Jaune: *In Hospital Bed* Doc Says I Should Make A Full Recovery. So Long As We Avoid As Much Physical

Jaune: *In hospital bed* Doc says I should make a full recovery. So long as we avoid as much physical contact as we can.

Ruby: Oh thank goodness. Guess we’ll need to be more careful from now on. *Gets ready to leave*

Jaune: Aren’t you forgetting something~

Ruby: Alright you goof. *Chuckles before blowing him a kiss* Get better soon~

Jaune: *Heart flatlines*

Ruby: AAAAUUHHH!!!

Jaune: *staring at Ruby’s thighs*

Jaune: I want them to crush my skull.

Ruby: What?

Jaune: I said this is such bull.

A purple fireball crashes before Ruby and Yang. It explodes in a spectacle of awe and power. From it, reveals a knight clad in black and white armor, gold accents strewn around. A blood red sash flaps in the wind from his waist as he looks up to the sisters, whom immediately put their guard up, unsure what the knight will do or say first.

GrimmKnight!Jaune: *Wheezes in pain, his armor still letting off smoke from the fireball he came out of* My inside's are on fire!

Ruby: Uh... You good?

Yang: If not, I'd say we keep it that way.

Jaune: *Groans as he straightens himself* Yeah. Yeah I'm totally good.

Ruby: 😑 Nice recovery.

Jaune: What was that?

Ruby: Nothing!

Jaune: Well, in that case, hello children! Queen Salem said that I can't get back on my PS5 until I capture the silver-eyed girl, so lets get this over with quickly, eh?

Ruby: There's a PS5?!

Jaune: Yeah! How did you not-wait...

Jaune: (Thoughts) This means the girl's uncultured. Oh, we're gonna have some fun here. 

Jaune: Y'know, I bet beating you chumps isn't even gonna be a big challenge!

Ruby: Why's that?

Jaune: Because I was the only one in the queen's crew who was able to take on Lord Bofa.

Ruby: Bofa?

Yang: *Groans* Oh no.

Jaune: *Sinister laugh* Bofa Deez Nuts! 

With a wave of his now glowing sword, the knight unleashes a wave that knocks our heroines off their feet. His laughter rings across the battlefield, much to the annoyance of the sisters.

Jaune: Oh man. I haven't faced huntsmen this weak since Saw Con!

Yang: Ruby wai-!

Ruby: What is Saw Con!?

Jaune:

I mean... Is this even a contest

Fiona: Hi, you must be Ruby.

Ruby: I must?

Fiona: You know, we have a friend in common... Jaune.

Ruby: How do you know Jaune?

Fiona: We're friends. Sometimes we run into one another in town, and we go get dinner after.

Ruby: Let me guess... He takes you to the library where your favorite books are in a high shelf?

Fiona: He does.

Ruby: Yeah, that'll stop. And dinner? Don't get used to it. *Chuckles before grabbing Fiona’s collar and pulls her in close with her silver eyes flaring up.* I've seen dozens of you. I've outlasted them... And I'll outlast you.

Fiona: 😨

Jaune: Alright, General, I've landed.

Ironwood: Great work, Arc. Commencing Operation Flying Arcs.

Jaune: You got it. But first, let me get something to eat. *Rummages through bag*

Ironwood: ...

Jaune: Why isn't there food in my bag?

Ironwood: Well, we had to make room for your medicine, bandages, dust-

Jaune: Ok, that's great. What the fuck am I supposed to eat?

Ironwood: ...

Jaune: No.

Ironwood: Arc.

Jaune: I'm not eating a fucking tree frog.

Ironwood: This is what you were trained for.

Jaune: Why don't you eat a Tree Frog?

Ironwood: No... I don't want to.

Jaune: Exactly. So you better be sending me some goddamn luchables.

Ironwood: Arc, those don't even exist in this world.

Jaune: I'm fighting a lady with a Grimm arm who shoots fire out of her fingertips, a mutated human Grimm hound, and Ozpin's magical, immortal, Grimm ex. But luchables, that's where we draw the line?

Ironwood: *Sighs* Fine. I'll get you your lunchables.

Jaune: *Smiles* Bitchin'

Weiss: Ok, we'll start south of Mantle. You two start north, and we'll rendezvous in the middle. Assuming of course, Ruby and I haven't already caught the fugitives by the time you two show up.

Jaune: Weiss, there are nine hardened criminals running free in the streets. This is hardly the time for childish trash talk.

Weiss: *Quirks an eyebrow*

Jaune: It's time for a bet, a crazy ass bet.

Weiss: *Smirks* What are ya thinking?

Jaune: Whoever catches the most fugitives gets to keep their apartment. Loser moves in with the winner. *Extends a hand*

Weiss: Alright, I'm in. *Shakes Jaune's hand before leaning in threateningly* I hope you like sleeping in a bed with 1,000 pillows.

Jaune: *Leans in as well* Well, I hope you like sharing my one grey towel.

Weiss: ... Was it grey when you bought it?

Jaune: I didn't buy it. It was in the apartment when I moved in.

Weiss: Are you sure you don't want to just move in with me?

Jaune: We already shook on it. The bet stands. Prepare to die, and by die, I mean move in with me.