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I cling on to your every word,

Your every expression, sigh, whisper,

I desperately try to learn,

All of your mannerisms, gestures, features,

I hit send and I tremble awaiting your response,

I overthink our interactions when they’ve long passed,

My anxiety builds until the weight is too much to bear,

And you continue the torture without a single care.

Mercilessly, I throw daggers at everyone around me,

I carve my “confidence” into my surroundings

And cut anyone that ever doubted me.

Carelessly, my sharp tongue slices wounds into others,

Until my blade is used so frequently it dulls

And you can’t tell the difference between it

And a bitter breeze.

But my own sharp tongue cuts my mouth,

And I choke on my words until my throat bleeds,

My wounds never heal and they keep getting deeper,

Until I can hardly feel anything.

No matter how hard I try to stop,

I lose every battle against myself

And my relentless words will continue to cut,

Until none of my “self” remains.

I was wondering why you two began to effortlessly blend,

You both seemed to constantly go hand in hand,

It troubled me for weeks,

Was there something wrong with me

That forbade me from entering your sacred ring?

Then it all came to fruition,

An epiphany at midnight, as sweet and natural as birds first flight;

The toxic group together with incredible might,

What better way for you to wallow in self-pity,

Than to gather in small numbers and complain about how you’re living?

So I’ve decided that I won’t let it trouble me any longer,

And for that I believe I am much stronger.

The hardest thing is feeling you everywhere.

I see your reflection in my morning coffee,

I feel your warmth in the summer breeze,

I hear your whispers in my favourite songs,

But I still can’t find you.

Hanahaki disease

Heaving, The flutter in my lungs grows each time I inhale. Choking, It's enamouring flocculence rises up my throat as my face turns pale. Coughing, Its softness caresses the inside of my mouth as its scent infatuates my senses. Spluttering, It reveals its scarlet shade from the corner of my lips, prohibiting denial-filled sentences. Gagging, The clusters of sweetness drift forward, spilling themselves onto floor. Crying, The petals have made me breathless once more. Weeping, They could make the prettiest rose ever cited. Sobbing, But they'll never flow together, because this is Unrequited.

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Giuls