Happy New Year 2004!

Happy New Year 2004!

I used a timeinator to turn back time to the mid 2000s when things were simpler and major historical events didn't happen.

But like everyone still thinks it's 2024 so...

Scientist Stereotypes

Biologist: Can't do math

Theoretical Physicist: Can’t do anything but math

Geologist: Rock collection addict

Military Scientist: Meet the Engineer TF2

Archeologist: Thinks about the Roman Empire more times a day than most men think about sex 

Sexologist: Thinks about sex more times a day than most men think about the Roman Empire

Chemist: A pyromaniac and/or is very fun at parties

Science Communicator: Is only fun at parties when everyone else there are nerds

Mycologist/Entomologist: They are VERY interested and passionate about gross things and THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM

Computer Scientist: gay

Something about the Emperor's New Clothes; why would the Emperor want to wear clothes he believes  are invisible to incompetent people? Does he want incompetent people to think he's naked?? Is he an exhibitionist with a stupidity fetish???

Are any Fields with “Science” in their Name Actually Sciences?

Military Scientist: It’s called “military science” because we apply the scientific method and rigor to military problems. For instance: how many artillery shells are needed to make sure those guys over there are either very dead or are deaf and have crippling PTSD? We’ll just run an experiment to make a formula for that. I got a PhD in this!

Political Scientist: I mean, we TRY to use a more rational scientific approach to politics. Like what policies actually work and which ones just sound like they work. Of course it’s the policies that sound good that actually get the votes so no one really listens to us but y’know

Computer Scientist: I’m not entirely sure if it’s really a science since we made most of this stuff up in the first place, it’s more like engineering, but it sounds cool. Computer science!

Library Scientist: *sighs* Yes, library science is a social science and all the social sciences are sciences, and so are the formal sciences like computer science. You could have easily looked this up. Now, SHHH!

Citizen Scientist: I’m not a real scientist, but I’m doing science!

Mad Scientist: So what if I don't have a real degree? So what if I don't use controls, or the scientific method, or even write anything down?? Neither did Frankenstein! Isn't mental illness and a lab coat enough?!

Christian Scientist: Yeah, I’m definitely not a real scientist. We’re the prayer warrior people. It sounded cool back when science was new, I guess, idk.

Scientist: The heck, this isn't the VShojo convention?

Thoughts on this Atopodentatus?

Anything to say?

Come study BIOLOGY!

No that is NOT plant necromancy, resurrection plants are totally natural I swear!

SCP-157 I MEAN TARDIGRADES are totally cute and completely indestructible WE'RE NOT JUST PRETENDING THEY'RE MOTAL BECAUSE WE CAN'T HOPE TO CONTAIN THEM

ehehe look at this cool biohybrid robot we made using actual living muscle cells it's like a reverse cyborg NO OF COURSE IT"S NOT CREEPY??!!

I swear to GOD put on that fucking mask or you'll be killed by the invisible magic curse VIRUS

O F CO UR SE We solved the magic death plague by tampering with the very building blocks of life itself what kinda hacks would be be if we didn't??? Closest thing any of us have to a soul why not dick around with it? Totally NOT magic though

what the fuck