By Far My Favorite Request. Excuse To Draw The Mercs Andcats? Yes Please.

By far my favorite request. Excuse to draw the mercs and cats? Yes please.

They hate Felix (it’s mutual), love Siris (He’s so confused), and want Locus’ attention (Both parties are confused. “why me” )

@unicowu

You know I am disappointed that no one in the rvb fandom’s long and crack-filled history

took a moment to have an au where Lopez falls in love with church

Like Lopez and Sheila are just two bisexual ai in a strait presenting relationship in cannon.

It is a very bi thing to start a revolution/uprising

The idea of Lopez coming too only to see a (slightly broken) smart ai stretching out right in front of him and not taking a nano second or five to check out his code before panicking over the fact:

A) that’s a blue

B) that’s a male(?)

C) does this make me gay??

F) wait do I technically have a gender??

And twenty more existential crises and one failed attempt to literally run from his problems later he says ‘fuck it’ and just tries to seduce one dumb smart ai

————-

Church: ok which one of you asswipes keeps breaking into my room and l leaving me erotic binary?!

Tucker: dude, the fact that you understand binary so well that you know it’s erotic is kind of sad..

Church: WAS IT YOU??!

Tucker: no!? Why would I waste time with you when I could copy and paste some shit off of google and hand it to a lady??

Church: I DON’T KNOW! All I do know is that it’s like twenty pages long and smells like motor oil.

————

Lopez: step one, do not be attracted to the blue team leader

Church not looking up from his laptop: hey Lopez, command just sent out our monthly munitions and just decided to send the tank supplies anyway even though Sheila is on the fritz. Do me a favor and have a five finger discount on any motor oil and spare parts you like. *muttering*god knows no one else in this side of the goddamn cannon would know what to do with it

Lopez: I have failed step one

——————

Sarge: Lopez how could you fall in love with the enemy?! A harlot who will only break your very combustible heart!

Lopez: I get free oil from a hot ai who gives zero shits. It’s meant to be.

Grif: hold on sarge how do know he’s been at the blue from his own free will? Maybe he’s been brainwashed or they put a bomb inside him or something!

Lopez: nope. Literally just the booze and hot dude.

Sarge: no it’s no use I can see it in his eyes! He’s loveblind!

Simmons: HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE EYES!

Sarge: I know it’s hard to look past the rose petals and red tint but you godda Lopez! You just godda! You’re like a son to me!

Lopez: I could literally care less.

————————

*Shelia turns back on*

Lopez: WHY IS IT THAT ALL THE HOT AI GO TO BLUE TEAM?!!

——————

Church: hey Lopez is there any way I can hop a ride with you without doing the possession thing? Because I am done with the rest of the team and honestly you don’t make me want to rip my hair out so you are on my ok side right now so I don’t want to be dick.

Lopez: this is sudden I need a moment

Church: why?

Lopez: I get sweaty when I am nervous.

~~~~~~~~

*after they get church situated in a port-like system*

Church: man! This is actually pretty nice! You know how to roll out the red carpet for a guy huh Lopez?

*church stretches and accidentally brushes against one of Lopez’s code*

Church: shit! Sorry! Uh you good dude? Because I just felt your motor do something funky.

Lopez: *Basically on the fritz due to the code equivalent of church grabbing his hips*

I know that I might get some looks for this but it is what I wish you to consider

I wish I was one of those boxes labeled "Fragile" just so that people know

Baymax in the new Baymax! show buying pads for a girl who got her first period and getting help from people, including a trans man.

Some people are really mad about this, when he is literally a health care robot interested in people's physical and emotional needs.

i’m sorry it’s already too late and july not june now I know my mind was…elsewhere, I hope everyone had a good and safe Pride month, regardless of in or out of the closet, and have some Blue Team

In order:
Caboose (Pan) and Church (Demisexual)
Kaikaina/Sister (Bi/Trans) and Tex (Pan/Trans)
Tucker (Aro) and Junior (Gay/Demiboy)
Carolina (Bi) and Wash (Demisexual)

church is so short if he fell in a pothole he'd get lost