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I cling on to your every word,

Your every expression, sigh, whisper,

I desperately try to learn,

All of your mannerisms, gestures, features,

I hit send and I tremble awaiting your response,

I overthink our interactions when they’ve long passed,

My anxiety builds until the weight is too much to bear,

And you continue the torture without a single care.

The familiar emptiness blooms from my chest, I'll keep crumbling until there's nothing left, Until all I am is a bittersweet memory, Maybe then, you'd think to remember me. Since the beginning I've been collecting the pieces, I've been fixing all of you, battling all of your demons, But when did you ever consider how I would feel? Inflicting damage nonchalantly, you never cared about me. I've always been here so you've never had to worry, You've never thought to hold your tongue in front of me, So don't be surprised when I leave all of you behind, When I finally make my life mine.

My Ship pt 2

I halted all expeditions and ended my adventures,

I threw my anchor overboard and stilled my ship,

I flung my caution to the wind and promised I’d never turn back,

I abandoned my freedom so I could feel security with you.

But when I left my ship unattended to enjoy this island paradise,

You slashed my sails and destroyed my masts,

You were like a parasite.

If that photo doesn’t terrify you then you don’t understand what’s going on

This photo is more threatening than the ones where they were being pulled out of their chairs and zip tied

My Ship pt 1

I traversed the stormy sea day and night,

I felt the wind in my hair, the salt on my tongue and had no plight,

I set course to wherever the wind blew me,

And after years of not knowing what home is,

I decided I’d try and find an island,

A safe haven, with golden sands and shallow, peaceful waters

So I found you.

“These two events can occur simultaneously. Being happy with what you have and who you are whilst wanting to improve upon your life and yourself. You’re allowed to be content and discontent, satisfied and unsatisfied, appreciative and longing. It may seem contradictory, but it’s not. You have to know what you currently have to know what you want. And if you don’t value what you have now, you’ll never value what you gain.”

-Happy New Year