YOU ARE REAL.

YOU ARE REAL.

Rating dsmp characters based on how good I think their hugs would be bc I'm bored

alivebur: 4/10 will go on a crazy ramble, and he's very cold. the evil laugh is on point tho, and pretty good squeeze

Ghostbur: 9/10 he would just act like i'm the best. i like those hugs. he's cold though, and the blue would be hard to clean up :/

Philza: 10/10 dad hugs. and wings. great mix. and he's fucking Philza Minecraft

Techno: 5/10 he wouldn't hug back at first, but once he does it's warm. but the hugs are always too short and he barely even sqeezes.

Tommy: 6/10 this child will stab you. other than that, pretty solid hug.

Tubbo: 7/10 this child won't stab you. but he will make a vague threat. he seems warm though, and he would do the lil squeeze

Ranboo: 9/10 he tall. and he is a dad and a lesbian. dads and lesbians give the best hugs. he has a tail too, and it'll probably wrap around hug receiver. good hug :) he might have an existential crisis mid-hug tho :(

Karl: 10/10 have you seen this man? he would give the best hugs. like, hug tight with one hand and the other in hair. aaaaaaaaaaaa cold hands, tho

Sappitus Nappitus: 8/10 so fjucking warm. prolly head on top of head too. sometimes he might get exited and light on fire though

Quack man: 6/10 just... long hug. long hugs are good. he might propose a weird gamble thingy though

Dream: 1/10 will blackmail you/steal your prized possessions/speedrun your funeral. pretty warm though

Niki: 10/10 she's warm, she smells like bread, and she will mess with the hair

Puffy: 10/10 mom hugs. she smells like the ocean, and rocks back and forth like she's rocking a baby. wait i want c!Puffy as a mom-

Foolish: 9/10 this 24 foot motherfucker could carry me like a baby. the initial lift would be terrifying, but i would feel like baby, so it would be worth it

Eret: 9/10 she would do the thing where she wraps his arms around you. and does the squeezy. but will step on the feet every time without fail

BBH: 2/10 will try to bring you into his weird egg cult. but dad vibes

Antfrost: 5/10 kitty but egg. but tall and could carry me like baby. but i would need to join egg cult... time to be mind controlled ig

Ponk: 9/10 he gives off the vibes

Sam: ?/10 he's a bit of a wild card, he would give good hugs, but at the same time, look at what happened to Ponk

Skeppy: 1/10 he's 2'2. and made out of diamond. so it would feel like hugging a sharp, cold, hard stuffed animal.

Hannah: 10/10 scary flower lady gives off the vibes. idk why

ok cool i'm done

I am once again proposing nonbinary c!Tommy using he/him pronouns but identifies as a lesbian

dsmp, but Wilbur and pirate shapeshifter Sally switch places

(don't worry, Wilbur still fucked a fish)

dsmp, but make it unraveled

(reblogs > likes!!!!)

there are 3 types of people in this fandom:

the god complex

crippling depression

depressed god