Life Themes: Yours And Mine.

Life themes: yours and mine.

🌸For anyone who resonates

I was watching a youtube channel of a woman who posts her life. It reminded me of my teenage years and early 20s years when I was too naive and careless like her. I would make drawings, cards, record songs and really dedicate myself to people I cared for. I would not think consciously of what I was doing and just followed my heart. Somehow when I got at a low point in life, I felt like I was depressed and started living my childhood again. I would tell my childhood stories and venting as a joke but later i realized that it was no jokes it was serious trauma. Then began a long journey of internet research and contemplation on human psychology and mental illnesses. Obviously, now my perspective was changed. I started looking for underlying faces, ulterior motives, signs of manipulation and really take lies seriously.

But somewhere in my heart was a bitterness "why me?" If other women can do the same things as me but flourish, have smooth lives and socialize, then why was I bumping into detours and psychological pain? For eg, some woman can post picture of her award on social media and be proud of it. But if i do it, i would feel intense regret and shame "what if i am imposter?" "I am so entitled and narcissistic" "i am just lucky, my good karma will run out then I will face failures" "There are so many girls who worked harder than me but did not get award" and so on. A cycle of self destructive thoughts and not under my control either.

Later, I read that it was my unconscious telling me I was on the wrong path, one that was not determined for me. What we see in other people's life is not necessarily meant to work for us either. Other people do have softer life paths and imitating them will do you no good, if your life has been darker than average. Life is not black and white, some days are really nice, some memories are really nice but if you think that the downsides outweigh the upaides then it is time to rethink if you are making some mistakes, that is if you are walking the path not meant for you? Simple example, some person can do love marriage all fine, but you keep getting into heart breaks, does this mean you need to go by arranged marriage route? Or, some people can succeed in business all fine but you seem to make losses, does this mean you need to go by job route? Or, some people can eat carbohydrates all fine but you seem to get sick from too much carbs?

I make a list of all the things I did in past and whether they were mistake ❌ or correct ✅? If they worked out correct for me then that is meant for my life theme but if it was mistake for me then I would not do it again. One more thing is to use tarot to ask question and write down cards that come up then in future reflect if this decision was mistake ❌ or correct ✅ for you? Eliminate mistakes and repeat correct decisions. This strategy is same as told in many self help books.

Basically, individual life theme differs between people. You are not living the life I live, although we both are interested in astrology. It might take some practice to figure out life theme but I think it can help some people who are prone to chaotic decisions making.

"The little prince" quotes for signs:

⚘Falling in love as a water sign:

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day.

⚘Falling in love as an earth sign:

It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.

You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose.

⚘Falling in love as an air sign:

Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me

⚘Falling in love as a fire sign:

One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.

What is seen cannot be unseen.

The first half of life is when you are unconscious, unaware and ignorant. When the gates of 8th house open, everything you knew about life is revealed to you. On emotional, mental, physical plane, secrets are revealed to you. Secret personalities, secret character, secret identity, lies and manipulation. Mental frameworks are broken, presuppositions are ruined, "everything I knew about the world and people was wrong".

What is seen cannot be unseen. You cannot be the same blindfolded native you were before. How careless, intense and emotional you were. Living on auto pilot. Before you know, your life shatters to pieces. Gifted with sharp intuition, you KNOW you have to transform. Memories of past come up to surface, emotionally overwhelmed and confused by "what just happened", you run towards the door but it seems the force is not in your control. What do I do? Where should i go? Help.. Help! Fear not, synchronicities will guide your way. Fateful detours guide your way. Inner reflection begins, childhood traumas are healed, you have the intuition to see through the mask of people. To the outside world, you appear to be lost and broken. But on the inside, you KNOW you are walking the path you were deatined to walk.

You are just not the same person anymore. You are a wounded healer. Relationships change. You are changed forever. You change your thought patterns, emotional reactions and identity. You begin to control the chaos that once controlled you. People say "you are different now, something has changed in you". You are threatening and fierce. You are resilient and reliable. New life begins, new people enter life, new chapter unfolds.

Deep down in your heart, you remember the person you were before. Longing to be that naive, infantile and careless person. You have seen the bad and the dark. You cannot unsee the bad and the dark. Life does not feel the same anymore.

Self development series: trust your perception. No matter what.

For inner planets in 7th, 8th, 12th house, water signs placements, water risings.

Those of us who have not been on the good side of fate keep thinking what is wrong with us. The "other people" appear to be socializing, relaxed and living it out. But you stare from a distance, comparing your life to them, wondering why you are surrounded by malicious people and most importantly, how to change your pattern?

You must trust your perception. Cognitive Dissonance is when contradictory perceptions, beliefs, actions, feelings, ideas, values and things are told to you by somebody else. You are unable to trust your own perception. You are confused about your reality. For example, a man who cheats on his partner but says that he loves her still. Again cheats but says he is wired like that, men are men, he is polyamorous, it is his biological instinct, in past kings used to keep 100 wives. Of course, you are confused. Or someone who does something problematic but says "you are jealous of me, you are insecure, I dont care what you say, I am not wrong at all - you are wrong". This causes mental confusion to you. The other person is straight up lying, making it up, manipulating, but to you it is confusion.

People are not "oh so complicated" like that. People are actually easy to understand if you observe the patterns. The same patterns repeat all their lives. They can pretend to be somebody else for a day or two but the facade ultimately falls. Trust your judgment. We cannot guarantee to make the best decisions all the time but learning to trust your judgment will make you assertive, confident and secure in yourself.

It is especially for those who are trauma survivors, they are vulnerable and impressionable. Abusive people abuse then confuse. They might justify or rationalize their behaviour because religion/science/mythology/history says so, they will devalue you one minute then claim to love you the next minute - say it is for your benefit/it is your fault/they did not mean it. Do not be fooled by the words, trust the patterns.

We are humans, of course we will connect with language and words. Whatever language you speak, you connect with others. I am writing in English, you know English, you understand what I write, it aligns with your judgment so you trust what I say. I have to hold this trust by not lying, misleading, manipulating otherwise I will become an abuser.

It will help to read on sociopath v/s narcissist on internet. Do not underestimate the number of toxic people around you. Of course we cannot diagnose mental illness in others but we can identify their symptoms and draw our boundaries. Not all narcissists are sociopath, but all sociopaths are narcissists. Trust the patterns. Not all narcissists are alpha overt type, not all narcissists will financially exploit others. You decide where you draw the boundary. Especially if you are guilty of emotional investment and intense reactions before and want to change the scene in your life.

So, the next time you see someone flattering or love bombing you and you know their pattern beforehand, trust that they are not sincere this time as well.

Why do people become abusers? Destiny, perhaps. Do abusers know they are abusive? It depends. Some of them do not know they are emotionally abusive, some know but still do it. Patterns are hard to identify and change for the abuser. They are so intertwined in their reality that they dont even know what they are doing. You can see a narcissist doing their "dance" from a distance but he/she will not know it. It takes immense will power to change your patterns in your 20s, 30, 40s. Then it is even harder beyond that. What is a spiritual event that can change an abuser? Anything that forces them to enter intense emotional distress. Rock bottom, social outcast, divorce, ultimate failure in life etc. This is why you see some toxic people are genuinely transformed, they go to rehab or therapy or do inner work on their own. There is no genuine transformation without emotional turmoil. Those who feel deeply also transform.

For those who do not change? Forgive them. Distance yourself. Know that if they knew what they were doing, if they genuinely had the insight, they would be blown by shock and remorse. Leave them in their reality. There are plenty of decent people living their lives, looking for friends like you.

Self development series: "I am so bad at judging people".

For 7th, 8th, 12th housers, scorpio, cancer, pisces risings and placements. Also for airy signs placements.

You were born, you had family friends neighbours, you watched TV movies, you find a boyfriend/girlfriend, graduate get a job get married, have kids and life goes on. But who are you? And how do you know who the people in your life are? How do you identify others, how do you judge who is who? There is something called "projection" that happens when two people meet, or even watch a celebrity on TV, or even read something in a letter or on a website. How would you know what I am like from my posts? You will project, assume, judge.

Projection is a psychic process, it happens automatically and spontaneously, it is not under our will power to control our projection. Just like you breath to survive, you have to project to live in the society. No, you cannot be a hermit for too long. You have to go out, work, date, marry, buy grocery - projection is a necessity.

Everybody is not the same. People are different from each other - some qualities are dominant in them and some are sleeping. You project your own dominant (good or bad) qualities on others. For example, if you have jealousy in you, you will easily spot it in others too.

It is especially for those who are more irrational and impulse driven. They would think that just because they are honest, somebody else is honest too because both are just the same, especially if that somebody says the right things like "yeah I want to connect deeply with you". How we judge others, react to them depends on our projections. But how exactly do I judge someone else? In archetypes. Archetypes are images, emotions, factors and motifs that arrange the psychic elements into certain images. Carl Jung observed in his practice that similar patterns repeated in every patient assisted by similar meanings - he called these patterns motifs and proposed that the archetypes are universal in nature, reside in the collective unconsious and are inherited by each generation. How a person reacts to a situation in 2023 is how a person reacted in 1723 - patterns are the same.

Archetypes are not singular but a combination of many elements. For example, have you watched any typical romance movie? You see a silly lover boy and a next door girl, falling in love, going through made up scenarios and end up together. These kind of characters are simplified and basic levels of archetype. Reality is 10× more complicated than fairytales.

So when a scorpio girl falls in "love" with the boy she met last week, she is actually projecting and seeing archetypes in him that may not be there. She falls for the inner image of the ideal boy, her own masculine part animus and is driven by her feelings. I see a handsome/rich/funny/intelligent/top college graduate boy? "He must be a good man, he must be what I think he is". Did he just say he loves me even though we met in a chatroom 2 days back? "Of course, I know this is love". I swear if water placements dont tell the funniest "love stories", I will eat my hat. Madam/sir, this is projection, not love. Though I would not advice against making mistakes. You learn from your mistakes. Make 100 mistakes but in the end you will learn to judge people's character the right way.

I read something interesting about projection so i will share. We are all energy. The way we project is believed to be godly or divine process. Projection happens from the background of the psyche, that is the autonomous inner inages that come and go on their own happen from the very bottom of our psyche. Therefore, those who are gifted in astrology are the ones who project very consciously. In fact, the most accurate astrologers are those who are the most watery/most in touch with their unconscious life. This is why 8th house is called the house of occult and also signifies the unconscious.

Joseph Campbell has said, "The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight". An evolved native is a good judge of character because he/she knows his/her own inner life, corners of personality, sleeping qualities, spends a lot of time exploring their own inner world and self reflection. This is why water people make detective type because they can really read the energy, tone of voice, pattern of behaviour, body language, expressions and intentions of people. Though, do not be too caught up in assumptions - projection is after all a means to understand yourself, your own individuation and identity.

What happens when what you see is not what you get?

This video is primarily about betrayal in romantic relationship, but I think that it applies to betrayal in all other relationships too like parent-child, siblings, extended family, professional relationships, friends. It is because the mechanism of brain is similar and the betrayal affects similarly in all human relationships. Romantic relationship is much more intimate than others, that is why the severity of hurt varies depending upon who betrayed you - your spouse or your sibling or your senior at work or a stranger in the street?

Betrayal means to violate the trust; cheating means to deceive, to trick, to fool someone.

I think that these videos will give you something to think about the human relations. This is the chronology of events, what happens when what you see is not what you get=

The present depends on the past.

I thought I knew this person = wrong.

I thought I knew this person so I knew something about relationships = wrong.

I thought I knew about the person and relationship so I knew something about myself = wrong.

I dont know trust.

I am too gullible.

This causes chaos.

Chaos is the descent into the lake beneath the thin ice you were skating on, in the underground, in the unconscious or the sphere of 8th and 12th houses.

In the underground, you do self introspection and trying to make sense of the reality. Turning chaos into order.

After transformation, you rise from the dead, come back from the unconscious, look at the world in a different way.

Your brain makes an alternative map of the world for you to rely on and to infer the patterns.

This is what we call the transformation of the 8th house, shedding the skin and rebirth. Psychological rebirth.