Happy Aro Visibility Day

Happy aro visibility day <3

I was going to say this is so incredibly unfair. WHY would you pit jägers against each other? And then I realized, no no, 100% fair to have jägers fight. THEY'D LOVE THAT.

SO

VOTE OGGIE! Oggie wins this one for me simply cause of this supremely casual moment of I bite a hat.

(What? Deja Vu? I posted about this last week? Caught me red-handed you did. But then you'll understand my bias and why I'm landing with Oggie this fight.)

BUT HOKAY. MAXIM wins The Hat off Ol' Man Death mit de sottle no less!

(From Maxim Buys a Hat)

Poll Administrator... I'm realizing now you've caught them without their hats on... and I'm here posting about them getting hats... Which means there's only one way to end this post!

Look at how proud they are of their new hats. LOOK AT THEM! LOOK AT THEIR SWAG!

(Is this post actually hat acquisition propaganda?)

(Yeah, yeah it is ...)

Round 1

If Cosmere characters played Terraria...

Previously, Stormlight characters played Stardew Valley. Now, let’s say the Cosmere characters all had access to the computer game Terraria. What would that be like?

1. Adolin: Very excited by all of the swords

Shallan:  Adolin, love, you don’t have to carry around ALL of your new swords.

Adolin: I can’t leave any behind!!

2. Wayne: Very excited by all of the hats

Wax: Why are you fighting with the sparkle wand?? You HAVE the ice sword!

Wayne: Don’t ya see the wizard hat I’m wearing??

3. Steris: Takes care of chest organization & base building while Wax fights

Steris: And THIS chest is filled with all ingredients needed to make buff potions that lend bonuses to combat skills, whereas this chest contains ingredients that make buff potions related to defense or speed.

Steris: The appropriate crafting stations are right above as well.

Wax: T-That’s amazing!

4. Renarin: Keeps throwing himself into fights totally unprepared

Adolin: W-wait! Did you buff at all?

Renarin: (using a wooden bow against the Eye) Come again?

5. Sebarial: Spends all his money getting the best gear

Sabarial: Well, it took 50 platinum, but all of my gear is now “Warding.”

Palona: While you were doing that, I beat Skeletron.

Sabarian: Heeey, my strategy worked! 

6. Szeth: Speedruns

Szeth: What is speedrunning?

Szeth: I simply killed all of the bosses immediately and in order.

7. Raoden: Builds ideal houses for all of the NPCs in their preferred biomes

Raoden: All the walls are bright colors! Everything is clean!

Raoden: And I dyed all my clothes orange immediately, of course.

8. Vivenna: Builds simple but effective homes for all NPCs

Vivenna: I also put all of the paintings away into boxes, where the colors won’t scare them.

Siri: Vivenna…

9. Denth: Puts all the NPCs in NPC prisons.

Denth: You know what I hate most about being a mercenary?

Denth: If you build tiny, prisonlike homes for all of your Villagers, people think your gameplay reflects your character.

Denth: Instead of it just being the simplest and most effective way of housing them all!

Tonk Fah: Hey, is it time to drop the Guide in lava yet?

Denth: Don’t mind him. 

10. Kaladin: Protects the NPCs

Moash: Kaladin, please. They literally just respawn with new names if they die.

Kaladin: EDWIN, NO! STAY INSIDE–IT’S A BLOOD MOON!!

11. Vin: Gets a grappling hook as soon as she feasibly can

Vin: [soaring through the caverns]

Elend: (dying from fall damage for the 19th time): How do you do that so well???

12. Eshonai: Plays on the hardest difficulty

Eshonai: It’s the only way to experience everything the game has to offer.

Eshonai: I also play on the largest world!

Venli: The biomes literally just repeat.

Eshonai: So many new caves to explore!

13. Lift: Plays on the easiest difficulty

Lift: Because I’m just a little kid!

Wyndle: Y-You just SHREDDED the Destroyer!

14. Dalinar: Becomes deeply invested in the lore.

Dalinar: “You feel an evil presence watching you.”

Dalinar: …

Dalinar: But what do those words mean?

15. Kelsier: Uses glitches

Kelsier: And by spawning a thousand ducks from this duck statue, I ensure that only the head of the Destroyer spawns! No probes at all!

Vin: Wow, how did you learn that?

Kelsier: There’s always another secret.

me every time i take a sip of my cappuccino: do they know it's called cappuccino because the color is similar to the sackcloth worn by capuchin friars (cappuccini). do they know capuchin friars got their name from the hood (cappuccio) they wear. do they know cappuccino is a double diminutive as it comes from capo ('robe') + uccio = cappuccio ('hood' but literally 'little robe') + ino = cappuccino ('tiny hood' but literally 'tiny little robe'). do they know

For Girl Genius Event Week day 1, Parent Generation, I finally got around to scanning the cover of this paperback I found in a discount bin hahaha just kidding I made this. I've wanted to do a Heterodyne Boys pulp-style cover for a while! Heavily styled after the Hardy Boys, who were always in the foreground pointing at things in the mid- or background, and referenced against the extensive collection at @pulpcovers. The art is acrylics on canvasboard; the lettering and weathering are digital.

Ask me about the fonts. "The-?" THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST, all of the lettering was drawn by hand! (Except the watermark.) This made the process much slower but was more fun for me. If you ever need to hire someone to design a logo....call me.

Sorry it's late, @girlgeniusevents!

Do you see these pulp heroes? Do you like them? Do you promise to love them? The pulp heroes are now in a deconstructive lastgen tragedy.

adolin in the menagerie telling kaladin not to feel sorry for the captive whitespine, it's dangerous and always will be no matter how helpless it looked while kaladin remembers the whitespine attack that killed roshone's son and the way his father stopped trying to treat him cause there was no point. adolin next chapter admitting he liked the noise of the dueling arena because it reminded him of a battlefield and what he was doing was more than just a game. dalinar in the beginning of the book saying i intend to take the lock off your scabbard. zahel shouting you're not cornered! when the other shoe drops and it's four against one and adolin is STILL provoking fearspren in the other men just from being there and he thinks to himself this whitespine is not yet caged and he nearly goes and beats them by himself and sadeas comes out of that duel fucking terrified cause he realizes adolin was DANGEROUS all caps. adolin throwing himself into prison willingly immediately after the duel cause he owed it to kaladin and he was tired of slow justice. adolin 500 pages later straight up taking sadeas OUT cause he's not playing anymore he's tired the whitespine remains uncaged and now we know the man will act on his nature at the drop of a hat!!! the insanity of him saying don't feel bad for that thing, kaladin, and then to immediately liken himself to it. buddy WHAT is going on