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the stages.

SUMMARY. The stages of falling in love with your roommate slash best friend, according to Jeong Jaehyun.

GENRE. roommate!au + friends to lovers!au | fluff (lots of it)

WORD COUNT. 2.4k+ words

author’s note. here’s a small, short drabble or whatever this is. hope you enjoy it!

Keep reading

Conflicted

So, I never thought that it would come to this. I do not tolerate this action due to family history, but I don’t know what came over me. Maybe I was overpowered by this guy’s charms that I just had to write something like this. 

To know more what I’m talking about, read on. I won’t even give a summary because I want you guys to know what’s up with this. 

And here’s the devil, erm, Jeong Jaehyun looking like a full-course meal even if he’s just serving face to hype you up. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

POV: 2nd person still. 

Word count: 1,900 + words 

Genre: Romance, with a dash of fluff and a bit of angst. A well-balanced meal, if I should say so myself. 

Warning: Read until the bottom of this page, and you’ll get what you’re going to read, maybe next post or some other time. 

–––

You felt conflicted whenever Jaehyun was near you.

Although he was your boyfriend’s ex-roommate, there were times that he would hang out at your apartment to catch up with him.

After all, they used to work together as radio DJs. They had a nightly program that you always tuned to before. You and Johnny were still best friends then, and you know you would be frustrated if he still had his program now that you’re together. You two won’t have the time to cuddle, because he would be working and you would wake up with him asleep on the couch.

As you watched Johnny and Jaehyun converse at the dining table, you couldn’t help but observe the younger guy. He was a Disney prince in real life – creamy white skin, immaculately dressed, and with great hair to boot. He also had a beautiful voice that everyone, regardless of age and gender, would fall for.

Those reasons made you feel weird because you’re already in a relationship with one of the most handsome men you know, but at the same time, you couldn’t keep your eyes off him sometimes.

Why am I even thinking of this? You thought as you tied your hair up in a bun to focus on your sideline. It has been a hot minute since you edited textbooks, and sometimes they amused you because some manuscripts contained hilarious content from idiotic authors.

You were already halfway editing the textbook when you felt someone tap your shoulder. You turned around to see Jaehyun, smiling with his adorable dimples on display.

“Hi Essie, it’s time to eat,” he said gently before he went back to the dining table. You followed suit since you didn’t say no to an invitation to eat. You saw that the guys prepared Korean barbecue, which you have been craving as of late.

“Wow, samgyupsal! I missed this!” You cooed, eyeing all the side dishes that you haven’t eaten in months. “I know you’ve been craving for this, baby. I hear you looking for samgyupsal in your sleep,” Johnny said, eliciting a chuckle from Jaehyun.

You glared at your boyfriend who just gave you a heart sign and winked when you raised your fist at him. Your guest was laughing at your interaction, entertained how one of his best friends bantered with his girlfriend.

As the three of you dug in, you talked about everything – from the weather, your music playlists (to be honest, you liked Jaehyun’s taste more than Johnny’s), your upcoming plans, and even your relationships.

“Uh, can someone please pass me the kimchi?” You asked, your hand trying to reach the bowl of said food across the table. It was Jaehyun who handed you the bowl, and you almost dropped it when your fingers touched.

“Sorry,” you both muttered, giving timid looks at each other. Johnny noticed your interaction and raised his eyebrows.

“Babe, what’s this? You’re shy of Jeong Jaehyun?” He asked, even stamping his feet for effect. You could tell that he was both curious and annoyed – curious that you felt that way and annoyed that maybe your feelings for him weren’t that strong as he thought.  

“B-but…” you started, your eyes meeting Jaehyun’s for a moment before you turned to your boyfriend. “He’s too handsome, just like you…” Your voice was so soft that you felt you were the only one who heard it.

There was a moment of silence before Jaehyun cleared his throat. You and Johnny looked at him, which made him flustered. His ears were practically red now.  

“Baby, I know he’s too handsome for this world, but I hope you’re not falling for him,” Johnny said monotonously, trying his best not to sound jealous.

On your part, you appreciated his honesty. That was one of the things you loved about him – his brutally frank comments helped you with your problems most of the time.

However, you also enjoyed how he seemed jealous of your budding crush on his friend, who now covered his face with his hands. “Please stop looking at me,” Jaehyun mumbled while peeking from the small spaces in between his fingers.

“Of course not, darling! You’re still my number one,” your attention was directed to Johnny this time, “but I have to be honest that Jaehyun is such a stunner that I can’t help but look at him sometimes,” you ended by taking a glance at the guy on your right.

The nerve of this guy to wink at you at this moment! You felt your body heat up at this, and you clenched your utensils tightly to fight it off.

“Jaaaaay! Don’t make her fall in love with you! She should be in love with me, and only me!” Johnny was whining like a baby, and the tension that enveloped the table earlier vanished.

You and Jaehyun laughed at how the 6-footer was acting. “Don’t worry, she won’t. Right, Essie? You’ll try your best not to fall in love with me?” The prince-like guy gave you another wink again and blew you a brief kiss.

You laughed in return, flushing red at the attention you were getting. “Hey, you’re totally trying to steal her from me!” Johnny quipped, whose long arm grabbed your wrist so you can focus your attention on him.

“I’m the only one you love, right?” He changed his voice to a sultry one and he gave you The Look. You felt your heart flutter and your insides became warmer. Ah, he still got you every time he did that.

“Yes, honey,” you murmured, shyly looking at his face. “You’re the one that I love.”

Jaehyun began to sing Shania Twain’s ‘You’re Still The One’, and Johnny followed suit. Then all of you sang the song until the end and burst into laughter at how funny (and flirty) you felt for the past few minutes.

After eating, Johnny had to take care of some errands, leaving you and Jaehyun alone in the apartment. “Don’t you even dare, Jeong Yoon-oh,” your boyfriend threatened, which you and your companion did not take seriously. “Don’t try to do anything to my girl,” were his last words before he left the house.

\\\

If there was one word to describe your situation after Johnny left, it was awkward.

You were seated on the end of the couch with a pillow on your stomach as you busily scrolled through your social media feed. On the opposite end was Jaehyun, who was also doing the same.

You could hear the videos he was playing, and you bet he could hear you mutter something under your breath. That was one quirk of yours whenever you scrolled through your Twitter feed – you had to comment on people’s tweets audibly first before responding to them on the app.

“You’re such a hoe, bitch,” you mumbled as you also typed it as your response. You were commenting on Ten’s latest post, which was an outtake on one of his shoots. He looked like a Renaissance painting that came to life with his velvet suit, silk ruffled shirt, and jeweled shoes.

“Who’s a hoe, Essie?” Jaehyun asked, melting you with his stare.

“It’s definitely not you!” You responded, cheeks red from embarrassment. You didn’t mean for him to hear your comment – you made a mental note to correct your quirk, so people don’t question you.

He laughed at your reaction and moved closer to where you were seated. “Then who are you calling a hoe then?”

You leaned back against the couch, hoping that there will be more space you could back out into. “It’s only Ten that I call as such, and it’s our thing,” you said, raising your phone to your face to cover how flushed it was.

“Really? You and Ten have a thing? Does Johnny know of this?” With every word he spoke, he moved closer to you.

“Not like that, dude! Ten’s one of my closest friends now. And you know he won't do something that will make Johnny angry, right?”

This stopped Jaehyun from approaching you, and it was his time to lean back on the sofa. “Oh, is that so?” he rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

When you thought that he was done from crawling toward you, he surprised you when he wrapped his arms around your waist.

You squealed as he tickled you on the sides, on your knee, and his hands crept up on your neck.

“Jaaaaaay! Stop that!” You said in between panting, getting tired from laughing. You were pushing him away, but he easily overpowered you with his strength.

“No, Essie, I don’t want to! Say the magic word,” he said while staring at you with all his might.

Time slowed, and you took in how intent he was on making you say the magic word – what was it, anyway?

“Please?” You breathed, returning the stare he gave you. “Please, darling,” you tried again, your voice breathier than usual.

He loosened his hold on you, but he didn’t let go. “Do I need to repeat myself?” You asked, your hands ready to untangle yourself from him.

“Darling, you make me feel conflicted,” he said with the most painful expression on his face. It was a mixture of sadness and struggle, a combination that was indeed painful to see on anyone.

“Are you for real, Jaehyun?” You raised an eyebrow, hoping it masked how shocked you were with his words. You hoped you sounded scandalized to make him stop what he was doing.

“Essie, I like you. A lot. It pains me that I was never able to make a move on you first,” he said, tilting his body toward yours. He now had a loving expression on his face, making your heart melt.

“But why now?” You could feel the tears pooling at the corner of your eyes.

Come to think of it, Jaehyun was always nice when you hung out with Johnny before. He never teased you – he was actually very sweet and was always on your side. There were times he held your hand, and you let him since you two were good friends.

And how could you forget that he used to kiss your cheek every time you said your farewell? It was not just your cheeks touching – he really pressed his lips lightly on your cheek.

But best friends trump good friends, and eventually, you weren’t able to maintain your closeness once you spent more time with Johnny instead.

“I’m sorry, Essie. I don’t know what to do,” he slowly unhooked his arms on you, “I’m such a fool for coming here. Now I’m confused,” he ran his hands through his hair and looked distressed.

“I’m sorry too, Jay. But if you must know, I like you a lot too,” you said while fiddling with your thumbs.

“Essie, you’re making me more confused,” He sounded annoyed now. “I don’t want to ruin your relationship with John, I know how much he loves you.”

“But does he know that you…like me too?” As much as it made you cringe, you just had to ask him that.

His answer surprised you. “He doesn’t, and I intend to keep it that way.”

This was a plot twist that made your love life more complicated – even though you already have Johnny, you had Mark trying his best to woo you, and now Jaehyun has joined ‘the group chat’, as the kids would say.

“So, what do you plan to do then?” The question came out of your mouth without any thinking, which you now regret.

“Do you want to sin with me?” The way he delivered it sent shivers down your spine. It felt as if you were talking to the devil, only he was clad in a sweater and black jeans.

From that day until the following week, you and Jaehyun had your trysts.

–––

FIN

The Pull of You

Brace yourselves, guys – this shit’s heavy. I wrote this during a moment of depression, so expect heavy themes here. 

This piece is connected to Conflicted, so if you want to know what happens after that, then click that link below.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: The aftermath of Essie’s affair with Jaehyun complicates her dynamic with her house mates, most especially her boyfriend Johnny. That’s already a given, but how do they resolve this? Or will they ever do? 

POV: 3rd person. 

Word count: 3,000 + words 

Warning: Aside from the drama and angst this piece exudes, there is also a mention of cutting here. Please don’t do it, kids. Don’t be like who’s still trying to recover from it. And of course, smoking again if you’re sensitive to it. 

Recommended listening: If you concluded that I’ll recommend The National here, then you are correct. I listened to ‘The Pull of You’ and ‘You Have Your Soul With You’ repeatedly while writing this. Lyrics from the song are in bold and italic. 

–––

The affair ruined her. Essie slowly descended into madness, her conscience guilty, and her thoughts spiraling out of control with a million thoughts.

She couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t afford to see Jaehyun behind Johnny’s back. It lasted for a week, and she had to tell her lover that she had to end this.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can continue this anymore,” she sobbed, “I want to love you both, but I can only love one of you. I should only love one of you.”

“I know, mon amour. I understand,” was Jaehyun’s reply as he rubbed her back. “I know this wasn’t meant to last long, I know that you love him more than me.”

“I’m so sorry, Jay. I really am. Maybe in another lifetime, we could’ve been,” she sobbed even harder this time.

Jaehyun spent the whole afternoon comforting her and gave her his last kiss before they went their separate ways. “I have no regrets, I am happy that we became together for a moment,” he whispered.

Essie didn’t reply, she was already a mess that couldn’t be fixed.

\\\

In the next few weeks, Johnny noticed that his girlfriend wasn’t acting her usual self. She didn’t talk to him that much and was always holed up in her room.

Although he did his best to be the most caring and patient boyfriend a girl could ever have, Essie wasn’t responding to any of his sweet gestures. He hadn’t heard her speak more than a few words. She didn’t even greet him or say thanks.

As much as he wanted to confront her, he knew that he couldn’t handle the sight of her crumbling in front of him. He let her be for the moment, hoping for the day that she will be back to her usual jolly self.

However, he felt hurt when he saw her conversing with Mark. She looked fine as he saw them talking in her bedroom, as there was a small space open in her door that he could peek through. The younger guy was listening intently to her story, and he observed how she was more animated compared to the past few weeks.

When Johnny saw Mark emerge out of Essie’s bedroom, he wasn’t able to ask his other housemate what he was doing there. Mark walked away with his head bowed, as if he was avoiding any conversation with his hyung. This left Johnny standing on the hallway with his mouth agape, his eyes fixated on the closed door of his girlfriend’s room.

What could have he done to deserve this?

\\\

Mark felt conflicted about the stories that his dear Essie noona told him. He wasn’t sure if he was the right person to listen to this kind of story, but he had to now that she and her boyfriend weren’t on speaking terms lately.

Essie told Mark of her affair with Jaehyun. It only lasted for a week, but she felt horrible that she was able to do it. She never expected that she would end up like her father. She should not tolerate cheating since that was what tore her family apart.

“I love them both, Mark,” she wiped a tear from her eye, “but I don’t know how I can tell John about this. I don’t know what to do if he leaves me. And I don’t know if I can pursue a relationship with Jaehyun further now.”

He just held her hand and squeezed it, not knowing what to say. “I’m sorry if I told you this, but I needed someone to talk to. This might be a lot for you to process, but what do you think I should do?”

When he saw how wrecked she looked, his heart ached. “I…I don’t know. I really don’t know,” were the only words he said before Essie cried for the hundredth time that week.

\\\

Essie didn’t come out of her room the whole day. That worried Johnny because even if they weren’t on speaking terms, she still slipped out of her room to eat (lately it’s only once a day) or use the bathroom.

It was already late in the evening, and the itch to confront her resurfaced. He took a deep breath and walked toward the landing where his keys were. He had the key to all of the rooms, hers included. It was time to take action.

He opened the door to her room and saw her bundled in her comforter. He almost dropped his phone when he noticed that there were bloodstains on it.

He rushed to her side and saw that the blood came from her wrists. They were still bleeding. He extracted a pair of scissors on her bed and threw it away. She had hurt herself.

“Maaaaark!” He shouted, trying not to let panic get to him. “Mark Lee, come here immediately, please!”

The younger guy peeked into Essie’s room and was shocked to see the bloodied comforter. “I’ll call 911,” he said, immediately fishing his phone out of his pocket to call the hotline.

Johnny unwrapped Essie from her beddings and examined the wounds she created. They were a bit fresh, and they still bled. He noticed that she wasn’t breathing regularly anymore.

He was crying throughout the ordeal – the medical staff had to calm him down, and Mark had to step up to take care of the situation.

He didn’t know why Essie ended up like this. She wasn’t talking to him for weeks. He gave her space, and he tried his best not to be mad at her. He was a kind, understanding, and caring partner. But she was being selfish, and it broke his heart day by day.

Now, he might lose her because he wasn’t strong enough to break her walls.

Is this how I lose it? Everything at once?

\\\

Essie’s thoughts continued to consume her.

I don’t deserve to be loved.

I have been a bad partner.

I have become like my father.

I am a whore, a slut, a bitch, or any derogatory names you could call me.

I am not worthy of Johnny’s love, nor Jaehyun’s.

I am the most selfish person on this planet.

I deserve to die.

She had no energy to get out of bed or even eat properly. She only had one meal a day, the portions becoming smaller each day. The last thing she ate was a single cracker.

As she buried herself deeper into her sheets, the desire to cut returned. Wordlessly, she got up from the bed and grabbed the nearest scissors she could find.

She shut her eyes and dragged it across her wrist first to see if it was sharp enough. She saw thin lines etched onto her skin, with one of them oozing a prick of blood.

She tried again, this time harder and slower. She let out a small grunt as she felt the metal digging into her skin. She felt the blood gush out, which was both a painful yet wonderful experience. She did it again to her other wrist albeit shakily, for the blood was making her lose her control.

They were thick gashes on each wrist, and she gave a faint smile at her work.

I wish all these thoughts would stop now, she thought as she closed her eyes. She felt faint, which she hoped would lead to her losing her conscience until she never gets it back.

\\\

When Essie opened her eyes, she was at the hospital. It was a sight she never thought she’d see or experience. There were bandages on her wrists, and she felt a twinge of pain when she tried to move her hands.

“You’re awake,” a voice beside her croaked. It was Johnny, who looked worse for wear. She tried to say anything, but her mouth was too dry. She settled on looking at him instead, observing the dark bags under his eyes and his messy hair.

“Do you need anything?” She shook her head. “Water?” Another shake. “Come on, baby, please,” he said, on the verge of tears.

She could only stare at him, her mind still processing everything that happened for the past few weeks.

“Why won’t you talk to me still? What did I do? I want to know if I hurt you in any way, so I know how I could make it up to you,” he started, tears falling from his eyes.

“You’ve been talking to Mark, but not me. Are you hiding something from me?”

Those words made her heart pound loudly against her chest, and she tried not to break from her poker face.

“Baby, whatever it is, please. Let me know. I’ll understand. Whatever you did, I’ll forgive you. Just talk to me.”

Still, Essie would not budge. She just stared at him crying, unable to say anything for fear of him breaking further than her.

I cheated, John. With your best friend. I’m sorry.

A tear slipped from her eye, which Johnny didn’t notice as he continued to weep in front of her.

There was a knock on the door, but that didn’t stop him from crying. The door creaked open, revealing Mark in his trademark baseball cap.

He was about to say anything but noticed that his hyung was close to bawling.

“I guess I’ll be back later,” he mumbled, about to close the door. That was when Essie found her voice back, even if it was hoarser than usual. “Mark,” she started, “please stay.”

The younger guy was surprised at this, and he re-entered the room. Johnny’s eyes widened that his girlfriend wanted to talk to his other roommate instead of him.

“Sorry, Johnny hyung, but can you excuse us for a second?” Mark whispered, still not making eye contact with him.

“I can’t believe this,” Johnny muttered, glaring at his housemates for a second before storming out of the room.

He went out of the hospital to calm himself down, and for the first time in ages, he lighted a stick.

\\\

Everything came back to her once she started speaking to Mark. The younger guy updated her on what happened, and he saw how her face was coming back to life with various expressions. Her eyebrows knitted, her mouth frowned, and her eyes expressed the most emotion of them all.

“Mark, I still don’t know what to do. I can’t talk to him, not like this,” she murmured, looking at her bandaged wrists.

“You have to now, Essie noona. Please. It’s breaking him too. If you don’t want him to leave, you have to do it,” he said, softly tapping her arm.

She cried again, and Mark took this opportunity to excuse himself and find Johnny so the lovers could finally talk.

\\\

It took Mark an hour to find his hyung. He tried calling, but he wouldn’t answer. He had to resort to calling their other friends. Eventually, he found him through Yuta. “He’s at that coffee house with the nice smoking area,” the Japanese guy said before he hung up.

It was the place that he went to with his girlfriend. Mark knew that Essie smoked, but she was trying to cut it down. He didn’t know if she had quit, but that didn’t matter now.

As he went to the smoking area, he saw Johnny blowing a smoke ring. “Johnny hyung,” he approached the guy carefully, afraid that he might hurt him due to what he witnessed earlier.

“Mark,” the older guy said harshly and even blew smoke at his face. “What brings you here?”

“I’m taking you back to the hospital. She needs you now,” he took a seat beside him and twiddled his thumbs out of nervousness.

“What makes you think she needs me? She only talks to you now! Tell me,” Johnny said as he put out the cigarette, “are you two in a secret relationship?”

Mark shook his head vigorously. “No, hyung. She already made her choice when she decided to be in a relationship with you. I will never do that to you, to her, or anyone.” His voice was firm.

“Then, why is she talking only to you? I’m always here for her. Mark, please tell me, what’s wrong? Why isn’t she talking to me?” The older guy was in tears again, his sadness and frustration about the situation coming up again.

“It’d be best that she explain it, to be honest. I don’t even know what to say,” Mark rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Please, Johnny hyung. Have a bit more patience. She’ll talk.”

“I’m doing the best that I could, Mark Lee. I hope I still have some patience in me left,” were Johnny’s last words before he went back to the hospital.

\\\

“Baby, you said you needed to talk to me?”

The six-footer was now seated beside his love, who looked more alive than he saw her earlier. She nodded, opening her palm and moving it toward his direction.

He took this as a cue to hold her hand, which he did. He was gentle in picking it up, slowly slipping in his fingers in between hers.

“Can you tell me why you hurt yourself? Can you tell me everything why you haven’t been talking to me in ages?” His voice cracked as he asked.

“I…I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I really am. I am truly, deeply sorry.”

“I know it’s easy to say I forgive you, but I don’t know if I can accept it just yet. You really hurt me,” Johnny’s grip tightened. “But I know you still have a lot to explain. Can you start?”

She looked at him with teary eyes, slowly untangling her hand from him. She didn’t know where to start. She didn’t know if she could say what she has practiced in her mind while she was waiting for him to return.

I had only one thing to do and I couldn’t do it yet.

///

It took some time for Essie and Johnny to repair their relationship. She wasn’t able to tell him what she really wanted to say when she was at the hospital. They just held hands and cried.

Once she was discharged, Johnny was hands-on in taking care of her. He didn’t leave her alone – he accompanied her to the bathroom, he slept beside her, and he was there for her when she had to go out of the house.

In one instance, they had to return to the hospital for a follow-up check-up and an appointment with the psychiatrist. They held hands as they went to the car silently. Essie didn’t talk that much, and if she did, she only gave single statements.

Johnny’s patience was wearing thin, but he prayed that the Lord give him more. He didn’t want to lose the love of his life, even if she still hasn’t told him everything yet.

From all the things that she said, he only knew that she was apologetic for everything.

Something's leaving me behind

It's just a feeling in my mind

\\\

It was during their ride to the hospital that Essie finally cracked.

“I’m sorry that I broke your heart,” she wept, looking away from him.

It had started raining outside, and they were stuck in traffic.

“I already forgive you for that,” he squeezed her hand. “Stop apologizing so much. I got it.” He bent forward to look at her face in the car window and saw that her eyes were red and puffy.

“It’s more than what you think, John. I really am sorry.”

He let go of her clammy hand and placed it on the steering wheel. Could it be?

A moment of awkward silence enveloped the car. They weren’t listening to any of their playlists lately. Music took a backseat in their lives as Johnny was intent to fix things with Essie.

“Who did you do it with?” His tone was serious, making the hairs on the back of Essie’s neck stand up.

“Jay,” she whispered as she sat up straight. “It was Jay.” She repeated with certainty.

“Jeong Jaehyun,” Johnny growled his best friend’s name. It made sense to him now. No wonder he wasn’t talking to him despite leaving multiple voice calls and private messages. “How dare he do this to me? But how could you too, Essie?” The instant change of tone of his voice made her heart ache.

It was one of the most painful things that she heard him say, along with the pleas that he said when she was at the hospital.

“I’m really sorry, John. There are no excuses for what I did. I gave in to temptation when I could’ve avoided it…” Essie’s voice cracked at each word she said, and she was in tears again.

“How long did it last?” Johnny’s question cut through her like a knife. He wasn’t dilly-dallying around.

“For a week. I couldn’t take it anymore…” She distracted herself by studying her hands since she didn’t want to cry all day. She knew she would cry more during her appointment with the psychiatrist.

“Essie…” He breathed, his eyes intent on the traffic sign. It was still red, and he was wishing that it would change to green.

“I’m sorry, Johnny. My sincerest apologies. I am remorseful for what I did. Please forgive me more for what I have done,” she said, taking a glance at his face.

Even if it pained her to see his reaction, she had to know how he felt.

He had an inscrutable expression as he continued to drive. Of course, it hurt him that his best friends cheated on him. Jeong Jaehyun, a man he considered his brother, had an affair with the woman he wanted to marry and have a family with.

He had to right to be angry about this. But he didn’t feel it right now. Instead, he felt defeated. Deflated. Depressed.

His love for Essie was too much that he wanted her to get better soon so they could fix their lives together.

Processing anger can take a toll on someone, and he didn’t want to feel that just yet. He would get angry later on. That could wait.

He took a look at Essie, who has now fallen asleep. He gave her a small smile before focusing his attention back on the road.

We're connected by a thread

If we ever get far apart

I'll still feel the pull of you

–––

FIN

P.S. I hope you didn’t make a drinking game out of all the times I mentioned hyung here!

Wicked Games

In other words, it is the start of something sinful. Say what? If you’ve been following along, then you might have an idea of what this post will be about. 

As a clue, here’s Jaehyun radiating boyfriend vibes for you. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: This marks the first official day of Essie and Jaehyun’s affair. Need I say more? 

POV: 2nd person still. Do you guys like this POV better or a 3rd one? I suddenly got curious about your opinion. Please let me know! 

Word count: 1,100 + words

Warning: This is a cheating story, so expect some loose morals here. 

Recommended listening: The song mentioned shares the same title as this piece. However, I prefer Coeur de Pirate’s cover because it sounds more tragic than the original one by The Weeknd. 

–––

Although you loved hanging out with Johnny to listen to different kinds of music, it was a whole new different experience with Jaehyun.

This was the first official day of your tryst with him, and you saw him before you headed home from work. He picked you up a few blocks away from your office, and he took you to his apartment, which he shared with Taeyong.

Since his roommate was out of the country with Mark, he had the place all to himself. It was the perfect opportunity to have a rendezvous, and he even made some preparations.

Once you opened the door to his house, there were fairy lights stringed almost everywhere and soft music was playing. There was a wine bottle on the coffee table, along with two glasses.

“Wow, this is so romantic,” you whispered, looking around his place. You love the industrial-meets-farmhouse look of their home – red brick walls always get you.

As you brushed your fingers against the brick’s texture, he took out some food from the fridge. Upon closer inspection, they were random cheeses and cold cuts.

“That’s so classy of you, Jay,” you said, hovering over his figure as he sliced some brie on a wooden platter. “Treating a girl to some wine and cheese with good music playing in the background? What else are we going to do?”

“Let’s see if we go beyond that, shall we?” He purred, winking at you as he started slicing some gorgonzola.

You helped him prepare the cheese and cold cuts platter, which he appreciated. “I don’t know what cheese and cold cuts you want to eat, so I bought a lot at the grocery the other day,” he admitted, flashing you his trademark boyish grin.

“That’s thoughtful of you, darling. Thank you for considering what I’d like,” you said, squeezing his hand after you were done slicing the last slab of cheese.

“Of course, anything for my darling Essie,” he replied, taking your other hand and holding it.

That line sounded familiar – Johnny tells you that a lot whenever you thanked him.

You let go of his hand abruptly and looked at the ground. You felt ashamed that you remembered your boyfriend at this time.

“Essie, what’s wrong?” Jaehyun took your hands again, with one of them tilting your chin to look at him.

When he saw that you looked distressed, he kissed your forehead. “Tell me what’s bothering you,” he whispered, his lips tickling your ears.

“I remember him,” you said softly, intertwining your hands with his. “And I’m sorry about that.”

He remained silent, but he didn’t let go of you. You observed him from the corner of your eye and saw that he was deep breathing. You were silently counting how many he would do – he lasted until five – and then he spoke up.

“I know what we’re doing is bad, darling,” he started, looking at your eyes, “but I also want to be with you.”

His piercing stare made your heart skip a beat, and maybe it made you a bit wet. “I want you to forget about him when you’re with me,” he continued, now placing his hands on your waist.

“Make me,” you challenged him as a haughty smirk graced your features. “I dare you to make me forget about him,” you repeated with conviction.

“Oh yes, I will,” he said, pulling you closer to him. “My name will be the only one you’ll be speaking of.” With that, he crashed his lips on yours, and you reciprocated with the same passion.

\\\

After making out at the kitchen, you and Jaehyun went to the couch. You ate, drank, and talked about everything. You were amused to see his different facial expressions – you were so used to him looking serious.

He laughed at your jokes, he made cute faces when you teased him, and he gave you the sexiest stare that you ever saw in your life.

But of course, your favorite part of hanging out with him was the music. It was one of the things you were passionate about, and you loved hearing his thoughts on it.

At that moment, you forgot you were someone else’s. All that mattered was that Jeong Jaehyun was cuddling with you on the couch, his hand stroking your thigh. Your arms were looped around his neck and from time to time, you kissed him on his neck, his jaw, and eventually, his lips.

He was enjoying the attention you were giving him, and he did his best to please you. He stroked your hair, he rubbed your back affectionately, and he kissed you on the lips repeatedly.

Coeur de Pirate’s cover of ‘Wicked Games’ was playing in the background when your kisses intensified. Tongues clashed against each other, and your hands roamed all over your bodies.

Just tell me you love me

I’ll give you what I need, I’ll give you all you need

Even though you don’t love me

The song hit close to Jaehyun. He knew that you were with Johnny, but he still wanted to take a chance with you. Without any warning, he carried you to his bedroom.

You didn’t say anything. You already knew where this was heading. You accepted that trysts like this will end with you two fucking.

As he laid you on the bed, you saw in his eyes that he was asking for permission. “Yes darling, do it,” you murmured. Within seconds, both of your clothes were discarded, and everything became a blur in your mind.

\\\

It was already late in the evening when you were done. You weren’t able to text Johnny where you were. Having sex with Jaehyun was amazing – he really knew how to please.

You walked naked back to the couch and looked at your phone. There were 10 missed calls and 5 text messages from Johnny.

You replied to his latest message – Baby, I’m worried where are you please answer me – with Sorry, I was busy with work. I’ll come home late. Sorry, I worried you and hit send.

“He’s looking for you,” Jaehyun surprised you when you saw him at the kitchen doorway, only wearing a pair of track pants. “He also texted me.”

You noted that he sounded disappointed, but he knew that he couldn’t do anything. “I know. I guess this wraps up our rendezvous for today,” you said, grabbing a pillow on the couch to cover your body.

“And I hope we see each other tomorrow again,” were the last words both of you said before you left his apartment.

–––

FIN

Fling Things

Let me introduce you to some fling things! Did you read that to the tune of ‘Kick It’? If you did, then you are a real NCTzen! 

Kidding aside, here’s a lighthearted story with the special participation of Wong Yuk-hei, also known as Lucas from WayV and Super M! 

Lest you forget, this is predominantly a Johnny (and Jaehyun and Mark) fanfiction blog, so read on to know how Lucas gets into the picture this time. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: Like a page taken out of a rom-com storyline, Essie has a one-night stand with Lucas, and Johnny and Jaehyun aren’t happy about it. Hilarity ensues, as always. 

POV: 2nd person still. I wrote a lot of stuff last year, can you tell? 

Word count: 1,200 + words 

Warning: It’s a bit steamy, but not too much that it’s foggy. Get that? Otherwise, it’s just good old fun with the boys. 

–––

Before you and Johnny became official, you had a couple of flings with other guys. One of them was with Lucas, whom you had a one-night stand with. It was during a party that you ended up with the head-turning Hong Konger. 

The party was to celebrate someone’s birthday – you were sure it was for the Aquarian group of Doyoung, Johnny, and Jaehyun – and somehow, you ended up on the couch with Lucas. 

Both of you were tipsy already, with him affectionately rubbing your thigh, and you caressing his arm. You were talking too close to each other that nothing else mattered – if you weren’t that drunk, you might have noticed that Johnny and Jaehyun were glaring at your interaction with Lucas. 

Everything happened so fast, and before you knew it, you were in bed with the younger guy. You could only remember snippets of the deed, which were too steamy to even recall in detail. 

You woke up around 7 a.m. and found that Lucas was still beside you, scrolling through his phone. He was still topless, exposing his neck and arms that were almost filled with your love bites. You flushed at the memory of yesterday’s debauchery and decided to get up.

But before you could even do that, Lucas pinned you back on the bed. “Hey baby, morning,” he said in his trademark sultry voice. You gave him a weak smile, which he responded to with his awkward laughter. 

“You were great last night,” he started, leaning closer to you, “and I mean it.” He eyed the marks you left him. “Uh, thanks? You were great too,” you replied, starting to relax in your current position. 

He pecked you on the lips before he got up, revealing that he was already wearing his underwear. “Want to get breakfast?” He asked as he rummaged on the chair across the bed for his clothes. 

“Sure thing, but let me wash up first.” You held the blanket around you as you stood up, now shy of your naked body. 

“Okay, I’ll just be here,” Lucas winked at you as he slipped on his jeans. 

\\\

Breakfast with Lucas didn’t feel anything special. It was like eating with a friend – he cracked a lot of jokes while you tried your best not to spit out your coffee from laughter. 

He was a nice boy, but you know that he’s not the one for you. Blame it on the alcohol that you were able to do something you thought you would never do. 

He pecked your cheek before you left his car. “Let me know if you want to hang out, okay? I’ve put my number in there,” he tapped at your phone, “and you can chat me up too.” 

You nodded, bewildered that he was able to unlock your phone and put his number in your contacts. The boy might be more into you than you thought. 

Even if it has already been a couple of hours since you two did it, you still have the post-sex pain. 

You hobbled towards the door barefoot since you know you wouldn’t be able to walk in heels. As you fumbled for the keys in your bag, you heard footsteps approaching the door. 

Johnny, who was in a baggy shirt and sweatpants, opened the door for you. “Hey, wouldn’t you look at that,” he said, leaning against the doorway. “Baby’s got a fun time last night, and we weren’t invited!” His sarcastic tone annoyed you, but at the same time, you also felt guilty. 

You weren’t able to notify the guys that you were still at the venue of the party, in one of the rooms having your way with one of the most handsome men you’ve ever known. Aren’t all of your guy friends?

“Hey, I’m sorry,” you croaked. “I didn’t mean to not text or call you guys but…uh, things happened. And I didn’t expect that to happen. Not in a million years. I don’t know what came over me–––”

Johnny cut you off by pulling you into the house. “Stop blabbering and come inside,” he whispered, his hand still on your wrist as he dragged you to the sofa. 

You followed him silently, and he even patted a spot on the couch for you to sit on. Once you were seated, he flicked your nose. “You deserve that for making us worry,” he said before taking a seat beside you.

“But I said I was sorry!” You grumbled, rubbing the spot he hit. “Please don’t do that again, Essie. Jaehyun and I were worried about you, but especially me.” With that, you turned around and saw that one of his best friends walked toward you with a cup of coffee.

“Looks like you need one,” he said as he handed the steaming cup to you. You thanked him and carefully took a sip. It tasted just the way you like it – with milk and two packets of sugar. 

“Hey, you know my blend,” you gave an approving look at Jaehyun, who rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Because I’ve observed you enough to know what you like,” he mumbled. 

You could only look at the boys in shock. Jaehyun usually didn’t act this flustered, and Johnny’s concern was bordering on anger. You set the coffee on the table and explained yourself again, this time more confidently. 

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to message or call you guys. I know you were concerned because I had too much to drink, and I was flirting with someone…” You softened your voice at the end, embarrassed of admitting that you had a rendezvous last night. 

“Yes dear, you were with Lucas. The young sex god. You got pulled into his charms,” Johnny said dryly while rolling his eyes. “You were too weak to resist it,” Jaehyun piped in, folding his arms in disappointment. 

“I didn’t expect that too, honest! But anyway, now I’m home safe and sound, I’m really sorry I made you guys worry. What can I do to make it up to you guys?” You pleaded, giving your best aegyo to appease them. 

Both guys looked at each other, deep in thought on what you can do to make them forgive you. It took them a moment until both of them said the same thing.

 “Be my assistant for the week.” 

“Hey, I said it first!” Johnny grumbled, glaring at the guy standing beside him. 

“No, I was the one who said it first!” Jaehyun rebutted, raising an eyebrow at his friend. 

They bickered for a moment, and you shook your head at their immaturity. 

“Well, I guess you two should settle that first. I’m going to take a long bath, and let me know who the winner is,” you said, standing up with the cup of coffee.

“Let’s settle this with rock-paper-scissors, so we know who the winner is now!” Johnny screeched, getting into a competitive stance. Jaehyun mirrored him, and you watched them play the most intense rock-paper-scissors game ever. 

The taller guy won with paper against Jaehyun’s rock. The latter drooped his shoulders in defeat while Johnny pumped his fist in the air. “I win! Better prepare yourself, girl, I’m going to tire you out!” He said, pointing a finger at you for emphasis. 

“Yeah, whatever. I’m going to rest for now,” you took a sip of your coffee before walking away from the two guys. 

Sometimes, being surrounded by more guys makes things more complicated for you. All you ever wanted was to be with that one special guy, but life has to make things challenging for you. 

Is this a conquest you should continue, or should you stop now?

–––

FIN

A Kiss for Luck

As mentioned before, I don’t write in chronological order. Here’s another example of that in this Essie and Jaehyun piece. 

This one’s also dedicated to @gyuschilli, which I will discuss more in the summary. 

And how can I not forget to add an adorable GIF of Jeong Jaehyun for your pleasure? 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: This story was inspired by this tweet that @gyuschilli sent me, and I thought it might tie in to their affair as well. Consider this as the main event of their fourth day, even if I wrote a snippet of it on a previous post. 

POV: 3rd person as this is one of my most recent writing. 

Word count: 1,000 + words 

Warning: As always, they are a horny bunch. Nothing smutty, just a bit of sexiness here. 

–––

“Yoon Oh, what’s up?”

She never called him his real name unless she was serious. Jeong Jaehyun looked at Essie Park, who was rubbing circles on his back. They were hanging out at the couch in her apartment, which she shared with two of their friends. One of them happened to be her boyfriend, who was abroad at the moment. The same could be said for the other one, who was with Jaehyun’s housemate for a special project. In short, they had their apartments all to their selves.

“It’s just that…” he started, looking at anything than her worried face, “I might go out of the country too in a week or so. I’ve been offered a project, just like Mark and Taeyong. It's a solo one, and I might not be back for a couple of weeks.”

This made her lean back against the couch and place her hands on her lap. “Oh, why are you all leaving one at a time?” She asked in a small voice.

“That’s what my manager told me, mon amour. I thought that this project wouldn’t push through until next year, and I was shocked to hear this news earlier.”  

“Oh, I see,” Essie scrutinized her fingers as she waited for Jaehyun’s response. “I’m sorry about that,” She felt him move closer to her, “but we still have a couple of days to enjoy each other’s company before I leave?”

When she looked up at him, his lips were immediately on hers.

Ah, it was already the fourth day of their affair. They drove to the beach, ate good food, and fucked as much as they could for the past few days. Hearing that he would have to fly for a project next week broke Essie a bit, but she was also relieved deep inside since she could still detach herself from him.

If she took the time to reflect, then she would realize how much this is hurting her. She knew she loved her boyfriend, The One and Only Johnny Suh, but she could not resist temptation in the form of Jeong Jaehyun.

Both of them started as her friends, but it was the Korean-American who won her heart eventually. It was only recently that Jaehyun admitted he liked her, and as much as she didn’t want to break his heart, she had broken hers (and her boyfriend’s) for starting this affair.

When they pulled away from each other, Jaehyun buried his face on the crook of Essie’s neck. “My darling, I don’t want to leave you,” he whispered. “Not now that we’re getting to know each other better.”

“I could say the same, mon cheri,” she kissed his cheek. “I’ve always wanted to have deep conversations with you, but we never had much time, no?”

“Because you were always with Johnny hyung,” he scoffed, pulling away from her to show his sarcasm. “But that doesn’t matter right now. You are all mine,” He started to pepper her neck with kisses, which she encouraged by stroking his hair.

She closed her eyes and let him pleasure her. Once again, she will forget that she is someone else’s and that she is for him alone.

\\\

As they spent the afternoon listening to records and drinking wine, Jaehyun suddenly wore his serious look again, which concerned (but mostly bothered) Essie.

“Yoon Oh…” She wrapped her arms around his waist. “It hurts me when I see you look like that. What’s up, my sweet lover?”

“I remembered my project again. This will be the first time I’m doing something like this, so…I’m quite nervous about it.”

Although his confidence level was not as extreme as Johnny’s, Essie found it heartbreaking that Jaehyun was not feeling his best about this new endeavor.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” She looked up at him with puppy eyes, making him suppress his groan by biting his lip.

“How about…you kiss me for good luck?” He flashed his trademark dimpled smile, which she responded to by thwacking him on the shoulder.

“Seriously, Jay? Will a kiss really help you?” She folded her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at him.

“If it woke up Sleeping Beauty and turned frogs into princes, then I guess it would,” he was practically beaming at how absurd he sounded, but he hoped that she would buy it.

“Then you might turn into a frog if I kiss you then?” She readjusted her arms over her chest and moved closer to him. “I don’t want to see you turn into that.”

He wanted to roll his eyes at how their conversation was going but decided to approach his request in another way. He did his best aegyo, which involved him talking to her in a baby voice and doing a silly dance.

“Can baby get a kiss from his mommy?”

Essie had the urge to hide from secondhand embarrassment but pulled through when she saw how desperate he was for it.

“Okay, if that’s what you want,” she closed the gap between them and kissed him on the cheek. “Is that enough, mon bebe?”

He shook his head and pointed at his lips. “Isn’t my baby demanding?” she sighed.

“Come on, mon amour. Just this one, and I’ll be okay.” He puckered his lips and made kissy noises.

She gave in to his request, and he responded with such passion that it led to them making out on the couch.

It was déjà vu – didn’t this just happen a while ago? As she became lost in his kisses, the thought of him leaving her crept back in her mind.

She was conflicted once more. It is for the best that you cut this as soon as you can, her logical side told her.

No, you will never get to do this again, her emotional side lamented.

Shut the fuck up, she told both sides of her brain as she felt Jaehyun’s tongue go deeper in her mouth.

She moaned at how good it felt, and as always, they fucked.

This was becoming a routine, and she wondered if she could keep it up before he leaves or not.

–––

FIN

Housemates (Jaehyun)

Of course, I had to do my version of having Jeong Jaehyun as a housemate. Expect fluffy happenings and realizations on his part in this piece. 

As always, here’s a Jaehyun GIF for you. I just want to poke and squish his cheeks here!  

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: Like the previous ones, this story is inspired by this post. There was one item that I wasn’t able to write about, and one of the scenarios here is inspired by real life. Can you guess what that is? 

POV: This has a mix of both 2nd and 3rd POVs since I wrote them at different times. 

Word count: 2,100 + words, which is the longest I have for this series. 

Warning: Truthfully, I wrote this piece sort of a prelude to their affair, so expect that he’s quite sweet with Essie on this. 

–––

There was a time in Essie’s life that she and Jaehyun were housemates before their affair. Maybe that experience was why the guy fell for her but still didn’t do anything about it until it was too late.

Essie stayed in Jaehyun’s old place when he and Taeil were still housemates. This time, Taeil was staying with Donghyuck since they became closer over time. Not that the old roommates weren’t friends anymore; they just grew apart.

Essie and Taeil loved bonding over music and cats. Jaehyun will observe them from afar, with his trademark dimpled smile, as they played with kittens while listening to Frank Ocean.

“Are you guys hungry?” The pink-haired guy interrupted their moment, moving closer to them so they will notice his presence. “Yeah, we are!” Essie and Taeil said at the same time, which made them giggle afterward. “Aren’t you hungry too, Ying?” The girl cooed at the white kitten on her lap. “I’m sure Yang is hungry!” The guy beside her said, stroking the fur of the black kitten he now carried in his arms.

Jaehyun chuckled at his housemates before grabbing his coat. “I’ll get you your favorites, please wait for me.”

“Okay, bye! Take care!” Both voices said at the same time, along with the soft meowing of kittens.

\\\

“I can’t sleep,” Essie whined one evening when she appeared in Jaehyun’s room. The girl was dressed in men’s pajamas, which she probably swiped from Johnny.

“How can I help you sleep?” The guy asked, motioning her to come further into his room. She walked hesitantly towards the small chair beside his shelf of knick-knacks, her eyes roaming all over his room.

“Your place looks cute and cozy, it’s very you,” she commented before taking a seat on said small chair.

Jaehyun had just closed the door to his room and was now standing in front of Essie. “Thanks sweetie, that’s very thoughtful of you,” he sat across from her on the edge of his bed, “but what would you want to do now?”

She assumed a thinker’s pose – hands cradling her chin – and hummed. “Are you watching anything right now?”

“A series? Let’s see,” he got his phone and checked Netflix. “Just re-runs of ‘Friends’. Would you like to watch it with me?”

She nodded eagerly, and he set up the television. “Thanks, dude. Maybe watching a series might make me sleepy,” she mumbled as she was now seated on one part of his bed.

“No problem, my sweet Essie. I’m happy to help you out,” he said as he plopped on the space beside her as the iconic introduction of the series now played.

A few episodes in and Jaehyun noticed that the girl was yawning. “Okay, I think you’re sleepy now,” he whispered. She gave a small nod before yawning loudly. “Thanks again, Jay. Sorry if I had to crash here just so I can be sleepy.”

“Anything for you, sweetie.” He squeezed her hand, which she returned. “Just drop by when you have a problem or something.”

She got up from the bed and waved silently before leaving his room. This was one of those moments that he felt weird and warm at the same time – he was slowly falling for her.

Maybe he should stop giving her pet names? That might be the reason why he found her more attractive each day. Or maybe he’s just making an excuse because he has always been interested in her from the start.

\\\

“Good morning, honey,” Jaehyun greeted Essie, who looked like she needed more hours of sleep despite sleeping for more than the recommended 8 hours.

“Honey? Yesterday I was sweetie,” she mumbled while rubbing her eyes. “You never seem to run out of nicknames for me, eh?”

“Yup, as long as I think of anything to call you, I’ll call you that.” He said, smiling at her as he handed her the box of cereal. “Do you want anything else?”

“Milk, of course. How am I supposed to eat this without it?” Essie shook the box in front of him in annoyance.

He chuckled at her reaction and handed her a carton of milk from the fridge. “You just want some milk, okay then,” he muttered.

This got her laughing as she remembered a viral video of him studying for his English oral exams, and netizens highlighted that line as one of his iconic moments.

“Don’t you dare bring it up, honey,” he grumbled as he got a bowl and spoon for her.

“But that was really funny, Yoon Oh!”

His only response was a glare, which didn’t faze Essie at all. Instead, she burst into laughter and even slapped the table for emphasis.

\\\

“You poor baby,” Jaehyun said, brushing the strands of Essie’s hair away from her face. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this, usually I get better with meds and rest,” the girl replied, her voice a bit hoarse.

Essie got sick during the second week of her stay in Jaehyun and Taeil’s apartment. The latter was out, and it was just her and the former at home.

At first, she was just sneezing more than usual. Then, she was coughing. Soon enough, she had to wear a facemask despite her aversion to them. Jaehyun noticed that her eyes were red and watery as well.

When he decided to check on Essie a while ago, he saw that she was completely wrapped in her comforter even if the AC was on. He took matters into his own hands, and that’s why they ended up like this.

“I heard from Johnny that your mom always made you warm calamansi juice whenever you got sick,” he said as he reached for the mug on her bedside table.

She got teary-eyed as she took the mug from him. “You didn’t have to do this for me,” she said before taking a sip. “I just needed more rest, that’s all.”

“You’ll get better faster when there’s someone to take care of you.”

Essie felt her insides warm up even more with Jaehyun’s comment, and she drank more of the juice he made her.

“I also made some chicken noodle soup. Everything to get your flu out of the way, okay?” He flashed her a smile and patted her thigh.

Essie was practically burning from his touch but did her best not to show that she felt such. She smiled weakly and went back to sleep.

Despite Jaehyun’s good intentions, his actions made Essie’s temperature go higher.

“And I thought you’ll be better faster with my warm offerings,” he said the following day as he got the thermometer from her.

“I’m sorry, but as I said, I need more rest. But you can make me more of that warm calamansi juice though. Please?” She attempted to bat her eyelashes at him, which made Jaehyun giggle.

“Alright, I’ll make you more of that. I’m glad you love it though,” he said as he kissed her temple.

“Thank you, Jay. You’re the best. Your future girlfriend will be so lucky to have you,” she murmured before closing her eyes.

He took one last look at her before going to the kitchen to prepare her drink.

Yes, Essie. You are lucky to have me.

\\\

One of the things that irked you when you were roommates with Jaehyun was that he always had to put his game on loudspeaker.

You groaned as you heard the sound of machine guns, a female voice screaming ‘Victory’, and conversations between the characters of the game.

“Jay, would you turn it down a bit? I’m trying to focus here,” you said as poked your head in his room.

He was intent on killing the enemy on the screen, and it took him a couple of seconds to respond to your request. He paused the game and flashed you an apologetic smile.

“Sorry about that, I’ll just lower the volume. I like playing games with the sound on, it gets me more in the mood.”

You rolled your eyes at his answer and closed the door. You hoped that he would do what he said since even your noise-canceling headphones weren’t strong enough to block the noises of his game.

Maybe it’s about time that you replace that Bose hand-me-down from your sister.

\\\

You were surprised to see two shirts, a pair of joggers, and a hoodie that wasn't yours in your hamper.

You examined the tags and realized that these clothes belonged to Jaehyun. Your rooms were just beside each other, with your hamper placed outside your room.

Since it was just outside, it was convenient for you to dump your laundry there. And maybe he thought the same since he also did with his clothes on your hamper.

“Jay…” You started as you poked your head in his room again. He was lying on his bed scrolling through his phone. He wore his headband, a black shirt, and a pair of shorts. He looked comfortable in his position – a bit of his torso showed as the shirt had risen.

“Yeah?” He said without turning around. When you squinted your eyes to look at what he was doing, you chuckled. He was responding to tweets from friends and fans.

“May I ask why you put some of your laundries in my basket?”

This got him to stand up immediately and rush to the hamper outside your rooms. “Sorry about that, Essie,” he said, plucking out his clothes that you have now carefully folded on top of yours. “It’s just easier to dump them there than put them in my hamper inside the room.”

“Then why not just put your hamper outside then? I’m sure ours don’t look the same,” you said, peeking into his room for his basket.

Shoot, it looked like yours as well – a wicker basket with a lid and linen lining inside.

“No wonder you’ve been putting your clothes in mine,” you groaned as you dragged the basket outside. “I’ll just put a label on which one’s yours and mine, okay?”

The guy nodded, opening the lid of his hamper and dumping his laundry in. “I’m sorry, Essie. This won’t happen again.”

But of course, it still happened again even if you have put labels on your baskets. Maybe that’s just the way it is with Jaehyun – you’ll always have to segregate what’s yours and his in your respective hampers.

If you only knew that he liked to put his clothes in your basket so it could mingle with the scent of yours. It’s a little bit creepy and sweet at the same time – who knew that the heartthrob has a side like this, eh?

\\\

“I can’t sleep again.”

You said, hoping your voice was loud enough for him through the wall.

“Well, we can talk if you want. Do you want to come here?”

Jaehyun answered, his voice loud enough to penetrate through the wall.

“I’m too tired to move, dude. My legs feel like jelly from bowling, which I haven’t played in ages.” You rubbed your thighs in hopes that they feel a bit better.

You heard him chuckle first before he responded to your comment. “Well, I suppose you didn’t stretch first?”

“Ugh, I forgot about that! I’ll take note of that next time. Anyway, what’s up with you?”

“I’m trying to compose something. I’m talking to you as I sit in front of my keyboard right now.”

“Do you have any chords in mind to start it off?”

“Well, here it goes,” he said, pressing a couple of chords that sounded melancholic. “That seems fitting for an emotional song,” you commented. “Have you thought about the lyrics?”

Your conversation continued even if there was a wall separating you two. Taeil wasn’t at the apartment right now as he went home to his parents. Lately, it’s always you and Jaehyun who hung out. You missed Taeil since only the two of you loved cats, and he brought Ying and Yang home.

As you and your housemate worked on a song together, you couldn’t help but feel warm inside. The AC in your room was on, but the warmth blooming inside you rendered it almost useless. It was nice talking to Jaehyun like this. You were able to collaborate on a song together even if you didn’t have to see each other’s faces.

Before you knew it, sunlight peeked in through your curtains. “Wow, dude. We’ve been talking for what, four to five hours straight? It’s now 5 in the morning.”

“Yeah, Essie. I can’t believe it as well,” he chortled. You heard the sound of a chair being moved and took it as a cue to wrap things up.

“Thanks for talking to me, Jay. And I’m glad that I was able to help you out with your composition.” You said, now lying on your bed instead of sitting on it.

“Sure thing, anything for you. Like I always say, right?” He never seemed to stop chuckling at his words, but you didn’t let it get to you for now.

“Good night, Jaehyun.”

“Good morning, Essie.”

–––

FIN

If you guessed that having warm calamansi juice while being sick is inspired by real life, then you are correct. I miss it though! 

Day Dream

Through the help of my office mate, I was able to retrieve a copy of some of my previous writing. This is one of them, which I hope you’ll enjoy. 

To be honest, I didn’t know what I was thinking – this just happened like a daydream. Yes, the pun was definitely intended.

Here’s an edited outtake of Jaehyun from the same song that appears in their Neo Zone album. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: This is inspired by Essie and Jaehyun’s steamy affair. I can’t believe I write smut for Jaehyun, but not for Johnny. How come, self? 

POV: 3rd person since this is quite new, meaning this was written pre-quarantine this year. 

Word count: 720 + words. I think this is the shortest so far? Let me get back to you on that soon. 

Warning: This is as smutty as I’m going to get for now. 

Recommended listening: Sorry if I’m going to ruin your thoughts on their song, but I did write this while listening repeatedly to it. 

–––

The longer Jaehyun and Essie went on with their trysts, the more it felt like a dream.

She lost count on what day it is – was it the third or fourth day? – as they made out on her couch.

Johnny was in Chicago while Mark was in London, so they were confident enough to do this at her apartment. Jaehyun felt that his soul was watching above their bodies and observing what it must feel like to have her as his.

“Oh Jay, please don’t stop,” she said breathlessly as he peppered kisses from her neck down to her collarbone. “No, I won’t, baby doll,” he murmured, his lips now at the edge of her shirt’s collar.

He thought that they would spend the days just hanging out and kissing, but it turned out to be a carnal affair. They couldn’t help but fuck each other, and then end the day acting like a regular couple.

They ended up naked on the couch, their clothes scattered on the floor. Before Jaehyun entered her, he lay above her and took in her naked glory with his hungry eyes. “You are so beautiful, Miss Jessica Park,” he breathed, his hands pinning her wrists down.

“And you are a beautiful man yourself, Jeong Yoon Oh,” she replied in the same manner, giving him a smile that made him pound her immediately with reckless abandon. It was the first time they were doing it without any protection, and damn the consequences for he wanted to feel her raw.

Her moans were music to his ears, and he loved it especially when she screamed his name.

“Scream for me more, baby,” he grunted, thrusting quicker inside her. “P…please Yoon Oh, fuck me some more,” she said, almost at her limit.

“I can’t hear you,” he taunted, his hands now snaking on her throat. “More, baby,” he pleaded, giving his all in thrusting into her.

She screamed his names loud and clear, forgetting that her neighbors might hear her screaming another name other than her boyfriend’s. Essie didn’t give a fuck right now – she had to admit that Jaehyun satisfied her sexual desires more than Johnny.

When they both came from their sexual highs, he peppered her whole body with kisses. “You are the best, Jay,” she said, arching her back a little so he could have more access to other areas of her body.

“Really? Am I better than Youngho?” He looked directly into her eyes as he asked this, hoping that she gives him a brutally honest answer.

“Oh, definitely,” she replied, one of her hands ruffling his hair. “You do me like nobody else.”

“I’m glad that you think that way, mon amour,” he said, kissing her inner thigh before hovering over her again. “Let’s take a shower, yes?” When she nodded, he pulled her up and carried her bridal style to the bathroom.

\\\

As much as they wanted to take a bath normally, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They had another round inside the shower stall, and unbeknownst to Essie, he came inside her. She couldn’t tell because they were both damp with soap and water, and she was exhausted.

He carried her again toward her bedroom (she still has a separate room in case she doesn’t want to sleep on Johnny’s bed) and both dressed each other. Jaehyun helped her get into a pink slip dress (and no underwear, of course), while Essie dressed him in a pair of boxer shorts and a black shirt.

“Loving you feels like I’m dreaming,” he sang to her as he caressed her cheek. “I can say the same too, darling,” she said, mimicking his action.

“I love you so much, and I wish you were mine for real,” he pressed his forehead on hers and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Oh ma cherie amour, je t'aime tellement que ça me fait mal.”

“Touché, mon cheri,” she replied softly, tilting his chin to look at her. “But I don’t want to think about reality right now. I want to be in this dream with you.”

He responded by kissing her, which felt more comforting than sensual. It was as if she was comforting him that he couldn’t have her, and the only thing he could do was just to give in for now.

–––

FIN

Did you find out the translation of Jay’s badly-translated French statement? 

JH (Part I)

So, I’m a bit behind my posting schedule. I’m sorry about that; you know how life can get in the way of things. But here we are again, focusing on my NCT 127 bias wrecker – Jeong Jaehyun.

Since he never looks terrible in his outfits and hair color, here’s a pink-haired GIF of Jay for your pleasure. It’s one of my favorite looks on him, and this era started wrecking me towards him. Oops!

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: Like the previous post, the pieces here were inspired by a prompt list by @neoculturedrabbles​.

POV: 2nd person for the first, 3rd person for the second. 

Word count: 1,400+ words

–––

Prompt #13: “Is that my towel?”

“…”

“Never mind, I’ll get it later.”

Aside from placing his dirty launder in your hamper, Jaehyun tends to use your stuff too. At first, it didn’t sit well with you, considering your other housemates did that as well. (Johnny and Mark loved using your bath products, especially your sandalwood soap.)

Eventually, after the first week of your stay in his apartment, you got used to it. However, it bothered you (a bit) when you spotted him using your towel.

When he emerged from the bathroom, you saw that your white and blue striped towel was wrapped around his torso. He didn’t mind showing you his abs, erm, torso, and you tried your best to avert your gaze at it. You focused on his face instead – it was a bit obscured from his damp hair. At least that was less distracting than his upper body.

“Is that my towel?” You started, your eyes focused on his face. You couldn’t tell what his reaction was since he shook his head to cover his face more (probably from shame).

He didn’t respond and stood still on his spot.

“Never mind, I’ll get it later. Please dry it off well,” you mumbled, walking away and heading straight to the balcony.

\\\

As you smoked your fourth stick for the day, you heard the balcony door slide open to reveal a fully-clothed Jaehyun about to dry the towel he used.

You immediately put out the cigarette and looked at him place it carefully over the drying rack. “What gives, and you had to use my towel, Jay?” You asked, making yourself comfortable on the patio chair.

“Sorry about that, Essie,” he turned to look at you with an apologetic smile, “but I tend to use the first towel that I see.”

You sighed at his response and stood up. “Next time, I’ll place your towel inside your bedroom, so you don’t use mine.” You patted his shoulder before leaving, but he held your hand to stop you.

“I’m really sorry, dear,” he whispered, looking at you with puppy eyes. You sighed again because you knew what would happen next. “I’ll make it up to you, okay? I’ll treat you to coffee.”

“Okay, fine. You know my usual, right?”

“Yeah, do I need to say it out loud?”

“Nope, I’m confident that you know it by heart.”

Your response got a giggle out of him, and he let go of your hand so you could return inside.

Why must he always bribe you with your favorite things so you can forgive him for his forgetfulness? You thought, wrinkling your nose at the thought of just going along with his plans.

But you like it anyway; you like it when he spoils you like that.

“Shut up, brain,” you mumbled to yourself before settling on the couch with your phone.

///

Prompt #16: “My ex is over there. Can you kiss me?” 

Tonight was a cliché waiting to unfold: Essie was in a house party where she’s bound to see her ex from centuries ago.

The host of the said party was a common friend of theirs but also a friend of her new buddies Johnny, Jaehyun, and Mark to name a few.

The party was to celebrate this friend’s milestone of moving abroad for a job opportunity of a lifetime.

Although the presence of Essie’s ex has not yet been confirmed, there is always a possibility that he will be there.

As she wove her way through the crowd, she noticed that Jaehyun was waving enthusiastically at her from a corner. She spotted that he had a drink on one hand, making her wonder where the hell the drinks could be.

The party wasn’t jam-packed, yet there was already a considerable crowd inside. She rushed through the brunette’s side, who was drinking a glass of red wine.

“Hey Jay,” she greeted, exchanging bisous with him. That was how they always greeted each other, anytime and anywhere. He returned it, his free hand squeezing hers.

“Glad you could come to this party,” he started, before taking a sip from his wine, “I thought I was the only one coming here.”

“Where’s John?” She asked, eyes scanning the room for the tall guy. As her eyes roamed for a moment, she didn’t notice that Jaehyun’s eyes darkened at the mention of his friend.

“He might not come; he had important errands to run,” he said, throwing his head back to disguise the fact that he was miffed with her question.

“Okay then…so let’s try to have fun here then?” Essie held out her other hand to him, which he took, and both of them went to the kitchen to get more drinks.

They chatted over wine and beer before they busted their dance moves with the rest of the crowd near the pool. People cheered for them when they did a spicy couple dance (bordering on dirty dancing) and howled even more when they recreated a pop idol’s famous choreography.

Essie’s carefree attitude didn’t last long after they were done dancing – she spotted her ex from afar talking to a girl in a skimpy outfit.

This prompted her to look at her clothing – a long-sleeved crop top, a pair of harem pants, and combat boots – and groaned when she realized what she was doing. So what if she wasn’t showing off her assets? He wouldn’t come back to her anymore, nor should she let him back in her life.

But before she could turn her eyes away from her ex, he spotted her. Panic was written all over her face as she turned to Jaehyun, who sensed her agitation. The guy wasn’t able to say anything as the words that came out of her mouth surprised him.

“My ex is over there. Can you kiss me?”

He was hesitant to grant her request at first but then realized that it was time to hit two birds with one stone – do what she was told and subtly let her know that he was into her.

So he did and pecked her on the lips.

The girl was surprised at his action but went along with it when he pressed his lips further. The peck didn’t even last a minute, but she hoped that her ex saw it so he wouldn’t dare confront her anymore.

After all, it was she who broke up with him. He had no right to claim her back for the things he did. He should understand that she was moving on just fine.

However, Jaehyun heard her wrong. Since they were in a crowded place where the music was about to ruin their eardrums, what she actually said was: “My ex is over there. Can you hide me?”

Add to that her small and soft voice – it was shocking that most of her friends don’t misunderstand her words…until now.

Essie was expecting that Jaehyun will lead her out of the area and resume their drinking session inside, but life likes to throw curveballs sometimes.

The two were left dumbfounded at what happened. “Jay…why did you kiss me?” The girl asked cautiously.

“You told me to?”

Her eyes widened, and her mouth hung open with his statement.

“No, Jay! I didn’t tell you that! What I said was, can you hide me?”

Ah, he heard all right now. His face warmed up at the realization that he misheard her, and suddenly, he couldn’t look her in the eyes. He covered his face with his hands, mumbling what an idiot he is.

“Oh no, Jay! Please don’t do this to yourself,” Essie whispered, holding him by the shoulders. “You misheard me, it’s fine. I’m not mad with what you did…”

“You liked it?” His answer shocked her again, making her clutch her chest.

“Jeong Jaehyun!” She shook both of his shoulders vigorously, which didn’t bother him at all as he chuckled at her reaction.

“I could do that again if you like.”

It took the girl a moment to respond. “Maybe when I see him near me again, I’ll let you.”

“That’s my girl,” Jaehyun closed the small distance between them by wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead. “We can pretend to be together; there’s no one aside from our common friend who knows us here.”

Essie raised an eyebrow at him, wondering where he got his bravado. “You’re awfully bold tonight, sir.”

“It must be the alcohol,” he glanced at the empty beer bottles on top of a nearby table, “shall we get another round, dear?”

“I never thought you’d ask,” she giggled, taking his hand in hers, and together they walked back to the house holding hands.

–––

FIN

Burnout

Hey.

I know what you might be thinking. Why only now. Or finally. Or why I had the nerve to do this when I had already left.

This isn’t easy for me, but you probably don’t care about that. I know you don’t deserve what I did to you. Or anyone else. No one deserves to be left alone without any warning.

I loved you, Y/N. But I was too afraid to tell you what I really felt after our work trip to that resort. That’s why I did what I did. I left, and I tried to remove all traces of you in my life.

But here I am, writing this letter and sending all the videos and pictures I have of you. It’s up to you if you want to keep them or burn them. We both deserve closure, and this is mine.

I sincerely apologize that I’ve hurt you so badly, but I can never take that back by being with you again. I doubt that you’ll give me another chance. But please hear me out for one last time by telling you the reasons why I decided to vanish from your life.

---

Summary: Y/N recalls her last great relationship, and it comes back to her unexpectedly when she returns to her hometown. Will she rekindle the flames she had with Johnny Suh, or will she remain with Jeong Jaehyun, the man who made her love again?

COMING SOON.

Dangerous, B-side

Listening to the same song repeatedly can give you different outputs, but this was my initial draft to Dangerous.

I still wanted to share this since I like the tension between Essie and Jaehyun here, so I hope you enjoy this one.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 2nd person

Word count: 1,040 words (Wow, it's longer than what I've been writing lately lol)

Additional notes: Like with the previous post, I'll be linking some writing that connects to this one.

Warning: Suggestive themes ahead!

---

You knew it would be dangerous to be near Jeong Jaehyun.

You knew the power he held – he was one of the most handsome men you’ve met, and you knew you could give in to anything he asked you to do.

At first, you didn’t really mind him. You were focused on turning down the flirtatious attempts of his best friend, Johnny Suh, who decided to let you know how memorable you were to him when he saw you in Starbucks.

But when you and Johnny decided to become friends, Jaehyun was the first person in his circle of friends that you got to know better.

He was the perfect gentleman, and you appreciated that. You thought he would be a cocky bastard who would use his handsome privileges.

As you got to know more of Johnny’s friends, you didn’t get to hang around Jaehyun that much. But when you did, you started to feel weird around him. Were his looks and gestures getting to you?

You were conflicted since you were also starting to develop feelings for Johnny, despite the not-so-ideal start of your friendship.

You never thought you would feel like this again – falling for two people at the same time. It was bad, but in the end, it was your choice on who you wanted to get together with.

One of the most unforgettable moments you had with Jaehyun was when he kissed you at a party. Your ex was one of the attendees, and you asked him to hide you. He misheard you and pecked you on the lips.

You couldn’t remember what happened after – were you too drunk to recall if you two have already done it? You shut your eyes, trying to recall as much as you could. No, your body didn’t ache when you got home, and you had a good night’s rest.

As you watched Jaehyun grill meat with Taeyong, you couldn’t help but think if you ended up with him instead.

You had shared interests – you loved vinyl records, and you loved drinking wine. You liked his music selection better than Johnny’s, and he was very chill to talk to. He seemed such a calm person who would perfectly complement your feisty personality.

“Penny for your thoughts, Essie?” He asked, flashing you his trademark dimpled smile. “Oh, it’s nothing,” you mumbled, looking away to recover from the embarrassment you felt at looking at him for too long.

“Hey baby, can you help me with this?” You heard Johnny ask from across the room, and you crossed over to where he was. You were thankful he asked you for help because you needed to distract yourself from such tempting thoughts.

You had dinner with Johnny and his friends in your apartment since it’s been a while since all of them got together. Almost everyone had solo projects, and most of them got back to the country recently.

“If someone deserves a solo, it’s you,” Johnny said to Jaehyun, pointing his chopsticks for emphasis.

“Yeah, we agree,” Taeyong and Doyoung chimed in. Everyone else in the room nodded in approval, even you.

Oh, the thought of Jaehyun singing sexy R’n’B songs excited you so much that you felt the familiar wetness on your underwear.

You cursed yourself at this thought and decided to eat more kimchi to forget that sensation.

“Thanks, guys. Maybe soon, I’ll get that project,” Jaehyun said, ears red with embarrassment. Since he was sitting beside you, you were tempted to stroke his red ear and feel how hot it was.

“I’m sure you will; we just have to wait,” you squeaked, slowly looking up from the bowl you have been focusing your attention on.

“Aw, thanks. That means a lot to me, Essie,” his voice was so soft that you thought you were the only one who heard it. Maybe it was really meant for you.

When you looked up from your bowl, he gave you a heartwarming smile. You smiled back, and he touched your wrist. “I look forward to your support, dear,” he whispered.

You could only nod at his response, your body heating up from his touch. You looked away again to see if anyone was observing your interaction but saw that everyone else was involved in their conversations.

It was as if the world stopped, and only you and Jaehyun were having this intimate conversation.

“You keep on looking away from me tonight; is there something on my face that you don’t want to tell me?”

You didn’t expect his words, and when you looked back at him, he tightened the grip on your wrist.

“No, there isn’t anything wrong with your face, Jay! What makes you think there is?” You were beyond flustered, and you could feel your breathing become ragged.

“You aren’t usually like this when we talk,” he loosened his grip now, “and I like it better when the people I talk to can look at me directly on the face.”

You sat up straight and stared at his face. You saw the bags on his under eyes becoming darker and the pimple patches around his nose. When he smiled, you saw there was one more pimple patch underneath his lip.

“Well, fine. You look stressed. I believe you don’t get pimples, yet here you are, wearing pimple patches to a dinner.” You deadpanned, pointing at the patches around his face.

He laughed at your words and swatted your hand away. “It’s normal to have pimples, but I never thought I’d start breaking out now.”

“Don’t be too stressed. You know it’s bad for the health,” you said before going back to eating. “You should take your advice too, honey,” Jaehyun chuckled and mimicked what you were doing.

You rolled your eyes as he also reached for the plate of meat you were holding. “Yeah, you don’t have to remind me of that. Now please, can I have some meat?”

“Jaehyun! Are you teasing Essie?” You heard Johnny comment, probably because he saw how irked you were. Jaehyun let go of the plate of meat and watched you take it for yourself.

No one answered Johnny’s question, and the night continued with everyone catching up on their endeavors.

---

FIN

P.S. That was a lame-ass ending, but my mind stopped working after that. I had to get the tension out of the way hehe.

Guilty

Dear. M made me do this. I'm posting the Jaehyun content I have written so far, and I will continue to write more.

For context, this brain fart is part of the main timeline.

There's something about an angry and heartbroken Jay that makes me want to write more...

Anyway, mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 3rd person

Word count: 890 approx.

Additional notes: I'm glad I could write the other 127 members in, especially Yuta. I'll make it a goal to include the rest of NCT in my stories when applicable.

---

Yuta felt sorry about how Jaehyun turned out after Essie called off their affair.

When Jaehyun came home from his solo project, he smoked and drank consistently after his schedule. Sometimes he drank whiskey in the mornings and decided to have a pack of cigarettes for breakfast. It was unfortunate that he coped in this way. Although it’s one of the many ways people do so, it is destructive in the long run. Yuta had to intervene; hence, he knew everything there was to know about this week-long rendezvous.

While he took it all in stride, he felt uneasy in knowing what would be one of the dirty open secrets the group now has.

As he watched Jaehyun singing his feelings out in the karaoke booth, he glanced at Taeil. The eldest in the group seemed unaffected by the situation as he flipped through the songbook, looking for another song to sing. It was just the three of them this time – Mark was busy as always, and Jungwoo had more hosting gigs these days.

“Fuck this shit,” Jaehyun growled, yanking the collar of his shirt angrily, “why can’t I still get over her?”

“Let it all out, bro,” Taeil said calmly, scanning intently for the number of the song he wanted to sing. “You’ll get over her eventually.”

“You know, Jay,” Yuta started, “Things are going to be different now, especially if Johnny figures out what you did with his girl.”

“I don’t care,” the youngest groaned, throwing himself on the sofa. “This fucking sucks.”

“Both of you are adults who made this choice, so you’ve got to live with it,” Yuta’s tone was firmer this time. “But that was very dumb of you, Jeong Yoonoh. Why did you even propose that idea to Essie?”

The sound of glass shattering on the floor startled the two older guys, and they saw Jaehyun had just flung the glass of water on the wall. He covered his face afterward, hiding the angry tears flowing on his face.

“You little shit,” Taeil grumbled, looking at the mess he made. “You have to pay for that.”

Jaehyun’s actions were getting on Yuta’s nerves, but he didn’t want to make a commotion. He took deep breaths to calm himself down, not wanting to engage in his friend’s bullshit.

A moment of awkward silence ensued before the heartbroken man spoke. “I thought she liked me. I thought she would choose me. I thought once I have her, I’d stop fooling around.”

Taeil and Yuta looked at each other, loss for words on what to say. They weren’t involved, nor would they like to be involved, in Jaehyun’s affairs. Each had their own lives once the cameras were off, and they tried their best not to get entangled in another’s business.

“You know what, Jay?” The eldest said, sporting a wicked grin on his face. “To make up for your shitty behavior tonight, I’d like you to sing this song with all the emotion you have.”

Like an obedient younger brother, Jaehyun stood beside his hyung and put in the numbers of the requested song. Yuta raised an eyebrow at them both, with Taeil holding his laughter.

“What are you up to?” the Japanese guy mouthed to his former roommate as the singer immersed himself in the song he was about to sing.

“As I’ve said earlier, he has to let it all out.”

When the iconic saxophone intro of George Michael’s (formerly of Wham!) infamous song played from the speakers, Yuta rolled his eyes at Taeil’s suggestion.

Jaehyun gave a memorable performance of the song despite his vocals sounding a bit strained due to all the crying and screaming he did for the past few weeks.

It was during the bridge part that he almost lost it.

“We could have been so good together; we could have lived this dance forever. But now who’s gonna dance with me? Please stay,” the tears pooled once again in his eyes.

The memories were still too fresh for him to forget. Fucking Essie felt so good, and he never wanted to be apart from her. They had intimate dances under the stars and by the shore. It felt surreal, but alas, all good things come to an end. It might be good for him, but it shouldn’t be.

Once he was done singing, he kept to himself on the sofa. His hyungs took their turns singing, and he watched them enjoy what they were doing.

From time to time, Yuta checked in on Jaehyun. It was always the same when they went out to karaoke bars: he would stay still, his eyes looking at nothing until the booze hit him and made him fall asleep.

Every so often, he would wake up and not speak a word until they go off in their respective rooms, or they would have to haul his ass back to his apartment.

This was getting tiring, seeing his downward spiral into depression. Yuta, known for his wise words, knew what they did was wrong. They should be held accountable for their actions. He bet both parties are hot messes right now, but he’s more concerned about Johnny. The tall guy might not take it if he learns about this rendezvous.

Everyone knows no one wants to mess with an angry Johnny Suh.

---

FIN

P.S. Did you expect I was going to let him sing Careless Whisper? Feel free to listen to it below! I think Jaehyun can pull this off flawlessly.

He.

Before I disappear again for a while, it's about time Burnout got some update.

I feel so crushed I won't be able to watch my boys this weekend to the point I might forget all my feelings for them. Yeah, I'm a dramatic bitch.

Maybe I need a break from them and other things in life. But for now, enjoy this Jaehyun-centered piece.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 2nd person

Word count: 2,290 approx.

Additional notes: Italics are Y/N's thoughts.

---

Maybe it’s time to fall in love again. 

It has been what, two or three years? You couldn’t remember exactly how long your last (and probably greatest) relationship was. It felt like an eternity ago. 

You felt you changed so much, but at the same time you also felt like the same old person. Did that make sense to anyone?  

As Mark Lee pushed you toward his bandmates, you couldn’t help but feel both annoyed and nervous. He was adamant that you meet his crew since you’ll be hanging around them more often, but he kept slapping your back like an excited seal. You tried your best not to wince at his slaps and keep smiling for the sake of not leaving a bad first impression. 

The main point of Mark wanting you to meet his bandmates was for you to be in a relationship again. He knew his friends were good-looking – he is too, but he won’t admit that straight out – and maybe you’ll want to stay in this place longer. 

“Mark, that’s enough. She’ll have a sore back with what you’re doing,” a black-haired guy with a baritone voice said, and when you looked at him, you felt more nervous than annoyed. 

He was handsome. You knew your eyes would be on him all night. Your heart fluttered when he smiled at you, and you bowed your head in response. 

“Sorry about that. You know how I am when I’m excited,” Mark giggled, before he tilted you to face his friends. “Hey guys, this is Y/N. She’s my childhood best friend, and we reconnected last year when she moved here.” 

You waved and introduced yourself, and everyone seemed delighted to meet you. Mark’s bandmates consisted of Hendery, their drummer and standup comic in the making, Jeno, their bassist and veterinarian, and Jaehyun, that guy whose looks have already captivated you. 

He shares guitar duties with Mark, but he also serves as the main vocalist of the group. He works in marketing, which isn’t far from the industry you were in. Mark used to work in the same team as him, but your best friend quit when he realized he wanted to focus on his music and other artistic pursuits. 

“Y/N. That’s a beautiful name,” Jaehyun said, smiling at you again. Your eyes focused on his dimples and how his eyes almost turned into crescents. 

“Thank you, Jaehyun. Yours too,” you mumbled, looking at the floor to hide how flustered you were. 

“Call me Jay instead.” When you looked back at him, he held his hand out for you to shake. You took it, and he gripped your hand tightly. “I look forward to getting to know you more.”

///

“Is he really like that, dude?” You asked Mark when you watched Jaehyun converse with a couple of girls after their performance. 

“What do you mean?” Your best friend raised an eyebrow at you, not sure what you were getting at. 

“Does he flirt with every female in the planet?” Your eyes were drawn again to the girls who were giggling at whatever he said, and he was smiling all throughout.

“He’s very friendly, I must say…” Mark also observed the scene across him. “But you know that friendliness can be misunderstood as flirting. Especially to the ladies. Which you are telling me right now.”

You slapped his arm in response. “I was just curious! It seems like every girl would fall in love with him in an instant.” 

“Are you jealous that you’re not the one he’s talking to?” You didn’t expect the guy beside you to be that frank. He was usually the one that kept the conversation going in circles. 

You slapped his arm again. “Bold of you to assume that, Mark Lee.” 

“Well, I did see how you looked at him though! So, will he be the one who’s going to make you fall in love again?” Your best friend nudged you repeatedly and made silly hooting sounds. 

You pinched his sides this time. “Why are you so hung up on me having a relationship with someone? You know that I’m not looking for anyone right now.” 

Mark’s answer stuck with you: “Because you deserve it. You deserve to be loved. Your heart deserves to be healed from its trauma, and aside from yourself, maybe someone else can teach you how to love again.” 

You let the chatter inside the bar drown the thoughts you didn’t want to think about now. 

///

You were getting along with Mark’s band mates just fine. No one made a move at you, and you were hoping your best friend didn’t tell them about his plan for you. 

All of them were gorgeous, but there was something about Jaehyun that your eyes kept gravitating to. You liked to observe him in your mind: his ears turn red when he is shy or embarrassed, he has pronounced canines, and he has a deep, hearty laugh that Mark liked to copy. 

You weren’t in love yet. Maybe you have a silly, harmless crush on him now. He hasn’t done anything to you that will top the things your ex has done for you. 

Speaking of the devil, your mind wondered about that asshole briefly. Where could he be right now? 

“Hey daydreamer,” an angel whispered next to you, and next thing you know a bottle of beer was placed on your hands by Jaehyun. “Care to share your thoughts?”

“Oh. Sorry, I was out of it,” you chuckled, readjusting the bottle about to slip from your hand, “I tend to do that often when I’m left alone. I’m sure most of us do that?” 

“Here, let me help you,” he took the beer bottle from your hands and placed one of his hands over yours. Your mind noted his hand felt warm. It made your insides feel warm as well. The hand on top of yours adjusted your fingers to hold the cold bottle, and you can now hold your beverage properly. 

You whispered your thanks, and he smiled in return. “And you already know what I drink!” You checked the bottle again in your hands to see that it was your usual lager. 

“I might not look like it, but I’m observant,” Jaehyun toasted his bottle with yours before you two drank in unison. “It’s been a few weeks since we got acquainted, and I noticed that you always order that.” 

“Great catch then,” you giggled, taking another swig of your beer. He was now seated beside you as you watched other bands perform in the bar. You didn’t have a moment like this yet, and you were a bit afraid of what might happen next. 

“Isn’t that you?” You heard him say, but when you asked him to repeat what he said, he just laughed. “Forget it. I was making a joke.” 

He might be flirting with you, but you might also be overthinking what he said. The night is still young, and there are still many things that could happen. 

///

That fateful evening, as your mind liked to call it, was the start of your blossoming friendship with Jaehyun. 

After he handed you that beer and sat beside you while watching bands in the bar, it has become a part of his routine to do so. He would talk to you about anything and everything when the show was over. 

“There are other girls you could sit with. I won’t mind,” you told him after finishing your second bottle of beer. You eyed the girls in a nearby table who weren’t shy looking at your seatmate. 

“I’m not interested, and I feel comfortable here. These are nice seats to watch the bands, you know?” He gestured to the stage, where a man was playing a saxophone. 

“That’s fair,” you grabbed another beer bottle from the bucket in the middle of the table, “and darn it if I don’t get good seats to watch the bands.” 

You beamed at him for your minor accomplishment, which he returned by squeezing your hand. This was unexpected. You shook your head to clear your head from assumptive thoughts. 

“Are you okay?” He squeezed your hand again. You nodded, trying to relax from his grip. “We can get out of here if you don’t feel well.” 

You might be hearing things, or you might be misunderstanding them again. Why are you so opposed to liking someone else? The rational part of your mind questioned, which you ignored. 

“I’m fine, Jay. No need to worry about me,” you smiled, hoping that reassured him. “Can you let go of my hand now?”

But when he didn’t respond and stared at your face intently, you gulped. Maybe your thoughts were headed in the right direction, only you stopped them from forming inside your mind. You can’t fall in love just yet. 

“What if I don’t want to?” 

You swore his voice became deeper. You could only stare at your hand in his grasp. He tightened his hold before letting go and running his fingers over yours. 

“What do you want from me?” 

Your voice sounded small and afraid, which was opposite to your intentions. Being the observant person he is, he sensed that you were uncomfortable. He took his hand off yours hesitantly and placed it on his lap. 

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable with that. It’s just…” he scratched behind his neck, a sign of nervousness, “I like you. There, I said it.”

His ears were red with his sudden confession, and you felt your cheeks have turned in the same hue. This was too good to be true, right? 

“I like being around you. I enjoy our conversations after the shows, and I learn a lot from you,” he continued when you didn’t say anything, “And I hope we can continue that not just here, but elsewhere.”

The rest of the world has become blurred to you except Jaehyun. You watched him tell you more about what he liked about you at this point, and the way he shyly looked up at you made you feel fuzzy inside. 

Go for it. Let him in. Maybe it’s time to fall in love again. 

The rational part of your mind – are you sure it’s the rational side? – told you, and it felt like it was déjà vu. You’ve heard that line somewhere already. 

You took a deep breath, hoping that moment helped collect your thoughts. You faced him confidently, saying: “I like you too, Jay. I would want to go beyond what we’re having now.” 

\\\

Have you found love again for real this time? 

You asked yourself this while embracing Jaehyun.

You were still in disbelief that things between the two of you flowed wonderfully. You agreed to see each other exclusively, and before you knew it, it had been more than six months since you got together. 

You buried your head on the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. You always felt comforted with his presence, and you couldn’t imagine life without him now. 

You had a hard day at work, and when you went home to the apartment you shared, you searched for him immediately. 

He was in your bedroom, listening to one of your favorite LPs while he scrolled through his phone. But when he saw how distressed you were, he stood up to engulf you in a hug. 

It had been a couple of minutes since you embraced, and none of you wanted to pull apart. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He asked, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine. God, his voice was something you couldn’t imagine not hearing. 

“Work,” you croaked, tightening your hold on him. “Will it make you feel better if you tell me about it?” He carried you to the bed and placed you gently beside him. 

Was it all too fast? Are you sure you’re in love? 

Your mind bothered you again with another silly question. You were enjoying the warmth from Jaehyun’s body as both of you cuddled on the bed. 

It was another horrible day at work, and he listened to your woes. He held you in his arms as you whined and cried. 

Deep inside, you felt horrible. Things are going to become a terrible routine for you two if you keep doing this. He can’t always solve everything. 

You shook your head at your thoughts and noticed that his sleeve was damp. Crap, you cried again. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” His voice was gentle even though he was worried. You looked up to see sincerity etched on his face. You cried even more, feeling like a mess that could not get fixed. 

You should be happy that you’re with someone again. He might be The One, you know?

Another voice in your head made itself known, and it sounded chipper. You wiped your tears on the back of your hand to look at your boyfriend. 

Many girls would kill to be in your position. You had already written a novel on all his great qualities in the recesses of your mind. But maybe, it will help if you could re-read that to remind yourself you were a damn lucky bitch. 

“I’m sorry I keep on crying, Jay…” you mumbled, burying your face into his shoulder. “Maybe I’m about to have my period,” you reasoned, chuckling at the absurdity of your reason. 

“I understand,” he kissed the top of your head. “What do you want for dinner?” 

His question sparked joy inside you, and the mopey girl from minutes ago disappeared. Food is the way to anyone’s heart. Any partner should know that by now. 

How could you be uncontended with this? 

---

FIN

P.S. There's a part of me that finds the progression of their love story a bit fast, but please let me know what you think.