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My Ship pt 3

So when I was forced to flee,

To escape your toxic clutches,

I left half of what I was,

With my ship destroyed and rusted.

A cautionary tale for young travellers at sea,

Do not stop at any nearby beach,

Your trust will be exploited and your kindness betrayed,

Remain free on the sea for all your days.

My Ship pt 2

I halted all expeditions and ended my adventures,

I threw my anchor overboard and stilled my ship,

I flung my caution to the wind and promised I’d never turn back,

I abandoned my freedom so I could feel security with you.

But when I left my ship unattended to enjoy this island paradise,

You slashed my sails and destroyed my masts,

You were like a parasite.

My Ship pt 1

I traversed the stormy sea day and night,

I felt the wind in my hair, the salt on my tongue and had no plight,

I set course to wherever the wind blew me,

And after years of not knowing what home is,

I decided I’d try and find an island,

A safe haven, with golden sands and shallow, peaceful waters

So I found you.

I was wondering why you two began to effortlessly blend,

You both seemed to constantly go hand in hand,

It troubled me for weeks,

Was there something wrong with me

That forbade me from entering your sacred ring?

Then it all came to fruition,

An epiphany at midnight, as sweet and natural as birds first flight;

The toxic group together with incredible might,

What better way for you to wallow in self-pity,

Than to gather in small numbers and complain about how you’re living?

So I’ve decided that I won’t let it trouble me any longer,

And for that I believe I am much stronger.

God

I thought that you were perfect,

Perfect for me,

And that we were a perfect combination

But now I see.

When you wronged me, I tried to look inwards to decipher,

What I had failed to do, what made me unlikeable.

But I was foolish and naive to believe that you were flawless,

And like a false icon, I clung to you for guidance.

Not a single apology was expected of you and it was my fault,

I treated you like some twisted domestic god,

So now it’s my time to accept our flaws,

And destroy the pedestal I placed you upon.

Reply

I cling on to your every word,

Your every expression, sigh, whisper,

I desperately try to learn,

All of your mannerisms, gestures, features,

I hit send and I tremble awaiting your response,

I overthink our interactions when they’ve long passed,

My anxiety builds until the weight is too much to bear,

And you continue the torture without a single care.

- I hardly recognised you.

Was it really you? The one I was convinced that I’d lost all those years ago? Your lustrous black hair ran down your shoulders and tickled your biceps. That skin; so soft and pure that whilst your skin lay so smooth, your jaw was prominent and sharp - like you were. “This is almost déjà vu” I chuckled to myself. Ten years ago, I stood right here. Miserable. Miserable that you’d left me. When you left me, my whole world turned upside down - like my smile. The smile which previously illuminated my face had now done what you did best; left me when I needed it most. This feeling was all to familiar so it had to be you. Despite my irrefutable thoughts, one question still circled my mind like current in a circuit. Was it really you?

“These two events can occur simultaneously. Being happy with what you have and who you are whilst wanting to improve upon your life and yourself. You’re allowed to be content and discontent, satisfied and unsatisfied, appreciative and longing. It may seem contradictory, but it’s not. You have to know what you currently have to know what you want. And if you don’t value what you have now, you’ll never value what you gain.”

-Happy New Year

I

I smile.

Shoulders square, back straight, feet planted firmly in the ground.

If I squint slightly when I laugh it’s more believable.

They won’t notice.

I speak.

Voice loud, strong, pitch low, it bellows through the room.

If I raise my voice on every-other syllable it sounds more believable.

They won’t notice.

I move.

Averagely-paced, deliberate movements, flowing slightly.

If I lean forward with purpose as I walk it looks more believable.

They won’t notice.

I’m getting better.

They never notice, they never will.

I’m fine. Really.

No one would suspect me,

Because I’m the best actress alive,

That’s the only thing I’m certain of.

So when I say I’m fine,

They believe me.

And now, they don’t even ask.

This blog did not and will not send requests for bitcoin donations.

There seems to be a virus or some sort of malware going around causing blogs to “send out” chat messages to blogs that they follow asking for help with the purchase of certain items through donations of seemingly small amounts using bitcoin and adds a link to the message.

The message goes as following (at least the first message I got went like this): “Hi there buddy. I need help, I’m trying to buy a laptop and I can’t afford it. I’m about 0.36$ short, and I’d really appreciate if you could help me and transfer some money to me via bitcoin using this *link*.”

The small details in the message seems to have a few variations with the greeting, amount and purchased item showing up in different variations from formal to friendly, from 0.016 to 2$ and from a phone case to a laptop among others.

The blogs that are affected send out the messages to blogs that they follow for a long time mostly, so you are most likely to receive the message from a long time, active follower whose name you might recognize or a mutual etc. The blogs that are affected are not spam bots but actual active followers who follow the recipient for months or years and most likely the blogger who “sent” the message is unaware of the message being sent.

DO NOT OPEN THE LINK.

Opening up the link will cause the virus to spread even more and infect your computer/mobile with any sort of malware.

If you have received a message of that sort from this blog please know that it was not sent by me or within my control and ignore/delete the message without clicking the link.

“You need to consider everyone. Someone you think is your lowest standard could secretly be the best thing to happen to you.”

Moonythemoose and Bipshanu collaboration

The hardest thing is feeling you everywhere.

I see your reflection in my morning coffee,

I feel your warmth in the summer breeze,

I hear your whispers in my favourite songs,

But I still can’t find you.

VOTE FOR BEST BLOG OF 2017!

As I said before, I made a new poll and it should only allow one vote per person since it tracks your IP address, so there shouldn’t be any problem! Let me know if there are! The voting will be closed at 9.00 pm (CET time) on November 14. Follow THIS LINK to vote for your favorite blog and best of luck to everyone!

Giuls

Thank you for selecting me! ❤️

VOTE FOR BEST BLOG OF 2017!

20 lucky bloggers were selected and now YOU can decide which one is worthy of the title of Best Blog of 2017! You can vote for as many times as you want (and yes, you can vote for yourself, but that kinda kills the spirit of this, right? but anyway, i won’t judge lol) so follow THIS LINK and vote for your favorite blog!!

And may the odds be ever in your favor! =)

❤️❤️❤️

THE RESULTS ARE IN!

Hey guys! The time you all have been waiting for is finally here, it’s the final countdown! *tarataraaaa*

Jokes aside, I used a random number generator and 20 lucky numbers were selected! If you see your blog in this list, it means you have access to the second round, where people can vote for your blog! If you don’t, I’m really sorry. Remember this is just a game, you are still awesome and it will go better next time!

Sooooo…. *drumrolls* the 20 selected blogs are:

@justfangstvdto

@justanotherwritingblog

@indarrathepoet

@evneirophrenia

@apivorovs

@randomguywithwords

@ewvyx

@moonythemoose

@we-were-gyrffindor-divergents

@poetryandbooks-universe

@dhaarna 

@thesilentgazer

@colddesire

@inkytower

@jamalscmidt

@writerscreed

@wordslifeandthings

@writingwalkingcontradiction

@theheightofdepression

@astyze

Congrats y’all!!!! Look for my next post for the poll you can share with your friends so they can vote for you! 45 people participated to this little game and I’m overwhelmed by the love and excitement you’ve showed me, I hope you are having fun and maybe we can host this kind of things again in the future!

Good luck,

Giuls

GIULS’ BLOG AWARDS!

Hey y’all! A little while ago @sarahmariepardy came up with the brilliant idea of hosting blog awards, so I decided to borrow her idea and hosting our own awards! There will be only one category: Blog of 2017 because i’m a lazy fuck but everyone can participate! There will be two rounds: the first one where everyone can apply and they will get a number. Once I have all the nominees, I will select 20 random numbers and the winner blogs will have access to the second round, which is the one where people can vote for you! The rules are simple:

Follow me

Reblog this post, so I know you want to participate and you will get a number (likes count as bookmark)

Writing blogs are preferred but I won’t say no if you have a different type of blog! What are you going to win? Well….. eternal glory? An accomplishment you can brag about with your friends? You can ask me if you have a particular request and I’ll see what I can do about it!

So, I hope that you dig the ideas and that many of you will participate. Remember it’s just a game, so don’t take it too hard if you don’t win. You have till November 6 to reblog & apply. After that date, I will pick 20 random numbers and announce the blogs that winned the first round. I will use a random number generator, so the first round is just pure luck!

Love, Giuls

Mercilessly, I throw daggers at everyone around me,

I carve my “confidence” into my surroundings

And cut anyone that ever doubted me.

Carelessly, my sharp tongue slices wounds into others,

Until my blade is used so frequently it dulls

And you can’t tell the difference between it

And a bitter breeze.

But my own sharp tongue cuts my mouth,

And I choke on my words until my throat bleeds,

My wounds never heal and they keep getting deeper,

Until I can hardly feel anything.

No matter how hard I try to stop,

I lose every battle against myself

And my relentless words will continue to cut,

Until none of my “self” remains.

The seconds count

Isn’t it odd that of all the hands on a clock, the second hand, bearing the smallest, shortest moments, ticks the most? Each tick sounds through our ears reminding us that every single second is an opportunity lost, or taken. And let us not abandon the fact that of all the hands on a clock, the second hand, bearing the smallest, shortest moments, is longer than the minute hand, and the hour hand. Because a second that passes could last a lifetime, remembered more than the hours and minutes and days that pass.

Hanahaki disease

Heaving, The flutter in my lungs grows each time I inhale. Choking, It’s enamouring flocculence rises up my throat as my face turns pale. Coughing, Its softness caresses the inside of my mouth as its scent infatuates my senses. Spluttering, It reveals its scarlet shade from the corner of my lips, prohibiting denial-filled sentences. Gagging, The clusters of sweetness drift forward, spilling themselves onto floor. Crying, The petals have made me breathless once more. Weeping, They could make the prettiest rose ever cited. Sobbing, But they’ll never flow together, because this is Unrequited.

The familiar emptiness blooms from my chest, I'll keep crumbling until there's nothing left, Until all I am is a bittersweet memory, Maybe then, you'd think to remember me. Since the beginning I've been collecting the pieces, I've been fixing all of you, battling all of your demons, But when did you ever consider how I would feel? Inflicting damage nonchalantly, you never cared about me. I've always been here so you've never had to worry, You've never thought to hold your tongue in front of me, So don't be surprised when I leave all of you behind, When I finally make my life mine.

Persephone

Don’t look for me.

For I am buried under the sand that you deposited in the bottomless sea,

I suffocate everyday but I can’t scream whilst you’re not listening,

I’m trapped in the time that you created and when I think I can breathe, the air is forced out of me.

I could reach out my withering hand and have you pull me from the dark,

But I’d rather claw my way through the hot pit to which I have been cursed,

I’ll choke, blinded as I fight my way upward, forcing your prison away,

Instead of accepting your hand, as you planned me to do, tying me to your eternal winter,

When I could be greeted by Spring if I only rely on me.

So, don’t look for me.

For I’ll be gone by the time your boredom forces you to wonder,

All that will be left is a whisper by the shore,

But when you realise the mistakes you made, saturated with your unquenchable hate

I’ll be floating with the clouds on the warm Spring air,

And I’ll be so big and so far away that I’m untouchable,

And when you look at me from the sand below, all you might receive from me is a brief hello.

So please, don’t look for me.

I’ll make it on my own.

If that photo doesn’t terrify you then you don’t understand what’s going on

This photo is more threatening than the ones where they were being pulled out of their chairs and zip tied

Hanahaki disease

Heaving, The flutter in my lungs grows each time I inhale. Choking, It's enamouring flocculence rises up my throat as my face turns pale. Coughing, Its softness caresses the inside of my mouth as its scent infatuates my senses. Spluttering, It reveals its scarlet shade from the corner of my lips, prohibiting denial-filled sentences. Gagging, The clusters of sweetness drift forward, spilling themselves onto floor. Crying, The petals have made me breathless once more. Weeping, They could make the prettiest rose ever cited. Sobbing, But they'll never flow together, because this is Unrequited.

There's a void that dwells inside of me, It's getting so deep that's it's hard to breathe, I've tried to fill it with countless things, But none of them ever seem to succeed. False icons professing their love, Claiming they'll meet me in the skies above, Can only numb the pain for so long, When you realise that they're always gone. Their perfected code illicit response, That's meant to make me finally feel loved, And yet I listen to the computers' buzz, Realising how false my comfort was.