Toxic Rocketshipping: But What Are James's Thoughts On Yaoi? (part Two Of Three)

Toxic Rocketshipping: But What Are James's Thoughts On Yaoi? (part two of three)

It might seem like the fic has calmed down, but it's just trying to lull you into a false sense of security.

Part one is here.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; gross misunderstanding of slavery; possibly uncomfortable discussions of romance; Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; found family to lovers firebomb; Jessie freckle-shames James; silly, middle-school romance writing; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (so much James whumpage)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(Meowth's point of view)

James was in the sun, working on our plan.

It didn't work.

James gets freckles when he stays in the sun for a long time. I thought it was cute, but Jessie didn't.

"Get rid of those hideous spots," she said.

"I can't," James said.

"Then you'll just have to be uglier than usual." Jessie sounded like she didn't care about James's feelings.

James just stared at her. Then he ran into our room and closed the door.

"What's his problem?" Jessie said.

"His problem?! What's your problem? Why are you trying to hurt James like this? He never did anything to you. He cared for you all the time. You never even said 'thank you' once to him," I said.

"Thank him? That little bitch? I'd rather marry that twerp. At least he's not as ugly as James," Jessie said.

"I don't believe you," I yelled.

I went into our room. James was lying down. His hair was messy, his eyes were swollen from crying, and he had dark circles under his eyes. Tears ran down his face, over his freckles.

"What's wrong, James?" I knew he could be upset because of what Jessie said, but there might be a deep-seated reason for all this crying.

"I heard the whole conversation. Jessie hates me." James's voice shook as he spoke.

I didn't want to tell him the truth. But lying only makes things worse. So I just didn't say anything.

"I knew it," he said.

"I just don't know what's with Jessie. First, she buys you, now she abuses you," I said. "I don't know what to do to comfort or protect you."

"It's okay," James said.

We sat in an awkward silence for a long while.

Then James asked the question.

"Would you mind if I liked Pokémon?"

"You mean, 'like them' like them?"

"Yes. It's called Pokébestial."

"No. I wouldn't mind. Actually, I think I'd like you—I mean, like it, too."

Why?

"Okay," James said.

Like you? Why did I say that? I wasn't ready for James to know that. The only way he didn't hear that is if he couldn't think clearly.

Wait a minute—I just kinda mumbled it. That meant it was likely he didn't hear it.

Good, I thought.

-O-o-O-

(James's point of view)

I was out of love with Jessie, but I think my orientation got a little "off."

I think I'm Pokébestial.

The closer I got to Meowth, the more I liked him. At first, he was like an older brother, then he was like a twin brother, then we were like good friends, as in playmates. Then we started becoming like best friends.

Suddenly, I had a crush on Meowth.

What if he had a crush on me?! We'd be boyfriend and—

Hold up. Wait a minute. This'll have some yaoi in it.

That just didn't seem right, but I couldn't do what Jessie or anyone else would think is right. I had to tell Meowth.

But what would Meowth think? What if he was like everyone else? What if he didn't like it?

I was in for a real surprise.

-O-o-O-

Later that afternoon, we were sitting in our room, all alone.

Just us boys. No Jessie. She wouldn't want me until nighttime.

"James? I need to talk to you," Meowth said.

"Okay," I said. But I noticed something about his voice. It was soft, almost shy-sounding. He was also blushing a little, I could see it through his fur.

"Did you hear what I said about you being Pokébestial?" he asked.

"No. What did you say?" I asked. I started to get just a bit suspicious.

"I said that….I'd like it," Meowth said.

"Why?" I asked. I kind of knew why, but I just couldn't think clearly because of what it was.

"I like you."

"Like me, like me?"

"Yes."

Right then. I just found out my crush likes me too. What did I do? I did the only thing that was in my character to do.

I passed out.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Being Pokébestial is probably better than being a sex slave for your coworker, though neither is recommended.

a scene that will not leave my head

Setting: A 24-hour diner called Waffle Hut. The "W" in the light-up sign is blown out so it reads, "Affle Hut." Jessie, James, and Meowth stand outside the filthy, weirdly sticky glass door while an employee stands in front of it, barring their way.

Jessie: What do you mean, you don't serve Pokémon? He's toilet-trained, can talk, and probably cooks better than any of you!

Meowth: (is distracted by a roach crawling on a table) Do I really want to be served here?

(James, who is pregnant with Meowth's kittens, pukes in the outdoor trashcan.)

James: (wiping mouth) Why do I crave French toast?

Aaaand scene.

More Sim Team Rocket.

This sums up the household pretty well, I think. Jessie is randomly doing push-ups, Meowth is talking and doesn't care if the other two are listening (possibly having a Giovanni fantasy), and I don't even know what James is doing back there.

They survived the first night in the cursed Sim shack! Their reward is a proper toilet.

Not a comfortable toilet, mind, but at least they won't get attacked by squirrels when they need to pee.

Meowth, when you tell him to take a bath.

A casual family portrait of sorts. (Human Meowth finally got in the bath like I told him to.)

James nearly chopped off a finger making their breakfast salad, but he's not bothered by it.

Meanwhile, Jessie paints the Arnolfini Wedding.

"More like the Arnolfurry Wedding."

Meowth rudely spurns James's cooking to eat the leftover fruitcake even though HE KNOWS it'll give him an uncomfortable moodlet.

Nice to know his mild masochism carried over to the Sims world.

Kitty Meowth you get your butt out of that salad! James slaved over that counter for five whole minutes to make that!

He actually put that in his mouth.

"Waste not, want not."

"DO NOT WANT," says Jessie of the cat butt salad.

Meowth plays guitar to Meowth. Nice to see him bonding with himself.

The bees were in a bad mood that day.

Poor James.

James and Meowth take turns pushing each other on the swings.

They look so happy.

Meowth kept giving this look at James's butt. If they get together in the Sims, at least they'll be the same species.

another crackfic dream i had

i was plagued by a ghostly apparition of james, haunting my bathroom and howling "why must you torment me with such trials and tribulations eeeehoohoohoo (james noises)"

and in the corner, there was a wraithlike meowth lamenting the fact that ghost james didn't have any feet for him to lick

y'all wanna see James and Meowth's experiment in action?

too hot for tumblr fanart below the cut

you have been warned

This is how the Meowth kittens are made

James is wearing socks because it's kinkier that way

Bad Blood: Jessie Is A Crazy Ass Vampire. Yep, That's The Fic (part one of three)

Another story in which I try to write Rocketshipping and fail spectacularly. I seem to have done this a lot.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; colorful language; violence; sexual abuse; blood mention; bizarre focus on James’s virginity (because of course there is); very loose understanding of medical and psychological issues; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie (she's Elizabeth Báthory now); just vampire things 🧛; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (blame it on the Strix, grabbin people's dicks, blame it on the au-au-au-au-au-Aufhocker)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(Meowth's point of view)

We knew Jessie was violent.

Our conversations seemed to be centered on revenge and fantasies of bathing in our enemies' blood.

We didn't really think about it that much. We thought she was just high on crack or watching too many horror movies.

We were horribly wrong.

(James's point of view)

Jessie really started scaring us. She kept trying to bite me. I tried to hide, but where could I hide in a tent?

Once, I went to bed and woke up with my pants off and Meowth guarding me. As soon as I noticed my lower half was showing, I squealed and pulled my pants back on.

"She tried to have sex with you. But she didn't get any part of your family jewels. You're still a virgin, James," Meowth said.

I was turning bright red. I knew because I felt my face get hot. I'm pretty sure I was as red as Jessie's hair.

Or blood.

I went into the bushes. My whole body was shaking. I threw up.

Meowth came out. "Are you all right?"

"No," I said.

"It's Jessie, isn't it? She tried to bite you and hump you," Meowth said.

I couldn't help gasping at the word "hump."

"I think….Jessie might be a vampire," I said.

"That's a little farfetched," Meowth said.

I believed him so I didn't think about it anymore.

(Meowth's point of view)

James and I were glad we were out in the woods because we could easily run away if Jessie got out of hand.

She did.

One night, after a messed up Pikachu plan, Jessie started cursing out James.

"You stupid bitch! How the fuck could you fuck up such an easy plan? What the fuck was so hard to understand about our cunting plan?" she yelled.

James was in tears as he screamed, "I tried my best! It would've been better without the pitfall!"

Jessie backhanded James across his face. James was knocked over.

Suddenly, I heard a rustle in the bushes. Jessie and James didn't hear it because human ears aren't as strong as Pokémon ears.

I looked over at the bushes.

"Jessie? What are you doing?!" said a familiar voice.

Mondo came out of the bushes.

Jessie didn't answer him. She just picked up a stick and started to beat James with it. Mondo ran over to her and grabbed the stick.

"What could he have possibly done to make you do this? Why are you beating him up?" yelled Mondo.

"He screwed up a plan for catching Pikachu!" yelled Jessie.

"Just because of that?! That's no reason to try to kill him," Mondo said. "Meowth, what exactly happened?"

I told him exactly what had happened. Every single move and quote.

"None of that was even partly James's fault. Why were you beating him up?" Mondo said.

"I know why," I said.

"Why? Is there something you're not telling me?" Mondo asked.

"Jessie won't tell and I didn't want to scare James, but Jessie's a psychopathical vampire," I said.

"But….Vampires aren't real," Mondo said.

"She keeps trying to bite James with her fangs," I said.

Suddenly we heard a scream. Jessie was holding James by his shirt and brushing his hair away from his neck.

"Jessie, don't!"

(Mondo's point of view)

Jessie touched James's family jewels.

That did it.

I tried to get Jessie off of James, but Jessie was too strong.

"Get off of me!" James screamed. He struggled, unsuccessfully, to get out of Jessie's hold.

Jessie bit James.

Meowth threw a rock at her ass.

Jessie got off James. James fell to the ground, unconscious.

Jessie got out her paper fan and—whack!

Meowth should wear a helmet.

I got James and his things. They were all in his backpack, along with his tent. Meowth was packed up, too.

I ran off into the woods, carrying James. Meowth was right behind me. I heard Jessie yelling, "Come back here with my Child of Darkness!"

We were safe from that blood fiend.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Crack is an epidemic in the ranks of Team Rocket as well as in my fic.