Jamming With Mark

Jamming with Mark

Ever since this Relay Cam – I know there were previous instances of him showing off his guitar-playing skills – I knew I fell in love more with Mark Lee.

I can imagine him pursuing this path in the future, and you bet that I’m going to buy his solo acoustic album. Not that I don’t support Rapper Mark, but I am so whipped for this side of him. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

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Summary: Essie and Mark bond over a jamming session, where feelings are left to linger with the songs he decided to play for her. In short, here’s Mark as a guitar-playing crooner and some of the songs I wish he could play. 

POV: 2nd person. 

Word count: 900 + words. Wow, this is the shortest piece so far! 

Warning: There’s not much to say, but the lyrics of some of the songs are in bold. I just want to emphasize them just because. 

Recommended listening: Oh boy, we’ve got a lot here! I’ll list all of the songs at the bottom of this page for your listening. I hope you do imagine Mark playing this too! 

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You always pegged Mark as an R ‘n B-kind-of-guy. You weren’t surprised when you heard him cover Justin Bieber’s ‘What Do You Mean?’ on his guitar one time.

However, when he visited your apartment after being abroad for a couple of months, you didn’t expect him to play one of your favorites.

There was tension in the air when he started strumming ‘All Flowers In Time Bend Towards the Sun’ by Jeff Buckley and Elizabeth Fraser. You felt your heartbeat loudly against your chest, and you had to put a hand over it to calm it down.

That song was heartbreakingly beautiful, and sometimes you felt guilty listening to it. The song was demo leaked after the death of Buckley, never intended for a release. It felt like a secret between two people (who were ex-lovers in real life) that you weren’t supposed to know, but there it was for everyone to listen to.

He looked at you as his signal to start singing. Fraser’s part came first, and you did your best to emulate her famous vocalization. You closed your eyes, feeling the song to the bone.

When Mark’s part came on, you heard a difference in his voice. It was a bit deeper than usual, or maybe he’s channeling some Buckley in him.

The world stopped for you once you got to the chorus of the song. It was just you and Mark on the sofa, eyes locked on each other.

“All flowers in time bend towards the sun, I know you say that there’s no one for you, but here is one.”

As you repeat the lines over and over, you noticed that both of you were moving closer to each other.

Before you knew it, the song was done, and you felt breathless. You noticed Mark was audibly breathing as if the song was too heavy for him to sing.

“Wow Mark, I can’t believe you know this song,” you said, breaking the silence.

“Well, I’ve been listening to your playlist for the past few days,” he said, still a bit breathless.

Your eyes locked on each other again, and you felt your cheeks burn at how embarrassed you were feeling right now. You didn’t want Mark to feel that, so you continued to stare into his eyes, and you noticed that there was a glimmer in his.

“Want me to play another song?” His hands slid back to the strings of his guitar, and he steadied himself on the couch.

“Okay, show me what else you learned how to play,” you said, leaning your back on a pillow.

“It feels like I only go backwards, baby, every part of me says go ahead…” You weren’t expecting him to sing another heartbreaking song from your playlist.

He was now playing the most known Tame Impala song (‘Feels Like We Only Go Backwards’) that has been covered by many artists, but his version sounds similar to Alex Turner’s (of Arctic Monkeys fame).

You shut your eyes and let his playing calm you. Despite your attempts to feel chill, the lyrics bothered you a bit. It felt like he was singing it to you as a message.

To be honest, you weren’t completely honest with your feelings for him. He might be younger than you, but he expressed his desire to be with you. He declared, in front of your best friends Johnny and Key, that he will wait for you.

You felt that you were sending him mixed signals. There were times that you reciprocated his sweetness, and there were instances that you ignored them. He was a sweet kid, but the age gap made you feel uncomfortable.

Once he was done singing, you opened your eyes and saw that he looked concerned.

“Essie noona, why are you crying?”

You didn’t notice it until you felt the collar of your sweatshirt damp with tears. You wiped them away and looked away from him.

“Did I do something wrong?” You noticed that he moved closer, but he was hesitant to touch you.

“No, it’s just…me, being dramatic as always,” you said softly, wiping away all your tears. You didn’t mind if your eyes were a bit red, he has seen you in a worse state than this.

“Aw, don’t say that,” he said, and now he held your hand. You let him, and you were bold enough to let your fingers intertwine with each other. “Thank you Marky, you’ve always been kind to me.”

You shared shy smiles before he kissed your hand. You squeezed his in response before you let it go. It was calloused from all the guitar playing, but it felt warm.

“Do you want me to play another song again?” This time, he asked his question with only a few centimeters gap between you two.

“If you have been indeed listening to my playlist, can you play anything from the ‘Submarine’ soundtrack?” You replied with a smirk on your face, hoping this will challenge him.

It took him a moment to play something, as he was remembering the starting chords of the songs. When he found the one he was going to play, he faced you confidently and started playing ‘Stuck in the Puzzle’.

It felt fitting once more, and you didn’t feel attacked by it. You gave him a thumbs-up, and he continued singing, his emotions showing with each line.

“Fingers dimming the light like you’re used to being told that you’re trouble,” he looked at you for a moment before staring at the guitar again, “And I spent all night, stuck on the puzzle…”

You leaned your head on the sofa and looked at him adoringly. You loved moments like these with Mark – bonding over your love for music and discovering new artists to listen to.

How you wish things weren’t complicated with you liking a lot of guys, your best friend Johnny included…

–––

FIN

Sugar and Fluff (Volume 2)

Here’s a follow-up to the first installment of this mini series, which features Johnny and Essie struggling with their feelings for each other. 

There’s also the special participation of NCT 127′s resident bunny, Kim Doyoung! What is he up to there?

He ain’t dancing to Elevator (127F) with Johnny, that’s for sure! Read on, and let me know what you think! 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

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POV: 3rd person since two of these are some of my recent writing during this quarantine period. The last one, however, was written last year.

Word count: 2,300 + words 

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I. Inspired by an Instagram post that speculated Doyoung is dating someone, and I'm sorry I couldn't remember the exact post

It didn’t take long for Essie to figure out that Doyoung was dating someone.

Not that she liked him to that extent, but she felt that he had a lighter aura around him. He was usually sulky with his arms crossed over his chest, looking at everything with disdain. Although once you get to know him, he is far from what he shows in public.

This time though, he smiled and laughed more. He wasn’t shy to show off his gummy smile, which was one of the things his fans love about him.

“Yeah, Essie. I am seeing someone,” he told her while they waited for Johnny to pick up their orders at Starbucks. It has become a ritual for the three friends to hang out at the famous coffee shop after their schedules. Essie feigned shock by mouthing an ‘O’ and placing a hand over the edge of her lips. “Really now,” she replied, her eyes scanning for their friend still waiting on the counter.  

“Yeah, believe it or not. I never thought I’d end up dating,” Doyoung chuckled, playing with the hem of his sleeves. He wore an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of slim-fitting jeans, looking like every girl’s boyfriend. “Congratulations, dude,” she shook his hand, which he took gratuitously. “Thank you, Ms. Park, I hope you do end up dating someone soon,” he replied, tightening his hold on her hand.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Kim Dongyoung?” She raised an eyebrow at him before retracting her hand from his grip.

It was good timing for Johnny to enter the scene with their drinks. “One hot green tea for you,” he handed Doyoung his beverage, “and a sickeningly sweet White Chocolate Mocha for this girl,” he rolled his eyes at Essie who stuck her tongue out in response before grabbing the drink from him. “Okay then, we’ve got all our drinks. How’s everyone doing?” The Korean-American glanced at them both before slurping on his iced Americano noisily.

“He told me he’s seeing someone,” the only girl in the table said, pointing her finger at Doyoung. “Oh, you only told her now, dude?” Johnny’s eyes widened at her statement. “Yeah, it’s not as if I’ve told everyone of this already,” the younger guy mumbled, blowing off the steam that came from his cup.

“Who else knows of this status change, Doyoung?” Essie asked, wrapping a tissue around her drink before sipping on it. “Well, all the band members and you.” He sighed in relief when there was no more steam coming from his drink.

“Okay then…but why do you think I should date someone soon?” She brought back the question that he hoped she would forget.

“You told her that?” Johnny acted as the audience to their conversation, his over-the-top reactions eliciting some looks from other tables.

“I mean, you’re a great girl, you get along well with guys, and I’m sure one of us probably has a crush on you,” Doyoung’s response caught the two off guard. Essie’s face flushed to the point that she had to sip on her drink to cool her down. Johnny, on the other hand, coughed into his drink and looked away from his tablemates.

“Dude, is that for real? One of you likes me that way?” The girl almost choked on her question after she recovered from her momentary shame.

“Yeah, that’s what I think. One of us likes you a lot. As in. I can feel it…” Doyoung glanced at his hyung carefully, who buried his face in his hands in embarrassment. “Oh, stop it Kim Dongyoung!” Johnny whined, making his friends laugh.

Of course, Doyoung knows that Johnny likes Essie. He was the first to know of his feelings toward the girl, and the more the three of them hung out, he noticed how sweeter and kinder he is to her (than to him).

That does not mean that he dated someone so he could get ahead of the two, who he thought were moments away from admitting to each other. Unfortunately, it took them weeks before they got together. He dated because he felt that this girl that he met was perfect for him, and the girl felt the same. He happened to be in a good place at a good time. He wished that his friends would get together soon because he might not take the tension they sometimes had.

Essie, during this time, was still unsure of her feelings for Johnny. They became close over a short period and sometimes, she feared that they could end their friendship in the same way. She didn’t want to ruin their dynamic since she thought that they were doing fine as it is. Although she felt tempted to touch or kiss him in return, she had to fight it because she didn’t want history to repeat itself. Some of the guys that she liked disappeared because she would reciprocate their sweet gestures, when in fact, they didn’t like it. That was a confusing period in her life, which she didn’t want to bring back.

Johnny is both similar and dissimilar to Essie. They are similar in the sense that they didn’t want to ruin their friendship. They are dissimilar because he is sure of his feelings for her while she is still contemplating on it. He wasn’t shy to show how affectionate he can be – he held her hand, wiped away excess food or smudged lipstick from her face, hugged her often, and even kissed her on the forehead or cheek. He wanted her to pick up on his actions, hoping that she would feel the same as him. There were instances that he saw (or felt) it, but most of the time he saw her struggling. He feared that struggle might lead to the termination of their friendship, which was one of the things he feared in life. He’s that whipped for her, man.

As the three regained their momentum and talked about their day, their eyes told of different stories. Doyoung was observant as always, still betting on the possibility they’ll confess to each other before the month ends (and hoping to win against Haechan and Taeil). Essie looked at each guy dreamily, wondering how the former was with his girlfriend and how Johnny will be with his future partner. Johnny’s honey eyes were focused on Essie, who he caught looking at him longingly. When he winked at her, she slapped his arm and flipped him the bird. Their tablemate laughed at their interaction, his mind thinking of ways on how he can get the two to admit their feelings sooner.

\\\

II. Inspired by Johnny's claim on NNN that he’s good at giving massages

“I’m so tired,” Essie grumbled one night after having dinner with Johnny. The two housemates hung out at the couch, still thinking on how to cap off the week. Tomorrow was a Saturday, which meant they could sleep in as long as they wanted. “Do you want to rest now?” Johnny asked, looking up briefly from his phone. The girl shook her head and buried herself deeper into the couch. “My back hurts since Wednesday. I have one of those things you sit on to help with your back, but I don’t think it’s helping at all,” she said, massaging the part of her back that she could reach with one hand.

“Oh, would you like a massage?” His eyes lightened up at his suggestion as he almost jumped on her part of the couch. “I’m great at giving massages,” he bragged, “and if you’re not convinced, you can ask Eomma about it.”

Essie raised an eyebrow at him. “You want me to text your mom about your massage skills? Hey, I trust you enough to give me a good one. So, get into it,” she grabbed his phone to place it on the coffee table and stuck her tongue at him.

“But I suggest you take a shower first, so after I give you a massage, you’ll have a good night’s sleep.” His advice was taken well by his subject, who now stood up to retrieve her towel from her bedroom. “And before I forget, do you have any essential oil you prefer?”

“Lavender, please. I want to sleep well after this hellish week. Thank you,” With that, Essie disappeared into the bathroom to wash away some of her stresses.

\\\

She returned to the sofa in her pajamas while Johnny changed into a muscle shirt and boxer shorts. “Ready for your massage, madame?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh, John! Please don’t give me any ideas!” She retorted, her face flushing with the wink he just gave her. “But yes, I am ready for my massage, monsieur.” She positioned herself on the sofa with her back facing him.

“Do you mind if I…” His hands slid over the edge of her pajama top, and she gave him a thumbs-up. “Okay, baby, if that’s what you say,” he mumbled as he raised her shirt just below her bust line.

“Thank you for offering to do this, Johnny,” she said, her voice muffled by the pillow beneath her.

“Anything for my cute but grumpy housemate,” he said cheerily before coating his hands with essential oil. “Get ready to experience my magic.”

\\\

After massaging her back for thirty minutes, Essie fell asleep. Johnny sensed it when he heard her softly snoring and caught her with her mouth a bit open. “A few minutes from now, she’s going to drool on that pillow,” he said softly before snickering.

“My princess, I’ll just be here on the other couch and watch over you,” he continued in the same tone before plopping carelessly on the seat across hers.

“Okay, thanks. Love you,” she mumbled, burying her face deeper into the pillow.

He tried his best to contain his laughter (and giddiness with what he heard) by biting his lip. “Love you too,” he replied loud enough for her to hear. When he didn’t hear anything else other than her soft snoring, he took out his phone and opened his Notes app to type out his thoughts.

I can’t help but fall in love with her more. I never know what to expect from her, and it makes life interesting. I hope she feels the same way, or else I don’t know what to do with myself.

\\\

III. Inspired by his stint in Lipstick Prince

“Can I do your makeup, Essie?” Johnny’s question startled the girl, who just finished putting on her primer.

The six-footer barged into her room as she was getting dressed. Good thing she wore a bathrobe – she was usually naked or in her underwear when she did her makeup.

“Come again?” She raised an unmade eyebrow at him, hoping she wasn’t hearing things. “I want to do your makeup!” His voice sounded girlish, and he also did a cute pose to convince her further.

“What for? Do you want to film a challenge with my face?” Essie sounded annoyed at the thought of being used for his videos.

“No, it’s not that! But maybe someday,” he coughed over that last part, “but now, I just want to. I feel like doing someone’s face.”

“Why not do it on your face then?” The girl was feeling snappy now as she searched for her brow pen in a pink cup.

“But I don’t have that much makeup, baby. Please, let me do your face!” He whined. She shot him a glare, which he replied by kneeling in front of her. “I am confident that you’ll like what I’ll do.”

“Is that so? Fine, let’s get it.” She twirled her chair in front of him and even spread her arms to show her compliance.

He rubbed his hands excitedly as he approached her. “But first, where are we going?”

“I’m going to have some tea time with my friends,” she deadpanned. “I’m wearing that dress,” she pointed at a forest green dress with a delicate flower print, “and those shoes.”

Johnny gasped when she pointed at the pair of black velvet ankle boots beside her hamper. “Very Stevie Nicks in the fall, baby. I love it!” He clapped his hands together in excitement and looked at the items on her dresser. “So, should I start now?”

“Yeah, you should. I only have,” Essie glanced at her watch, “45 minutes left before I need to get going. So please, do my face now.” She patted her cheeks for emphasis, and he gave her a salute before he got busy pulling out her drawers for makeup to use.

\\\

Essie was impressed with his work. Sure, he was no pro, and she helped him out a bit, but he did a great job with her eyeliner.

“You know I suck doing my eyes,” she said, admiring the thick cat eyeliner he created. “But you made me look like I’ve got my shit together. Merci beaucoup!”

He laughed at her comment as he observed his work again. They decided to do dramatic eyes with a minimal lip, as well as a dewy but flawless base.

“Thank you too that you trusted me to do your face today, baby,” he said, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “I did 75% of the job anyway,” she muttered, making the guy huff in front of the mirror.

“But it’s the thought that counts! At least I can do makeup for you…”

“Or for any girl, really. I’m not the only one you can do this too, you know.”

“But I want it to be only you.”

The two stared at each other in the mirror, Johnny’s arms still wrapped around her.

“I’m not your doll, John. And don’t even say that I look like one.”

He sighed in defeat and let go of her. “Fine. But my sentiments remain the same.”

She was unsure of how to continue this conversation further, so she checked her phone on the table. “Okay, I have 10 minutes left to get dressed, so Johnny, please step out of the room now.” She shooed him with her hand, which he rolled his eyes at.

“How are you getting there?”

“I’m taking Uber or Lyft, whichever’s cheaper.”

“Let me drive you there. Please?” This time, he didn’t have to use a cutesy voice to persuade her.

“Okay, that’s one offer I won’t resist,” she smiled briefly before it was replaced with a scowl a second later. “Now, please let me get dressed.”

–––

FIN

The Model and The Stylist

Hello there! Finally, my first story post! Sorry for the delay, but I was busy with work as always, and I was feeling down for the past couple of days. Anyway, I decided to share this first because your boy’s been getting a lot of exposure lately – modeling, that is. That W Korea May 2020 editorial with Jaehyun is so divine that your girl pre-ordered her copy even if it will take her maybe until the end of the year to get it. See that GIF? Damn! 

This story was based on the story of one of my characters in my original story written ages ago for a friend, and I’m glad that something came out of it now. 

You’ll also get to meet Essie Park now, my Y/N that got a name. I might still post my first stories with Y/N in it, so look out for that. I hope you’ll enjoy and let me know what scenarios you’d like me to write about. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)  

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Summary: Let’s keep it simple: this is an AU where OC is a fashion editor/stylist, and Johnny is a model. 

Word count: 1,600 + words 

Genre: Romance, Comedy 

Warning: It’s so fluffy and cheesy, you might as well think you’re munching on cheese popcorn. But I think this is my specialty so...yeah. 

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Essie decided that from this day onward, she would make Johnny’s life a living hell. 

He was one of the most uncooperative models she has ever met – he didn’t bring what was needed, didn’t arrive on time, and didn’t listen to her instructions. 

Even though she was a fashion assistant at the magazine she was working for, he didn’t give her the respect she needed for her job. 

Instead, he bossed her around – asking her to buy him Starbucks, charge his gadgets, and even get him a top that he could use to his next event. 

“Cheska, I need more coffee. Can you buy me another iced Americano, please? With more hazelnut syrup too,” he ordered with that sickeningly sweet tone of his. 

“My name is not Cheska!” she roared before storming out of the set. She wasn’t even halfway through the shoot and he had already worked her like his slave. 

When she got inside the coffee shop, she went on autopilot and ordered his drink of choice. As she stepped out with the drink on hand, she slapped her forehead in annoyance. “I should’ve tampered with his drink to get even with him!” She grumbled, staring at the iced drink in disdain. “Unless…” Her thoughts led her to some of the cruelest pranks she has seen until she figured out what she can do with his coffee. 

Once back on set, she decided to do the classic prank: accidentally throw the drink all over him. It was a good thing that he was still wearing his regular clothes or else she’ll pay the price for damaging designer goods. She couldn’t help but smile evilly at his drenched figure. He was wearing an all-white outfit and she felt satisfied knowing it has turned into a brown mess. 

She might be celebrating a small victory now, but Johnny won’t let her get away with it. 

He swore as well that he would make Essie’s life a living hell. 

\\\

Unfortunately, they worked with each other again. And again. Even Essie’s side projects with her friends in the creative industry. 

Johnny was always the available model who was game to do experimental shoots. 

The two tried their best to downplay their pranks – Essie once poked him a couple of times with safety pins as she adjusted the excess fabric of his clothes. He wouldn’t stay put, which made her more intent to push the pins deeper into his skin. 

“Don’t you even dare try, you cocky bastard,” she grumbled, purposely poking his sides with the pin. 

“I could file a complaint against you,” he whispered in her ear, making the hairs behind her neck stand. He was dangerously close to her, and she noticed that he was about to wrap an arm around her waist. 

“You think I’m scared? I’m not,” She gently pushed him away from her as she locked the pin in place. 

“I’ll make you,” he responded, gripping her arm. “But now, I won’t because I look good in this outfit you picked.” He admired the work she did in front of the full-length mirror and she rolled her eyes in response. 

There was a time that Johnny always set the cable of one of the camera lights for Essie to trip on. He would deliberately stretch his legs to do so or even use his hand to place it to where she’ll be coming from. 

The girl tripped a couple of times and didn’t mind it at first. But when she noticed him sniggering after her fifth trip, that’s when she realized he was behind this. Essie stormed towards him and glared daggers at him.

“You think this is funny, Suh?” she muttered, folding her arms over her chest. He nodded, trying his best not to laugh. “You’re such an immature brat,” were the last words she said before she walked over the cable and glared at him once again. 

\\\

Over time, Essie and Johnny decided to call their feud a truce. It took some mental toll on the girl to prank him. She was already tired from the demands of her job and she had to think of ways on how to make his life as miserable as she could.

The same could be said for him – he was getting more projects now that he has become popular. In fact, he is slowly dabbling into the entertainment industry as a budding actor. 

Since both of them were close to her friends in the industry, they met each other again for dinner. 

It was during this moment that they got to know each other better – they were so similar that their friends thought they were perfect for each other. 

“I think you two should date,” Kibum, a fashion stylist, suggested. “As much as it pains me to admit this, but yes, you two should definitely go out,” Ten, a jewelry designer, agreed. 

Ten and Johnny were the closest in the group and sometimes Essie teased them about their skinship. 

The two subjects looked at each other disbelievingly before bursting into laughter. 

“Seriously guys?” Johnny and Essie asked the people on their table, who nodded in unison. 

Eventually, they would eat their words after a heated argument on another shoot. 

“You are so annoying, Suh! Why can’t you just give me the respect I deserve?” Essie was on the verge of tears, frustrated at how uncooperative Johnny was on set. 

It felt like they were back to square one. The 6-footer would boss her around and give mean comments about the outfits that she chose. “I look like a firefighter in that, and I mean that in a bad way,” he wrinkled his nose in disgust at the red and yellow outfit she chose. 

“That was the instruction from the style sheet, dude. Get over it. You’ve worn much weirder things than this,” Essie was losing her patience as she shoved the outfit in his hands. 

“But you could’ve done better,” he said matter-of-factly, gazing into her brown eyes. “You’re already known for your work but you settled for this mediocrity,” Johnny eyed the outfit in disgust. 

“Ugh! I’ve had it with you!” The girl screamed, earning the looks of the crew as she exited the studio. 

She thought they were already on good terms. They’ve been hanging out a lot more after work – opting to watch the last showing of movies, drinking coffee at 3 in the morning, and even driving around until the wee hours of the morning while listening to the latest album releases. 

Essie felt her heart ache when he treated her like a slave again. The tears rolled down her cheeks and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. She had the urge to smoke but remembered that her kit was inside her bag. 

She was about to return to the studio but he was already there, looking apologetic. 

“What do you want, Suh?” She asked harshly, not looking at his face.

“Hey, I’m sorry for what I said earlier,” he started, walking closer to her. She saw his feet approach her and before she could back away, he already held her wrists. 

“I didn’t mean to upset you, but I mean it when I said that you could’ve done better.” 

She looked at him with all the rage she could muster, even if tears were threatening to spill on her face again.

“Why can’t you just say it like a normal person?” Essie was already sniffing. 

“Because it is never simple with us,” he said softly, now leaning closer to her face. “We always complicate things even if we shouldn’t.”

“Then why don’t we just–––” She was cut off when he kissed her. 

Time slowed as they kissed under the starry sky. It wasn’t as romantic as Essie wanted it to be – they were outside the studio where the air was polluted with smoke and rubbish was almost everywhere. 

When they broke apart, Johnny pulled her closer to him. “Let’s just simplify things. I’ve been attracted to you from the start, Ms. Park,” he said, tilting her chin so she could look at him. 

“You stole the words right out of my mouth, Mr. Suh,” she replied, a grin spreading across her face. “But not the attraction part. I thought you were a big piece of poo,” she stuck out her tongue at him and he pinched her side in response. 

“I admit that seeing you mad was cute but not all the time. You can be scary too, you know,” he said, looping both arms around her waist. 

“Well duh! Is there anyone who isn’t scary when they’re mad?”

Johnny just laughed and squeezed her. “I just want us to be together. Our friends were right – we are perfect for each other,” he looked down on her with the gentlest smile on his face.

Essie felt her cheeks flush and looked away from him. “So what are you going to do about this?” 

“I’m going to tell everyone that we’re dating now.” With those words, he led her back into the studio and announced to everyone that they were dating. 

The crew was overjoyed when they heard this – one of them screamed ‘Finally!’ with all his might. Essie’s boss ordered a giant pizza enough to feed them for days and the photographer got three cases of beer. 

It may seem like another day in the life of a fashion editor and a model wrapping up another all-nighter shoot, but for Johnny and Essie, today was the day they finally came to their senses and became the most adorable (if not sometimes obnoxious) couple the world has ever seen.

–––

FIN

A Preface on What’s to Come

So I’m writing this almost a month since my home country declared a community quarantine (which has now become enhanced and will last until the end of the month) due to the current pandemic. I could’ve done this earlier, but given how everything felt (and still is) chaotic about the situation, I had to prioritize some things and compose myself first before coming here.

Now that’s out of the way, I am writing this to serve as an introduction to what’s going to unfold in this blog a few days (or weeks) from now. I don’t want you, my dear reader, to go into this blindly, so this primer will consist of three parts that I advise you read first before I get to post my fics. Without further ado…

I.  Why I Stan Who I Stan, aka Why I Love Johnny Suh

He wouldn’t be the name of this blog if I didn’t love him, right? But he wasn’t my first bias in the group at all. So let me take you back to the beginning, which was in late 2019 where I rediscovered SHINee. I was already in a nostalgic kick then, listening to my anime soundtracks and J-Pop a few weeks earlier. When I saw my friend and officemate’s SHINee compilation in her hard drive, I had to copy it since I think I’m ready to listen to them again. I don’t know if other Shawols experienced this but it felt painful to listen to the group after Jonghyun passed away. Although the rest of the boys still carried on in making more music, it took me until last year to fully move on.

Anyway, listening to SHINee led me to rediscover and love K-pop again. I became immersed in Taemin’s solo work – yes, I am almost three years late to MOVE but I would still love to perfect its choreography – and it was love at first listen to KEY’s solo album. After all, they were my next two biases after Jonghyun.

Since their solo works were not enough to satiate my K-pop hunger, I learned that Taemin was going to be a part of Super M and that opened more boy groups to me. I learned of EXO (I pretty much ignored them when I was in college because I am pretty loyal to SHINee and Super Junior at the time) and NCT because of this supergroup that was going to debut in the States pretty soon. I even set my alarm to watch their debut stage in LA on YouTube because I’m that excited for them!

So at first, Mark was my bias in NCT, followed by Ten. If you concluded that I have a thing for English speakers, then yes, maybe that’s the case why they appealed to me more than the others (except Taemin, of course, he will always be my favorite). Then one thing led to another, which means I fell into an NCT hole of watching their videos on YouTube. One of the first ones I watched was their Buzzfeed interview and Johnny’s humor struck me the most. I watched more, and then I realized that hey, I want to be friends with this guy; I think we’ll get along well.

Since I only have my childhood best friend to talk to about my renewed K-pop obsession, I told her I was going to write fics again. Being the supportive person that she is, she read them and commented on them once she was done. And yes, I am going to share those with you and I hope you’ll let me know what you think about them.

There was a line in one fic that caught her attention, prompting me to write about the character and Johnny being best friends who eventually fall in love with each other. I took on her challenge, and the more that I wrote, the more that I fell for him. I watched more videos of him too so I would be more inspired to write. That worked since I was able to write a fic (or two!) every day while I didn’t do anything at work.

I don’t want to call it a slow burn because I knew it took me a couple of weeks to fully fall for Johnny. Let’s just say he grew on me in a short period and you’ll read more about that in the fics to come.

So as early as now, I’m going to warn you guys that most of my fics will have lengthy introductions too because I like to explain myself a lot.

II.   When Y/N Gets a Real Name

The first fics I wrote started with just Y/N. My childhood best friend, who continues to serve as my audience, didn’t mind it initially but then gave me the suggestion to give Y/N a name. She added that a play on my name would be nice and Y/N eventually became Essie. Since I go by J here, I’ll leave you to assume what my real name is which will eventually be revealed anyway since that’s her real name too.

You may also assume that the fics are a manifestation of my delulu dreams and let’s be honest here – aren’t most, if not all, fics that way? Especially when there’s Y/N involved, don’t you agree? Since I have been writing these fics for almost six months now, Essie has developed into a character of mine that is similar to me and at the same time, an annoying person who irks me sometimes. I’ll get around to that but for now, I feel she is more than just a projection of a fangirl’s deepest, darkest desires.

I hope you won’t mind if she is the subject of affection for the fics unless stated. But for now, she’s had her way with the boys – and yes, the fics aren’t all about her and Johnny.  

P.S. My childhood best friend was one of the first characters to have a name in my fics and it’s also one of Kai’s many nicknames. If you are a true EXO-L, then you’d know that in a heartbeat. I find it cute because that’s also one of her many nicknames and her bias in the group is Kai, so…I live to please.

III. Purpose and Other Things You Need to Know About This Blog

The main purpose why I put up this blog is to share my works with everyone. I just don’t want to be limited to my childhood best friend, you know?

And to be honest, I have written for a lot of fandoms but my fics never got to see the light until now. I don’t know why I suddenly feel so confident to share them this time but I hope that they will make you feel things – whether that’s happy, sad, giddy, loved, or whatever – and you can let me know what you think. I would appreciate it if you can give constructive criticism, and of course, I would love it if you’ll share your favorite parts. I often re-read my fics for inspiration and most of the time, they crack me up because I would have never thought to write something about this or that.

This is also not strictly a Johnny and Essie blog since it will also feature other K-pop groups that I am a fan of. In short, expect appearances from other SM Entertainment boy groups as well. Johnny and Essie aren’t the only pairings here since I also love other NCT members but not as much as I love my gentle giant. Since you already know my first bias, then you’ll get to read about my bias wrecker soon.

The fics are also not in chronological order because I don’t work that way. I write what I think of and things build up from there. So if I post something about Johnny and Essie being friends on one day and then have them as a couple in the next, don’t be surprised. Maybe once all scenarios have been written, then I can piece them in proper order.

I may not be able to update daily because I have to focus on my day job first. But I will still try my best to post here as often as I could and interact with you guys.

So if you have further questions that you think I have not covered, then let me know through the comments.

Here’s to a fluffy, cheesy, and sometimes smutty reading experience!

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

Love Song

To soften the blow of the previous post, here’s a fluffy one-shot guaranteed to make you feel warm in this rainy weather. Well, if you also come from where I am though – ingat tayo, mga kaibigan!

Grab a mug of your preferred hot beverage, and cozy up to this piece inspired by my favorite song from Neo Zone! 

Too bad there’s no GIF for that though, so please enjoy this aesthetically-pleasing one of what you should do right now. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

POV: 3rd person since this is part of my recent writing before coronavirus made us its prisoners.

Word count: 1,200 + words 

Warning: This is fluffy as hell, and this is a Johnny/Essie piece before they got together. 

Recommended listening: Do I even need to say it? Stream Love Song, you guys! I repeated it over and over until I finished writing this. 

–––

Who would’ve thought that sharing an umbrella would spark something between two friends?

It was already the rainy season, and Johnny hated it. He didn’t like lugging around an umbrella, which he thought added unnecessary weight to his bag. He’d rather wear a cap instead, but knew that wouldn’t do anything to protect him from even the lightest of rains.

Essie, on the other hand, was alright with it. She was used to constant rains since it was the only other season she had in her home country. She was always equipped with a small umbrella inside her bag, and if the weather forecast reported that there would be heavy rains, she stuffed her parka into it as well.

The two were about to meet for their usual Starbucks hangout, but then it suddenly rained hard. Johnny groaned at how unfortunate this was, frowning at the large droplets that decorated his window.

Oh man, it’s raining. I hate it, he texted Essie, leaning against the wall and looking at the dreary landscape outside his apartment with disdain.

Aw, it’s fine. Just wear your raincoat and bring an umbrella. And don’t forget to waterproof your stuff too, just in case, was her reply a few seconds later, making him groan louder.

This woke up his roommate Mark, who was sleeping on the sofa. “Hey, what’s up, hyung?”

“Hey Mark, it’s raining. Essie and I are supposed to meet at Starbucks today,” Johnny replied, pointing to the window with his thumb.

“No wonder I feel like sleeping some more,” the younger guy mumbled, lying down on the couch again and wrapping himself in the thick blanket by his foot.

“Ugh, this sucks. I can’t stand the rain,” the older guy whispered to no one in particular, staring at his window until the rain started to calm down.

///

After a few more text exchanges, Essie decided to pick up Johnny at his apartment. You’re a big guy yet you can’t handle the rain, she messaged him, her annoyance evident in her tone.

Hey, what’s it to you? I really don’t like it, babe. I’m sorry I have to make you do this, but I promise, I’ll return the favor tenfold, he replied, rolling his eyes at how irate she sounded in her message.

Well, have you experienced getting your home flooded? I would get it if you have trauma because of that, but never mind. I’m already on my way, was her last message which he didn’t have anything to say back.

He has read the news that it is common for her home country to get flash floods during the monsoon season, which made him wonder if her house there has indeed been flooded before.

///

Essie arrived a few minutes past 2 p.m. and was completely dry (and cozy) in her olive green parka. She gave Johnny a silent wave once he opened the door.  

“Hey, baby,” he pulled her a bit closer to him and kissed the top of her head. “Thanks for doing this. I’ll make it up to you,” he hooked one arm around her waist and closed the small gap between them.

“Uh, thanks,” she mumbled, leaning her cheek against his shoulder. “But we better get a move on. The rain might get stronger soon..” She pried herself off him and took out the umbrella that she stuffed on the exterior pocket of her jacket.

When she opened it, Johnny laughed. “Essie, how will we fit in that?” The girl’s umbrella was good for one person, cramming two would result in one’s shoulders getting drenched.

“That’s why I said you should wear your parka,” she sighed, stepping away from his doorway. “Let’s go, Mr. Suh.”

///

Usually, it took them 10 to 15 minutes to walk to the nearest Starbucks. However, since it was raining, it felt like forever.

Essie insisted to be the one to hold the umbrella, despite hitting Johnny’s head numerous times with it. “Baby, please,” he grumbled, “let me hold the freaking umbrella. You know I can definitely cover both our heads with it without injuring the other.”

“This is part of my service to you, sir,” she replied, accidentally hitting his head again with the umbrella. “Sorry about that!” She giggled at the sight of her companion rubbing his head and making faces on how it hurt.

If he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t hurt by the times she hit his head repeatedly. He was enjoying every time their shoulders bumped into each other as they walked. He pretended to be hurt initially, but when he didn’t get a reaction from her, he let it slide and watched her intently as she held the umbrella as high as she could without losing her focus on the road.

If one of his shoulders kept hitting hers, the other was soaked. He was glad that he followed her advice and wore his parka. Although he felt cold on the outside because of his damp shoulder, his insides felt warm because of their proximity.

He wanted to slip his free hand into hers and give it a gentle squeeze as a way to show his appreciation. He was able to do so when Essie walked a bit too early for the pedestrian light to go green and was about to be hit by a motorcycle. He pulled her toward him before something bad happened, and both looked at each other in shock.

“Essie, be careful please,” he said softly while squeezing her hand.

“I’m sorry, John,” she replied in the same manner, her hand still in his.

As the pedestrian light went green, the two never let go of the other’s hand. Once they reached the other side, Johnny plucked the umbrella from Essie’s grip and held it. “Now let me, please,” he said, earning the nod of his friend.

They walked in silence toward Starbucks, which was only a few meters away. Both processed what just happened, and to an outsider’s perspective, their cheeks (and ears) were flushed.

Johnny thought that he was starting to like the rain better, minus the part that his best friend and secret crush was about to be hit by a motorcycle. Essie was convinced that sharing umbrellas can be a sweet (and cute) way for people to get together. Not that she’s expecting Johnny to court her soon, but she felt something in the way he held her hand when he pulled her toward him.

She took a glance at him, and he caught her. “Yes, baby?” He asked, flashing him a smile that made her cold heart warm.

“Thanks for, you know, saving me,” she said in a small voice before looking away. She felt her ears were burning at how flustered she was.

“Aw, no problem. You know I’ve always got your back,” his hand that held hers now moved around her waist and pulled her close to him. “And now we’re here.”

Both looked up at the logo of Starbucks above the door, and Essie got the umbrella from his other hand to close it. Johnny opened the door once that was done, and they took refuge in the warmth that their favorite coffee shop had to offer.

–––

FIN

Conflicted

So, I never thought that it would come to this. I do not tolerate this action due to family history, but I don’t know what came over me. Maybe I was overpowered by this guy’s charms that I just had to write something like this. 

To know more what I’m talking about, read on. I won’t even give a summary because I want you guys to know what’s up with this. 

And here’s the devil, erm, Jeong Jaehyun looking like a full-course meal even if he’s just serving face to hype you up. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

POV: 2nd person still. 

Word count: 1,900 + words 

Genre: Romance, with a dash of fluff and a bit of angst. A well-balanced meal, if I should say so myself. 

Warning: Read until the bottom of this page, and you’ll get what you’re going to read, maybe next post or some other time. 

–––

You felt conflicted whenever Jaehyun was near you.

Although he was your boyfriend’s ex-roommate, there were times that he would hang out at your apartment to catch up with him.

After all, they used to work together as radio DJs. They had a nightly program that you always tuned to before. You and Johnny were still best friends then, and you know you would be frustrated if he still had his program now that you’re together. You two won’t have the time to cuddle, because he would be working and you would wake up with him asleep on the couch.

As you watched Johnny and Jaehyun converse at the dining table, you couldn’t help but observe the younger guy. He was a Disney prince in real life – creamy white skin, immaculately dressed, and with great hair to boot. He also had a beautiful voice that everyone, regardless of age and gender, would fall for.

Those reasons made you feel weird because you’re already in a relationship with one of the most handsome men you know, but at the same time, you couldn’t keep your eyes off him sometimes.

Why am I even thinking of this? You thought as you tied your hair up in a bun to focus on your sideline. It has been a hot minute since you edited textbooks, and sometimes they amused you because some manuscripts contained hilarious content from idiotic authors.

You were already halfway editing the textbook when you felt someone tap your shoulder. You turned around to see Jaehyun, smiling with his adorable dimples on display.

“Hi Essie, it’s time to eat,” he said gently before he went back to the dining table. You followed suit since you didn’t say no to an invitation to eat. You saw that the guys prepared Korean barbecue, which you have been craving as of late.

“Wow, samgyupsal! I missed this!” You cooed, eyeing all the side dishes that you haven’t eaten in months. “I know you’ve been craving for this, baby. I hear you looking for samgyupsal in your sleep,” Johnny said, eliciting a chuckle from Jaehyun.

You glared at your boyfriend who just gave you a heart sign and winked when you raised your fist at him. Your guest was laughing at your interaction, entertained how one of his best friends bantered with his girlfriend.

As the three of you dug in, you talked about everything – from the weather, your music playlists (to be honest, you liked Jaehyun’s taste more than Johnny’s), your upcoming plans, and even your relationships.

“Uh, can someone please pass me the kimchi?” You asked, your hand trying to reach the bowl of said food across the table. It was Jaehyun who handed you the bowl, and you almost dropped it when your fingers touched.

“Sorry,” you both muttered, giving timid looks at each other. Johnny noticed your interaction and raised his eyebrows.

“Babe, what’s this? You’re shy of Jeong Jaehyun?” He asked, even stamping his feet for effect. You could tell that he was both curious and annoyed – curious that you felt that way and annoyed that maybe your feelings for him weren’t that strong as he thought.  

“B-but…” you started, your eyes meeting Jaehyun’s for a moment before you turned to your boyfriend. “He’s too handsome, just like you…” Your voice was so soft that you felt you were the only one who heard it.

There was a moment of silence before Jaehyun cleared his throat. You and Johnny looked at him, which made him flustered. His ears were practically red now.  

“Baby, I know he’s too handsome for this world, but I hope you’re not falling for him,” Johnny said monotonously, trying his best not to sound jealous.

On your part, you appreciated his honesty. That was one of the things you loved about him – his brutally frank comments helped you with your problems most of the time.

However, you also enjoyed how he seemed jealous of your budding crush on his friend, who now covered his face with his hands. “Please stop looking at me,” Jaehyun mumbled while peeking from the small spaces in between his fingers.

“Of course not, darling! You’re still my number one,” your attention was directed to Johnny this time, “but I have to be honest that Jaehyun is such a stunner that I can’t help but look at him sometimes,” you ended by taking a glance at the guy on your right.

The nerve of this guy to wink at you at this moment! You felt your body heat up at this, and you clenched your utensils tightly to fight it off.

“Jaaaaay! Don’t make her fall in love with you! She should be in love with me, and only me!” Johnny was whining like a baby, and the tension that enveloped the table earlier vanished.

You and Jaehyun laughed at how the 6-footer was acting. “Don’t worry, she won’t. Right, Essie? You’ll try your best not to fall in love with me?” The prince-like guy gave you another wink again and blew you a brief kiss.

You laughed in return, flushing red at the attention you were getting. “Hey, you’re totally trying to steal her from me!” Johnny quipped, whose long arm grabbed your wrist so you can focus your attention on him.

“I’m the only one you love, right?” He changed his voice to a sultry one and he gave you The Look. You felt your heart flutter and your insides became warmer. Ah, he still got you every time he did that.

“Yes, honey,” you murmured, shyly looking at his face. “You’re the one that I love.”

Jaehyun began to sing Shania Twain’s ‘You’re Still The One’, and Johnny followed suit. Then all of you sang the song until the end and burst into laughter at how funny (and flirty) you felt for the past few minutes.

After eating, Johnny had to take care of some errands, leaving you and Jaehyun alone in the apartment. “Don’t you even dare, Jeong Yoon-oh,” your boyfriend threatened, which you and your companion did not take seriously. “Don’t try to do anything to my girl,” were his last words before he left the house.

\\\

If there was one word to describe your situation after Johnny left, it was awkward.

You were seated on the end of the couch with a pillow on your stomach as you busily scrolled through your social media feed. On the opposite end was Jaehyun, who was also doing the same.

You could hear the videos he was playing, and you bet he could hear you mutter something under your breath. That was one quirk of yours whenever you scrolled through your Twitter feed – you had to comment on people’s tweets audibly first before responding to them on the app.

“You’re such a hoe, bitch,” you mumbled as you also typed it as your response. You were commenting on Ten’s latest post, which was an outtake on one of his shoots. He looked like a Renaissance painting that came to life with his velvet suit, silk ruffled shirt, and jeweled shoes.

“Who’s a hoe, Essie?” Jaehyun asked, melting you with his stare.

“It’s definitely not you!” You responded, cheeks red from embarrassment. You didn’t mean for him to hear your comment – you made a mental note to correct your quirk, so people don’t question you.

He laughed at your reaction and moved closer to where you were seated. “Then who are you calling a hoe then?”

You leaned back against the couch, hoping that there will be more space you could back out into. “It’s only Ten that I call as such, and it’s our thing,” you said, raising your phone to your face to cover how flushed it was.

“Really? You and Ten have a thing? Does Johnny know of this?” With every word he spoke, he moved closer to you.

“Not like that, dude! Ten’s one of my closest friends now. And you know he won't do something that will make Johnny angry, right?”

This stopped Jaehyun from approaching you, and it was his time to lean back on the sofa. “Oh, is that so?” he rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

When you thought that he was done from crawling toward you, he surprised you when he wrapped his arms around your waist.

You squealed as he tickled you on the sides, on your knee, and his hands crept up on your neck.

“Jaaaaaay! Stop that!” You said in between panting, getting tired from laughing. You were pushing him away, but he easily overpowered you with his strength.

“No, Essie, I don’t want to! Say the magic word,” he said while staring at you with all his might.

Time slowed, and you took in how intent he was on making you say the magic word – what was it, anyway?

“Please?” You breathed, returning the stare he gave you. “Please, darling,” you tried again, your voice breathier than usual.

He loosened his hold on you, but he didn’t let go. “Do I need to repeat myself?” You asked, your hands ready to untangle yourself from him.

“Darling, you make me feel conflicted,” he said with the most painful expression on his face. It was a mixture of sadness and struggle, a combination that was indeed painful to see on anyone.

“Are you for real, Jaehyun?” You raised an eyebrow, hoping it masked how shocked you were with his words. You hoped you sounded scandalized to make him stop what he was doing.

“Essie, I like you. A lot. It pains me that I was never able to make a move on you first,” he said, tilting his body toward yours. He now had a loving expression on his face, making your heart melt.

“But why now?” You could feel the tears pooling at the corner of your eyes.

Come to think of it, Jaehyun was always nice when you hung out with Johnny before. He never teased you – he was actually very sweet and was always on your side. There were times he held your hand, and you let him since you two were good friends.

And how could you forget that he used to kiss your cheek every time you said your farewell? It was not just your cheeks touching – he really pressed his lips lightly on your cheek.

But best friends trump good friends, and eventually, you weren’t able to maintain your closeness once you spent more time with Johnny instead.

“I’m sorry, Essie. I don’t know what to do,” he slowly unhooked his arms on you, “I’m such a fool for coming here. Now I’m confused,” he ran his hands through his hair and looked distressed.

“I’m sorry too, Jay. But if you must know, I like you a lot too,” you said while fiddling with your thumbs.

“Essie, you’re making me more confused,” He sounded annoyed now. “I don’t want to ruin your relationship with John, I know how much he loves you.”

“But does he know that you…like me too?” As much as it made you cringe, you just had to ask him that.

His answer surprised you. “He doesn’t, and I intend to keep it that way.”

This was a plot twist that made your love life more complicated – even though you already have Johnny, you had Mark trying his best to woo you, and now Jaehyun has joined ‘the group chat’, as the kids would say.

“So, what do you plan to do then?” The question came out of your mouth without any thinking, which you now regret.

“Do you want to sin with me?” The way he delivered it sent shivers down your spine. It felt as if you were talking to the devil, only he was clad in a sweater and black jeans.

From that day until the following week, you and Jaehyun had your trysts.

–––

FIN