Super Dumb Naruto Headcanon: Tailed Beasts, And Their Jinchuriki By Extension, Are All Instinctually

Super dumb Naruto headcanon: Tailed Beasts, and their Jinchuriki by extension, are all instinctually afraid of rabbits.

Why?

Because of Kaguya, aka the Rabbit Goddess. Basically, all the Tailed Beasts remember her on some primal level and know she’s bad news, so they Tailed Beasts and Jinchuriki naturally avoid anything associated with her, which includes rabbits.

Honestly, this is just an excuse to envision the most powerful beings and ninja in the Shinobi World cowering from an adorable bunny.

Thoughts?

Haku would be unstoppable! Just give him time to build his army of bunnies and you'll see!

Hey hey hey, what if what if-

Iruka's mom was an Uzumaki, and the reason why he was here during the Kyubi attack was because he originally was suppose to be the Junchiriki if anything happened to Kushina or his mom.

And he knows it.

He knows he was supposed to be the sacrifice after his aunt's and mother's death.

Not the innocent newborn son of the Hokage.

Naruto wasn't supposed to be the Junchiriki.

And seeing how people treats him...

Makes him glad he's not the sacrifice.

But he feels so so so bad, so horrible.

This is a child. An innocent child that never asked for this hate.

He was supposed to be the one suffering.

Not the child.

How could he ever ask forgiveness for not being what he's should have been ?

How can he explain to this child that he should never have been hated ?

That he was the original choice for sacrifice ?

How to look him the eyes and tell him ?

So he does the next best things.

He cares for him.

But it's so so hard.

Because he's so scared.

Because he doesn't know how to care for others and himself.

Because he doesn't know how to show and say he loves someone.

But he still tries. But it's not enough.

The reveal with Mizuki is even more brutal because he knows.

Iruka told his best friend that he was supposed to be the Junchiriki.

:)

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And the Nohara...

The purple Markings :) yep

An Uzushigakure Clan, close with reptiles (snakes and lizards) and the main medical/poison specialist of the Village.

They have two main branches.

The Shikon (fang) Branch have eyes markings. They work with snakes, poisons and medicine. Everything that does something to the body without "touching" it. They have particular like characteristics, like a long tongue and elongating body membres (arms/neck).

The Sukēru (scale) Branch have cheek markings. They work with Lizards, nerve strike Taijustu and Tealing Justus. They can lose and regrow membres and organs. Yes, the heart too. (As long as they can use their chakra and still a completely healthy and functioning brain)

Both Branch have reptile like yellow eyes, sharp long fangs, little scales on their body and a naturally "poisonous" chakra.

Orochimaru is mostly of the Shikon Branch. Rin is mostly of the Sukēru Branch.

It is quite common for the two Branch to marry into eachother.

Rin : *gasp as she quite literally come back to life* Holy fucking shit- worst way to destroy a seal, would NOT recommend-

Kakashi : RIN !? D';

Obito : RIN !? D';

Rin : Madara's a lil bitch.

Y. E. S. They are married old men. I love them so much T^T

Okay so funny idea-

Rivalry is the only way to court a Hatake.

Being rivals with a Hatake means you are courting them.

Kakashi : *waiting for Gai, for almost over 20 years (!), to finally give him any fucking gifts that he could accept, signifying they would now be mates*

Gai : ETERNAL RIVAL !!! :D

Kakashi : *silently crying in his head*

Kakashi's ninken : *sigh in pain*

Gai : *has absolutely no idea about Hatake courting* ? :D

In the pure world :

Sakumo : *wincing for his son* aouch... My poor little pup...

Dai : *annoyed at his son obliviousness* SAGE DAMNIT SON-

Also... The Senju brothers being half Hatake.

Izuna : Aha ! We meet again rival !

Tobirama : Pardon !? since when ?! *Blushing shocked*

Izuna : Eh ??? *Confused*

Hashirama : !!! You didn't tell me Tobi ! :0

Madara : Izuna you moron ! They're half Hatake !!!

Izuna : !!! OH UM- NEVERMIND ! *blushing embarrassed*

Hashirama : Aw :'( *disappointed*

Tobirama : ... *Is secretly disappointed too*

Touka : *is laughing like a hyena*

Hikaku : *is sighing in exhaustion*

The rest of the Senjus and Uchihas fighting : *Stop fighting to observe bemused at the interaction*

During the summer where Hashirama and Madara meet... :

Madara : So are we rivals now ?

Hashirama : Ah- um... Maybe...? If you wanna, I wouldn't mind... *Is fidgeting, shy and blushing*

Madara : *looks at him confused* ???

Hashirama : I'm half Hatake...

Madara : OH- hhhhhhh... No. Sorry... *Looks away blushing, actually sad he has to say no*

Hashirama : Oh... ;'( *Sad little puppy*

Omfg yeeessssss, and it's not intentional each time ! X3

Uzui was chilling peaceful as the one first one here, waiting for the other to arrive with Himejima. He was talking calmly (or as calmly this man can be) with his fellow hashira.

Until...

Someone suddenly just touch his shoulder.

He will let every single one of you that he absolutely did not jump on Himejima in his scare nor scream like a little girl, nuh huh. Not at all. But if he did, it wa- um... He means would be completely and absolutely flamboyant !

Kanae stop laughing-

Anyway-

He turn his head towards the person whom (and no, he didn't have to get down Himejima.)... Just touch his shoulder and nothing else. To... Someone he doesn't know ?

"Sorry... Tomioka Giyu... Newest hashira... Hello ?"

Oh yes ! The new guy ! Water hashira if he's not mistaken. "Hey Tomioka ! Welcome and congratulations on your promotion !" Eh ? That seems to make him uncomfortable ? Oh well. "Pleased to meet you, Tomioka-san, welcome and congratulations." He simply hum as a response. Huh, he doesn't seem like the talkative type. Oh well, too bad.

He goes to his corner on his own. And Uzui tries to listen to his heartbeat...

Eh ?

EH ?!

EEEEEHH ??!

He... He doesn't... Have an heartbeat...?

"Himejima...?" "Yes... I know..."

Oh. This is why he... No they didn't hear the guy arrive.

"Okay what the actual f-"