Nd-babblinggoblinfromthevoid - I Don't Even Know...

I'm having a really hard time just existing right now.

My body is in so much pain. My mind is in so much pain.

I'm trying not to spiral but it's so friggin hard.

I'm deteriorating. The very few people close to me, are deteriorating. It feels like everything is just kind of falling apart.

I know I shouldn't isolate. I know I just need to get through the day and get some sleep tonight. (I was awake all night, yay insomnia)

I'm so tired of my body hurting. I'm so tired of my heart/mind hurting. (Depression and so on creeping back into its stronghold again since I had to go off the new meds I had tried and reacted horribly to a diff one not the recently complained about one)

Feeling very doom and gloom about existence.

Meh.

Okay we've officially lost one of our only 2 sets of sheets. My husband and I have incredibly sensitive skin and the only sheets we use are stupid expensive.

If anyone can help us get a new set of sheets we'd be immensely grateful. They're currently $70. Fucking yikes. & that's the cheaper one, the other is $115. The audacity.

Thanks for reading. If you can't help, signal boost please!!

Venmo

I'm trying to sell some clothes and misc stuff to chip away at it but my wardrobe/stuff is not worth a lot 🫠

We got a very country grandpa type of guy out for the appraisal. (Yay) So most anxiety went away because he had good energy, easy to talk to about stuff with the house.

I'm so glad it seemed to go well. Now we wait to find out if/how much the loan we need got approved.

It's almost 2am and still at 56. I feel so sluggish. Showering helped briefly but now I feel like I'm shutting down again.

I'm an idiot.

So tachycardia and high pulse pressure feel about the same to me. I felt this, and assumed I was tachycardic. Collapsed on the couch and husband grabbed my meds to slow down my heart.

Low and behold, my heartrate was actually slow but with high pulse pressure. So because I panicked and didn't check my pulse in my haze before taking my meds, husband will now have to keep a close eye on me for the next while.

I reiterate. I'm an idiot.

(I didn't get any sleep last night and usually when that happens my tachycardia hits a loootttttttttt for the 24 hrs after an insomnia all nighter.)

CHECK YOUR VITALS. NEVER ASSUME.

So I just laid down to start a new book from my doom box.

Read the author's note, which indicated there was another book before this one.

Thinking oh I should find the first book and read that so I'm not lost in this one.

...

. . .

I happen to have the last book..... in a 15 book series 🫠🫠

So now I must find and read the other 14 before this one not only for context on basically everything going on in it but also... *collection* 🤩🥲