Church Rvb - Tumblr Posts
so I’ve been posting all of my RvB sketch dumps on my DA but I thought I’d share my shit w/ y’all bc I’m real proud of ‘em lmao
I don’t know how tumblr formatting is gonna butcher the quality but if you can’t read it just open the image in a new tab!
Blue Team is definitely my most favorite ones to draw, and after binge watching the series twice in two weeks I’m honestly??? So Proud?? of Washington??? He goes through so much shit! Likewise with The Church family, they make me so fucking sad man :(!!
You know I am disappointed that no one in the rvb fandom’s long and crack-filled history
took a moment to have an au where Lopez falls in love with church
Like Lopez and Sheila are just two bisexual ai in a strait presenting relationship in cannon.
It is a very bi thing to start a revolution/uprising
The idea of Lopez coming too only to see a (slightly broken) smart ai stretching out right in front of him and not taking a nano second or five to check out his code before panicking over the fact:
A) that’s a blue
B) that’s a male(?)
C) does this make me gay??
F) wait do I technically have a gender??
And twenty more existential crises and one failed attempt to literally run from his problems later he says ‘fuck it’ and just tries to seduce one dumb smart ai
————-
Church: ok which one of you asswipes keeps breaking into my room and l leaving me erotic binary?!
Tucker: dude, the fact that you understand binary so well that you know it’s erotic is kind of sad..
Church: WAS IT YOU??!
Tucker: no!? Why would I waste time with you when I could copy and paste some shit off of google and hand it to a lady??
Church: I DON’T KNOW! All I do know is that it’s like twenty pages long and smells like motor oil.
————
Lopez: step one, do not be attracted to the blue team leader
Church not looking up from his laptop: hey Lopez, command just sent out our monthly munitions and just decided to send the tank supplies anyway even though Sheila is on the fritz. Do me a favor and have a five finger discount on any motor oil and spare parts you like. *muttering*god knows no one else in this side of the goddamn cannon would know what to do with it
Lopez: I have failed step one
——————
Sarge: Lopez how could you fall in love with the enemy?! A harlot who will only break your very combustible heart!
Lopez: I get free oil from a hot ai who gives zero shits. It’s meant to be.
Grif: hold on sarge how do know he’s been at the blue from his own free will? Maybe he’s been brainwashed or they put a bomb inside him or something!
Lopez: nope. Literally just the booze and hot dude.
Sarge: no it’s no use I can see it in his eyes! He’s loveblind!
Simmons: HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE EYES!
Sarge: I know it’s hard to look past the rose petals and red tint but you godda Lopez! You just godda! You’re like a son to me!
Lopez: I could literally care less.
————————
*Shelia turns back on*
Lopez: WHY IS IT THAT ALL THE HOT AI GO TO BLUE TEAM?!!
——————
Church: hey Lopez is there any way I can hop a ride with you without doing the possession thing? Because I am done with the rest of the team and honestly you don’t make me want to rip my hair out so you are on my ok side right now so I don’t want to be dick.
Lopez: this is sudden I need a moment
Church: why?
Lopez: I get sweaty when I am nervous.
~~~~~~~~
*after they get church situated in a port-like system*
Church: man! This is actually pretty nice! You know how to roll out the red carpet for a guy huh Lopez?
*church stretches and accidentally brushes against one of Lopez’s code*
Church: shit! Sorry! Uh you good dude? Because I just felt your motor do something funky.
Lopez: *Basically on the fritz due to the code equivalent of church grabbing his hips*
I know that I might get some looks for this but it is what I wish you to consider
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Red vs. Blue Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Michael J. Caboose & Leonard L. Church, Michael J. Caboose/Leonard L. Church Characters: Michael J. Caboose, Leonard L. Church | AI Program Alpha Additional Tags: Season/Series 05, No Smut, Tickling, Non-Consensual Tickling, There's a safeword he just has his pride, Accidental Stimulation, Ableist Language, He gets punished for it don't worry, Use of the R Slur, Dom/sub Undertones, Sexual Tension, Awkward Sexual Situations, Foot Fetish, Not but it might as well be, Awkward Boners, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Caboose Fucks Series: Part 1 of Y'all Need Therapy. Have Some Tickles Summary:
Church is tired of Caboose always watching the same damn show. Caboose is done with Church calling him a child and using slurs.
A fight for the remote ends up into something more.
Idk what to say cause like. To me, Simmons and Donut are trans. Caboose is genderfluid. Doc is nonbinary. Kai is intersex. And locus is agender
RED VS BLUE FANS!
I was thinking about trans hcs in the rvb fandom, tiering the levels of average to bonkers and the popularity of each character being trans in my brain, but i don't know if my opinions are universal
Rb for sample size and, if you feel like it, drop everyone you hc as trans in the tags!
a humble request for kai and tex cuddlepile if it please thee 🙏
i have a feeling this is gonna be a really long image ..
the og badass herself amen !!
Red Vs. Blue face headcanons! Since y'all wanted em out before Season 19 dropped!
In defense of Simmons not being a red haired twink: big buff DnD and science nerd.
And some extra notes under the cut:
You can take all these with a silly grain of salt, I'm not a long-time RvB fandom frequenter but did like some bits.
Simmons: Dutch-Irish but keeps getting called 'of a Latino persuasion' by Grif. Also funnily uses 'cracker'. (so mixed.) Cybernetics built from the same sort of stuff Lopez is made out of, visibly running down the left of his face, neck, ribcage, and arm. His arm worked the best for Grif because they're around the same height.
Grif: Too lazy to cut much of his hair, but it's necessary when his helmet doesn't properly secure. Also, a beard is beneficial for catching some little save-for-later snacks. Carving started out as a fidgeting task if he somehow couldn't sleep.
Donut: Just barely hits the twunk allegations in comparison as the lankiest out of a group of fat and buff guys, somehow more durable than all of them despite it and is still above average in build. Started really trying to compensate for his image because of his scar, which developed into really being able to love himself.
Sarge: LOVES his sergeant stripes. Don't tell him but his eyes might be blue. He will say they're grey, though. Don't ask about the bullet hole in his head, either. It's not that he doesn't want to talk about it, just that he'll probably go on a rant about Grif.
Church: Rest in piss Jimmy. Church doesn't naturally feel sleepy though, not like he has this body for long. The scar on his neck was smooth enough to not raise any alarm, and a lack of sleep may have hindered his fight-or-flight reflexes while he still lived...
Tucker: A few scars from his alien encounter, a glimmer in his eyes a slight indication of his connection with the blade-key along with the visor changes. Poor guy couldn't grow his hair long because of the helmet.
Caboose: Most head trauma of anyone ever, injuries hidden by his thick curly hair. Sure doesn't keep him down! It may contribute to a loop of him losing teeth and continuing to worry about the tooth fairy being mad at him, though.
Update! I DID IT! :D
Fun fact! I haven’t seen sailor moon, so this was me grabbing a reference of all the sailors and then going “these two have similar colour pallets/vibes” and rolling with it, so I hope it turned out okay, I have no reasonable explanation to why their in this scenario except for “I thought it’d be cool and I said so” so hope y’all like it :]
May or may not have decided to draw all of blue team as the sailors from sailor moon... whoops :/