So If There's A Merperson (maybe With A Seahorse Tail), Can They Be Vored On Friday Or Are They Not Fishy

So if there's a merperson (maybe with a seahorse tail), can they be vored on Friday or are they not fishy enough? And is it wrong to vore an mpregged merman? Or is it only wrong to vore them once they've gotten to the trimester where they're displaying seahorse mannerisms?

Also, if you vore mpreg seahorse Jesus, does he burst out of you like an alien after three days?

Tumblr is trying so hard not to let me post the funniest lent picture I've ever seen but I don't give up easy

I would love to write while sitting at one of these with dramatic classical-like music in the background.

But I know I'm not worthy of the big adult writer desk. It'll be the kiddie card table for me.

You don't understand, I want — no, I need one of these. My life will only be complete when I'll have a big, dramatic wooden desk.

Invasion: The Day After (Part two of three)

In which teen!me attempts to write the aftermath.

Part one is here.

Content Warning: Violence; rape/noncon aftermath; character assassination of Buzz Grunt; depiction of the Beaker household as not being a den of unethical experimentation; Loki and Nervous are apparently adoptive brothers in this; attempted revenge; Buzz is ableist towards Nervous; attempt at depicting trauma responses

-O-o-O-o-O-

The next morning, Circe woke up early, an amazing feat, considering that neither she nor Loki had gotten much sleep the night before.

It’d taken Loki a while to calm down, but that was more than understandable, considering the situation. He’d accepted that he couldn’t take a shower until they went to the hospital to check him out. He didn’t like it, but he also accepted the idea that Circe wouldn’t be the only doctor examining him.

Then they’d settled into bed, thought they didn’t go straight to sleep. Circe desperately wanted to snuggle up to Loki, but after he’d rejected her embraces, she wasn’t sure how to go about it. It didn’t help that Loki lay there, stiff as a board, as if she were going to try to hurt him.

Loki hadn’t wanted to reject Circe’s advances. In fact, he was looking forward to coming home to his wife after that encounter. But every time she grabbed for him, he relived Buzz knocking him over and tying him up. Every time she tried to touch him, he felt Buzz’s hands on his skin. And then there was the pain and debilitating feelings of helplessness that followed.

He didn’t even notice how tense he was in bed until he saw Circe roll over out of the corner of his eye. That was right about when tensing his muscles wore him out and he fell asleep.

It didn’t end there. Neither Loki nor Circe slept for very long. For oe, Circe tossed and turned, thoughts of revenge on Buzz running rampant in her mind. Many of her dreams involved torturing Buzz, mostly by throwing him off the Beaker house.

In her tossing about, Circe would occasionally grasp Loki’s wrist and hold on. This caused Loki to awaken, screaming for Buzz to get off of him, no doubt because of some horrid nightmare he was having. His screaming woke Circe, who managed to calm him down. Then they were both back to lying in bed, with Circe not knowing what to do and Loki experiencing the living version of rigor mortis.

It got progressively worse until, as usual, Circe grabbed Loki’s wrist. Loki bolted up, screaming, but Circe, not fully awake and thinking, tried to push him back down into bed. Loki, also not awake, struggled to get away, still screaming. Circe was woken up by the second round of screaming; Loki was woken up by his own tears.

The only reason the two were able to get any sleep was because Circe gave it up and decided to spoon with Loki. That way, she didn’t toss, turn, and grab Loki’s wrists and Loki didn’t bolt upright or become reminded of the rape.

Circe looked at the clock: eight-thirty. Their appointment wasn’t for another hour and a half and the alarm would go off soon. She might as well get dressed.

The alarm went off while Circe was getting dressed. Loki reached a hand out from under the covers (somehow he’d gotten buried underneath them) and turned it off. He slid himself out from under the bedclothes and went to the dresser to get dressed.

As Loki dressed, Circe noticed, he kept his back to her and seemed to be trying hard to be inconspicuous, almost as if he were ashamed of his body. He’d done this the first few nights they were married, but he’d eventually grown out of it.

“Buzz really did a number on you, didn’t he?” Circe thought, half sadly, half angrily.

Circe looked across the hallway. She hadn’t seen Nervous all night. Come to think of it, she hadn’t heard him all morning, and he usually got up early. Today was his day off as well, so he couldn’t have gone to work.

“I’m sure he’ll turn up later today,” Circe thought. “He’s heard what happened and he’ll want to offer his support.”

-O-o-O-

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill your disgusting ass.”

Nervous was stronger than he looked, Buzz observed. And fast. He’d seen the boy coming and he still couldn’t stop him from pinning him to the floor, then wrapping his hands around Buzz’s neck.

“Are you off your meds, boy?” Buzz spat out. The hands around his neck gave a squeeze.

“You know damn well what I’m talking about. What the fuck were you thinking, violating Loki like that? What were you trying to prove?” Nervous never once raised his voice, and that made it all the more unsettling.

“Why is it any of your business?” Buzz spat back.

“It’s my business because it’s my brother. I don’t know how things are in your family, but I take care of my own.”

“Why would you bother? If you were younger, you’d probably just get taken by the Social Worker again.”

The smack was expected, but it still hurt. However, Buzz was able to break free from Nervous, which of course, resulted in Nervous diving at Buzz, trying to take him down again. Buzz was prepared this time. Soon, the two were lost in a cloud of dust.

Pascal Curious was taking a jog through the neighborhood. Today was an unusually nice day; it was usually too cold this time of year for a jog.

As he was preparing to sprint towards the Grunt house, he saw a huge cloud of upset dust. A few fists could be seen and occasionally a foot appeared. Pascal shook his head. No doubt Buzz was fighting with Loki, yet again. Pascal continued to sprint.

But when he saw a flash of blue-black hair, he paused. “It couldn’t be…”

As Pascal approached the cloud, he realized he was sorely mistaken.

In a flash, Pascal managed to separate the two men and hold them apart.

“You don’t know shit about my family!” Nervous shouted.

“I know enough to say they’re all a few tacos short of a combo meal!” Buzz yelled back.

“What has gotten into you two?” Pascal shouted.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Buzz retorted, then stomped off into his house.

Pascal gaped after him, then turned to Nervous. “Walk with me.”

Nervous obeyed.

“What the hell was that back there? You were hitting and clawing like you aimed to kill him! What did he do that was bad enough to warrant murder?”

Nervous said nothing.

“God, what were you thinking? He could’ve killed you—he may have been laid off, but he’s still a trained General! You’ve hardly even been in a fight! Nervous, are you listening?”

Nervous stopped and looked Pascal dead in the eye. “Pascal, he’s a trained General, but I’m the son of Death himself. I’d never use my powers to kill people, but if Buzz got too violent, I would not have hesitated to knock him on his ass. I’ve been trained to fight, by my father, and I’m pretty sure he trumps Buzz’s father. And murder would be letting him off easy after what he did.” Nervous then continued to walk away, forcing a dumbfounded Pascal to follow.

-O-o-O-

“Well, the rape kit results are positive, not that we doubted it,” Abhijeet Cho announced to Circe. He cast a glance at Loki in the adjoining examination room. The man was sitting silently, head down, legs pressed together, absently twirling the end of the white hospital gown he wore. “Poor guy.”

Circe smiled inwardly. Abhijeet and Loki fought like dogs most of the time, but at least they could feel compassion towards each one another.

After informing Loki of his options (which he knew very well), the Beakers set off for home.

Circe tried to make conversation on the drive home. “So, the good news is, you can take a shower now.”

Loki stared out the window, looking lost.

Circe tried again. “Should we pick up morning after pills at the store?”

Loki dragged his eyes to look at Circe and gave a weak shrug.

“We’re already home, you know,” Circe said.

Loki looked out the window. They were.

“Have you noticed the hospital gowns aren’t open in the back anymore?” Circe tried humor to get any kind of reaction from Loki. She got a twitch of the mouth that was meant to be a smile, but lacked joy.

This was good enough for Circe. She got out of the car and went inside, Loki trailing behind.

“Nervous! If you’re here, we’re home!” she announced.

“In here,” a voice from the study answered.

Circe walked into the study and gasped. Loki’s eyes widened. Nervous had various bruises and scrapes on his face, neck, and arms.

“What happened to you?” Circe asked. That many bruises and scrapes could only mean one thing. But Nervous never did that….

“It’s nothing. I just got into a fight with Buzz,” Nervous answered with a scowl.

Loki sat down on the couch next to Nervous. “Did he do anything to you?”

“Well, he hit me a few times—”

“No. I mean did he….”

Nervous stared at Loki, then shook his head. “No. But if he did, he would’ve needed to go to the doctor, too.” Nervous made a move to put a hand on Loki’s shoulder, but thought better of it. “I couldn’t let that bastard get away with what he did to you. I saw the condition you were in. I couldn’t let him get away with it.”

Loki sighed. “I understand. I just worry about you sometimes.”

The three were silent. Nothing more needed to be said.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Don't piss off the Son of Death.

Sometimes I feel like an elephant pissing in a porcelain sink.

You Got Played: Kaiba Gets Cheated On While I Play Unfitting Music (Part Three of Five)

It is becoming apparent that the concept of a songfic (a fic that includes song lyrics that actually make sense with the plot) was lost on teen!me.

Part one is here. Part two is here.

This fic contains: Teen!me laboring under the delusion that Bandit Keith is the same age as Yugi and company; song lyrics inserted into the prose; mpreg for real this time (bonus “even pregnancy of the male variety does not work that way” content); vomit mention; Bandit Keith being a prick; everybody is kind of an idiot; author’s notes to give track listings; abortion mention; anti-abortion protesting and abortion being outlawed mention; cheating; terrible OC; Noah Kaiba somehow being alive and bizarrely invested in his brother’s romantic life; Yami/Atem is corporeal for some reason; Blue Eyes White Dragon underwear as a plot point

-O-o-O-o-O-

The next morning, Noah was thinking (or obsessing) over the argument he had with Kaiba.

“Maybe Seto’s right. Maybe I only think Keith’s cheating because I don’t like him. Maybe I just like butting in too much,” he thought. “No! That’s wrong! I saw Keith cheating with my own two eyes-twice! Maybe this is one of these things that he needs to find out on his own.”

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Kaiba was puking his guts out. He had no idea why he was doing it, but he knew it was worse than it had been the morning after he did it with Keith.

Mokuba walked in. “Seto! Are you okay?” he asked, worried.

“I’m fine, Mokuba, I’m probably just coming down with something,” Kaiba answered. “I must’ve caught it from Yugi’s room. I think Yami had the flu last week.”

“What were you doing in Yugi’s room?” Mokuba asked.

“We….we were….um…..we were kinda, sorta, maybe doing it,” Kaiba answered. “But don’t tell Noah.”

There was a period of silence.

“Maybe you’re pregnant,” Mokuba said jokingly, trying to get Kaiba to relax.

Unbeknownst to Mokuba, Kaiba took his joke seriously. Kaiba grabbed his trenchcoat, ran to the drugstore, and bought a pregnancy test. When he got home, he went back into the bathroom and, following the instructions in the box, peed on the white oval on the little plastic stick. After about a minute, he looked at the oval. There was a blue plus sign on the oval.

Kaiba’s grip on the test tightened until the plastic stick snapped in his hands.

-O-o-O-

“That test is wrong. There is no way I could be pregnant,” Kaiba thought angrily. He washed his hands vigorously, then dumped the test in the garbage can. “But….it wouldn’t hurt to go to the doctor and see if the test could be right.”

Kaiba went to the doctor’s office (he had made an appointment earlier), where the test was proved right.

“It has to be Keith’s. But I can’t tell him. He’ll probably dump me even faster. And I definitely can’t tell my brothers. I don’t want to worry Mokuba and Noah would go ballistic,” Kaiba thought.

Meanwhile, at the Muto residence, Mr. Muto was taking the laundry out of the dryer when he found an odd piece of underwear. It was a pair of white boxers with Blue Eyes White Dragons on it.

“What’s this? I’ve never seen this underwear before,” he thought. He decided to go ask Yami and Yugi about it.

“Yugi? Yami? Is this your underwear?” Mr. Muto asked, giving them the underwear.

“Um….yeah, it’s my underwear,” Yami answered.

“Really? It looks a little big for you.”

“Yeah! That’s why….uh, that’s why I’m….I’m gonna take it back to the store for a refund! Yeah, that’s what I’ll do!” Yami said, trying so hard not to sound fake.

“I’ll take it back for you, Yami!” Yugi said. “Because I know where you got it!” Yugi sounded extremely fake.

“Thanks!” Yami said.

“I’ll just take this back to the store and not to Kaiba’s house because it’s not his underwear!” Yugi said.

“What was that last part you said?” Mr. Muto asked.

“I said…..maybe I’ll find another pair! Yeah, that’s what I said!” Yugi said.

“Okay,” Mr. Muto said, then he left.

“That was close,” Yugi and Yami thought.

-O-o-O-

Yugi set off, underwear in his pocket, to find Kaiba. He decided to go to Kaiba’s house first.

Kaiba was pacing the floor, wringing his hands, and worrying about his relationship with Keith when he heard the doorbell ring. He went to go answer it since Mokuba and Noah were doing something else.

Yugi was standing outside. “This is a really big mansion,” he thought. “I bet Kaiba has a really big bedroom….and a huge bed……Wait, what am I thinking?! Why did I just think that?! Okay, stay calm, think normal thoughts…This underwear looks a little stretched out in the butt…..Kaiba’s got some junk in his trunk…What the hell?!”

At that moment, the door swung open and Kaiba came out.

“Hey, Yugi,” he said.

“Hi, Kaiba,” Yugi said. “I brought you these.” He held the underwear out to Kaiba.

“Thank you,” Kaiba said, taking the underwear.

Yugi started to stare straight ahead—at Kaiba’s crotch. “I wonder if he’s wearing any underwear now,” Yugi thought.

“Um..Yugi? I’m up here.” Kaiba was looking down at Yugi with a concerned expression on his face.

“What?” Yugi looked up. “Oh, sorry.”

“So, would you like to come in?” Kaiba said, stepping back to let Yugi in.

“No, thanks. I should probably get going,” Yugi politely declined.

“Are you sure?” Kaiba really wanted Yugi to stay. He liked being with Yugi.

“I’m sure.”

“Okay.”

“Bye, Kaiba.”

“Good bye, Yugi.”

Kaiba watched Yugi’s short, retreating figure.

“Yugi’s so sweet…I love him…..What the—I love him?! But that’s not right…I’m having Keith’s child…How can I love Yugi that way?”

For the first time in his life, Kaiba was utterly confused.

Yugi walked home with his hands in his pockets.

“Kaiba’s changed a lot since Battle City,” Yugi thought. “He seems a lot nicer…and hotter…Why am I suddenly wishing that he’d break up with Keith?”

‘I used to pride myself on being the other man, But now it’s flipped and I don’t want you with no other man.’ “I guess we’re only meant to be friends, or dueling rivals…” ‘Why can’t you understand anything I’m offering? I gave you the world but you just wanted arguing.’

“I still wish he’d come over to the game shop more often.”

‘Won’t you come on and go with me? Come on over to my place. Won’t you sit yourself down and take a seat? Let me ease your mind. We’re gonna do it our way.’ (author’s note: My Place - Nelly)

-O-o-O-

The next day, Kaiba sat on the subway with his brothers.

“How am I going to tell Keith about his child? He might not like the idea of becoming a father so young. And because the anti-abortion groups protested, I can’t get an abortion. I could never bring myself to abort a child, anyway…I’m afraid to tell him, but I can’t wait till it’s too late,” Kaiba thought.

‘Sitting on a crowded train, It’s all good, it’s all good, it’s all good. Wishing all the time away, Til that day, that day!’

“On the other hand, he might be okay with all of this. I wish I knew what he was thinking.”

‘Oh, Seto, hold on. Just hold on, and on, and on, and on. Oh, Seto, be strong. Just hold on, and on, and on, and on.’ (author’s note: Jesse Hold On - B*Witched)

The train reached the stop. The Kaiba brothers got off and ascended out of the subway station and walked to the mall.

They were walking around the mall. Mokuba and Noah were trying to pick up girls and Kaiba was just along for the ride. He was also hoping that he would see Yugi there.

The brothers were sitting on a bench in an obscure part of the mall, when they suddenly heard someone yell, “Bandit Keith, what’re ya doin’?!”

Kaiba recognized the someone as Joey, but he didn’t think much of it because Joey was always running around, talking at the top of his voice. But then he heard Yugi ask, “Bandit Keith, who’s this girl?”

Kaiba snapped to attention. He began to walk closer to get a closer look. Mokuba and Noah followed him.

He saw Joey and Yugi looking at Keith and some other girl. Joey and Yugi looked shocked and horrified. Keith looked like he was thinking, “Shit, I’ve been caught.” The girl had a “what-the-hell-is-going-on” type of expression on her face.

“Um.. This is my girlfriend,” Keith said, stupidly.

“But I thought you were wit’ Kaiba,” Joey said. Then it hit him. “Wait a minute…..You’re cheatin’ on `im!”

“Bandit Keith! How could you cheat on Kaiba?!” Yugi yelled. Keith was staring at something—or someone—behind Yugi. “Hey! Look at me when I’m talking to you!” Yugi shouted.

“Uh, Yuge? I think he’s starin’ at Kaiba,” Joey said.

Yugi turned around and saw Kaiba standing there. “Oh, no…..”

Kaiba stared in disbelief. “He’s got a girlfriend,” he thought, “and she’s beautiful….”

Kaiba had an expression of mostly anger and disgust on his face. But Yugi could also see, in Kaiba’s eyes, that Kaiba was heartbroken.

Kaiba ran off to the bathroom silently.

“Kaiba, wait!” Yugi called.

But Kaiba didn’t even look back.

-O-o-o-

“He has a girlfriend,” Kaiba thought angrily. “I’ve been such an idiot. How could he possibly want to be with someone like me, when he could be with that sexy girl? How could I let myself get tricked like that?”

Kaiba walked out of the stall he had been sitting in and splashed some water on his face. Then he exited the bathroom.

Noah and Mokuba were waiting outside the bathroom.

“Let’s go home,” Mokuba said.

So they went home, since they were tired of the mall, anyway.

Meanwhile, at the mall, Yugi and Joey were still chewing Keith out for cheating. Kyra had gone into a cosmetic store and, being the ditz she is, she didn’t remember what had happened not but five seconds ago.

“You low-down, piece o’ trash cheata! Dis is da lowest thing a guy like you could do! I don’t even like da guy, but how could ya cheat on Kaiba like `dat?!”

As you can probably guess, Joey was doing most of the talking while Yugi seethed silently.

“Listen, dorks! Why don’t you just butt out and mind your own goddamn business?!” Keith yelled as he walked off.

“Man, what an asshole!” Joey exclaimed. Then he looked down at Yugi, who was staring into space. “Yuge, you okay?”

“I hate Bandit Keith.”

Joey was shocked. He had never heard Yugi talking about hating anybody-except this substitute teacher they had once, but she was a bi-otch, so everyone hated her.

“But, Yuge, you don’t hate anybody.”

“Except Bandit Keith. I wish he’d go to hell.”

Joey got scared. “You’re freakin’ me out, Yuge.”

Yugi sighed. “I’m sorry, Joey. I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just that I hate what Bandit Keith did to Kaiba. He shouldn’t be able to get away with it.”

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Even if you are male, you will not know if you are pregnant the day after you had sex.

ok ok hear me out here

narfcest but

Pinky x Poity Pinky

eh? eh?