Ate A Pretty Large Meal Before My Shift, Im Completely Fine With It I Ate Exactly What I Planned To

Ate a pretty large meal before my shift, I’m completely fine with it I ate exactly what I planned to

I won’t eat anything tn when I get home from work I think, and I’ll have 400 calls tmrw

My grandma wants to go out to dinner with me on Monday for a late birthday thing, I’m not too worried though, my plan is just to not eat anything until dinner and fill my stomach up with water during the meal

I don’t want to force myself not to eat the food at the restaurant, or have it be obvious that I’m not eating so I’m definitely going to order as normal, I’ll get full fast tho so it’s not a big deal

I’m so excited to get under 100 lbs, I’m always on-and-off with my restriction and I haven’t made it under 100 in soooo long, I can’t wait for a 2 digit number on the scale again 😩

My main motivations rn are 1. My best friend and I are going to a water park March 1, and I wanna look a little skinnier in my bathing suit and 2. I so badly wanna wear low waisted pants this spring and look hot, I’m almost there but not quite

Also, with how shit my home life is rn the feeling of control is honestly keeping me going

one of my potential controversial mental health opinions is that harm reduction should be applied to restrictive eating disorders. obviously someone isn't 'recovered' for going from anorexic to over-exercising and rigid eating routines but it's better than like...literally dying. and the way recovery is currently pushed is a recipe for disaster. I don't know one person who actually recovered from an eating disorder after being forced into treatment.

returning here feels like coming home

my one comfort despite everything

SUCCESSFULLY FASTED ALL OF YESTERDAY 💪✨💖

only at 33 hours so far, but im someone who has historically been a terrible faster, so I'm proud that I made it this far.

feeling alr for now, we'll see how I feel at five right before my shift

also my weigh in this morning was pretty good, 103.9, when i was 105 a few days ago :)

feeling skinty 💖