Oh God I Fucked It

Oh god I fucked it

I hit beans again. I don't know what's wrong with me I feel like I'm loosing it, slowly bleeding every bit of me out

I did two styros and almost removed the piece of skin in-between them when bandaging

God I'm loosing it I can't even kill myself to get out of this god damn state.

I'm needed no matter what I say. I have someone relying on me and wanting to die while having that feels like hell.

I think I'm funny<3

Knife TW (clean)

Look at this pretty baby!!! Specifically NOT allowed to cut myself with it and I will not be betraying that trust (I've never used knifes anyway and it's too dull for my likeing)

But she's so pretty!!!! Gonna turn her into a clip on keychain (wear her on my belt loop)

Maybe if I dip my toes into knifeplay then she can come out:3

I actually didn't know anyone voted on this but wow that's a lot, anyway

No slicing till tomorrow pinky swear

On a side note, why are people posting there sh so convincing with saying it's SFX

Maybe I'm a fuckin dumb ass but almost every time I see "fake SFX" and I go "ohhh!! I love SFX" and then it's pictures of cuts, like 7 times out of 10

I've been on this app for years??? You think would have learned

Crying pissing shitting I'm out of gauze.

Fuckkkkk

The store is closed tomorrow too

Ugh at least I was able to use the last bit to stop the bleeding for my shift today

But it means I gotta be clean tomorrow or I guess I don't what do you think chat?

Fuck it bled through my gauze that can't be good, it'll be fine in the morning right?? Right???

It will it will

I think I hit beans

Oops fuck

I forgot that scars are tougher to cut through, I've been cutting on the same arm almost every night for the past month and that bitch tough as shit

I was ventureing into a new spot and gave it the same push as before

Oh fuck

I can't tell if it's beans or not holy shit

It looks a lil different than my regular styros, and feels different too I can feel it in my hand Wich is weird

Fuck me Man I hope it's just a deep styro

I just looked again, it's bulging out a bit. Fuck did I just hit baby beans

She's still bleeding a bit wow

I'm gonna clean up and pass out

I think I'm funny<3