Dean Misremembering The Purgatory Portal Scene Is Altering My Brain Chemistry In So Many Ways. What Do

Dean misremembering the purgatory portal scene is altering my brain chemistry in so many ways. What do you mean Dean remembered it as him not being able to save Cas because he wasn't strong enough, but in reality Cas let go??? We know he remembers some things perfectly like when Cas went into the lake because he had nightmares about that, but how many other things does he misremember? Does he remember Mary dying? Does he remember all his fights with Cas? Does he remember all the times Sam died? This was such a missed opportunity to do more. They could've made Dean even more traumatized by having him misremember something for so long, and then him having to learn it was completely different and having a whole crisis about it.

Ok. My idea of the last 3 episodes of secret good spn

E17. Pretending it chuck was manipulating deans actions more directly than was shown bc no fucking way hed do that especially pulling a gun on sammy

E18 fucking hurts. . I wont change it

In reailty, only thing id change abt e19 is just jack mentioning he'll drop by now and again and some more explict dean & jack forgiving each other for the shit they did

E20 is completly different. None of that happens ok. Not one thing. Wdym dean lets cas jut rot in the empty love confession or not 😭

I know there was the covid factor but in an ideal world here are loose ends id like tied up:

Sam and elieen getting into a more commjted relationship/elieen moving into the bunker

dean/jack getting cas out of the empty AND REUNIONS GODDAMIT

Sam and dean dissusing talking about going on hunts less, and sam talking about opening up the bunker as a hunter safe house and dean n sam being like the new bobbys.

And i want it to end smth like this:

Sam opening the door, then the door opening again and again, shot of jacks 'hi', jody, patience and alex w donna, claire and kaia, garth & his wife and rowena, maybe even adam.

That intercut with shots of dean lookign up from him cooking in the kitchen smiling.

Hugs, smiling, cas leaning over and kissing dean on the cheek or smth, elieen and sam holding hands, laughing, and them all js chilling drinking beer & eating pie together, then a pan over to some shrine or just some photos of a wall of everyone whos not there, aka bobby, charlie, kevin, mary, Jo, Ellen, benny, ect. (Id put crowley but no way in or out of hell dean would do that, and tbh, theyd probably put john there but no<3)

Then sam and dean and cas going over there looking at the photos, and jack coming over and telling them smth abt how he fixed heaven, and theyre waiting for them, but that they should take their time. And sam and dean hugging jack and telling him theyre proud of them and them just being happy okay? Coz they fucking deserve it. They did it. They beat god. This is their story now.

And dean can look over at sm and be like "hey sammy. We didnt do to bad in the end huh?"

And sam will smile. "No. I guess not."

And wayward son would come on as th camera zooms out and cuts.

Dean deserves to have a proper relationship with jack when hes not being manipulated into using him or trying to kill him, and having a balance between family and hunting.

Jack deserves three dads who love him.

Sam deserves to do what he cannonically wants to do and is good at.

Cas deserves to be happy, with his family, out of the empty

Destiel deserves cannonization.

Rewatching 'Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets' is such an enlightening experience. The amount of Destiel in this episode is insane. What do you mean a few seasons prior Dean gets mad at Cas for "personal space" and then literally sits on him at the diner, and then also basically cusses out Ishim for mocking Cas? What do you mean Ishim says he'll cure Cas of his human weakness like he did his own, aka killing his human lover, and then charges Dean with an angel blade. And what do you mean Cas lays there, nearly dead, and Dean forfeits blasting away Ishim because there's just a chance it might kill Cas. (Even though I think Ishim's full of shit there because I don't think it really would've blown Cas away)

Not to mention the entire episode was them having marital disputes because of Cas killing Billie to save Dean and Dean's 2 favorite people, and then giving a heartfelt confession about how much they mean to him.

Viktor is my new favorite autistic icon.

My autistic ass should not be able to write fanfic bc then I'm usually forced to do research, and when I do, I do way more than necessary and go down the weirdest rabbit holes of random crap.

These lyrics right here. This whole song is Destiel coded.

Trees ll- McCafferty