"I'm A Mess Of Unfinished Thoughts"

"I'm A Mess of Unfinished Thoughts"

The insanity of drug addiction has you so conflicted. You know that getting high will kill you, you hate living in the despair that active addiction brings. you want to escape from this hell, you want to be doped up out of your mind. Some days you want to fight for your life, others you hope this shot will kill you.  you want all of this to end yet you want to continue feeling that high...  Sometimes you’re clean and you want desperately to stay that way while simultaneously wanting to use drugs.

As I watched the dope draw up into the needle, I watched any hope I had left disappear inside that syringe. I’m hopelessly addicted...

IF YOU KNOW😬

I never know what's going in me. Maybe that is why my writings are ambiguous. There is no beginning, or an ending but just a turmoil of scattered emotions. I speak as if I know, only to relinquish I don't know any of it. And somedays the weight of word is only known to me-only me, and nobody else.

"You're wearing the color of your eyes and I'm wearing mine." Matthew James Griffie

Sick Truth...

I swear the feeling of the needle going into your vein and seeing the blood rush up is just as satisfying and addictive as the drug itself