpion/8th house are both connected to strong libido energy. An unevolved scorpion can be a fuckboy, wasted, chaotic, problematic person. But an evolved scorpion is the anti-thesis. Libido as a life force, creative energy, kundalini, awakening, initiation, enlightenment, inner wisdom is what drives them. Many scorpion are also into occult subjects, but even without occult they are definitely into psychological exploration and philosophy.

Sigmund Freud has described libido as the instinctual physiological or psychic energy associated with sexual urges and, in his later writings, with all constructive human activity. This libido is the strength of an evolved scorpion because they are the ones who are most in touch with their conscience. Why scorpion? All signs can read astrology but nobody does it like scorpion. It is just like that. All signs have their innate qualities which share many similarities with others, mutually, but there is something about scorpion which sets them apart. This is where their reputation of dark, mysterious and psychic comes from, because they are internally judging others for all signs of character flaws and defects.

Their authenticity is remarkable. They keep their persona as close to the Self as possible. They like to live by their true values and the instincts. You cannot make them choose to be inauthentic at gun point. This is why they are also very conscious of karma and moral compass. They speak what they internally believe to be true and therefore they befriend those who are also on the quest for self knowledge.