My Disabilities Chilled The Fuck Out When I Got Out Of My Toxic Household I Recommend A Space Of Calm

my disabilities chilled the fuck out when i got out of my toxic household I recommend a space of calm for everyone

People are genuinely acting like if there is one single space in the entire world where you are simply allowed to be at peace with other people then society as we know it will collapse and everyone who isn't a multi-millionaire will perish.

I want to ask about stoping the anti cycle.. I’m a people pleaser and had other proship accounts abandoned cause I let antis get into my head.. how do I know for sure this time I won’t fail again with this account and stay strong?

By simply recognising that you will never actually please those people. They do not care about you, and they never will, even if you "reform" and become "one of them."

You will also be the icky ex-proshipper in their eyes. You will always have to atone for the sins of your past. You will always be the wooden stakes upon which they light the sacrificial fire.

Nobody in the anti community can ever actually agree on what is and is not acceptable and where to draw the line. Its why the 'antiship AO3' crashed and burnt before it even took off. None of them could actually form a solid agreement on what was permissible and why.

Questions To Ask Yourself

If they're genuinely just trying to protect people, why are they using abusive tactics, harassment, confrontation and aggression?

What exactly are they hoping to accomplish by hounding you or harassing you or bullying you?

If the outcome of you deleting your blog because of them worth it? What is gained versus what is lost by allowing them to chase you away?

What are you teaching them by allowing them to bully you away?

"If you're a proshipper you should kill yourself!"

Sure, but I have social anxiety and I can't do it alone so I'll have to kill you at the same time.

Its actually appalling how few pet owners have safety, evacuation and rescue training and plans in place for their pets.

tbh all the people complaining about "i NEED to vent in non-vent spaces" reek of selfishness and narcissism. there's a server i'm in with two vent spaces. one is 18+ because there's an 18+ section. legit watched one person vent about another who couldn't see the 18+ section. using it to deliberately hide from them. despite the fact. yknow. DMs with other people exist. small group chats can be made at any time. nope! have to vent in this subsection where the members who can see both vent chats can report me for it.

Yeah, internal member conflict is another reason why honestly things like venting channels and negativity spaces in open-access things like Discord servers are just.... Not a good idea, no matter how therapeutic or helpful or easy to ignore you think they are.

Allowing members to just spew out negativity and complaints and toxic thoughts just allows other people to respond to them. I've lost count of how many times I've seen someone venting and someone else has started commenting lashing out at the original person or accusing them of bad behavior or blaming them for what happened. Then other members pile in to agree or disagree and before you know it half the server is at verbal war.

Its just not healthy for anyone involved. If you try to outlet your emotions and get shut down, its going to impact you worse in the long run. It is absolutely more beneficial to privately release your thoughts and use those public spaces in order to farm more positive outlets and distractions.

E.g; keep a diary. Write down all your bad shit then go to the Discord server and say hey, I've had a bad day, spam me with fun shit to cheer me up. Find something worthwhile to engage with. Have a fun, dynamic conversation with other people.

I think far too many people think the only proper way to process and move on from negativity is to involve other people and actively dissect it and honestly, it really isn't. Especially when other people already have their owns shares of misery and suffering.

I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.

Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.

Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.