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A Worse Pill to Swallow: A Bonkers Blueshipping Mpreg Pokéfic (part one of three)

I was twelve years old when I wrote this. Enjoy my oldfic if you dare.

Warnings: Pokémon/Human romantic relationship (warning because some people might be disturbed by it, even though Meowth can consent in this story); unexplained mpreg/male pregnancy (I think mpreg is fine, just explain it maybe); bizarre anti-abortion overtones (the views expressed in this fic by twelve me do not represent the views of adult me); general angst; shaky grasp of the realities of pregnancy and childrearing; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; weepy!James (even moreso than he is in canon); dickish!Jessie; generic boyfriend!Meowth; odd ideas about romance; kitten birthing scene; ellipses abuse

-O-o-O-

*Meowth gets ready for bed. His beautiful, blue-haired virgin waits quietly for him. Obviously, that's James. He's wearing white pajamas: a white button-down shirt and white shorts. Very cute.

Meowth: (thinking) He looks so innocent, I almost hate to take his virginity away. (out loud) Are you ready? James: (turns around and smiles) Yes.

*James isn't afraid to reveal his body. He used to cringe at the thought of naked people, but he isn't afraid to expose himself to Meowth and let Meowth "explore" his body. If they're going to break the rules, they might as well enjoy it.

*A few weeks later, James wakes up nauseated. He goes into the bathroom and starts vomiting. Meowth wakes up because he notices James isn't in bed with him.

Meowth: James? Are you okay? James: (puking noises)

*Meowth goes in. James is wiping his mouth.

Meowth: What's wrong? James: I don't know. I guess I'm coming down with something. Meowth: (takes James's temperature) You don't have a fever. Hey, wait! I have an idea! Maybe it's hypothermia. James: Meowth, it's not even cold outside. Meowth: It was worth a try.

*They're both silent for a minute.

James: Remember when we….you know. Meowth: The night after the Shuckle incident? James: Yes. What if….something strange happened? Meowth: There's only one quick, private way to find out.

*Meowth takes out a pregnancy test for Pokémon (because James would have kittens).

Meowth: Here, pee on the grey oval. Then we need to wait a minute.

*James pees on the grey oval. Then he and Meowth nervously wait for sixty seconds, which feels like sixty years. When they look at the oval again, a blue plus sign has appeared. James and Meowth stare at it, then stare at each other. James has tears in his eyes.

James: Oh, Meowth, what are we going to do? Meowth: It's not the end of the world, Jimmy. James: Is there anything I can do? Meowth: There are pills that can end it in twenty-four hours.

*James rests his head on the toilet seat and starts to cry. He does not want to kill anything, especially a little kitten that hasn't even had a chance to live.

James: How long does it take for kittens to develop? Meowth: About sixty-three days. James: I have to put up with this for nine weeks?! Meowth: It's been a few weeks, maybe you're a few weeks pregnant? James: (sighs) I might as well get used to it. Meowth: You mean, you're actually going through with this? James: What else can I do?

*James and Meowth gaze into each other's eyes. They hug, then make out. James looks down, then looks away, giggling.

James: The kitten is already feisty. Meowth: I guess if it's moving, you're about four weeks along.

*James and Meowth make out again.

*A few days later, James is five weeks pregnant. He gets out a plate and warms up a hotdog. Then he covers it in chocolate sauce and starts eating it. Jessie stares at him.

Jessie: What's the deal with that food combination? Meowth: Well, we definitely know he's pregnant now.

*James then drinks two glasses of milk.

*Later in the bedroom, James and Meowth are getting ready for bed. James is folding his clothes on a chair, when he suddenly gasps and clutches his stomach.

James: Those kicks couldn't have come from just one kitten. Meowth: Kittens can come in groups of three to ten.

*James sits down heavily on the bed and winces as the kittens kick again.

James: Three to ten?! I thought I was only having one. (winces) I feel like a Snorlax. Meowth: It's definitely more than one. James: (eyebrow raise) Really? (looks down at stomach) Meowth: Cats can sense these things, you know.

*James has a puzzled look on his face as he looks down at his stomach. He's feeling the kittens settling down and….gently vibrating?

Meowth: What are they doing now? James: I think they're falling asleep. And purring.

*The next day, James wakes up at noon. Meowth is sitting next to him on the bed.

Meowth: You slept a long time. You must've been beat. James: Bearing a whole litter of kittens is hard work.

*Meowth makes sure his claws don't come out when he strokes James's soft, silky, blue hair. This immediately makes James smile. It also causes the kittens to move, making James sigh.

Meowth: Is it the kittens again? James: Of course. (blushes)

*James and Meowth start kissing and stroking each other. This is very soppy and like a romance novel, but Meowth did impregnate James, so….

*Later, Jessie, James, and Meowth are watching TV. James's mood swings begin to kick in when a romantic telephone commercial plays.

James: (wipes away tears) What a sad commercial. It makes me want to— Jessie: Cry? That's all you've done since you first started this ridiculous relationship! The commercial wasn't that sad. James: (irritated) Are you calling me a crybaby? Jessie: What if I am? That's what you are, anyway. Count one day out of the last five weeks when you didn't cry.

*James glares at her.

James: At least I'm not heartless! Meowth: Quit fighting, you two. It's not good for the kittens. James: (angrily, at Meowth) Haven't you done enough?!

*James flounces out of the room and slams the bathroom door.

Meowth: See what you did to him! You know he's going to be irritable. Jessie: I didn't know James could be irritable. He should wear a mood ring so I know. Meowth: Not funny. Jessie: It wasn't meant to be. Meowth: Do you mean the joke wasn't meant to be funny, or that James wasn't meant to have kittens? Jessie: Yes.

*James is listening to their conversation from the bathroom. He immediately goes to the toilet and throws up. He starts to regret having a Pokébestial relationship and starts to cry silently. A sharp pain makes him crumble into a ball on the floor, sobbing helplessly.

*After James cries for a while, he feels the pain go away. The kittens aren't kicking him anymore and have gone to sleep. James dozes off in front of the toilet.

*Jessie, James, and Meowth don't talk to each other until bedtime, when James apologizes.

James: Jessie? Meowth? Jessie and Meowth: Yes? James: I've been thinking. I may have said some things I didn't mean. I was just irritable from the hormones. I'm sorry. Jessie and Meowth: Apology accepted. James: (voice breaking) And Meowth, if I offended you when I….(sniff)…when I said you've done enough….(gets teary-eyed, then starts crying) I'm sorry! I didn't mean it. I love you. (hugs Meowth tightly to his bosom) Meowth: (smushed) Apology accepted, but not needed. James: Thanks, Meowth. (sniff) Meowth: (smushed) You're welcome, but please stop hugging me. James: Oh. Sorry. (puts Meowth down)

*A few weeks later, James is nine weeks pregnant. He's actually not showing that much, since Meowth kittens are a lot smaller than human babies.

*Every time James has to go to the bathroom, Meowth comes with him in case it's time for the kittens to be born. One night, James gets up to use the bathroom. Meowth goes with him.

Meowth: You'll only have to put up with this for a few more days. James: It feels like….(winces, holds stomach) It feels like a kitten could just pop out now.

*James starts to feel like he needs to poop. He suddenly feels a sharp pain in his stomach.

James: (yells) Meowth! Meowth: What?! What?! James: (strained) I think it's time now. Meowth: Breathe. Lie down.

*James's attempt to birth the kittens backfires. They go back to bed. James gets up several more times in the night.

James: (moans) This is the ninth time I've had to get up.

*Meowth is still in bed. James didn't bother to wake him up. Meowth wakes up to hear a small cry from James. He runs into the bathroom. James is sitting on a towel on the floor, legs spread and pantsless.

Meowth: James! Are you all right? James: (dazed) Yes. (reveals four Meowth kittens) Aren't they precious so far? Meowth: Yeah….Wait a minute, you said "so far." There are more kittens coming? James: Yes. I just feel one more left.

*Meowth goes over to James and coaches him to breathe and push. James is screaming. Luckily, Jessie is a heavy sleeper.

James: (straining and breathless) I can't do it, Meowth. I'm too weak from getting out the other four. Meowth: You can do it, James.

*James screams as the contractions get more intense. He pushes as hard as he can.

James: (nearly crying) Oh, the pain….(squeals, pushes) Meowth: One, two, three, push! James: (straining) Come on….come out….(continues pushing) Meowth: When you push, I'll catch. One, two, three, push! James: EEEEEEE! Kitten: (pops out of James's nethers) Meow! James: Oh my gods! (cries) Meowth: It's so cute! And loud!

*Meowth bites off all the kittens' umbilical cords. James smiles blissfully and opens his pajama top. The first kitten puts their mouth on James's nipple and drinks the milk that comes out. Meowth holds the second kitten up to James's other nipple. The others crawl around and nibble at the afterbirth while they're waiting their turn.

*Months later, the Meowth kittens have grown older and can mostly look after themselves. They've formed a pack and gone hunting. While they're out, James blasts Meowth's rocket off again. A few weeks later, this conversation happens.

James: I think I've acquired a fondness for hotdogs with chocolate sauce and milk. And maybe it's just regular that I cry during telephone commercials. Meowth: It's happening again. James: What are you talking about? (realization hits him) I'm….pregnant?! Again?! (looks down at stomach) Meowth: (sweat-dropping) Heh, heh. Maybe…. James: (trying to sound calm) How many kittens am I likely to have this time? Meowth: Judging by your eating habits and your four-hour nap on the couch yesterday, I'd say….Oh, about ten to twenty. James: Ten to….(faints)

-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: James really should've used Plan B, but knowing Team Rocket's luck with plans, it probably would've failed.

A Worse Pill to Swallow: Second Litter (part two of three of a old Blueshipping Pokémon fic)

The sequel sure is a thing.

Part one is here.

This fic contains:

-Pokémon/Human romantic relationship (warning because some people might be disturbed by it, even though Meowth can consent in this story)

-unexplained mpreg/male pregnancy (I think mpreg is fine, just explain it maybe)

-bizarre anti-abortion overtones (the views expressed in this fic by twelve me do not represent the views of adult me)

-general angst

-swear words

-shaky grasp of the realities of pregnancy

-possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth and extreme out-of-character moments for Brock (I don't even know why I made him a super douche; I actually liked Brock)

-random "Jessiebelle does dark magic" plotline

-weepy!James (even moreso than he is in canon), dickish!Jessie, and generic boyfriend!Meowth

-no, seriously, Brock is just the worst in this fic

-odd ideas about romance

-ellipses abuse

-O-o-O-

*James wakes up on the couch.

James: What happened? Meowth: You fainted. James: You mean I fell asleep. Meowth: What are you talking about? James: It's not yesterday? Meowth: Did you hit your head when you fell, Jimmy? James: I dreamt you told me I was going to have more kittens. Meowth: That wasn't a dream. You fainted and I dragged you onto the couch. James: May I be excused? Meowth: Sure.

*James goes into the bathroom and starts vomiting. Meowth goes in with him. James finishes vomiting and just sits next to the toilet, crying.

James: (sobbing) I just can't stand it. Meowth: You can always take the pills…. James: (sharply) No! (folds arms)

*Meowth is a little surprised by James's tone of voice.

Meowth: Okay, I won't make you do it. James: You better not.

*James's voice is as cold as the snow falling outside Team Rocket's cabin. Meowth decides not to say anything else about the pills.

*A few weeks later, a snowstorm occurs. Team Twerp is wandering around the forest.

Misty: Hey, look, a cabin! Maybe we could ask to stay there.

*They go to the cabin and knock on the door. Jessie answers it.

Jessie: What are you twerps doing here? Misty: We're stranded and we need a place to stay. Jessie: Sorry, we can't. Ash: Why not? Jessie: Because….(gets a Pikachu-stealing idea) I changed my mind. You can stay.

*Ash and friends come inside. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, James is drinking milk. The kittens are asleep. He looks up and sees the twerps entering.

James: What are they doing here? Brock: You're looking a little fat, James. James: Shut up. Brock: Well, you are.

*James shoves Brock up against the wall.

James: You understand that I can sit my so-called "fat" self on your skinny little twerp butt, right? Jessie: Get off the twerp. You'll scare him.

*James backs away from Brock, letting him slide down the wall and onto the ground. Jessie takes James aside and whispers the plan to him.

Jessie: It may interfere with your kittens, but you can probably bear it.

*James looks shocked at the deviousness of Jessie's plan.

Brock: What is your problem? James: (folds arms) Why do I have to tell you? Brock: Just answer the damn question! James: (smirks) No. Brock: What is your freakin' problem?! James: You're my problem! You bug me! Brock: If you think you aren't fat, then why does it bother you? James: Because I'm pregnant, not fat!

*The room is silent. Then Team Twerp starts laughing.

Brock: That's the stupidest thing I ever heard! Who would even want to do it with you? James: Why, you little punk!

*James grabs Brock by his shirt and is about to double slap him.

Meowth: James, calm down! It's not good for your kittens if you're like this! James: (to Brock) How do you think you'd feel if you were going to birth a whole litter of kittens in a week and someone kept bugging you? Brock: Put me down! Put me down! Meowth: Put him down, James.

*James drops Brock. He then storms out of the room into the bathroom, where he slams the door.

Meowth: What did you do to him? Brock: I just asked him what his problem was. Meowth: Never ask James that question. Especially when he's having kittens.

*Meowth goes into the bathroom. James is sitting with his head on the toilet seat. His hair is messy.

Meowth: Are you sick again? James: No. But I think I'm going to be. Meowth: Is it the kittens again? James: Yes. They keep kicking. I tried eating only bland foods, but it's not working. It's been like this since the start. It's almost like the kittens are purposely trying to hurt me. Meowth: They wouldn't be. They don't know any better and why would they want to hurt you? You're giving them life. James: Maybe you're right.

*James shifts slightly, which earns him a kick from the kittens. He winces.

Meowth: James! Are you okay? James: I'll be fine. (feels another kick) Ow! It's just getting worse. (winces) Maybe they're….coming early. (clutches stomach)

*The kittens stop kicking James and go to sleep.

James: I think they're finally asleep. Meowth: Maybe you should go to sleep, too. James: Good idea.

*Later, James is awakened from sleep in the early morning by the kicking of the kittens. He drinks a glass of warm milk and goes back to bed. James's departure from the bed and return wakes Meowth.

Meowth: You okay? James: I feel like they're going to claw their way out of me. Meowth: It must be Jessiebelle. She did dark magic to them. What has she put inside you instead of normal kittens? James: (crying) They're hellcats! All ten or twenty of them! She's put demon kittens inside of me! They're all demon kittens! (sobs)

*James feels a lot of kicks from the kittens. He cries out in pain, cursing his pregnancy.

James: (strained) She's mad that I wouldn't make an heir with her, so she's punishing me, using my body to create demons. That bitch.

*Team Twerp has been listening from the other room.

Brock: So he's really got a jelly doughnut in the oven. I guess he really is well-bred.

*The door they're leaning on swings open. James and Meowth see that they're being spied on.

James: What are you doing spying on us? Brock: I should take some of your "demon kittens" and breed them. Then they'll grow into pretty good battlers. James: Stay away from my kittens when they're born.

*Team Twerp goes back to bed. James turns over.

Meowth: Are you all right? James: Where did I go wrong? I was happy at first, but I don't know what to feel now.

*The next morning at 7:00 AM, a falsetto scream is heard.

Brock: The James trap worked.

*James comes out of the bathroom. His face is flushed and there is a glue trap stuck in his hair.

James: There is a glue trap stuck in my hair. I suggest the person who did this come over here and remove it. (puts hands on hips) I'm not leaving until you do.

*Brock comes over to him and takes out a pair of scissors.

Brock: This will be easy.

*Brock holds the scissors to James's hair and is about to cut some of his hair. James grabs Brock's arm.

James: Drop the scissors.

*Brock drops the scissors.

Brock: How am I going to remove it without scissors?! James: (sugary sweet voice) Well, then, I guess you'll have to find another way, won't you? (folds arms, smiles sweetly) Misty: He does look pretty cute like that. Brock: Whose side are you on?!

*Brock is about to get a handful of James's hair and pull it out of the trap. James flips his hair out of Brock's reach.

James: (giggles innocently) Lay one hand on my hair and you'll no longer have a hand. Brock: So what am I supposed to do? James: I don't know. (giggles a little too sweetly) Brock: First he's a brute, now he's an innocent ditz. James: (steps into Brock's space) What did you say? Brock: I said….There's no dispute! Yeah, we totally need to get that glue trap out. James: (steps out of Brock's space) That's better. (smiles sweetly)

*Brock reads the back of the glue trap.

Brock: It says "comes off victim in warm water." Okay, come over to the sink, James. James: Like I said, I'm not moving until you remove the trap. Brock: God damn it. (under his breath) You can lead a whore to water but you can't make him put his head in the sink. (gets an idea) I know what to do.

*Brock gets a small pail and fills it with water.

Brock: Want a shower? 'Cause I should pour it all over your dirty ass. Cool down the kittens. James: (sugary voice) I wouldn't do that if I were you.

*Brock holds the bucket up to James's hair. James puts his hair in the bucket. The glue trap dissolves and falls off.

James: Now behave yourself. You wouldn't want me to get ugly, would you? Brock: (sotto voce) You're already ugly. James: (ominously) What was that? Brock: Um….nothing! James: (smiles sweetly) That's better.

*James walks back into the bathroom and closes the door.

Brock: How did he possibly hear that?

*Later, in the bedroom….

Meowth: Ash is so annoying. James: It's not Ash, it's Brock. He keeps messing with me. Meowth: All Ash talks about is being a Pokémon master. Give the subject a rest. James: If I hear the word "fat" come out of Brock's mouth one more time….(goes back to bed) Meowth: (surprised) You just got up and now you're getting back in bed? James: (sighs) I'm just tired. Cats sleep for thirteen hours and I guess I should sleep that long for the kittens. Meowth: Actually, kittens sleep for sixteen hours. James: The longer the better. (yawns) Meowth: Are you sure you're not sick? James: I'll be fine.

*In a few seconds, James is in a deep sleep, snoring. Meowth watches him for a while.

Meowth: (thinking) He's so cute when he's sleeping.

*James has a dream where Jessiebelle comes and tries to take his kittens. He wakes up screaming.

Meowth: What's wrong, Jimmy? James: (shakily) I dreamt Jessiebelle tried to kidnap me and make me give birth to the kittens in her dungeon.

*Brock bursts into the room.

Brock: Are the kittens ready to come out?! James: No, and even if they were, you wouldn't be getting any of them. Brock: Oh, come on. You don't mean that. James: I believe I do. Brock: I can heal your pain. James: How? Brock: Give me the kittens and I'll tell you how. James: No. First of all, you're not getting any. Second of all, they haven't been born. Brock: I can heal your pain and help you birth them at the same time. James: No. (backs toward bedroom)

*James runs out of the room. Brock chases him through every room in the cabin. Brock finally traps James behind the couch.

James: (looks up, sees Brock) AHHH! Brock: Won't you let me help you birth the kittens? James: First, you insult me, then you threaten me? No way. If you want kittens, get your own two Meowths, and let them screw each other.

*James gets up and starts pushing Brock backward.

James: I'm going to birth them, and I'm going to keep them. (shoves Brock against the wall) Got that? Brock: (scared) Yes.

*James backs away from the wall, letting Brock fall to the ground.

James: Good day.

*James walks into the bedroom, after shooting a kind of flirtatious smile at Team Twerp.

Misty: Cute smile. Brock: Whose side are you on? Ash: That's the second time today he did that.

*Later that day, they're having lunch. James cooks meatballs and puts chocolate on his portion.

Brock: Why are you pouring chocolate on your meatballs? James: Because I like it.

*James eats every meatball on his plate and every last drop of chocolate. he drinks four glasses of milk. Brock stares at him.

Brock: Are you feeling okay? James: What's it to you?

*James puts his plate in the sink. He begins washing a spoon.

Brock: This fell off of your Pokéball belt. (holds out Pokéball) I'll give it back if you give me a kitten. (waves Pokéball in James's face) James: (slowly, ominously) Give me Victreebel's Pokéball. NOW. (holds up spoon)

*Brock walks over to where James is sitting and gives him the Pokéball.

Brock: (mockingly) Here ya go, Sugar-tits.

*James grabs Brock by his shirt and pulls him close to him.

James: (narrows eyes, smiles sweetly) Don't call me Sugar-tits.

*Victreebel comes out and bites James on the ass.

James: Let go of my sweet ass! (puts Victreebel back in the Pokéball)

*James smiles sweetly at Brock before getting up and walking back into the bedroom.

*Later that day, there is a telephone commercial on the TV. James bursts into tears at it.

Brock: What is your problem? Why are you crying at a commercial? It's just a friggin' commercial! James: You're getting on my last nerve! I'll bear the kittens, but I won't bear your constant harassment! Brock: Why are you even having kittens? Humans don't do that. James: This one does. Brock: Well, you're a Pokébestial freak. James: That's it! I may be a lot of things, such as irritable, hormonal, and emotional, but I am not a freak! Brock: Take a chill pill. Or maybe an anti-pregnancy pill. James: Maybe I will!

*Everyone looks at James, who has just realized what he's said.

Brock: You monster. Do you realize what you just said? James: You're right. I'm a monster.

*James runs into the bedroom, crying.

Meowth: What did you do that for?! Couldn't you see he didn't realize what he said?! Brock: I broke him. (yelling) Hey, James! Do you still have your Moltres personality now, kitten-murderer? James: (from bedroom) Shut up! (screaming) Just shut up, okay? (kicks door closed)

*Loud cursing while crying can be heard from behind the door.

James: That bastard! He knows I plan to have the kittens! He just wants them to come out all fucked up! He just wants an excuse to ridicule me! I hate Brock! I hate Brock! (crying) I am such a fiend for hating! I can't believe I almost considered taking the pills!

*Outside the bedroom door, Meowth is listening in.

Meowth: I better go in and talk to him.

*Meowth goes in. James is kneeling next to the bed with his face buried in the covers.

Meowth: James, what's wrong? James: It just hurts. (sobs) Meowth: That's a good sign. It means they'll come out soon.

-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Nobody is safe from the out-of-character plague.

A Worse Pill to Swallow: The Return of the Jilted Jessiebelle Plot

Jessiebelle kills Dumbledore Meowth! The resurrection ritual will blow your mind!!!1eleven!

Here lies the thrilling conclusion to "A Worse Pill to Swallow."

Part one is here.

Part two is here.

This fic contains: Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; unexplained mpreg/male pregnancy; bizarre anti-abortion overtones; general angst; shaky grasp of the realities of pregnancy and childrearing; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; weepy!James (but can you really blame him, considering what twelve!me did to his life?); dickish!Jessie; generic boyfriend!Meowth; random “Jessiebelle does dark magic” plotline that goes absolutely nowhere; odd ideas about romance; loose understanding of the occult; possibly demonic kitten plotline that goes nowhere; kitten birthing scenes (make it double!); Twerps witness the miracle of Pokébestial childbirth; major character death (that gets undone by the most bullshit of methods); questionable song parody; JAMES EATS A PLACENTA; desecration of grave; ellipses abuse

-O-o-O-

*They all get ready for bed. That night at about 12:30 AM, Meowth is woken up by James shaking him.

James: Meowth! Meowth! I think it's time! Meowth: Breathe and push. (takes James's pants off)

*James starts breathing and pushing. He screams because of the pain.

James: It's not easier the second time! It just hurts more! Meowth: Hold my hand, Jimmy.

*James holds Meowth's hand. His pain increases.

James: (squeezes Meowth's hand) AHHH!

*James's other hand is in a fist.

Meowth: Push, James! James: (crying) I'm trying to!

*Team Twerp is spying on them.

Ash: What the crap?! Brock: This is weird. Misty: ….Maybe we should've camped out in a cave.

*James is pushing as hard as he can. He feels a kitten coming out.

Meowth: Push! James: AHHHH! (pushes)

*The push makes three of the kittens pop out.

Kittens: Meow! James: If I could get this last one out….(straining) Just one more left, Meowth….(squeals, pushes) Meowth: You're almost there! James: (weakly) Help, Meowth…. Meowth: Push, James! James: (pushes) EEEEE!

*A little kitten pops out.

Kitten: Meow! James: Ohhh….(falls back into bed)

*Meowth bites off the umbilical cords, then goes back to gingerly patting and rubbing James's hand.

James: (tired) So I didn't have ten kittens. Jessie: You do realize you just gave birth in front of the Twerps?

*James blushes, smiles sheepishly, and sweat-drops.

Meowth: You should just rest, James. It's late and you just had four kittens.

*Meowth gives the kittens bottled milk pumped from James's nipples. He scrapes the afterbirth onto a plate for them to eat. James goes back to sleep.

*The next day….

James: (sing-songishly) Oh, kittens! It's feeding time!

*James opens his shirt and picks up a kitten. The kitten bites James on the nipple and glares at him.

James: He hates me. I birthed him, and he hates me. (teary) What did I do wrong? Meowth: The others like you.

*All the other kittens sniff and lick at James.

James: I think they're just hungry. Meowth: I'll take care of this one for now. (picks up a milk bottle) James: I'll feed the other three.

*Two of the kittens suckle from James. The third one drinks a bottle of James's milk. The kittens take turns drinking from bottles and suckling from James, like the last litter did.

*A few weeks later, James takes a ride on Meowth's rocket again. A few weeks after this, James wakes up in the middle of the night to vomit.

*Minor detail: the snowstorm has kept up and Team Twerp is still stranded there.

*James gets out the pregnancy test for Pokémon and pees on the grey oval. Meowth notices James isn't in bed with him and gets up. He sees a light under the bathroom door.

Meowth: (knocks on door) Jimmy? You okay in there? James: (spaced out) Meowth? Meowth: Yes, James? James: (spaced out) Would you believe me if I told you that I'm pregnant again? Meowth: This is the third time. James: (spaced out) I know.

*There is silence for a minute. James is thinking about how his life got to this point.

James: Meowth? Will you please come in and nurse me? I'm about to get very, very sick.

*Meowth "nurses" James and makes sure none of the "sickness" lands outside the toilet. That's pretty much all he can do at this point.

Meowth: You definitely have a kitten in there. James: How many this time?

*Meowth gets out the "Kitten 2000 Pregnancy Test," a test that tells how many kittens a Meowth (or a James) will have. James pees on the grey oval. After a minute, a blue "1" appears.

James: Finally….A single birth. Meowth: But it'll probably seem equal to at least three kittens. James: (sighs) I'm used to it.

*James gets off the bathroom floor. He will probably be back there soon.

James: I guess I'll go back to bed. Any suggestions on what I should do?

*James is standing with a hand on his hip. His blue hair looks wet and his white pajamas look translucent because of the sweat. Meowth has a few ideas about what he wants to do with James in bed, but he wisely keeps them to himself.

Meowth: I think you should stay in bed—I mean—off your feet for a while.

*James sits down on the bed, feeling the kitten move.

James: I don't know why, but I'm really nervous this time. Meowth: You shouldn't be nervous. You're practically a pro at this. James: I just feel like something very bad is about to happen.

*Let's skip ahead to see why James is so nervous.

*Jessiebelle breaks in and kills Meowth with an occult knife.

James: No….He can't die. I'm still pregnant with his kitten. Jessie: He's gone, James.

*Like James is going to settle for "he's gone."

James: No. He can't be. He's not. This is just one of my crazy dreams, isn't it? Isn't it, Jessie?! This is just a dream, right?! Right?! Jessie: James, he's dead for real. James: Oh, no….(sits down heavily) No! (starts crying) Jessie: Don't cry, it's not good for the kittens. James: (weakly) This must've been why I was so nervous. (screaming and sobbing)

*The next day is a cold, cloudy day. The weather makes Meowth's gravesite look like a barren field. James comes out of the cabin, dressed entirely in black. He's wearing a black cloak with a small red "R" on it. He looks sad and his unkempt hair is blown limply by the wind. Basically, he looks defeated. He walks over to Meowth's grave and kneels down.

James: Why, Meowth? Why did you have to die? You never got to see your kitten. I'll never get to see your face light up at its birth. Sure, Jessie will help me, but now I'll need a photograph to compare the kitten's looks to yours.

*James stands up. He starts singing quietly.

James: (singing to the tune of "American Pie," the Madonna version) You left me singing….Why, why did Meowth die? We've got kittens, you were smitten by Jessiebelle's knife. We're down to two, with Jessie and I. I can't continue being a bad guy. I can't continue being a bad guy….

*The twerps are watching from a distance.

Misty: That's a nice song. James: (blushes) Thank you. (sighs) Meowth used to love helping me sing the kittens to sleep.

*They stand there silently.

Misty: I should be getting back to the group. James: Goodbye, Misty. Misty: Goodbye, James.

*James goes back into the cabin. His face looks drained of color, except for a red flush because of the cold wind. He goes into the bedroom and lies down in bed. He dreams Meowth's spirit comes back. He wakes up, quietly.

James: Meowth's spirit came back to me. Maybe Meowth will, too.

*James feels the time to give birth coming closer until one stormy night….

James: The kittens are coming! Jessie: Push! James: (pushes and screams) I know I can do this! (pushes) Kitten: (pops out partially) Meow! James: OH MY GODS! (screams, pushes)

*The kitten pops out fully. This time, James must bite off the umbilical cord.

Kitten: Meow! James: He's beautiful. (gets teary-eyed) But Meowth won't see this. (starts crying)

*Jessie comforts James and holds him as he breastfeeds the kitten. A little while later, he and the kitten share the placenta as a snack.

*The next day, after the kitten is more alert, James takes him outside to see Meowth's grave.

James: See that? That's Meowth's grave. He helped give you life. (softly) Unfortunately, you'll never get to meet him. Kitten: Meow? James: He was murdered. (starts to cry) Kitten: Meow. (snuggles up against James)

*The little kitten meows and smiles up at James.

James: (sniff) I love you. And your father did, too. (holds kitten close, starts crying again)

*After a while, James stops crying.

James: (dark voice) I cry too much. Jessie was right. Every single day, I cry.

*James's tone scares the kitten. The kitten starts to cry.

James: (near to tears again) Now I've scared my own kitten. (to kitten) It's all right, I didn't mean to take that tone of voice. I'm sorry I scared you. (sniffles)

*Tears run down James's face. He cradles and rocks the little kitten. The kitten stops crying.

James: It's all right. Don't cry.

*He is answered by a quiet snore and a small meow while breathing. The kitten has fallen asleep.

James: (smiles sadly) How sweet. He snores like a combination of me and….(voice trails off) I don't know what I'm going to do if I end up mentioning….I can't even say my own teammate's name. Am I too traumatized?

*Jessie comes out to comfort James. Wobbuffet comes out of his Pokéball.

Jessie: Get back in, Wobbuffet!

*Wobbuffet goes over to Meowth's grave and pees on it.

James: (gasps) Wobbuffet! Show some respect!

*The dirt shifts. A paw punches out of the earth, followed by the rest of a very dirty Meowth. Jessie and James are surprised.

James: Meowth? You're….you're alive?! Meowth: Apparently, Wobbuffet urine has regenerative properties. (looks at James) Is that the new kitten? James: Yes. I'm sorry you didn't get to see his birth. Meowth: (smiles) Don't worry. I saw it.

*A simple, happy ending to a complicated Pokébestial story.

-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Wobbuffet should pee on my music taste; maybe it'll get better.

The Sad Saga of James Morgan and Company: My Writing Style Was Goblin Mode

Imagine being an eleven-year-old girl who is obsessed with Xena: Warrior Princess (and ripping off the dark plots from it) and Pokémon. Imagine being this kid who, after acting out her fanfics (that involve way too much human sacrifice and crucifixion) with her Barbies, decides she should actually write them down in a form other people can read.

Add a dose of repressed anger issues and you get this.

This fic contains: Colorful language; general angst; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; violence; convoluted occult lore; blood; murderous, occult-powered Jessiebelle; attempted murder; Jessiebelle wants to honor-kill James(?!); Jessiebelle slut-shames James a lot; character death and resurrection; ellipses abuse; Jesus Hades Christ eleven!me tortured James a lot in fic (I don’t know why; he was and still is my favorite Pokémon character); James has bottlecap powers

-O-o-O-o-O-

*Imagine that Jessie, James, and Meowth have been trying witchcraft to do better at their job. It doesn't work for Jessie and Meowth, but it works for James. So he's a witch now. Imagine Jessiebelle is trying to kidnap James and is also a witch. Since James is a witch (whose powers are not supposed to be used for evil) and Team Rocket is an evil organization, the mismatch makes his powers go insane, weakening him.

*Jessiebelle sneaks up behind James while he's sitting at camp. He screams, but Jessiebelle puts a rag with knockout potion over his mouth. He passes out. Meowth comes on the scene.

Meowth: What did you do to him?! Jessiebelle: If he won't marry me, I'll have to marry him. I made him unconscious with a potion. I'll do the same with you.

*Meowth screams. Jessiebelle knocks him out with the potion and runs off with James, who is still unconscious.

*When Meowth comes to, Jessie is there.

Jessie: What happened to you? Where's James? Meowth: Jessiebelle used a potion to knock him out. She did that to me, too. I guess she took James away.

*They go out looking for James. Meanwhile, James comes to. He's chained to a wall. Jessiebelle is standing in front of him.

Jessiebelle: Did you have a nice nap?

*James magically screams so loud, Jessie and Meowth can hear him.

Meowth: That sounded like James!

*Back at the dungeon…

James: What are you trying to do to me? Jessiebelle: If you won't marry me, I'll just have to marry you. By force. And I know you're a witch, so those chains are witchcraft-proof.

*James tries to break the chains with his powers but it doesn't work. He screams. Jessiebelle puts her hand over his mouth.

Jessiebelle: Don't make me use the potion again.

*Jessie and Meowth climb through the window.

Jessie: You can't force him to marry you! Meowth: He doesn't love you!

*James looks relieved to see them.

Jessiebelle: I'll kill him if you two try anything.

*James's eyes widen. Jessiebelle turns to him.

Jessiebelle: You have dishonored your family, you know. If you resist marrying me, I'll have no choice but to kill you.

*James's widened eyes focus on the noose Jessiebelle is holding.

Jessiebelle: Either tie the knot or tie the noose. James: Why should I have to die because I don't want to get married? Jessiebelle: Shut up, or I'll blast you to pieces!

*Jessiebelle takes out a bulky wand that looks like a shotgun. James puts his head down.

Jessiebelle: And don't you dare try to scream again because I've got a really sharp dagger I'd like to test out on some flesh. (pulls out a really sharp dagger) Jessie: Stop threatening him! It makes no damn sense, killing him just because he doesn't want to get married. Jessiebelle: So you want to be killed with him? I can arrange that. James: Don't kill her! Jessiebelle: I told you to shut up, you insolent trollop! (takes out a needle with black liquid in it)

*James can't help it. He struggles against his chains. Jessiebelle pimp-slaps him across his face.

Jessiebelle: I told you, that's useless! Now, stop it! (kicks James) Meowth: You stop it! Quit trying to marry or kill him. I think you just want to marry him to kill him. Jessiebelle: That's not true. If he resists, I kill him. If he accepts, he lives. James: Why would I marry a murderer? Are you going to sacrifice me? Jessiebelle: That's it! I'll make you suffer, little witch! James: No, you won't! I'm not that same weak little child I was before. Jessiebelle: I can trigger your powers to go insane, you know. Jessie: I challenge you to a Pokémon battle, Jessiebelle! Jessiebelle: Fine. If you win, you can keep the little whore. If I win, I keep him. And possibly sacrifice him. Jessie: Don't call him a whore.

*They start the match. Jessie's Arbok wins the match and knocks Jessiebelle's Vileplume out. Jessie, James, and Meowth escape the dungeon. They look for a place to camp out.

Meowth: (to James) Are you okay? James: Why wouldn't I be? Meowth: You're not usually so quiet. James: I'm just tired.

*They find a place to camp out.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Jessiebelle has a new way to kill James if he doesn't marry her. She makes him suffer and beg for death.

*Jessie, James, and Meowth are trying to think of a new plan for stealing Pokémon. Jessiebelle comes out of nowhere and grabs James inconspicuously.

Jessie: Where did James go? Meowth: I don't know. I think I saw him get grabbed by somebody.

*Jessiebelle is running off with James, who is magically screaming as loud as he can so Jessie and Meowth can track him.

Jessiebelle: Will you shut up, you harlot?

*Jessiebelle shuts James up with her knockout potion. When she gets to the dungeon, James wakes up.

Jessiebelle: All right. No more Miss Nice Warlock. James: What do you mean, "no more?" You were never Miss Nice Warlock. Jessiebelle: You're going to suffer until you beg for death. I'll be glad to fuck you up until you die. James: It'll be a cold day in hell before I beg for death. Jessiebelle: Well, I guess you'll be there in hell on that cold day.

*Jessie and Meowth set their tent up right next to the dungeon. Even though it's next to it, Jessiebelle can't see it because James left them a camouflage potion spray.

*Jessiebelle drags James outside (it's a really hot day) and ties him to some dead leafless tree that's in the sun. The sun is right on him and it's "no shadow time." He almost faints. Next, Jessiebelle throws rocks at him, but doesn't kill him with them. Then she makes him carry heavy bricks, barely clothed, through mud on a rainy day. That's his breaking point. James faints and the bricks are cutting his arms and legs, so now he's covered in mud and blood.

*Jessie and Meowth are unaware of all this happening until they find James's limp body lying there. He's not dead. When they take him into their tent, he wakes up.

James: What happened? (tries to sit up, but is still dizzy from the torture in the sun) Jessie: I don't know what she did to you. We just found you lying in the mud. James: I don't know if I remember all of what happened. (tries to sit up again, winces, clutches head) Meowth: Lie down. What happened to you?

*James tells them what he remembers.

James: I don't care what she does to me, I'm not marrying her. Meowth: If that bitch ever tries that again, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but it won't be good. Jessie: So what you're saying is, a fucking-up is in the question. Meowth: Yeah. Pretty much.

*Jessiebelle glances out the window. She squints through a magic scope and sees the tent.

Jessiebelle: Whoever's in that tent, you're squatting on private property and I have a right to shoot! (cocks wand)

*Jessie and Meowth tell James to stay inside. They get out of the tent.

Jessiebelle: Not you bastards again! What'd you do with James? Jessie: He's not with us right now. Jessiebelle: My ass! (jumps out window onto tent)

*Jessiebelle lands next to James.

Jessiebelle: I'm locking you up and throwing away the key!

*James screams. Jessiebelle puts her hand over his mouth. He bites her hand. It doesn't faze her. She takes James inside the dungeon and locks the door behind them.

*Inside….

Jessiebelle: You know what happens now? First, I'll get your little friends.

*Jessiebelle drags Jessie and Meowth in with a sucking wind and chains them to the wall with witchcraft-proof chains.

Jessiebelle: Next I'll test out my new dagger on their necks. James: Don't kill them, kill me. Jessiebelle: What was that? James: I said, kill me instead. Jessiebelle: Fine. (walks over to James and stabs him)

*James slides down the wall, leaving a trail of blood. Jessiebelle unchains Jessie and Meowth.

Jessiebelle: You can't help him now, so I might as well let you free. (leaves in a cloud of red smoke) Meowth: No….(walks over to James) No….he's not dying….we can save him.

*James isn't quite dead yet.

James: I'm sorry. It's true. I am dying. Meowth: No, you're not. I can help you. I'm sorry we didn't save you in time. James: (coughs up blood) She moves too fast. Nobody can stop her. At least she won't bother you now I'm dying. Meowth: You're not dying. Just don't talk, save your strength, maybe you'll live. James: (painfully) Nobody can live through being (breathes with difficulty) mortally wounded. Meowth : Is this goodbye?

*James's eyes close. They don't open again. Meowth holds James's hand in his paw. James's hand is cold.

Meowth: He's dead. Jessie: I guess it was too much for him. The suffering was, I mean.

*Meowth starts to cry. Jessie holds him.

Jessie: Maybe we could try one of those rituals to bring him back. Meowth: But how? The powers didn't come to us. Jessie: Then we'll steal some of Jessiebelle's.

*They find Jessiebelle's spell books and supplies. They find a cauldron and start trying to mix the potions. They sacrifice three Spearow, prick their fingers, and add their own blood to the cauldron. Then they drip their own blood on the floor, making markings, and place James's body in the center. They pour some of the potion on James. He comes back to life.

James: I'm alive. (gasps) Meowth: Don't get worked up. We don't want you fainting when you've just come back to life. James: I'm not worked up. I'm happy.

*The three of them hug and get out of there.

Meowth: I managed to grab this. (pulls out a bottle of potion) But I don't have anything to cover it.

*James zaps a bottle cap out of the air and puts it on the potion bottle. Team Rocket walks into the sunset.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Eleven!me knows way too many synonyms for "whore." Also, James's powers are magical screaming, conjuring bottlecaps, and mixing potions.

The Sad Saga of James Morgan and Company: The First of the Ill-Fated OCs

I made practically a whole boy band of original characters for James to fall in love with. They will, of course, all end up in Jessiebelle's fridge as angst fodder. I'd jokingly say, "Original Character: do not steal," but there's barely anything there to steal.

This fic contains: Colorful language; general angst; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; definite out-of-character moments for Ash (he's kind of ableist holy crap); violence; convoluted occult lore; blood; underdeveloped original character; murderous, occult-powered Jessiebelle; attempted murder/human sacrifice; Meowth gets weirdly descriptive about death; character (Pokémon) death and resurrection; ellipses abuse; Jesus Hades Christ eleven!me tortured James a lot in fic (you always hurt the ones you love i guess)

-O-o-O-o-O-

*Imagine Team Rocket is just walking, minding their own business, until Jessiebelle kidnaps James again. Jessie and Meowth follow her.

Jessiebelle: You stupid, stupid little strumpet. Why do you even try to run from me? You know resistance is futile. You can't run and you can't hide. James: If I can't hide, how come it takes you so long to find me? Jessiebelle: Well, you can hide, but not for long.

*Jessiebelle sprays a potion on James. He falls to the ground, writhing in pain.

James: What is that stuff? Jessiebelle: It's a special potion for disobedient witches.

*James faints. Jessie and Meowth jump in the window.

Jessiebelle: Why must you break my windows? In fact, why must you ruin my plans of sacrificing your friend? Jessie: Unlike you, we don't want to control him.

*Jessiebelle's guard, a boy with green hair and green eyes, walks in.

Guard: Did you kill him?! Jessiebelle: No, but I'm going to. Guard: (looks at James) Don't kill him. Jessiebelle: And why shouldn't I kill him? He's evil, you know. Guard: He's not evil. In fact, I don't think he could be a bad guy.

*While Jessiebelle and her guard are arguing, Jessie and Meowth take James out of there.

Meowth: Wake up, James!

*Meowth starts gently patting James's cheek. James wakes up.

James: What happened? Meowth: You were poisoned by that crazy bitch Jessiebelle. James: It wouldn't be the first time. (winces)

*James takes out a vial of reddish-brown liquid. He turns pale while drinking it and clearly is not enjoying it.

Meowth: What is that stuff? James: (coughs) It's Jigglypuff blood, not taken violently. It's supposed to be an antidote. (doubles over, tries not to vomit)

Meowth: Feel any better? James: Not right away.

*Later that day, James's powers are going insane, which seems to drive him crazy.

James: (softly) I hate her. Meowth: What? James: (louder) I hate her. Jessie: What's the matter? James: I hate her! I hate her! I HATE HER! Meowth: Calm down. Who do you hate? James: I hate that crazy bitch! Jessie: You mean Jessiebelle. James: Yes.

*No one speaks until the next day because of that violent outburst James had. Ash comes across Team Rocket.

Ash: It's Team Rocket! What trick do you have up your sleeves now? Jessie: Just piss off, twerp.

*James is standing with his head down. All he can think about is how he hates Jessiebelle.

James: I hate her. Meowth: Uh-oh. Jessie: Not this shit again. Ash: What?! James: I hate her. Ash: What the hell are you talking about?! James: (screaming) I hate that crazy bitch Jessiebelle! Ash: (backing away) Are you sure you're not the crazy bitch? James: How do you think you'd act if someone wanted to sacrifice you?! Ash: Okay, call the guys in white coats. James: (hisses) I don't need them. I'm not a crazy bitch, I'm a sane witch! Ash: Right now, you sound like a cat. Meowth: Hey! I resemble that remark! Ash: Whatever drugs you're on, I'm gonna just say no. James: I am not on drugs! You're full of shit, you little twerpy bastard! Shut the hell up! Ash: (dubiously) Right.

*Jessie pulls James back and dumps a vial of green potion on his head. James blinks, then seems to snap out of a trance.

James: What was I saying? Ash: That you're not a crackhead? Meowth: Let's just get outta here.

*Jessie and Meowth lead James away to find a place to camp. When they find a good spot, Meowth makes James lie down.

Meowth: After that outburst, you should probably rest. James: What did I do and why don't I remember anything? Meowth: Let's just say you got a little bit mad.

*James sighs. This was clearly the work of Jessiebelle's dark magic.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Jessiebelle traps Jessie, James, and Meowth in a cage. She decides to leave them there for a while.

*They're clawing and trying to batter their way out. Jessiebelle ignores them.

Jessie: This isn't working. We're going to have to try and get the keys. James: I don't think we'll ever get out. She wants to leave us in here until we beg to die. Meowth: I think all our skin will rot away and our organs will dry up and our blood will evaporate before we beg for death. I'd rather have my brain disintegrate than beg to die.

*They're in different cages. Jessie is in one cage while James and Meowth are in a second cage.

Meowth: I'm not going to beg to die. James: Neither will I. Jessie: I definitely won't.

*Jessiebelle comes back in.

Meowth: Ya hear that? You're not gonna win this! Jessiebelle: Shut up, hell cat! (kicks Meowth, knocking him out) Don't tell me what I will and won't do. Damn you! James: (crawls over to Meowth) What have you done to him?! (holds Meowth)

*Jessiebelle leaves. James tries to nurse Meowth back to health magically. Jessiebelle comes back in and sees James holding Meowth with tears streaming down his cheeks.

James: You killed him. Jessiebelle: No, I didn't.

*James's eyes start glowing ominously. He's got a dark look on his face. But for a second, he looks hurt.

Jessiebelle: I wouldn't do that if I were you. This cage is witchcraft-proof. (to her guard) Tylas, watch these three. See that they don't escape. And keep a very watchful eye on that boy. (walks away)

*Tylas watches them. James is still crying silently.

Tylas: Why are you crying? James: Meowth is going to die. I hate Jessiebelle. Tylas: To tell you the truth, I don't really like her either.

*James and Tylas look in each other's eyes.

Tylas: What's wrong? James: (seems to snap out of a trance) Nothing. (sighs sadly) Maybe she didn't kill him. If you kill a Pokémon out of spite, you get cursed.

*James puts his ear to Meowth's heart. His eyes glaze over. His face gets really pale. He cries out.

Tylas: What's wrong? James: (sobbing) She killed him. Jessie: She killed Meowth?! James: Yes. (sobs) Jessiebelle: What's all this noise about? James: You know damn well what it's about. Jessiebelle: True, but I want to see if I'm right. James: You killed Meowth. Jessiebelle: I was right. (walks out again) Jessie: James, couldn't you use that life potion on Meowth? James: I didn't think of that.

*James sprays the life potion on Meowth. They don't even need to do the whole routine with the sacrifices this time. Meowth comes back to life.

Meowth: I'm alive again. James: I'm so glad you're alive. Jessie: So am I. Tylas: I'm glad, too.

*They manage to escape.

Jessiebelle: How could you let them escape?! Tylas: I don't know. I was hiding the key. Jessiebelle: There's always tomorrow.

*Meanwhile, Jessie, James, and Meowth are in the forest, looking for a place to camp out.

Jessie: I think it was really strange that Tylas was glad Meowth was alive. James: He said he didn't like Jessiebelle that much. Meowth: It was nice of him to help us escape. Jessie: Definitely. Don't you think so, James?

*James doesn't answer. He's staring into space.

Meowth: Hello? Anybody home?

*Jessie waves her hand in James's face.

James: What? What were we talking about? Jessie: We were talking about how it was nice of Tylas to help us escape. James: Oh, yeah. Him. (sighs) Meowth: Why do you keep daydreaming when we talk about him? (figures it out) Hey, I know why! James: What? Jessie: I think you're in love with Tylas. James: (blushes) I'm not. I just….like him a lot. Meowth: That's love.

*James thinks about this for a while.

James: Okay. So Maybe I'm in love with Tylas. Meowth: Then I'll go tell him. James: Wait! Come back here!

*James chases after Meowth. They eventually find a place to camp out.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: If you kill a Pokémon out of spite, you get cursed. This story must be a Poké serial killer, then.

The Sad Saga of James Morgan and Company: Nobody Is Safe

More of my Pokémon occult AU, barely-there OCs, and James whumpage (I swear he's my favorite character I don't know why I did this to him).

This fic contains: Colorful language; general angst; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; underdeveloped original characters (and their fridging); violence and blood; convoluted occult lore; murderous, occult-powered Jessiebelle (now with fucked up whip action!); attempted murder; main character death (RIP Jessie); Jessiebelle is really messed up; ellipses abuse; Jesus Hades Christ eleven!me tortured James a lot in fic (this extends to Jessie and Meowth it seems); James still has magical powers

-O-o-O-o-O-

*Imagine Tylas quit being Jessiebelle's guard because he didn't want to help kill James. He figures out that James is in love with him. Jessiebelle decides to kill him by putting a curse on James. So, because James loves Tylas, if they kiss each other, Tylas will die.

*James is running from his Victreebel, which is chasing him. Tylas is running, too. He wants to get away from Jessiebelle's dungeon. They both run into each other.

James: (gets up) I'm sorry. It's my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going. Tylas: I wasn't looking either. And I was running too fast. I should be sorry.

*They both look into each other's eyes. Victreebel ruins the romantic moment by pouncing James. James gets Victreebel back into the Pokéball. Tylas is looking at him.

Tylas: Are you okay? James: (shyly) Yes. (blushes) Tylas: You sure? You're turning red. James: I'm fine. (blushes harder)

*They stand there like that for a few seconds.

Tylas: Are you, by any chance, in love with me? Is that why you're so shy and blushing? James: (breathes) Yes. Tylas: Wow. (smiles) James: Well, I have to get back to the camp now. Tylas: Okay.

*They walk away from each other.

Meowth: Did you tell him? James: Yes. At least I didn't kiss him. Then he'd die.

*The next day, the trio and Tylas walk toward each other.

Tylas: James, I know you're kind of shy around me, so I'll make this short. I love you.

*This is too much for James. He bursts into tears.

Tylas: Was it something I said? James: I'm sorry….I shouldn't have started crying. (sniffles) It's just that….Jessiebelle put a curse on me and if I kiss you, you'll die. Tylas: I still love you. James: So do I. But I can't kiss you. Tylas: That's okay.

*Jessiebelle is spying on them.

Jessiebelle: He's too smart. He won't make a mistake. I'll have to kill Tylas myself. James will either beg me to kill him, or die of a broken heart.

*Jessiebelle traps James and Tylas. Jessie and Meowth follow them. Jessiebelle gets out a dark occult knife. She locks James in a cage.

Jessiebelle: Now you'll witness the death of your lover! James: No! Let me die for him! Jessiebelle: No, this time, you can't die for your friend. I'm going to dip this knife in a very powerful potion. It's so powerful, your life potion and your powers won't be able to bring him back to life. I call it "Pure Death." (dips dark occult knife in the pure death potion)

*Jessiebelle stabs Tylas with the the dark occult pure death knife. James's vocal cords lock up and his breathing is shaky.

Jessiebelle: You want his dead body? James: (shakily) Yes.

*James grabs Tylas and gets out of there.

James: You're not going to die. You can live. I can save you. Tylas: She stabbed me with the pure death knife. James: Maybe she was lying about how powerful it was. Tylas: She wasn't. I know that potion. I saw her make it. I will always love you. James: I will, too.

*Tylas dies.

Meowth: You okay? James: No. (is quiet awhile) Maybe I'm not meant to love anyone. (gets up and walks away) Meowth: Where are you going? James: To get a shovel and to bury him.

*Jessie and Meowth see James standing out there in the rain, burying Tylas. He says something, but they can barely hear it. Then he comes back.

*The next day….

Meowth: Love is cruel. James: I hate that word now. Meowth: What?! James: I hate the "L" word. Jessie: You're being ridiculous. James: Everyone I love dies. I managed to bring Meowth back to life, but Tylas is gone. If one more person I love dies, I might consider committing suicide. Meowth: You must've liked him a lot to feel that way now. James: I did. (sighs heavily) I don't want to hurt your feelings, but can I please be left alone for a while? Meowth: You're not hurting our feelings.

*Jessie and Meowth go into the tent. James stays outside. He lets go of the fact that Tylas is dead and realizes that sometimes when you really love a person, you have to let them go.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Jessiebelle captured James and then Jessie and Meowth followed them and got chained up, too. Jessiebelle injects poison into James. It isn't the pure death poison or some other deadly poison. She sets off a bomb, leaves the dungeon, and lets it blow up. Jessie, James, and Meowth blast off, get separated, and land in three different places. Jessie lands in a lake. James lands in a tree. Meowth lands in another dungeon.

*Jessie gets out of the lake.

Jessie: I wonder what the other two are doing.

*A bunch of kids see her coming out of the lake and start laughing. Meanwhile, James is up in a tree, on a branch. He loses his balance and falls. The tree branch snaps and falls. It lands on his head and knocks him out. At a dungeon….

Meowth: This must be Jessiebelle's new dungeon. (looks around) I'm never blasting off again.

*At the lake….

Jessie: I would take off my skirt and wring it out if all those kids weren't staring.

*At the tree a blond boy finds James. The boy's name is Lucian.

Lucian: He's hurt really badly. Jessiebelle doesn't have to know about this.

*Another boy (red-haired) comes out of the bushes.

Boy: What happened? Lucian: This boy is really hurt.

*The other boy's name is Lenny. He's Lucian's friend.

Lenny: How could he have gotten all those injuries? He looks so young. Lucian: He's only seventeen. His parents want him to marry Jessiebelle, but Jessiebelle has been abusing him. I'm Jessiebelle's new guard. It's a shame he's being abused. Lenny: How has he not died? Lucian: He's a witch, so he has some slight protection against her. But I'm going to protect him more.

*Lucian spreads a paste on James's leg where the poison was injected into him.

Lucian: He's got a bad head injury. Jessiebelle must've hit him. Or maybe he fell out of a tree.

*James wakes up.

James: Where am I? (sits up with difficulty) Lucian: I'm going to help you. I don't care what Jessiebelle thinks. Where are your friends? James: I don't know. We got separated when Jessiebelle blew up the dungeon. Lenny: Who are your friends? James: One of them is a girl named Jessie. She looks exactly like Jessiebelle, but tougher and with longer hair. The other one is a talking Meowth. Lenny: A talking Meowth? I think you should lie back down. James: But it's true. Lucian: He's right. I've seen the talking Meowth. They seem quite close. What happened to you? James: Jessiebelle injected poison into me and blew up the dungeon. Somehow, when we blasted off, Jessie, Meowth, and I got separated. I landed in a tree, but I lost my balance and fell. Then something hit me on the head and I blacked out.

*Jessie and Meowth step out of the bushes.

Meowth: What are you doing? Lucian: I'm helping him. Jessie: A likely story. Lucian: But I want to help him. Meowth: So you can earn his trust and then ambush him when he least expects it. Lucian: No! It isn't like that. I just found him unconscious a few minutes ago. He told me he got separated from you and he didn't know where you were. Meowth: You gained that much of his trust to find that out. Lucian: I took care of his wounds. Meowth: Usually he does that himself. Lucian: He was unconscious.

*Jessie and Meowth share a look.

Meowth: Okay. You can help him. But we'll stay with you to make sure there's no funny business. Lucian: (to James) I'll take care of you.

*James is looking up at Lucian adoringly. Team Rocket befriends Lucian and Lenny. James is in love with Lucian.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Jessiebelle wants to make James die of sadness. She kills Lucian. Then she decides to try to kill Jessie, then James will commit suicide, ask Jessiebelle to kill him, or die of sadness.

*The trio is walking along the road. Jessiebelle grabs James, knocks him out with her potion, and runs. She comes to a toll booth in the middle of the forest.

Toll Booth Attendant: Where are you going? Jessiebelle: Sorry. I can't tell. It's top secret.

*Later, Jessie and Meowth come to the toll booth.

Toll Booth Attendant: You again?! Jessie: That was just someone who looked exactly like me. Which way did she go? Meowth: And was she carrying a boy? Toll Booth Attendant: She went that way. (points) Yes, she was carrying a boy. Jessie: Did you see what the boy looked like? Toll Booth Person: He had long violet hair. His eyes were closed. He was wearing a uniform similar to yours. Why? Do you think she's going to do something bad to him? Meowth: She's going to kill him.

*They find Jessiebelle's dungeon. James is locked up in a cage. He's kicking the door and trying to blast it open with his powers.

Jessiebelle: Kicking it and using your powers won't do anything. James: I have to at least try!

*Jessie and Meowth come in.

Jessiebelle: Since you're here, I'll just kill one of you. I can't kill that hell cat or I'll get cursed, so I'll have to kill you. James: No. Don't you kill her. Let me die for her! Jessie: James, you're too young to die. I'll die for you. James: No. I couldn't save Tylas and Lucian, but I'm going to save you. Jessiebelle: (dips dark occult knife in pure death potion) I think I'll end this argument. (stabs Jessie)

*James starts screaming and kicking the cage door to get it.

James: You bastard! How could you?! Jessiebelle: Young witches. Always so temperamental. (lets James out)

*James grabs Jessie's dead body, grabs Meowth by the hand, and gets out of there.

James: She's already dead. I didn't even get to say goodbye. (starts to cry softly)

*Meowth can't say anything because he's crying, too. James gets a shovel and buries Jessie.

*The next day, Jessiebelle jumps out of a tree and lands on her feet in front of James and Meowth. She's dressed like Jessie.

James: Jessie? Is that you? Jessiebelle: It's me. Your worst nightmare. Meowth: You're not Jessie. Jessiebelle: Meowth, that's right.

*James faints. Jessiebelle is about to stab James.

Meowth: Fuck off of him! (scratches Jessiebelle across the face)

*Jessiebelle screams and runs off.

Meowth: James, wake up!

*James wakes up.

James: What happened? Meowth: You passed out when Jessiebelle came back.

*Meowth notices James trembling.

Meowth:What's wrong? James: She couldn't have made a Team Rocket uniform that quickly. She would've had to take it off Jessie's body. She dug up Jessie's grave and disrespected her body. Meowth: You're sweating. James: I hate Jessiebelle. Meowth: So do I. James: What did Jessie ever do to her? Why did she have to kill her and do that to her dead body? Meowth: We've gotten killed by her, too. What did any of us do to her to make her kill us? James: I think she wants to make me die of sadness or beg for death. She's getting back at me for not marrying her. Meowth: That could be right. James: I think I should put something on Jessie's grave. Meowth: What are you going to put there?

*James gets up. He goes over to Jessie's grave (which is next to Tylas's grave) and takes out one of his roses. It's a blood red rose. There's a faded pink one on Tylas's grave.

Meowth: But that's your rose you say the motto with. James: I know. I'll carry a black rose because I'm in mourning. Meowth: She'd probably want us to continue saying the motto as we steal Pokémon. James: I don't know if I can continue to be a Team Rocket member. I think she'd want me to, and I want to honor her memory. Meowth: I want to, too. James: Why don't I just dye my uniform black?

*Jessiebelle jumps out of a tree again. She grabs James. Meowth runs after them. They all end up at the dungeon.

Jessiebelle: Marry me or die. I know a great way to kill you.

*Jessiebelle pokes James in the dick with the handle of a dark occult knife. Meowth manages to free James, take him by the hand, and run out of there.

Meowth: Why don't we tell Officer Jenny about this? James: She'd never believe a Team Rocket member. She'd probably laugh if I told her I was sexually abused.

*Jessiebelle kidnaps James and his grandparents. Meowth gets catnapped (or Poké-napped) too.

Jessiebelle: I thought you could use your old-age wisdom to set your grandson straight. (whips James around the waist)

*The whip wraps around James's waist and starts choking him. Jessiebelle tugs on the whip, trying to strangle James.

James's grandfather: What are you doing to him?!

*Jessiebelle lets go of the whip. James falls backward, unconscious. His grandparents catch him before he falls.

James's grandmother: This is madness. Meowth: Why are you killing him?

*James's grandfather is holding his body.

James's grandfather: You killed him. Meowth: (listens to James's heartbeat) He's not dead. He's just unconscious.

James's grandmother: You're going to be all right.

*James comes to.

James: What happened? Meowth: Jessiebelle tried to strangle you to death. James's grandfather: You leave our grandson alone. Jessiebelle: And if I don't?

*Growlie comes in and sets Jessiebelle on fire. She pours water on the fire. Meowth scratches her face. Everybody else runs out of there, taking Meowth with them.

James's grandmother: I'm so sorry we didn't intervene earlier when your parents tried to force you to marry Jessiebelle. We didn't know the danger they were putting you in. James: It's okay. They covered up a lot.

*After James's grandparents and Growlie leave, Meowth comes up to James.

Meowth: I guess it's just the two of us. James: Yeah. Just us. Meowth: Let's go.

*James and Meowth walk into the sunset.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Even in the middle of nowhere in an occult-infested forest, you can't escape the toll booths.

The Sad Saga of James Morgan and Company: I Still Have Questions

If you were (or still are) a regular viewer of Xena: Warrior Princess, you will probably recognize the inspiration for this fic as the season three episode "Forget Me Not." You will also notice that eleven!me completely mangled it.

This fic contains: Colorful language; possible out-of-character moments for James and Meowth; convoluted occult lore; murderous, occult-powered Jessiebelle; ellipses abuse; definite out-of-character moment for Ash; original character; attempted suicide on astral plane/alternate timeline; violence; Jessiebelle is really messed up; Butch and Cassidy are pretty terrible, too; Jessie is still dead; James actually has useful powers (?!); Jesus Hades Christ eleven!me tortured James (and Meowth!) a lot in fic (this particular warning is getting a lot of use isn't it)

-O-o-O-o-O-

*James and Meowth are still mourning Jessie. Jessiebelle is still after James. One day, James and Meowth are walking in the forest when they come across a strange building. It has a sign that says, "Answer Shack: Any questions will be answered, whether you like it or not." It looks like a stone temple.

Meowth: Do you have any questions? James: (thinks awhile). Yes. Several.

*James goes in, but the two guards don't let Meowth in.

Meowth: Hey, what's the big idea? Guard One: Only one inquirer is allowed at a time. Meowth: I don't have any questions. I just wanted to go in with my friend. Guard Two: The questions must be asked and answered in private.

*In the temple, James is standing and looking around. A boy who looks an awful lot like Tylas is standing across from him. James is looking at him with a frightened look on his face.

Temple Keeper Tylas look-alike: What is wrong, James? James: (whispering) Nothing.

*The boy even sounds like Tylas, except his voice is monotone. He's also a witch.

Temple Witch: What do you wish to know? James: Why did all the things that happened to me have to happen to me? Temple Witch: I know what you are talking about. I have been watching you. I have seen you witness the death of your chosen sister and best friend as well as the death of your true love. I have seen you go through pain only a power-carrier can survive. I know the answer to all your questions. It all had to happen to you because you are the Chosen One. If all of that had not happened to you, history would have been changed. And because you are a good bad guy, meaning that on the outside you are a bad guy, but on the inside, you cannot stand being bad. You will kill yourself if you steal one more Pokémon. You will want your Meowth friend to scratch your heart out if your plan to steal Ash's Pikachu actually works. James: No…. Temple Witch: Yes. It may be painful, but it is the truth. You cannot deny it. James: No. I like being part of Team Rocket. I like being evil and nasty. Temple Witch: Admit it. You are not fit to be a bad guy and you know it.

*James tries to break away from him, but for every step backward he takes, the Temple Witch takes a step forward. Even if the Temple Witch weren't taller than him, he'd be afraid.

Temple Witch: You are the perfect one for my experiment.

*Meanwhile, outside….

Meowth: Let me in, NOW!

*Meowth hears James scream. The guards let him in. Meowth sees James lying unconscious on the floor. The Temple Witch stands over him.

Meowth: (screams) What have you done to him?! Temple Witch: I dosed him with this. (holds up a sack of powder) I will take you into what he is thinking and experiencing now.

*The Temple Witch takes Meowth into a back room to show him what James is experiencing in the astral plane dimension. It's mostly what would happen if James had never met Jessie and Meowth.

Meowth: You forced him to think these awful thoughts? Temple Witch: It was necessary. (points to a lonely-looking Pokémon) Look over there. Does that cat look familiar? Meowth: Is that….? Temple Witch: Yes. That is you.

*The cat he pointed to could talk, but….

Temple Witch: What is wrong with this picture? Meowth: I don't know. All I see is a cat talking. Temple Witch: He is talking to himself. This is where you would be if you had never met James, just after Jessie died. All alone.

*Some people take him away.

Temple Witch: Listen. Person taking Meowth away: Where is your owner? Can you really talk and understand us? Meowth in James's dream: She died. Person: We'll have to set up an orphanage. Dream Meowth: An orphanage?! Please don't take me there! Person: I'm sorry, but we can't let you stay on the streets if you used to have a trainer. (takes him away) Temple Witch: That is what would have happened. Now, look at this.

*They're at a mansion, looking through the window.

Meowth: That's James! I don't see anything different about him. Temple Witch: Look closely. At his expression. Look what that woman is doing to him. Meowth: That's Jessiebelle! But she's got a whip and a wand. James looks so scared and sad. Temple Witch: He is not just scared and sad. He is frightened and miserable. Now, watch.

*Jessiebelle closes the door and locks it. James sits, shaking. He's crying. Jessiebelle hits him.

Meowth: Don't let her do this to you! Temple Witch: He cannot hear or see you. Meowth: I don't want to see any more of this. Temple Witch: We are not finished. Look.

*James is in the dungeon. He's doing something with a rope.

Meowth: What's he doing? Temple Witch: He had to tie the knot. Now he will tie the noose. Meowth: What's that supposed to mean?! Temple Witch: He is committing suicide.

*Jessiebelle comes in. She makes James put the noose away. He's now like a slave. He can't talk without permission.

Meowth: She's hurt him so much. Temple Witch: He is not allowed to cry. One tear could mean death for him. Meowth: (crying) Stop! Take me back to reality. I want to see the real James. Not some emotionless, voiceless boy who happens to be the same person. Temple Witch: It is now time to return.

*They go back to reality. James wakes up.

Temple Witch: What both of you just saw and experienced was a page from your life's history ripped out. The page where you met each other. (disappears into a cloud of smoke)

*James picks up Meowth and runs as fast as he can trying to get as far as he can from that temple. Later that day….

Meowth: Why are you sitting on that rock? James: (flat, monotone voice) I'm thinking. (wanders back to the tent)

*James's face is pale and his eyes are glazed over. Meowth could swear on Jessie's grave that an eerie green glow is coming from James's green eyes. Meowth follows him into the tent.

Meowth: If there's something wrong, please talk to me.

*James glances at Meowth, even though he isn't really looking at Meowth.

James: (flat voice) It's just that boy. He looks too much like Tylas. Meowth: (thinking) I wish I had the old James back. Not….this distant boy who looks at everyone with an empty stare and wanders around like a ghost. I want my only living friend back.

*Meowth starts to cry.

James: (flat voice) What's wrong? (turns to face Meowth)

*James's empty stare and the lack of color on his face only makes Meowth cry harder.

Meowth: I'm worried about you. James: (flat voice) Why ever would that be? I'm fine. Meowth: No, you're not. You talk like a robot. You wander around like a ghost. You have that distant look in your eyes. You're almost as white as your uniform. James: (soft, flat voice) I've always been like this. Meowth: (crying) No, you haven't! I just want the old James back. The one who even though he could only smile weakly, he'd smile anyway.

*James is quiet for a minute. Meowth thinks he sees a very small trace of emotion on James's face. When James turns to face him fully, he has that emotionless expression and empty stare back on.

James: (flat voice) There's nothing wrong with me. (sighs) Meowth: Even your sighing sounds monotone. James: (flat voice) Maybe after a good night's rest, we'll both feel better.

*They go to sleep. The next day, James wanders off to that rock he sat on the day before. The twerps notice him.

Ash: It's Team rocket! What are you up to now?

*James doesn't answer him.

Ash: What's the deal with him?

*James turns in Ash's direction. He has that distant look in his eyes.

Ash: He's giving me he creeps. Brock: He looks strange. Like a ghost, except he's not floating or see-through.

*Misty walks up to James.

Misty: What's wrong? James: (flat voice) Nothing. Meowth: He's been like that for hours.

*Misty waves her hand in front of James's face. He doesn't seem to respond.

Misty: He's so pale and quiet. Why is that? Meowth: I don't know. James: (flat voice) It's something I saw yesterday. Misty: What was it?

*James tells her in a flat monotone voice. His eyes are halfway open, like he's in a trance. After hearing the story, the twerps are disturbed and leave. James is trying to support himself by leaning on a nearby tree.

Meowth: I think he's draining your energy. James: (flat voice, getting shakier) I'm fine. Maybe my powers are just going insane again.

*James shakes violently, breaks away from the tree, and runs to a bush to throw up.

Meowth: You sure don't seem fine to me.

*James looks up again while wiping his mouth. He seems to have rejected whatever powder he took in the temple. The distant James dissolves. James breaks down in tears.

James: (crying) That temple witch was Tylas's ghost, being controlled by Jessiebelle.

*Meowth comforts James and then walks him back to the tent to rest. Later that evening, Meowth decides to cook dinner.

Meowth: We're having soup. It'll go down easier for you. (hands James a bowl) James: Thanks.

*The next day, as they're walking through the woods, they come across Butch and Cassidy.

Cassidy: I don't see Jessie anywhere. I guess she couldn't cut it in Team Rocket after all.

*James and Meowth glare.

Butch: You two should go ahead and quit while you're behind. You're not fit to be Team Rocket members. Cassidy: Are you still shitty at training that Victreebel? Did it finally snap and eat Jessie's hair off? Is that why she left you? Butch: Or did all your failures drive her to make a final blast off?

*James's hands curl into fists.

James: JESSIE WAS MURDERED, YOU UTTER CUNTS!

*James zaps lightning at Butch and Cassidy. They scream and run off. James sinks to his knees and stares at his hands.

Meowth: Ha! You sure showed them! (turns to James) James? James: I could've killed them…. Meowth: But you didn't. James: That doesn't matter! (trembling) Meowth: I think you should lie down. James: Let's just set up camp.

*They set up camp. James goes into the tent and lies down on his sleeping bag. Meowth follows.

Meowth: I'm worried about you. First, Jessiebelle tries to kill you, then she kills Jessie, now this. I hate to say this, but maybe we can't fight her anymore. James: What are you saying?! Meowth: Maybe we should surrender. James: No! I'm not going down without a fight. It's even in our motto! "Surrender now or prepare to fight!" I have to live up to it. Even if we lose. (sighs sadly) Jessie would want us to. Meowth: I miss Jessie, too. And we're not even near her grave. James: It's not just Jessie I miss. That temple witch reminded me of Tylas. Meowth: I see a pattern here. You loved Tylas, so Jessiebelle killed him. Jessie is our friend, so Jessiebelle killed her, and….

*James's eyes widen.

James: You're the only one left. (starts crying quietly) Meowth: I won't die. And I won't leave you. James: I will protect you.

*James protects Meowth and they manage to avoid Jessiebelle for a while.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: If a person, place, or organization claims to have all the answers, RUN.

The Sad Saga of James Morgan and Company: The Trouble Is Made Double

In which James loses his blood innocence (first kill drama) but gains a doppelganger.

This fic contains: Colorful language; possible out-of-character moments for James and Meowth; convoluted occult lore; murderous, occult-powered Jessiebelle; ellipses abuse; original characters; blood and violence (including sexual violence); Jessiebelle slut-shames James a lot; Jessie is still dead; Jesus Hades Christ eleven!me tortured James (and Meowth!) a lot in fic (and then I decided one James wasn't enough); James still has magical powers

-O-o-O-o-O-

*Jessiebelle kidnaps James again. Meowth meets Lenny and they both follow.

*At the dungeon, Jessiebelle has a new guard named Tyrel, who looks down at James mockingly.

Jessiebelle: Tyrel, help me find a way to punish this strumpet. James: I'm no strumpet! I'm still a virgin! Jessiebelle: I would've thought you'd sin with Tylas or Lucian. James: Don't you say their names. Tyrel: If you want, I could dig them up for you. James: I will beat the piss out of you. Tyrel: I'd like to see you try, whore-lock.

*James starts punching and kicking Tyrel. Tyrel is bigger than him, so his fighting doesn't do anything.

Tyrel: You're so soft. Will you love me like the other guards?

*Tyrel grabs James's ass and pulls him down. James bites Tyrel on his dick.

Tyrel: Get this crazy ho off my fuckin' dick!

*Meowth and Lenny come in. Jessiebelle whips James.

Meowth: He fights good, in a dirty way.

*Jessiebelle pulls James off Tyrel's dick. Meowth and Lenny get James out of there.

Meowth: That was weird. James: He grabbed my arse and called me a whore. Meowth: Now I see why you did that.

*Suddenly, a trap closes around James's leg. He shrieks.

Meowth: What's wrong? James: I think Jessiebelle set a trap and I fell into it.

*Meowth and Lenny pry the trap open and get James's leg out, somehow managing to avoid the powder smeared on it. James looks relieved until he sees the powder seeping into his skin. His eyes widen.

Meowth: What's wrong? James: It has poison on it. (winces) I'm starting to think the universe has something against me. Meowth: You and me both.

*James continues to put antidote on the poison.

James: (sighs) I'm just a bad luck charm. If life was a test, I'd get an "F." You're probably better off without me. Meowth: Don't say that. (grabs James's hands) We're stronger as a team. I will not leave you behind.

*They manage to keep away from Jessiebelle and Tyrel for a while.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Tyrel made James so mad, he did an awful thing.

*James, Meowth, and Lenny are walking through the woods. Tyrel kidnaps James. Meowth and Lenny follow them (as usual). Tyrel does everything to torture James. Jessiebelle just stands by watching and smiling at the whole scene. Tyrel grabs James's nether areas. James tries to kick Tyrel. Tyrel pushes James against a wall with his foot. James gets away from the wall and punches Tyrel. Tyrel grabs James.

Tyrel: You are a disgrace and dishonorable for refusing to marry Jessiebelle. You must be punished! James: Let go of me!

*James starts fighting like mad. He grabs the pure death knife and stabs Tyrel three times. Tyrel is dead.

James: What have I done? Jessiebelle: (smirking) Congratulations, James. Your first kill.

*James just whimpers.

Jessiebelle: You should be happy. You didn't even like him. James: I drew blood. I killed someone. Jessiebelle: And the really funny part is, I controlled you and made you kill him. (laughs)

*James snarls and glares at Jessiebelle.

James: Leave me alone.

*Meowth and Lenny drag him out of there. James is pale.

Meowth: Are you okay? James: No.

*James begins to cry quietly.

James: I hate Tyrel. And I hate Jessiebelle. (sobs) Meowth: I know how you feel.

*Meowth puts his arms around James. James hugs Meowth. They stay like that for a long time. Neither of them are thinking about Jessiebelle's newest guard.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Jessiebelle got a new guard. This guard really surprises James and Meowth.

*Their day starts out just like any other. Walking along, minding their own business, trying to avoid death. Then Jessiebelle grabs James inconspicuously. Meowth and Lenny follow. Jessiebelle takes James to her dungeon.

James: What more could you possibly want to do to me? Jessiebelle: Don't you want to meet my new guard? James: I'd rather not. Jessiebelle: Well, you're going to see him anyway. Evander, you can come out now. Evander: Is he here?

*Evander's voice sounds very familiar to James, but with a different accent.

Jessiebelle: Don't be shy. Come meet your target.

*A black-clad boy comes out of the shadows. James gasps. The boy looks exactly like James. The same hair, the same body type, the same face. And he's smirking evilly and James is staring at him, horrified.

Evander: What are you staring at, James? James: You have my face.

*Evander looks straight into James's eyes. His eyes are an icy shade of pale green, much colder than James's emerald green eyes.

Evander: Not exactly. I have the same Pokémon, too. James: No, you don't. You can't. Evander: You're right. Koffing and Weepinbel aren't the same as Weezing and Victreebel.

*James faints from the shock and from staring into Evander's eyes.

Meowth: What have you done to him?! Evander: He can't handle my Glare.

*Evander pimp slaps James. James wakes up, covered in sweat.

Evander: Did you have a nice nap?

*James just snarls and scowls at him in a very undignified way.

Jessiebelle: Good boy, Evander. Evander: Thank you, Master.

*Jessiebelle pats Evander on the head. Evander smiles like a dog getting patted on the head.

James: If you're so obedient, why don't you marry Jessiebelle? Evander: Because I'm helping her marry you. And I'm not suited to become the sacrifice. Jessiebelle: Leave Team Rocket. Marry me. James: No. I won't leave Meowth. Evander: Come now, the Temple Witch told you you're no good at it. James: That Temple was a trap! You disrespected Tylas's spirit!

*Evander hits James across the face.

Evander: Don't you tell us about disrespect, trollop!

*Evander takes out a Pokéball and releases a Persian.

Evander: Persian, fury swipes!

*Persian scratches James. He cries out in pain. Evander calls out an Arcanine.

Evander: His name is Archie. James: Copycat. Evander: Archie, bite him!

*Archie bites James. James screams. Evander calls back Archie and Persian. He starts beating James himself. He continues to whip James even after he's unconscious.

Meowth: Get away from James!

*Meowth slashes his way in and fights off Evander. He and Lenny get James out of there. He's covered in blood. Meowth collects some of the blood, cleans James up, and takes care of his wounds. James wakes up.

James: Is he gone? Meowth: Don't worry. He's not here.

*James begins to cry silently.

James: Why did she have to get a guard that looks exactly like me? Why did I have to kill that other guard? Meowth: It was self defense. James: That was my first kill ever. Meowth: I hate to say it, but you might have to do it again.

*James looks at Meowth, horrified.

Meowth: You have to kill Evander. James: No! I couldn't! Meowth: But if you don't kill him, he'll kill you!

*James shakes his head.

James: I'm not killing anymore. Tyrel will be my first and last kill. I can't kill Evander. Meowth: Then what are we going to do? James: I don't know. But there has to be another way.

*To be continued….

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: If you keep saying "Make it double," one day a fic writer will actually take you up on it.