Also If I Go With The KisaIta Thing. I Feel He Could Probably Win Kisame Over Without. Too Much Difficulty.

Also if I go with the KisaIta thing. I feel he could probably win Kisame over without. Too much difficulty. But would have a harder time with Itachi soley because he couldn't read Itachi near as well. Like.

He's assigned as a temporary third of their squad while the organization is figuring out what they're doing since it isn't like yknow. Kakuzu or Sasori will be much help in refining his talents (Water based jutsu and kenjutsu - something both Kisame and Itachi are familiar with plus just. Them generally being clan + if Shizuma awakens his sharingan [which I have so many thoughts on oh boy] at least he'd have someone to train him. Plus Kisame to watch for his loyalty since tbf the last time a guy went "Let me join!!" It didn't go well [Orochimaru].

Him joining and being like. Okay. I'm in the era of conflict. Fuck yeah. This feels so much closer to the concept of home vs anything I've felt in a long while. He's feeling it, absolutely settling in well. With his general quietness/politeness (Kakuzu + Sasori are happy he's out of their way), being absolutely down to wreck havoc with them when Hidan or Deidara are getting up to shit, and moving like a machine on missions - absolutely having the time of his life while being so efficient and out of the way it actually helps Kisame and Itachi on their missions despite him being substantially weaker. Just. Aiding them both and utterly triving falling into bloodlust^tm with Kisame.

But anyway. Him just. Not being able to figure out why Itachi doesn't seem to like him (Itachi doesn't hate him he's just. Trying to slide the fucking kid into his plans and trying to decide how to handle him. Mission wise and emotionally.)

But Shizuma just. Absolutely obliterating the enemy and looking over his shoulder like See. I'm Strong. I Belong Here. And absolutely falling apart over the realization that. Fuck. He's always wanted validation for his existence deep down. But having got it from Kisame. He wants it from Him too. What does he have to do to get it. And just. Losing his mind trying to understand why he's not getting it bc. Look!! He's ruthless, just like Itachi. Look!! He's clever in battle, just like Itachi. Look!! He took down like 10 guys himself, isn't that something to look at!!

Just. Shizuma being faced with the realization that what he wants is not Just Bloodshed. That he was *Built* for bloodshed and that he's *Good* at bloodshed so he *Does* bloodshed and deserves to be acknowledged because *Hes Doing It Right, He Is Right, Doesn't Itachi See That? Doesn't The World See That?*

Meanwhile poor Itachi is watching from the sidelines like oh. Great. Parenthood. Now I can juggle the emotional crisises of a fourteen year old plus mine. Okay. Fuck. Good job, universe. Give the man that is simply a pile of emotional baggage wrapped in a cloak ANOTHER bag to carry and keep track of. Great idea.

Time travel au with Shizuma where he ends up in the past and attempts to join the Akastuki by offering them information on the future. Giving them intel he learned in school/from stories to avoid their eventual defeat (/eventual 'peace' in the mist). And being horrified as a good chunk of the organization is like "Maybe we should speed run this if we have a clean shot to achieving peace actually" while he is there going "no no no listen that is NOT the message I am trying to deliver"

My new favorite typo of all time: "His eboy eyes-"

Ebony. His eyes are ebony.

Itachi, I'm so sorry.

My younger sibling, making some of their health mix for me: Okay so as warning. This stuff works wonders but is disgusting. I usually take it in shot form and follow it with a chaser.

Me: Yeah okay lol dramatic ass pour the vegetable shot

Me, taking the shot and literally falling to my knees with tears in my eyes: oh my god why would you put yourself through that every day. What the fuck man.

I feel this is the closest thing to ever getting to try Xie Lian's cooking. My gods. It's like burnt matcha, protein powder mixed with paint, and limes all thrown together.

Today I learned that a high pain tolerance does NOT translate to having a strong stomach. My knees actually and for real hit the floor. My ass was kneeling on the kitchen floor doing the world's shittiest Itachi impression like.

I will say. The headache that has plagued me for months does hurt a bit less only ~15 minutes later. I think that fucking concoction knocked it out of me.

an artist

whoops! i want to make tobirama suffer tonight.

what if behind the stoic attitude there wasn’t a guy who denies his emotions (which is the main hc if i’m right) but a guy who spends his nights crying and having breakdowns over and over again and is absolutely miserable. he’s only good at masking! which makes him even more lonely and isolated.

no, it’s not that he’s not interested in friendships or romantic relationships, he simply has no idea how to communicate and connect with people. he feels like nobody wants him and will ever truly love and want him.

hashirama doesn’t count, he’s his brother, of course he loves him. he didn’t choose him. and that’s the point: nobody chooses tobirama.

he is the no-fun, cold, weird and unappealing guy. he clearly isn’t the worst but he is very very average on everything that is not related to power or science/knowledge. just a nerd

You think Itachi ever felt bad that his last few months with his father were filled with fighting and disagreements. Which ended in a resounding "I know we don't always get along but you're my son and I love you anyways". Because I sure do.