The Sad Saga Of James Morgan And Company: The First Of The Ill-Fated OCs

The Sad Saga of James Morgan and Company: The First of the Ill-Fated OCs

I made practically a whole boy band of original characters for James to fall in love with. They will, of course, all end up in Jessiebelle's fridge as angst fodder. I'd jokingly say, "Original Character: do not steal," but there's barely anything there to steal.

This fic contains: Colorful language; general angst; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; definite out-of-character moments for Ash (he's kind of ableist holy crap); violence; convoluted occult lore; blood; underdeveloped original character; murderous, occult-powered Jessiebelle; attempted murder/human sacrifice; Meowth gets weirdly descriptive about death; character (Pokémon) death and resurrection; ellipses abuse; Jesus Hades Christ eleven!me tortured James a lot in fic (you always hurt the ones you love i guess)

-O-o-O-o-O-

*Imagine Team Rocket is just walking, minding their own business, until Jessiebelle kidnaps James again. Jessie and Meowth follow her.

Jessiebelle: You stupid, stupid little strumpet. Why do you even try to run from me? You know resistance is futile. You can't run and you can't hide. James: If I can't hide, how come it takes you so long to find me? Jessiebelle: Well, you can hide, but not for long.

*Jessiebelle sprays a potion on James. He falls to the ground, writhing in pain.

James: What is that stuff? Jessiebelle: It's a special potion for disobedient witches.

*James faints. Jessie and Meowth jump in the window.

Jessiebelle: Why must you break my windows? In fact, why must you ruin my plans of sacrificing your friend? Jessie: Unlike you, we don't want to control him.

*Jessiebelle's guard, a boy with green hair and green eyes, walks in.

Guard: Did you kill him?! Jessiebelle: No, but I'm going to. Guard: (looks at James) Don't kill him. Jessiebelle: And why shouldn't I kill him? He's evil, you know. Guard: He's not evil. In fact, I don't think he could be a bad guy.

*While Jessiebelle and her guard are arguing, Jessie and Meowth take James out of there.

Meowth: Wake up, James!

*Meowth starts gently patting James's cheek. James wakes up.

James: What happened? Meowth: You were poisoned by that crazy bitch Jessiebelle. James: It wouldn't be the first time. (winces)

*James takes out a vial of reddish-brown liquid. He turns pale while drinking it and clearly is not enjoying it.

Meowth: What is that stuff? James: (coughs) It's Jigglypuff blood, not taken violently. It's supposed to be an antidote. (doubles over, tries not to vomit)

Meowth: Feel any better? James: Not right away.

*Later that day, James's powers are going insane, which seems to drive him crazy.

James: (softly) I hate her. Meowth: What? James: (louder) I hate her. Jessie: What's the matter? James: I hate her! I hate her! I HATE HER! Meowth: Calm down. Who do you hate? James: I hate that crazy bitch! Jessie: You mean Jessiebelle. James: Yes.

*No one speaks until the next day because of that violent outburst James had. Ash comes across Team Rocket.

Ash: It's Team Rocket! What trick do you have up your sleeves now? Jessie: Just piss off, twerp.

*James is standing with his head down. All he can think about is how he hates Jessiebelle.

James: I hate her. Meowth: Uh-oh. Jessie: Not this shit again. Ash: What?! James: I hate her. Ash: What the hell are you talking about?! James: (screaming) I hate that crazy bitch Jessiebelle! Ash: (backing away) Are you sure you're not the crazy bitch? James: How do you think you'd act if someone wanted to sacrifice you?! Ash: Okay, call the guys in white coats. James: (hisses) I don't need them. I'm not a crazy bitch, I'm a sane witch! Ash: Right now, you sound like a cat. Meowth: Hey! I resemble that remark! Ash: Whatever drugs you're on, I'm gonna just say no. James: I am not on drugs! You're full of shit, you little twerpy bastard! Shut the hell up! Ash: (dubiously) Right.

*Jessie pulls James back and dumps a vial of green potion on his head. James blinks, then seems to snap out of a trance.

James: What was I saying? Ash: That you're not a crackhead? Meowth: Let's just get outta here.

*Jessie and Meowth lead James away to find a place to camp. When they find a good spot, Meowth makes James lie down.

Meowth: After that outburst, you should probably rest. James: What did I do and why don't I remember anything? Meowth: Let's just say you got a little bit mad.

*James sighs. This was clearly the work of Jessiebelle's dark magic.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Jessiebelle traps Jessie, James, and Meowth in a cage. She decides to leave them there for a while.

*They're clawing and trying to batter their way out. Jessiebelle ignores them.

Jessie: This isn't working. We're going to have to try and get the keys. James: I don't think we'll ever get out. She wants to leave us in here until we beg to die. Meowth: I think all our skin will rot away and our organs will dry up and our blood will evaporate before we beg for death. I'd rather have my brain disintegrate than beg to die.

*They're in different cages. Jessie is in one cage while James and Meowth are in a second cage.

Meowth: I'm not going to beg to die. James: Neither will I. Jessie: I definitely won't.

*Jessiebelle comes back in.

Meowth: Ya hear that? You're not gonna win this! Jessiebelle: Shut up, hell cat! (kicks Meowth, knocking him out) Don't tell me what I will and won't do. Damn you! James: (crawls over to Meowth) What have you done to him?! (holds Meowth)

*Jessiebelle leaves. James tries to nurse Meowth back to health magically. Jessiebelle comes back in and sees James holding Meowth with tears streaming down his cheeks.

James: You killed him. Jessiebelle: No, I didn't.

*James's eyes start glowing ominously. He's got a dark look on his face. But for a second, he looks hurt.

Jessiebelle: I wouldn't do that if I were you. This cage is witchcraft-proof. (to her guard) Tylas, watch these three. See that they don't escape. And keep a very watchful eye on that boy. (walks away)

*Tylas watches them. James is still crying silently.

Tylas: Why are you crying? James: Meowth is going to die. I hate Jessiebelle. Tylas: To tell you the truth, I don't really like her either.

*James and Tylas look in each other's eyes.

Tylas: What's wrong? James: (seems to snap out of a trance) Nothing. (sighs sadly) Maybe she didn't kill him. If you kill a Pokémon out of spite, you get cursed.

*James puts his ear to Meowth's heart. His eyes glaze over. His face gets really pale. He cries out.

Tylas: What's wrong? James: (sobbing) She killed him. Jessie: She killed Meowth?! James: Yes. (sobs) Jessiebelle: What's all this noise about? James: You know damn well what it's about. Jessiebelle: True, but I want to see if I'm right. James: You killed Meowth. Jessiebelle: I was right. (walks out again) Jessie: James, couldn't you use that life potion on Meowth? James: I didn't think of that.

*James sprays the life potion on Meowth. They don't even need to do the whole routine with the sacrifices this time. Meowth comes back to life.

Meowth: I'm alive again. James: I'm so glad you're alive. Jessie: So am I. Tylas: I'm glad, too.

*They manage to escape.

Jessiebelle: How could you let them escape?! Tylas: I don't know. I was hiding the key. Jessiebelle: There's always tomorrow.

*Meanwhile, Jessie, James, and Meowth are in the forest, looking for a place to camp out.

Jessie: I think it was really strange that Tylas was glad Meowth was alive. James: He said he didn't like Jessiebelle that much. Meowth: It was nice of him to help us escape. Jessie: Definitely. Don't you think so, James?

*James doesn't answer. He's staring into space.

Meowth: Hello? Anybody home?

*Jessie waves her hand in James's face.

James: What? What were we talking about? Jessie: We were talking about how it was nice of Tylas to help us escape. James: Oh, yeah. Him. (sighs) Meowth: Why do you keep daydreaming when we talk about him? (figures it out) Hey, I know why! James: What? Jessie: I think you're in love with Tylas. James: (blushes) I'm not. I just….like him a lot. Meowth: That's love.

*James thinks about this for a while.

James: Okay. So Maybe I'm in love with Tylas. Meowth: Then I'll go tell him. James: Wait! Come back here!

*James chases after Meowth. They eventually find a place to camp out.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: If you kill a Pokémon out of spite, you get cursed. This story must be a Poké serial killer, then.

I asked ChatGPT to write Pokémon blueshipping mpreg.

The results were....disturbing.

Prompt: Write a Pokémon fanfiction in which Meowth impregnates James with a kitten and Jessie does not approve of their actions.

(I should have specified that James would consent to the mpreg in the story. I didn't and got this.)

Content warning: This fanfiction contains adult themes and may not be suitable for all audiences.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Jessie stormed into the Team Rocket headquarters, slamming the door behind her. She was fuming, and it was clear to everyone in the room that something was bothering her.

"What's wrong, Jessie?" James asked, concern etched across his face.

"It's Meowth," Jessie spat. "He's gone too far this time."

"What did he do?" James asked, looking confused.

"He impregnated you, James!" Jessie exclaimed.

James's eyes went wide as he took in what Jessie had just said. "What? How is that even possible?"

"Meowth used his psychic powers to make it happen," Jessie explained. "And now you're carrying a kitten. I can't believe he would do something like this without even consulting us first."

James looked down at his stomach, which was visibly swollen. He could feel the kitten moving around inside of him, and it was a strange and unsettling sensation. He wasn't sure how he felt about becoming a father – especially not in such an unconventional way.

"I don't know what to do," James said, his voice trembling. "I never expected anything like this to happen."

"We'll figure it out," Jessie said, taking his hand in hers. "But first, we need to talk to Meowth. He can't just go around impregnating people without their consent."

They made their way to Meowth's quarters, where they found him lounging on his bed, looking smug.

"What's up, guys?" he asked, grinning.

"You know exactly what's up," Jessie snapped. "You impregnated James without even asking him first. How could you do something so irresponsible?"

Meowth's expression soured as he realized that Jessie was angry with him. "I did it for the good of Team Rocket," he said. "We need more members, and I thought this was the best way to accomplish that."

"That's ridiculous," Jessie said. "You can't just go around forcing people to have babies. James didn't want this."

"I'm sorry," Meowth said, his tone contrite. "I didn't mean to upset anyone. I just thought I was doing what was best for the team."

"Well, you were wrong," Jessie said. "And now we have to deal with the consequences. James is pregnant, and we have to figure out how to take care of him and the kitten."

Meowth nodded, looking ashamed. "I'll do whatever it takes to make things right," he said.

For the next few weeks, James carried the kitten inside of him, growing more and more uncomfortable as the due date approached. Jessie and Meowth did their best to take care of him, bringing him food and water and helping him get around. But it was clear that James was struggling – both physically and emotionally.

Finally, the day of the birth arrived. Jessie and Meowth helped James into a makeshift birthing chamber, where he went into labor. It was a difficult and painful process, but after several hours, he gave birth to a healthy kitten.

As soon as the kitten was born, Jessie scooped it up, cradling it in her arms. She looked down at the tiny creature, and her heart melted. Despite everything that had happened, she couldn't help feeling a deep love for the little kitten.

"I guess we're a family now," she said, looking at James and Meowth. "And we'll do whatever it takes to take care of each other – no matter what."

-O-o-O-o-O-

That might have been on the same level as the badfic twelve!me wrote.

Though I can't help but think that in a different story (one in which James consented to this), it would be funny that Jessie has to tell James that he's pregnant for him to realize it.

More of Team Rocket's Life in Wilow Creek

James and Meowth roast marshmallows with Liberty Lee, who clips through James.

Jessie also roasts marshmallows. They did this repeatedly, despite having a perfectly good fridge that works off grid and the ability to just pull hot dogs out of the ether to roast.

"If we're dressed like marshmallows and we eat the marshmallows, does that count as cannibalism?"

"Quit huffin' campfire fumes, Jimmy."

I got them a bee box. James bonded with the bees.

I also had him get started on the garden. Note the garlic, since Vlad will likely be lurking around.

Jessie was surprisingly unbothered by the outdoor toilet.

"It really does smell like roses!"

James, having had the misfortune of using it last (after Meowth), did not share this opinion.

"Why me?"

I think Human Meowth ended up kind of cute. (The markings on his face are supposed to imitate whiskers.)

I think Jessie and James turned out pretty nicely, too.

Kitty Meowth got bitten by a squirrel (nothing fatal, since this is the Sims).

So James took him to the vet's office.

Meowth got some new headgear.

He looks like he wants to cut a bitch, but he no longer has opposable fingers.

Jessie took up painting.

"Turn up your nose all you want--now that you have one--but the Sims around here call this 'High Art.'"

"More like, 'Are You High' Art."

They devolved into a verbal slapfight about Meowth's lack of taste. James wondered if maybe he should just sleep on the bench in the vet's office that night.

Also, a family portrait:

They're so cute.

This is sort of how I feel about Rocketshipping in Pokémon. I don't hate that ship (I do enjoy it when it involves mpreg, which is rare); it just really doesn't do anything for me.

My favorite characters are James and Meowth (Jessie's fine, too), but sometimes things are labeled Rocketshipping when it merely includes Jessie and James in the same frame, so filtering out the tag isn't really worth it.

Also my OTP (blueshipping) is pretty much heresy.

Anyone else ever experience a ship that is so popular in the fandom but it just bores you to death? It does not spark joy. In fact, it does not spark anything. I don't even hate it but everyone keeps insisting that it's the best thing ever and I just.. don't see it? I am tired of getting it shoved in my face (and not being able to say no without getting some choice replies). I might start hating the ship just out of spite

James's Special Delivery: Tab A Plus Slot B Equals Kitten (part two of three)

There is a three-sentence sex scene in this. It's three sentences too long and it's also too short.

If you're going to write James/Meowth slashfic, you'd better go all in on it.

Part one

This fic contains:  Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; unexplained mpreg/male pregnancy; shaky grasp of the realities of pregnancy and childrearing; lack of medical and scientific knowledge; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; odd ideas about romance; Dr. Fuji is miraculously alive somehow; ridiculously easy resolutions to problems; attempts to rehabilitate James's mother (she totally approved of Jessiebelle's bullshit she deserves no mercy); divorce; IKEA erotica that's somehow way too graphic and under described at the same time; dialogue that can't decide if it wants to be humorous or suspenseful

-O-o-O-o-O-

Meanwhile, back at James’s hometown, his parents were getting a divorce.

“I’m tired of the way you’re treating our son!” yelled Bethany Morgan, James’s mother.

“That boy is just hopeless. He won’t marry a proper citizen like Jessiebelle. He’s even dating a talking Meowth who used to be a criminal. How disgraceful!” Jacob Morgan, James’s father, yelled.

“This is the year 2002. Things are changing. Besides, he’s really in love with him. Maybe he ran away because of you. You drove James away, both you and Jessiebelle.”

“How dare you talk back to me!”

“Someone has to. I want a divorce.”

So Bethany and Jacob got a divorce. Since Bethany was rich before she married Jacob, she didn’t end up in the poorhouse. Both of them took only what they brought into the marriage.

Bethany was happy. She was free to visit her son and write to him without drama.

-O-o-O-

James looked at the pill in his hand.

“Am I really sure I want to do this?” he thought.

James decided he was ready and he would’ve done this sooner or later. It might as well be sooner.

He swallowed the pill.

-O-o-O-

That night, James and Meowth did it.

James felt very invigorated by Meowth’s thrusting. Meowth loved James with all his heart and put his love in every thrust.

Needless to say, both of them were very happy (as well as tired) when they went to sleep.

-O-o-O-

The next morning, James woke up feeling nauseated. He ran into the bathroom and started vomiting.

Meowth realized James wasn’t in bed with him and woke up. He went into the bathroom. James was kneeling with his head in the toilet.

“James, what’s wrong? Why are you vomiting?” he asked.

“I think I’m pregnant,” James said.

Meowth took James to the doctors at the lab. Sure enough, James was right.

-O-o-O-

After eating just bland food and resting, James thought he’d gotten over his morning sickness in three days.

But morning sickness was the least of their problems.

“How are we going to tell Jessie?” James asked Meowth.

“Let’s tell her in the most subtle way possible,” Meowth said.

That day, after Jessie came back from the anger management sessions, they tried to be subtle when telling her about the experiment.

“Jessie….The experiment worked,” Meowth said.

“What experiment?”

“James is….er….‘fertile.’”

“What are you talking about?”

James, who was sitting next to Meowth, was massaging his temples. This was going to take a long time.

Jessie was getting impatient. “What. Is. Wrong. With. JAMES?!” she screamed.

“JAMES IS GONNA HAVE A KITTEN, OKAY?!” Meowth yelled.

“Why didn’t you just say you wanted to catch another Meowth?” Jessie said.

“Not like that,” James whispered.

“Then, like what?”

James whispered in her ear.

“What?”

James whispered it again.

“WILL YOU STOP BEING SO DAMN VAGUE?” Jessie yelled.

“I’M PREGNANT WITH MEOWTH’S KITTEN, OKAY?” James finally yelled.

“Freaking finally.” Then she realized what he said. “You’re what?!”

“It was an experiment,” James said. “Dr. Fuji made us do it for Team Rocket.”

“And we love each other,” Meowth said.

“Okay.”

“That’s it?!”

“Yeah, I don’t really have a problem with that.”

“Oh.”

James and Meowth went into the bedroom. They had gotten lucky.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Lusting and thrusting leads to tin roofs rusting.

The Sad Saga of James Morgan and Company: My Writing Style Was Goblin Mode

Imagine being an eleven-year-old girl who is obsessed with Xena: Warrior Princess (and ripping off the dark plots from it) and Pokémon. Imagine being this kid who, after acting out her fanfics (that involve way too much human sacrifice and crucifixion) with her Barbies, decides she should actually write them down in a form other people can read.

Add a dose of repressed anger issues and you get this.

This fic contains: Colorful language; general angst; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; violence; convoluted occult lore; blood; murderous, occult-powered Jessiebelle; attempted murder; Jessiebelle wants to honor-kill James(?!); Jessiebelle slut-shames James a lot; character death and resurrection; ellipses abuse; Jesus Hades Christ eleven!me tortured James a lot in fic (I don’t know why; he was and still is my favorite Pokémon character); James has bottlecap powers

-O-o-O-o-O-

*Imagine that Jessie, James, and Meowth have been trying witchcraft to do better at their job. It doesn't work for Jessie and Meowth, but it works for James. So he's a witch now. Imagine Jessiebelle is trying to kidnap James and is also a witch. Since James is a witch (whose powers are not supposed to be used for evil) and Team Rocket is an evil organization, the mismatch makes his powers go insane, weakening him.

*Jessiebelle sneaks up behind James while he's sitting at camp. He screams, but Jessiebelle puts a rag with knockout potion over his mouth. He passes out. Meowth comes on the scene.

Meowth: What did you do to him?! Jessiebelle: If he won't marry me, I'll have to marry him. I made him unconscious with a potion. I'll do the same with you.

*Meowth screams. Jessiebelle knocks him out with the potion and runs off with James, who is still unconscious.

*When Meowth comes to, Jessie is there.

Jessie: What happened to you? Where's James? Meowth: Jessiebelle used a potion to knock him out. She did that to me, too. I guess she took James away.

*They go out looking for James. Meanwhile, James comes to. He's chained to a wall. Jessiebelle is standing in front of him.

Jessiebelle: Did you have a nice nap?

*James magically screams so loud, Jessie and Meowth can hear him.

Meowth: That sounded like James!

*Back at the dungeon…

James: What are you trying to do to me? Jessiebelle: If you won't marry me, I'll just have to marry you. By force. And I know you're a witch, so those chains are witchcraft-proof.

*James tries to break the chains with his powers but it doesn't work. He screams. Jessiebelle puts her hand over his mouth.

Jessiebelle: Don't make me use the potion again.

*Jessie and Meowth climb through the window.

Jessie: You can't force him to marry you! Meowth: He doesn't love you!

*James looks relieved to see them.

Jessiebelle: I'll kill him if you two try anything.

*James's eyes widen. Jessiebelle turns to him.

Jessiebelle: You have dishonored your family, you know. If you resist marrying me, I'll have no choice but to kill you.

*James's widened eyes focus on the noose Jessiebelle is holding.

Jessiebelle: Either tie the knot or tie the noose. James: Why should I have to die because I don't want to get married? Jessiebelle: Shut up, or I'll blast you to pieces!

*Jessiebelle takes out a bulky wand that looks like a shotgun. James puts his head down.

Jessiebelle: And don't you dare try to scream again because I've got a really sharp dagger I'd like to test out on some flesh. (pulls out a really sharp dagger) Jessie: Stop threatening him! It makes no damn sense, killing him just because he doesn't want to get married. Jessiebelle: So you want to be killed with him? I can arrange that. James: Don't kill her! Jessiebelle: I told you to shut up, you insolent trollop! (takes out a needle with black liquid in it)

*James can't help it. He struggles against his chains. Jessiebelle pimp-slaps him across his face.

Jessiebelle: I told you, that's useless! Now, stop it! (kicks James) Meowth: You stop it! Quit trying to marry or kill him. I think you just want to marry him to kill him. Jessiebelle: That's not true. If he resists, I kill him. If he accepts, he lives. James: Why would I marry a murderer? Are you going to sacrifice me? Jessiebelle: That's it! I'll make you suffer, little witch! James: No, you won't! I'm not that same weak little child I was before. Jessiebelle: I can trigger your powers to go insane, you know. Jessie: I challenge you to a Pokémon battle, Jessiebelle! Jessiebelle: Fine. If you win, you can keep the little whore. If I win, I keep him. And possibly sacrifice him. Jessie: Don't call him a whore.

*They start the match. Jessie's Arbok wins the match and knocks Jessiebelle's Vileplume out. Jessie, James, and Meowth escape the dungeon. They look for a place to camp out.

Meowth: (to James) Are you okay? James: Why wouldn't I be? Meowth: You're not usually so quiet. James: I'm just tired.

*They find a place to camp out.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Jessiebelle has a new way to kill James if he doesn't marry her. She makes him suffer and beg for death.

*Jessie, James, and Meowth are trying to think of a new plan for stealing Pokémon. Jessiebelle comes out of nowhere and grabs James inconspicuously.

Jessie: Where did James go? Meowth: I don't know. I think I saw him get grabbed by somebody.

*Jessiebelle is running off with James, who is magically screaming as loud as he can so Jessie and Meowth can track him.

Jessiebelle: Will you shut up, you harlot?

*Jessiebelle shuts James up with her knockout potion. When she gets to the dungeon, James wakes up.

Jessiebelle: All right. No more Miss Nice Warlock. James: What do you mean, "no more?" You were never Miss Nice Warlock. Jessiebelle: You're going to suffer until you beg for death. I'll be glad to fuck you up until you die. James: It'll be a cold day in hell before I beg for death. Jessiebelle: Well, I guess you'll be there in hell on that cold day.

*Jessie and Meowth set their tent up right next to the dungeon. Even though it's next to it, Jessiebelle can't see it because James left them a camouflage potion spray.

*Jessiebelle drags James outside (it's a really hot day) and ties him to some dead leafless tree that's in the sun. The sun is right on him and it's "no shadow time." He almost faints. Next, Jessiebelle throws rocks at him, but doesn't kill him with them. Then she makes him carry heavy bricks, barely clothed, through mud on a rainy day. That's his breaking point. James faints and the bricks are cutting his arms and legs, so now he's covered in mud and blood.

*Jessie and Meowth are unaware of all this happening until they find James's limp body lying there. He's not dead. When they take him into their tent, he wakes up.

James: What happened? (tries to sit up, but is still dizzy from the torture in the sun) Jessie: I don't know what she did to you. We just found you lying in the mud. James: I don't know if I remember all of what happened. (tries to sit up again, winces, clutches head) Meowth: Lie down. What happened to you?

*James tells them what he remembers.

James: I don't care what she does to me, I'm not marrying her. Meowth: If that bitch ever tries that again, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but it won't be good. Jessie: So what you're saying is, a fucking-up is in the question. Meowth: Yeah. Pretty much.

*Jessiebelle glances out the window. She squints through a magic scope and sees the tent.

Jessiebelle: Whoever's in that tent, you're squatting on private property and I have a right to shoot! (cocks wand)

*Jessie and Meowth tell James to stay inside. They get out of the tent.

Jessiebelle: Not you bastards again! What'd you do with James? Jessie: He's not with us right now. Jessiebelle: My ass! (jumps out window onto tent)

*Jessiebelle lands next to James.

Jessiebelle: I'm locking you up and throwing away the key!

*James screams. Jessiebelle puts her hand over his mouth. He bites her hand. It doesn't faze her. She takes James inside the dungeon and locks the door behind them.

*Inside….

Jessiebelle: You know what happens now? First, I'll get your little friends.

*Jessiebelle drags Jessie and Meowth in with a sucking wind and chains them to the wall with witchcraft-proof chains.

Jessiebelle: Next I'll test out my new dagger on their necks. James: Don't kill them, kill me. Jessiebelle: What was that? James: I said, kill me instead. Jessiebelle: Fine. (walks over to James and stabs him)

*James slides down the wall, leaving a trail of blood. Jessiebelle unchains Jessie and Meowth.

Jessiebelle: You can't help him now, so I might as well let you free. (leaves in a cloud of red smoke) Meowth: No….(walks over to James) No….he's not dying….we can save him.

*James isn't quite dead yet.

James: I'm sorry. It's true. I am dying. Meowth: No, you're not. I can help you. I'm sorry we didn't save you in time. James: (coughs up blood) She moves too fast. Nobody can stop her. At least she won't bother you now I'm dying. Meowth: You're not dying. Just don't talk, save your strength, maybe you'll live. James: (painfully) Nobody can live through being (breathes with difficulty) mortally wounded. Meowth : Is this goodbye?

*James's eyes close. They don't open again. Meowth holds James's hand in his paw. James's hand is cold.

Meowth: He's dead. Jessie: I guess it was too much for him. The suffering was, I mean.

*Meowth starts to cry. Jessie holds him.

Jessie: Maybe we could try one of those rituals to bring him back. Meowth: But how? The powers didn't come to us. Jessie: Then we'll steal some of Jessiebelle's.

*They find Jessiebelle's spell books and supplies. They find a cauldron and start trying to mix the potions. They sacrifice three Spearow, prick their fingers, and add their own blood to the cauldron. Then they drip their own blood on the floor, making markings, and place James's body in the center. They pour some of the potion on James. He comes back to life.

James: I'm alive. (gasps) Meowth: Don't get worked up. We don't want you fainting when you've just come back to life. James: I'm not worked up. I'm happy.

*The three of them hug and get out of there.

Meowth: I managed to grab this. (pulls out a bottle of potion) But I don't have anything to cover it.

*James zaps a bottle cap out of the air and puts it on the potion bottle. Team Rocket walks into the sunset.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Eleven!me knows way too many synonyms for "whore." Also, James's powers are magical screaming, conjuring bottlecaps, and mixing potions.