Ineffable Husbands+text Postsbonus:

ineffable husbands + text posts bonus:

the foxes’ kids and andreil (this is so long but i don’t care!)

none of the foxes’ children qualify for the team, which is all that matters

they have been taught from a very early age that both uncle andrew and uncle neil have been hurt by bad people, and that means they don’t always like to be touched

the kids are usually really good with it because they understand in their very simple, youthful way, but sometimes they do slip up

it’s pretty widely accepted that andrew is better with kids than neil

one time amalia (kevin and thea’s daughter) gets so excited to see andrew after months apart she runs and jumps on him

kevin has a 2-second heart attack, but andrew obediently picks her up and listens as she rambles on about watching him play on TV and how he’s the best goalie ever and she thinks he should have a statue-

neil gets better with them as they get older, he’s just easily overwhelmed by their energy sometimes and has no idea how to track all the different conversations happening around him

but all his friends know he loves their kids fiercely and they’re perfectly happy to send them on short trips with him to the grocery store for ice cream and such

they usually come back with more than that because the kids figure out they just have to look at neil with big eyes and he’s like “ok yeah we can get a whole sheet cake, too”

“neil what the fuck” “dan, he said it’s your birthday” “neil i know you know when my birthday is”

when they’re little, the best thing neil can do is play a very toned down version of exy with them in the backyard when they all get together

this is especially good with allison’s mansion because there’s so much space, and she always has a table of snacks and drinks waiting off to the side that nicky just stands by and continuously eats from

all the parents have photos of neil teaching their kids how to hold rackets or pointing at the goal and gesturing while their kids stare up at him adoringly

andrew always watches because the sight of neil josten, fastest player in the us major leagues, taking tiny steps so as to not outrun a six year old is probably the best thing in the world

when allison’s youngest comes out as trans, andrew switches to calling her ashleigh and using the right pronouns immediately and without a hitch

aaron and katelyn end up having kids a bit later than everyone else, but surprise surprise they’re twin girls

it is no secret they are andrew’s favorite and no one is mad about it

they have the same blonde hair and they’re so small and fragile and he would set the world on fire for them

it brings him and aaron closer together, too

the girls are good at telling them apart, but sometimes one of them will go “daddy?” and andrew replies “try again” without missing a beat

they pick it up! aaron will be tired after a long day of doctoring and mix them up and they’ll say “try again” 

andrew is amused

whenever renee’s son spends time in the hospital or is at home on bed rest, andrew will send him long, handwritten letters about anything and nothing at all

no one else knows about the letters, but they make renee cry

when the kids get older and start their Angsty Teenage Years, they turn to aunt allison and uncle andrew to be angry

andrew’s apathy helps, because sometimes you just need someone to listen and let you feel things

one time amalia randomly calls andrew in a rage about how “dad is so obnoxious sometimes, oh my god, i cannot stand him and i’m outside right now because i just need space and i know everyone says i have to be patient with him but-” 

“you’re absolutely right, he’s an asshole”

it makes her stop frustration crying to laugh, then she’s quiet for a while, and then she says she’s going to go back in and talk to her dad

a while later kevin is visiting and talking about a terrible screaming match and the heart-to-heart they had after and he thinks he said something that was meaningful and got through to make her apologize

he doesn’t get why neil finds it so funny, he is actually a very wise and thoughtful father thank you very much

neil takes putting up the kids’ drawings on the fridge very seriously and andrew has to assure him they will not be hurt if the corner of someone else’s paper is covering theirs

neil also always agonizes over gifts, he’s so afraid of buying things they don’t like

sometimes andrew finds him just standing in front of the calendar where all their birthdays are neatly marked, frowning like he’s analyzing another team’s stats

andrew usually ends up doing all of it because it makes neil way too stressed

one of aaron’s girls gets a boyfriend in her junior year of high school that actually ends up cheating on her

it’s sad but she says it’s not that big of a deal because she wasn’t in love with him and she’s always been very mature about these things

after a healthy cry with katelyn she gets up and jokes about calling uncle andrew because that’s what all her “cousins” do when they’re in crisis

yes all the kids call each other cousins because they’re that close

aaron, who’s cooking dinner, thinks “aw that’s cute”

but then he realizes

and he flings himself into her room shrieking “nO NO DO NOT DO NOT TELL UNCLE ANDREW”

andrew, from the phone: “don’t tell me what”

aaron retreats, accepting his role in a possible crime, but he hovers out in the hall to listen in

there seems to be too much laughter for murder, so aaron prays it’s fine

the next day the girls return from school full of glee because someone slashed her ex’s tires right before dismissal!! no one knows who!! everyone is buzzing about it!!

“andrew did you really drive several hours to ruin some teenager’s car” “you don’t have any proof, and it was neil”

part 3 of my neil and the foxes headcanons coming soon! you can find them and more in the aftg headcanon tag on my blog :)

the contrast of aziraphale telling crowley 'come back to Heaven we can be together' vs gabriel saying "wherever Beelzebub is, is my Heaven" I'm gonna be sick

wdym is this not how it went

shishishi. hello luka fans (included me) watching miraculous recently I couldn’t hold back and had to draw this beautiful little angel y'all don’t know how hellish it is to draw a guitar but i did my best :D 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒓𝒕, 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 <3

You defile beautiful things.

GOOD OMENS (2019-) // OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH (2022-)